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December 2013 Moms
Obsessed with weight gain!
I know it's selfish for me to feel bad about myself for gaining a little weight during pregnancy but I cannot quit worrying about it! It's already something I struggle with on a day to day basis getting pregnant hasn't helped any!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Obsessed with weight gain!
I do understand the frustration with seeing these posts all the time, but I think this is crossing the line a little. I'm sure many of the people making these posts legitimately do struggle with weight gain/loss & these posts are a way for them to express their worry/anxiety about it. My advice is just avoid reading the posts with weight gain in the title if it bothers you (that's what I typically do).
Umm, whoa. Let's just hold our horses right there. There are a ton of these "weight gain/obsessed with my weight" posts daily here on the BMB and on the trimester boards. It does get frustrating for people not trying to focus on their weight or for people that do or have had eating disorders. Just seeing the title mentioning someone obsessing about their weight is enough to put the thought into their head without even reading the post. That is why the members of this BMB that have been here for quite awhile are doing their best to refrain from posting anything weight related here because we do have several members here that have or have had eating disorders. Not to mention that the subject of obsessing over weight gain in pregnancy is a hot topic that is better avoided. The point is, every woman is going to gain weight in pregnancy. If everyone is eating sensibly and eating a balanced diet, there's no reason to worry about packing on the pounds, and there is no reason to obsess over it if this is being done. Everyone is going to gain, no one is immune to it. Obsessing about it does no one any good. It doesn't help the OP escape the inevitable, and it doesn't help other posters who are trying to not focus on the subject. Weight gain is a part of pregnancy. Knowing and accepting the fact that you will gain weight in pregnancy is a big part of family planning, and preparing yourself for TTC and pregnancy. This is why when you start family planning, you are supposed to meet with your OB to discuss all of these issues. If you're not okay with gaining weight, then you may need some more time to reflect on yourself and more time to become happy and confident with your body image. Every woman needs to accept the fact that this change in inevitable in pregnancy. Can it be nerve wracking even if you are prepared and happy with your body image? Of course. With today's society, weight is something women focus on constantly. It's not a healthy habit to begin with, and it certainly is a worse habit if you obsess about it during pregnancy.
ETA: When I say "you" I don't mean you specifically. I mean it in a generalized way.
OP, please for your sake, and for the sake of others on this board that do have or have had eating disorders, we've been over this several times on this board that obsessing over weight is a hot topic. Even though we understand that everyone deals with this differently and that it still can be nerve wracking, it's a volatile subject for everyone including yourself. Obsessing about your weight will not help anything. Talk to your OB. If you are overweight, your OB can help you create a nutritional plan, and you can even look into working with a nutritionist. If you have or have had an eating disorder, your medical team needs to be aware of this fact so they can take extra precautions with your weight management and so they can take extra care of you. If you are none of the above, please do yourself a favor and try not to obsess about the weight issue. Like I said, putting on the weight is an unavoidable part of pregnancy. If you don't put on an appropriate amount of weight for your body type, you are going to not only harm yourself, but you will harm your baby. And as you said, it is selfish to think about only yourself during this time. Remember you're not just gaining weight to gain weight. You're gaining weight to help sustain the life of your baby. If you have any other concerns, or continue to obsess, discuss your concerns with your OB or a nutritionist so they can help you further.
I have had an eating disorder since I was 11 years old. It is only natural to worry about weight gain. I actually find it helpful to read these posts, to realize that it is normal for us who struggle with body image. I try to only weigh myself every couple of days, and just make sure I am eating healthily. We can worry about it afterwards haha! I am looking forward to breast feeding, hopefully that will help with weight loss and help me not to worry.
I am going to go ahead and say this is MUD. Poster has 1 post. Did not even intro, just came into ruffle feathers. I have gained about 8 pounds and it hasn't slowed me down any. That's what happens when your pregnant.
People that are concerned about gaining too much weight should be mindful of their eating habits and follow doctors orders. Otherwise, yes you all are going to get larger no sense in obsessing about it. Thanks for the MUD.... not.
If you are referring to me, use the quote function. I believe in my response I acknowledged both sides of the argument. As I said in my post, it can be nerve wracking thinking about weight gain. However, it is not normal to obsess about it as OP put it. Also, it's not just women that gain weight that develop GD. Women that take all precautions and eat sensibly and are very fit and active develop GD as well. It really has nothing to do with preexisting weight conditions. It's how your body's insulin receptors function once you become pregnant. Gaining excess weight doesn't automatically make you develop GD. Gaining excess weight or being overweight only causes your risk for GD to increase 2 percent. It's not about the weight issue.
Also, I'm not even going to touch the whole "this is supposed to be a place for support" comment. This is not a support group. We support people, yes. However, this website was not made with the sole intention to support one another. It is a place for entertainment and discussion. Regardless, I'm pretty sure that my post was supportive of OP and I gave her some pretty helpful suggestions.
I am debating this as well. High possibility of MUD.
Who was referring to you?
Yeah I guess quoting would have been helpful here also, kmorgan09.
I agree with this. Personally I do not weight myself unless the doctor does it at the OB office and as stated in the above post when and if it becomes a problem they will surely let me know. I do workout still which helps me and the baby. Also I try to eat healthy but I don't deprive myself either ( everything in moderation).
This is an amazing time for all of us and we are the few people who get to experience being pregnant/giving birth. Everyone really needs to focus on embracing there new body over the next few months and stop stressing. Its not good for anybody. Good luck and remember pregnant ladies are beautiful!! ( that includes you too).
Mobile, can't snip and bold, but I agree with this last paragraph. You don't have to be gaining an unhealthy amount of weight to be struggling with it. You can also know it selfish in your mind but still struggle with the compulsions. I knew I had a history with ED and this would be some form of struggle but I'll be daned if I let that stop me from having children.
I think you are 100% wrong. Some people just obsess about weight. It doesn't mean they have some mental or emotional problem. I am a healthy weight, and I still worry about everything I put in my mouth and about the weight I will gain during pregnancy. I know it will happen and I know it did happen with my first, but it's still a stress to me.
Everyone has their "thing" and for you to classify that as a mental/emotional problem really rubs me the wrong way.
Oh ChiAmy... of COURSE you think this is 100 percent wrong. Swooping in on the weight related post, I see.
Having an obsession with weight is absolutely an emotional and mental issue. Like many issues of its kind, there's a sliding scale, ranging from very mild to severe. If someone was obsessed with the fear of falling, or fear of small spaces, I'd encourage that person to seek help, for even though the obsession and fear is real, it's unhealthy.
I was not speaking specifically to you. But as a physician, who has practiced ob/gyn I do feel the need to clear up the medical misconceptions. There are those that struggle with body image and eating disorder , and that applies to both ends of the spectrum, be it if you are under weight or obese. There is a reason why the AMA and ACOG have recommendations on weight gain based on your BMI. And, when someone is concerned that they are trying to stay within that limit, they have valid reason and so does their physician who has advised them to do so. And yes, obesity and gaining more than the recommended amount really does increase risks of the medicl conditions I listed in the above post. On the other hand, overly focusing on weight gain and gaining less than the recommended amount, puts you at risk for preterm labor and underweight infants.
Lastly, no one is asking for a therapy session here. But, I have seen many people receive and provide support for others, which is amazing and does make this a place for support.
Completely agree with you, Sooz.
The title of her post says "obsession." There is a big difference between worrying and obsessing. We have daily posts here by people obsessing about weight. It has bordered on the unhealthy many times. As a physician, I would think that you would know that a group of girls that do not know you cannot help you with an eating disorder. It takes a lot of counseling and other professional help to figure out why you have the issues you have and to figure out how to address them. If they are worried about staying in the healthy limits, a nutritionist can help them do that. To address why they are obsessing about their weight, they need to seek a therapist.
Seriously ChiAmy You of all people who's reply to any advice you got in the past was "I'll just ask my dr" Really! You are going to tell us not to go to our Dr! I guess we should all go on the ChiAmy 1300 calorie a day diet so we can be perfect too.
You need to stay out of this.
When I was in recovery at Renfrew a few years ago my psychiatrist and entire ED support team actually made a similar comment, telling me if I couldn't deal with the body and weight changes that come with pregnancy, then I most likely wasn't in the best mind or medical state to get pregnant. At that time I didn't even want kids so I just dismissed them, but it is a comment that is made by medical professionals.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
You obviously can't read correctly..I didn't say anyone should not call their Dr. What I did say is that worrying about weight does not mean you have a mental disorder.
Wow, this is incredibly inappropriate. Who are you to tell people they should not be getting pregnant if the have body image issues? There have been numerous posts about struggling with eating disorders (some very serious), myself included. Just because some people struggle with body image, which is entirely all too common, does not make them any less worthy of having a child. How can you argue that someone's eating disorder or personal insecurity is being rude or insulting to other's trying to gain/lose weight? That is absurd. These are legitimate problems that most often need professional interventions, and most often are treated. They are not meant to be an insult to you, or anyone else on this board.
I also happen to think that having a baby is the best thing I could do for myself at this point, regardless of the past and current issues I am struggling with. I battled so much shiit throughout my life which was always centered around my weight. Trying to conceive was a great step in my own recovery because it taught me that my body serves a greater purpose in life and now I have to be responsible for not only myself, but for my baby. That is motivation for me to stay healthy and be as good to myself as possible.
Even if it's not a "mental disorder" as you so kindly put it, that does not mean it's a healthy obsession. Obsessions in and of themselves are not healthy if they cause you stress or to change your lifestyle in order to accommodate them.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
I agree. And as the mother of a 9 year old daughter, all of you who have weight issues really need to be prepared to make sure 100% that it doesn't bleed over into the way you parent. Because she is a freaking sponge about weight stuff right now. It's hard for me and I have no weight hangups at all. Pregnancy starts the part of your life when it's not about you anymore...time to truly deal with these issues and realize that you are going to have an effect on all around you for a long time to come.
Why is she having a bad day just because she is annoyed by all the stupid posts?
You seriously give the world's worst advice.
Meh. Unfortunately there are plenty of people in the world that shouldn't have kids. I don't feel bad about saying it. I'm not saying it's anybody on the board, but people are more than welcome to have that opinion. I just thought it was an odd comment that she must be having a bad day because she said it. Maybe it's something that really gets to her? Who knows.
I find it so ironic you have that idiot in your signature and you're talking about ignorant statements. LOL Anyway, I get what you're saying. I don't really think you're comparing apples to apples, but it's OK.
LOL Look I'm tired and it made sense to me at the time.
And you seriously are a complete moron.
I went to college about 30 minutes away from where they live...where Phil went to school. Yay me!
I pretty much said all of this in my post.