D&C experience (sorry it's long and mainly anecdotal)

Hi everyone, just a warning this is pretty long and mainly anecdotal rather than informative, I just want to provide a recount of my experience since I found other entries similar to this to be so helpful in preparing myself mentally and emotionally.  I had wanted very much to miscarry naturally.  So choosing to go the D&C route was more a matter of weighing the pros and cons of waiting too much longer.  I've shared my story in previous threads, but we were expecting our first after trying for 2 years.  So excited, we had a positive experience our first u/s and saw little peanuts heartbeat.  Then, at our 9 week check-in, our doc couldn't find a heartbeat with the hand-held device so we went in for an u/s and got the worst news.  Our baby had stopped growing at 7weeks.  Devastated doesn't even begin to describe how we were feeling.  I initially chose the misoprostol thinking that, since I had had NO signs of miscarriage yet, that maybe my body needed some prompting.  Two rounds if miso later, still nothing.  This perplexed my doc and she recommended a D&C.  I decided to give my body as much time as possible to do this on it's own instead, which she of course respected, and helped me decide on when would be the latest I could put off the D&C to avoid further risk in terms of infection.  So, we scheduled it for yesterday, Wednesday afternoon.

I would've been 12 weeks when I went in for my D&C, our baby had been gone for 5 weeks already, and even right up until the D&C I had very minimal signs of miscarriage.  Each woman is different, of course.  By the time it rolled around, I felt ready for it in terms of having given my body the time it needed.  I even went through a period of pure anger at my body for NOT doing this naturally.  But, it simply didn't happen.  I had to forgive my body and decide to move forward.

Nervous about never being put under before, I searched the internet and found comfort in other stories about first-timers, and their experience with it.  One in particular ended with a reminder to be strong, and brave.  I hung on to those words as I prepped myself and my body for the procedure, stopping any solid foods early Wednesday AM, and portioning out my 12oz of water for the day until early afternoon, making sure I remembered all the directions, like only using anti-bacterial soap for showers the night before and morning of, etc.  My husband distracted me during the afternoon with a game of Mario Party (I know...super dorky, but it worked ), and a walk with our dogs.

 Then, we packed up and went to the outpatient center where I was greeted with a kind reception, quick check in and a short wait before being taken in for a work-up with the nurse.  She was soooo kind, and gentle.  I think she could tell I was nervous, on the verge of tears, but she was somehow able to put my mind at ease.  I answered a few questions, had my blood pressure taken (it was high...I was stressed), pulse, etc.  Then, my husband and I were given our own private-ish waiting room.  They had me change out of everything, put my clothes into a bag, and get into a hospital gown and socks.  She gave me a warm blanket to lay over me while I sat and she got the IV hooked up.  It really didn't hurt at all, to be honest.  They put it in my elbow nook instead of my hand because it was the better of the two locations.  Then, we waited.  I think it's part of my personality to feel comfortable in an environment when I can have the time to acclimate to it.   So, when I was told everything was going to be pushed back about an hour because my doctor was called to help with an emergency, I was okay with that.  My husband had brought our kindle and was reading me sports news, and weird news you see these days like the cro-nut black market fiasco.  This really helped, as did the warm blanket.

 We had several people come introduce themselves, our anesthesiologist, another nurse who was going to be there during the procedure, and all of them had to (?) ask if I knew what I was having done that day.  It must be some kind of medical best practice because I had to give the answer at least 4 times.  Everyone was so kind, and gentle, even the anesthesiologist.  Since I had never been put under before, he clearly explained the process and what to expect.  

By the time my doctor showed up, we got to chat with her for a moment, then about 10 minutes later, the nurse showed up and helped me to the bathroom for the last time (since I was hooked up to the IV, it was a little more tricky).   I had read that other women had pain peeing afterwards so I figured, ok, I might as well go one more time without it hurting.  Then, we walked to the hall and I said goodbye & love you's to my hubby.  He went to the waiting room and I went into the OR.  I was ok with everything, it's basically what you would expect an OR to be like.  Reading over others stories helped prepare me for the laying down on the table with the hole in the middle, and stretching out my arms, so I knew what to do.  I remember looking at the clock on the wall after seeing the nurse do the same and it was 5:10.  Then the anesthesiologist placed some stickers on my side and chest and I could hear my heart beat on one of the machines.  He said he was going to go ahead and put the oxygen mask on which I remember feeling like it was really hard to breathe with it on. He told me I could breathe through my nose or mouth, whatever was most comfortable, I tried both but have no idea which one I ended up with because next thing you know I was sitting up in the recovery area being asked if I wanted ginger ale or sprite.  I said "oh my gosh, I'm awake....I'll take sprite, thanks".  The nurse gave me a smile and went to get me saltines and sprite.

My husband came in then and I remember saying hi and that I was okay.  We talked for a while, probably just a few minutes, and I can't remember what we were talking about really but I remember I just kept saying I felt alright, I was okay.  I think I was shocked nothing felt majorly wrong.  My doctor came in and said everything had gone really, really well.  I remember our whole conversation, and I even asked questions about when I should follow up with the office, etc.  I was surprisingly coherent.  I told her that I hope the next time she sees me in a hospital gown will be for a delivery, she said "Yes!!!" .  The nurse took out my IV, it didn't hurt at all.  She was so kind and kept asking how I was doing.  I said "all things considered, I'm doing pretty well".  She said she understood and that even though I was her easiest patient of the day that she hoped this was the only time I'd have to go through this and wished us all the best for our future.  I was happy she understood how difficult this had been for us.  Then she had my husband help me get dressed back into my own clothes and I remember checking the cloth under me expecting to see blood, I did, there was a tiny bit of bright red and some light brown, too, which I thought was weird.  I am pretty sure it was blood that was just old because I hadn't spotted prior to the surgery.

Anyways, I got dressed just fine although I felt a little woozy, kind of like after having a few glasses of wine, but also my limbs just felt heavy.  The nurse came back with a wheelchair and I asked if I could walk, she said no, just because the anesthesia was still working it's way out of me and as a safety precaution she needed to wheel me out.   I must have still been a little loopy because I remember telling her a joke I saw on pinterest that "If you fall, I will always be there to catch you, Love, Floor".  She laughed and helped me into the car. 

I wasn't really hungry, but I ate pho with my husband, it felt good to have something warm and healthy.  I drank a ton of water because I was so thirsty.  I remember bracing myself for peeing for the first time post-D&C and was happy that it didn't hurt at all.  A lot of blood came with it, though.  The bleeding was kind of heavy at first but tapered off once I got home.  I took a Vicodin after dinner and just wanted to head to bed.  I had kind of some trouble sleeping, I woke up all sweaty a few hours after falling asleep and decided to skip on my next Vicodin thinking that my body just didn't do well with it or something.  That seemed to help and I was able to rest.   In the morning I had pain similar to bad menstrual cramps and decided to have a granola bar + Vicodin.  This time, I went back to bed and slept for another 3 hours without any problem. 

So far today, I've felt pretty fine.  I've taken my dogs on a walk, cleaned the house, and actually feel like I have some energy.  Emotionally, I feel okay as well.  I had been preparing for this for so long, that I feel like I adequately grieved our little one beforehand.  My focus now is getting back to life and accepting this as part of our journey, something to be revered, respected, and always remembered.  I learned a lot about myself and my husband during this process.  I learned how to be my advocate when it comes to my healthcare, and voice my concerns, wants, and ask for clarification when I needed it.  Even though the actual procedure of the D&C was really easy for me, I'm glad I took the time I needed to be okay with it.  Every woman is different and I think it's a beautiful thing to listen to your body, mind and heart and give it what it needs. 

I'm looking forward to our future, and am holding you all so close in my thoughts and prayers.