Bad IF Day...(PG mentioned, not mine).

brandykid · June 2013

Hello, ladies. It's been a few weeks since I've posted since Hubby and I have been busy moving out of state. I mentioned in my last post that we were going to take a break from trying because we aren't going to be insured until October, and I was doing really well with accepting that...until jealousy and hurt reared their ugly heads today.

I went to a ceremony at my DH's new employer today, and was surrounded by all these girls (wives or girlfriends of his new coworkers), who are all younger than me and either pregnant, or carrying a little one on their hip. I tried my best to focus on my DH's ceremony, but I couldn't help wishing I were pregnant, too...

Aaaand, the icing on the IF cake...my 19yo SIL had a c-section this evening to deliver her first child into the world. So, I'm trying to stay away from Facebook right now.

I feel kind of disappointed in myself for feeling all these emotions today, especially after all the progress I made with having a positive outlook on things. I even took some ovulation tests knowing full well that I can't ovulate on my own. Sorry this is so long, and thank you if you've made it this far, I just feel a little defeated right now. I hope all is well with you all, and as always, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

RunCC37 · June 2013

Sorry you're having a bad IF day. Unfortunately, it seems that the pain of IF never goes away, and it can strike at any time. Take the time you need to work through your emotions. Everything you said is completely natural, so don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. Hopefully the next day will be a better one!

nyrunningqueen · June 2013

I agree with PP. IF is one evil b***h and we are all going to go through times when we are jealous and emotional at others. I'm letting myself have those emotions because bottling them up will only make things worse. I have been considering going to a support group to process my emotions. Please don't beat yourself up. This is not an easy challenge to face.