Initially I was obsessed with DS only being in DC 8 hours a day (viable only because DC is in our neighborhood and I WFH). After nursing diminished to 2X a day I have been slowly creeping toward him being consistenly in DC 9 hours a day at least 3 days a week. I have 7:30 AM calls and 4:30 PM calls. I declined these previously, with the permission of my boss, but now need to get back into the swing of things. I feel somewhat guilty, as sometimes on these days I also throw in some laundry, clean up one of the kids' rooms, etc. I end up working 9-10 hours a day total between mornings before the kids are up and evenings after they are down. I just cannot shake the feeling that I should still be rushing to get him. Some days I COULD finish at 3 and work more at night - but I generally do not. Par of that is related to DS' schedule - picking up early interrupts nap or snack, both of which displease DS.
So really, this is two questions....if you have flexibility, do you use it? How do you set up the balance between work (which gladly fills every hour I do not make available)....and life? I feel like I work constantly, and when I am not working am rushing through kid craziness like dinner, bath, outside play, etc.
And how long is your child in DC each day?
Re: How Many Hours a Day in Day Care? + Flexibility
My child is in daycare 10 hours a day, sometimes 10 and a half.
When I was nursing I left work immediately to go get her, but now that I'm done nursing I stay longer to wrap things up so I don't have to bring much/anything home. I also signed on to teach afterschool classes which keep me at work an extra hour and a half. The money is good and it doesn't really change our schedule because DD and I wait or run errands until we have to pick DH up. It is what it is.
When we get home we are running through child craziness too. I keep dinner simple (but I do prepare something fresh/reheat something I prepared in advance every night), she gets a bath most nights and DH and I share the chores.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Will baby #3 be another girl?
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The bit about it being "their time" really hits home for me. I need to think of it as....If I work until 5, but then I feel good not checking in with work until after DS and the girls are in bed, that's a huge payoff. I am hoping that after we move and I have an actual home office (now I use the kitchen table or dining room table) that I can switch off more. It's too tempting when DS is happily playing with cars to just "log on for a minute". Working 30 minutes more and wrapping up tasks, being there until 6 ET, might give me MORE flexibility in the evening hours. And when I start back to work at 8:30 or so I will be fresh and ready to work another hour or two because I have had a break from it. I need to get this through my head.
A typical day for us is 7-4. Some days H gets there by 3, but it really irritates me if he wakes DD up. We have lots of flexibility. If we're going to be late, I just text DCP and let her know.
I hated the craziness of rushing through. I felt like the only time I got to spend with DD was doing the crappy stuff--dinner and bath time--and never got to enjoy her. I reduced my hours just to 33 and it's made a huge difference for the whole family.
I have some flexibility but definitely take advantage of daycare some days. I will come home and clean, or watch a show, get some work done, laundry, even a quick nap. It is not a lot but I would say a day or two. That way as soon as he gets home we can just play, eat dinner, have a bath and some snuggles, instead of my doing work, cleaning, etc.
I think it is smart and needed...I even take a day off from work and still drop my son off every once in a great while and spend the day alone. I am very happy mom, which makes my kid a happy kid and me super patient.
I do not have flexibility in my schedule. DS is in daycare 11 hours on days I do dropoff and pickup (2 days/week) and 8.5 hours the days DH does pickup and I drop off.
Daycare is near home, so when you add in my commute and my forced hour lunch, it's a long day for DS.
DS is in daycare from 6:30 to 4, so about 9.5 hours. DH drops off so that I can go to work early and leave early. I do pick ups. Sometimes I'm there earlier but rarely later.
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Trying for #1 since May 2010 l DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011
IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks
November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!
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Trying for #2
FET #1 - October '13 - c/p l FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled l FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN
~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~
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Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14
We normally drop DD off at daycare around 8am and pick her up around 4:45pm, so almost 9 hours. I WFH and have some flexibility depending on the day. I admit, there are days I could pick up DD earlier, but if I get a break...I can clean, do laundry, mow the lawn, prep for dinner. That way, when DD gets home, I have nothing to do but spend time with her.
I also admit that DH and I have taken PTO and sent DD to daycare....that means a full day of getting crap done around the house or doing errands DD would hate doing on the weekends.
She has fun at daycare so I've stopped feeling guilty about it.
Our daughter spends about 8 hours/day, 4 days per weeks. Myself and my husband work in the same department in the same company. He work 6 days a week and I only work 4 days per week. He doesn't always work 6 days but we are extra busy here right now. I work from 5:30 until 3:45 and he works from 9:00 until 8:30 (depending on how much work he has to do). So he does mornings with her and I do evenings (Monday thru Thursday). We do this so she has less time in daycare. Plus my husband loves his morning time with her, just the two of them. I do get sad that I leave before she wakes but it is what we feel is best and it works quite well. However the 4 am wakeups get tiring by weeks end lol!
I totally get the work then rushing! Our evenings are crazy! I pick her up at 4, give her a snack, during that time I prepare dinner. While it is cooking I play with her, then her and I eat. I tidy up some dishes, give her a bath. Then take her and our two dogs for a walk while she drinks her milk and then when we get home I do story and put her to bed. Then I get on my elliptical, finish dishes, unpack bags, pack bags, tidy the house, shower and then my hubby gets home and eats and then we go to bed. I honestly don't stop until bedtime. Thankfully my hubby is a good man, he does what he can in the mornings, like he always empties dishwasher or will do a load of laundry. We work well together to balance it all out.
I swear every night I lay in bed trying to figure out another way to change things up to give me some time to sit, lol. I did sit last night and enjoyed a beer at 10pm lol! But then 4am came fast! lol!
DS is in d/c 9 hours each day, I drop him off about 30 minutes before I have to be at work (I usually get to work about 15 minutes early) and I pick him up right after work. My d/c is an in-home d/c and she is very very flexible. She only charges me for when he is there. So if he has a doctor appointment or if Grandma wants him she doesn't mind. Still, I try and get her a few days notice.
I go home for lunch everyday and honestly I spend 30 minutes of my hour cleaning (usually washing bottles). Plus when DS goes to bed at around 7pm I spend about an hour folding/putting away laundry, doing dishes, etc. All so I feel good in the AM when I wake up to a clean house.
I've just lately gotten into this routine. It has taken me almost 6 months to feel like I can work full time and keep a clean and organized house. It takes trial and error and some days you just have to let things be a little messy until you have a spare hour or two to fix it. And I've learned to be okay with that.
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I definitely take advantage of flexibility if I have it. If I should die, my company would send my family a plant and fill my job. My kids are a bit older though and I definitely notice when they feel my absence (I used to travel for work).
I had to set hard boundaries. If I had to jump on line after bed time so that I could be there for dinner and play time, I did it. Everyone knows I leave at 5 pm and am off line. I started a new job though that doesn't require me to work later at night too. It's amazing what a good company can do to support your work/life balance.
My two are in DC for about 8.5 hours each day. Good luck- it's not easy, but it is totally doable.
My kids are in daycare for 11+ hours a day. It's not ideal, but we really don't have a choice. My commute is over an hour each way and I'm supposed to work 9 hours. So, that right there doesn't work for daycare.
The way I see this is that kids can't tell time. 4 hours, 8 hours, 12 hours, they have no idea. So, do what you need to do to keep your job and keep your sanity. The kids will be fine.
Agreed!
9.5 hours/day
No real flexibility at work. I have to be there for 9 hours including a 1 hour lunch. 20ish minute commute each way.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
The kids are usually in DC 9.5-10 hrs/day. I don't think it's a problem.
I worked the night shift this week. I got home this morning after DH left with the kids. I haven't seen them since bedtime last night. I could go pick them up right now, but I am too freaking tired.