Baby fight with a friend

MamaHanna · June 2013

A little back story- I have a medical issue that causes a 80% chance of infertility. My husband and I started TTC over a year ago and in that time we had a miscarriage. We gave up for a while after the miscarriage but now here I am 15 weeks pregnant with out ?trying? and I could not be happier! I am only 25 years old, which to me is pretty young to be having a child but we are financially stable and have are careers pretty set now so I am confident that this is a good time for us to have a family.

Here is my issue- One of my best friends is getting married and she wants to have a baby right away but her FI does not because he wants to wait till their life is more settled and enjoy marriage for a bit. She is 25 like me but is in perfect health so she has about a decade until she hits AMA but she keeps complaining to me about how she can?t have a baby right away?.ummm hello? Woman who experienced a miscarriage and was told she could never get pregnant over here!

I just kind of got sick of the whole ?Rachel has a baby and Sarah is pregnant and so are you and I want to be pregnant with my friends and Kevin is just being mean? BS that I just kind of snapped. I told her ?Listen, don?t be concerning yourself with having a baby till you are fully done having fun and being young. I was put in this situation where I had to have kids young or never have them at all. If I were you I would be sitting on the beach getting drunk and not even thinking about kids for 2-3 years. ??to which she did not respond.

I know it was kind of a *** move but seriously it was wearing me down to keep hearing this from someone who can physically have a kid whenever she wants. It?s not like she brought this up once or twice, it?s a pretty consistent topic. I am going to text her again today but I don?t know what to say?any suggestions? Am I high on hormones or is she being rude?

notkateanymore · June 2013

mrsashleyk:
MamaHanna:
A little back story I have a medical issue that causes a 80 chance of infertility. My husband and I started TTC over a year ago and in that time we had a miscarriage. We gave up for a while after the miscarriage but now here I am 15 weeks pregnant with out trying and I could not be happier! I am only 25 years old, which to me is pretty young to be having a child but we are financially stable and have are careers pretty set now so I am confident that this is a good time for us to have a family. Here is my issue One of my best friends is getting married and she wants to have a baby right away but her FI does not because he wants to wait till their life is more settled and enjoy marriage for a bit. She is 25 like me but is in perfect health so she has about a decade until she hits AMA but she keeps complaining to me about how she cant have a baby right away.ummm hello? Woman who experienced a miscarriage and was told she could never get pregnant over here! I just kind of got sick of the whole Rachel has a baby and Sarah is pregnant and so are you and I want to be pregnant with my friends and Kevin is just being mean BS that I just kind of snapped. I told her Listen, dont be concerning yourself with having a baby till you are fully done having fun and being young. I was put in this situation where I had to have kids young or never have them at all. If I were you I would be sitting on the beach getting drunk and not even thinking about kids for 23 years. to which she did not respond. nbsp;I know it was kind of a *** move but seriously it was wearing me down to keep hearing this from someone who can physically have a kid whenever she wants. Its not like she brought this up once or twice, its a pretty consistent topic. nbsp;I am going to text her again today but I dont know what to sayany suggestions? Am I high on hormones or is she being rude? nbsp;
You told a woman who wants a baby that you are having a baby, but only because you medically have to and not because you want to? I wouldn't really know how to respond either. Text her and say you're sorry.

Umm...who are you to tell somebody when they should want a baby? You sound like an immature brat who wants the spotlight for herself instead of her friend being pregnant.

doublefiesta · June 2013

How do you know for sure she can have a baby anytime she wants? Nobody knows until they start trying. There's something called unexplained infertility, it's more common than you'd think.

BeachMommy2B · June 2013

You don't know she can have a baby anytime she wants, no one can know this until she tries and gets pregnant and has a baby. And the, if I could I would be drunk on a beach comment.... I won't even touch that one.....

I think you are way out of line.

ktox61 · June 2013

First of all your friend sounds extremely immature. The last reason You should want to have a child is because all of your friends are doing it.

If it was me and this was a friendship I wanted to keep, I would apologize for my delivery and then try to explain myself from a position of how it makes me feel when she says these things. Tell her you understand she may want to have the same things that you have right now but she needs to think about all that you have been through and may go through in the future if you want more kids. Try to remove the frustration and tell her your feelings.

Good luck!

tailanis · June 2013

I think you should call your friend and apologize.

Ark2013 · June 2013

I agree with all other pp. You need to apologize.

golfingdarwinfish · June 2013

Honestly, I think you're overreacting and that the response was a little harsh. yes, she's 25, yet you're assuming that they are both reproductively healthy and that she won't have problems conceiving. In 5 years they may end up wishing they did start at 25.

I understand your circumstances, but I think that you're living in a bubble of your circumstances and not allowing her to feel anything given her circumstances because you feel they aren't worthy of complaint. She wants a baby at 25 - obviously she doesn't want to be getting drunk on a beach and not thinking about kids (as you so nicely put it) - she's thinking about kids and wants them now. Cut her some slack.

I think you do owe her an apology. Who knows, maybe you'll apologize and she'll say she appreciated the honesty and is going to calm down a bit. Regardless of what she says, I think you do owe her an apology.

notkateanymore · June 2013

ktox61:
First of all your friend sounds extremely immature. The last reason You should want to have a child is because all of your friends are doing it. If it was me and this was a friendship I wanted to keep, I would apologize for my delivery and then try to explain myself from a position of how it makes me feel when she says these things. Tell her you understand she may want to have the same things that you have right now but she needs to think about all that you have been through and may go through in the future if you want more kids. Try to remove the frustration and tell her your feelings. Good luck!

Seriously horrible answer.

KFED103 · June 2013

You sound kind of out of line. She's getting married and wants to start a family right away. SO what. Maybe she and her FI already had their "fun" that you think they need. Some people don't need that at all. It's really not any of your concern. Bottom line is they will bring the child into a stable family and it will be well cared for. You should def butt out.

golfingdarwinfish · June 2013

ktox61:
First of all your friend sounds extremely immature. The last reason You should want to have a child is because all of your friends are doing it. If it was me and this was a friendship I wanted to keep, I would apologize for my delivery and then try to explain myself from a position of how it makes me feel when she says these things. Tell her you understand she may want to have the same things that you have right now but she needs to think about all that you have been through and may go through in the future if you want more kids. Try to remove the frustration and tell her your feelings. Good luck!

I'm sorry, but why does the friend need to keep understanding OP??? Why the hel! can't OP try to understand her friend for a freakin' second?

MelAnnDi · June 2013

doublefiesta:
How do you know for sure she can have a baby anytime she wants? Nobody knows until they start trying. There's something called unexplained infertility, it's more common than you'd think.

This.

insertclevername · June 2013

While it sounds like your friend currently wants a baby for all the wrong reasons, you seriously overreacted. You should apologize to your friend.

malamutemommy · June 2013

KateMW:
ktox61:
First of all your friend sounds extremely immature. The last reason You should want to have a child is because all of your friends are doing it.

If it was me and this was a friendship I wanted to keep, I would apologize for my delivery and then try to explain myself from a position of how it makes me feel when she says these things. Tell her you understand she may want to have the same things that you have right now but she needs to think about all that you have been through and may go through in the future if you want more kids. Try to remove the frustration and tell her your feelings.

Good luck!
Seriously horrible answer.  

I agree with Kate. Do you even know wtf you're talking about? Ridiculous answer.

malamutemommy · June 2013

VCGolfNYC:
Honestly, I think you're overreacting and that the response was a little harsh.nbsp; yes, she's 25, yet you're assuming that they are both reproductively healthy and that she won't have problems conceiving.nbsp; In 5 years they may end up wishing they did start at 25.nbsp; I understand your circumstances, but I think that you're living in a bubble of your circumstances and not allowing her to feel anything given her circumstances because you feel they aren't worthy of complaint.nbsp; She wants a baby at 25 obviously she doesn't want to be getting drunk on a beach and not thinking about kids as you so nicely put it she's thinking about kids and wants them now.nbsp; Cut her some slack. I think you do owe her an apology.nbsp; Who knows, maybe you'll apologize and she'll say she appreciated the honesty and is going to calm down a bit.nbsp; Regardless of what she says, I think you do owe her an apology.

Absolutely 100 percent agree with this.

Anonymom9 · June 2013

I'm 24 and having a baby because I desperately want to be a mother not because I feel like I have to. My DH and I are thrilled and just because you'd rather be drunk on the beach doesn't mean everyone shares your feelings. On another note, like others have said, you don't know that she can just have a baby whenever she wants. Any woman can lose a baby at any time for a variety of reasons and its always a tragic thing. You should apologize to her.

malamutemommy · June 2013

OP personally I think you just want to be the center of attention and not let your friend have her own feelings. If you want to just be drunk on the beach and not worry about kids, you probably shouldn't be having children. Just because you have a medical issue doesn't mean you should have children if you're not ready or don't want to.

I feel like this is you right now:

miam4 · June 2013

Oh wow... ok, so here is the deal:

each one see life in a different way. Only because you had to try now because fertility issues and you think that she should be having fun and getting drunk, it is clear that that is not what she wants. I do understand your point, but for example, I never enjoyed going out and drinking until I get drunk. So, maybe thats not her priority.

Now, I also saw you said she wants to have a child because other friends are having them? This is silly! And I would have to agree with her husband to get set first, and then yes start having a child.

Talk to her, say you over reacted because of your hormones and maybe she should talk to her husband and decide that with him, since a child is such a responsibility and it costs $!

KFED103 · June 2013

malamutemommy:
If you want to just be drunk on the beach and not worry about kids, you probably shouldn't be having children.

Hey! I take offense to this. Being drunk on a beach sounds awesome! LOL

greenbeanqueen · June 2013

You were way out of line. Your friend has a right to want what she wants. If you were still trying for a baby after all you've been through I would say she is insensitive but you are pregnant! The only thing I see wrong with what she says is that her and her fi are not on the same page. You need to apologize but if I were her I wouldn't want to talk to you either. You were very rude.. I am 23 and I have wanted a baby for a while. I saw all my friends having kids and it made it even harder. I feel like maybe you don't want kids right now and maybe you are jealous of her "freedom?" Seriously, apologize.

MamaHanna · June 2013

First off yes , I know I over reacted and I am more upset about this than necessary and I wanted to give her a not so ?bitchy? response as I did before and to apologize because obviously I was out of line.

I am not saying 25 is ?too young? but it is young for me because most women in my family didn?t start till 28-30 so it?s all relative. Prior to the 3 of us having kids she said she was not interested in having kids till 28 at the earliest.

Yes I am having a baby at this age because I medically had to? BUT I am doing that because I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. My biggest fear in life was never being able to have a baby because it?s what I have always wanted more than anything and with what I have I could go through menopause in my mid-twenties. In a perfect world I would have travelled more and maybe taken a break from work to do some charity work but sometime you have to sacrifice a small dream to get your really big dream.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that she doesn?t even acknowledge the fact that I have lost a baby and am going through a high risk pregnancy right now and I don?t want to hear about how you can?t have a baby with all of her friends. The bulk of her augment focuses on how she thinks it would be cute to all be pregnant together like that cheesy Lifetime movie ?The Pregnancy Pact.? If she had once said to me ?Kait I really want to have a baby right now it?s one of my goals to be a mom soon and I hope it happens.? I would 100% support her no matter her age or situation?but that has never come up.

Amanda7676 · June 2013

You were out of line and should apologize.

snowflake350 · June 2013

doublefiesta:
How do you know for sure she can have a baby anytime she wants? Nobody knows until they start trying. There's something called unexplained infertility, it's more common than you'd think.

This was my first thought. I know a healthy couple that started trying for kids in their mid 20s. It ended up taking them 5 years before finally getting pregnant through ivf. They were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We also had problems getting pregnant with ds. You just never know until you start trying.

greenbeanqueen · June 2013

MamaHanna:
First off yes , I know I over reacted and I am more upset about this than necessary and I wanted to give her a not so bitchy response as I did before and to apologize because obviously I was out of line.
I am not saying 25 is too young but it is young for me because most women in my family didnt start till 2830 so its all relative.nbsp; Prior to the 3 of us having kids she said she was not interested in having kids till 28 at the earliest.
Yes I am having a baby at this age because I medically had to BUT I am doing that because I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. My biggest fear in life was never being able to have a baby because its what I have always wanted more than anything and with what I have I could go through menopause in my midtwenties. In a perfect world I would have travelled more and maybe taken a break from work to do some charity work but sometime you have to sacrifice a small dream to get your really big dream.
The thing that pisses me off the most is that she doesnt even acknowledge the fact that I have lost a baby and am going through a high risk pregnancy right now and I dont want to hear about how you cant have a baby with all of her friends. The bulk of nbsp;her augment focuses on how she thinks it would be cute to all be pregnant together like that cheesy Lifetime movie The Pregnancy Pact. If she had once said to me Kait I really want to have a baby right now its one of my goals to be a mom soon and I hope it happens. I would 100 support her no matter her age or situationbut that has never come up.

Maybe this is why I don't have many girl friends. I just can't stand the "it's all about me" mentality. You lost a baby and that is tragic. You have a high risk pregnancy. But none of that changes what she is feeling and what she wants. You need to be understanding of where she is in life too. Maybe 25 is old in her book? Maybe she is being immature, but you seem so focused on you that you don't know..

ktox61 · June 2013

Oh my gosh so sorry I had a different opinion than you.

In my friendships I try to understand my friends feelings and emotions and also try to make mine clear.

I didn't realize you knew OP personally and could infer malice from her statement but not from her friends.

As I stated from the information I was given, I believe she needs to apologize for the way she expresses herself and try to resolve the issue by discussing how you feel. Sorry if you disagree!

MamaHanna · June 2013

malamutemommy:

OP personally I think you just want to be the center of attention and not let your friend have her own feelings. If you want to just be drunk on the beach and not worry about kids, you probably shouldn't be having children. Just because you have a medical issue doesn't mean you should have children if you're not ready or don't want to.

I feel like this is you right now:

Ok I am not gonna lie?that is pretty funny?even though it is about me.

I said the ?drunk on a beach? comment out of frustration. Haven?t you ever just came out of nowhere with something totally random and stupid when you were frustrated?

malamutemommy · June 2013

KFED103:
malamutemommy:
If you want to just be drunk on the beach and not worry about kids, you probably shouldn't be having children.
Hey! I take offense to this. Being drunk on a beach sounds awesome! LOL

SHHHHHHH!!!! Obviously, but shhhhhh...don't let the secret out that drinking on the beach is what we'd all rather be doing right now!! Gosh. You're gonna blow our cover!

MarieC78 · June 2013

I get the point of your friend needing to plan their family according to what is best for THEM, and not just because everybody else is pregnant. I think the way you delivered that opinion is the issue.

salsy2012 · June 2013

Is it possible that there's maybe a jealousy issue here?

I mean, it seems like you may be jealous because she has a choice of whether and when to have kids and because of your infertility, you don't.
I can see where you're coming from but do you think that maybe you're upset because she's not doing what you would have done had you been given the chance?

golfingdarwinfish · June 2013

MamaHanna:
First off yes , I know I over reacted and I am more upset about this than necessary and I wanted to give her a not so ?bitchy? response as I did before and to apologize because obviously I was out of line.

I am not saying 25 is ?too young? but it is young for me because most women in my family didn?t start till 28-30 so it?s all relative. Prior to the 3 of us having kids she said she was not interested in having kids till 28 at the earliest.

Yes I am having a baby at this age because I medically had to? BUT I am doing that because I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. My biggest fear in life was never being able to have a baby because it?s what I have always wanted more than anything and with what I have I could go through menopause in my mid-twenties. In a perfect world I would have travelled more and maybe taken a break from work to do some charity work but sometime you have to sacrifice a small dream to get your really big dream.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that she doesn?t even acknowledge the fact that I have lost a baby and am going through a high risk pregnancy right now and I don?t want to hear about how you can?t have a baby with all of her friends. The bulk of her augment focuses on how she thinks it would be cute to all be pregnant together like that cheesy Lifetime movie ?The Pregnancy Pact.? If she had once said to me ?Kait I really want to have a baby right now it?s one of my goals to be a mom soon and I hope it happens.? I would 100% support her no matter her age or situation?but that has never come up.

How do you know she hasn't always wanted to be a mother? You said she wanted to be one at 28, so obviously she has wanted to become a mother. And besides, what if she didn't want to be a mother until now? Why is that ANY of your business?!?! For YEARS I swore that I would never have children. And then I got pregnant. And miscarried. And I realized I wanted to be a mother. Am I any less deserving than you because it took me 29 years to realize I want to be a mother? No, I am not.

Seriously, I feel like you're slicing and dicing this in an attempt to put yourself more in the right and it's not working. Many things above just keep bringing this back to you and how she needs to prove things to you and show you things to make her deserving. It doesn't work that way. She deserves to want to be a mother. Just because in your perfect world you would have traveled first or whatnot, does not mean that has to happen in her world. The more I read it, the more self centered it sounds. Your friend does NOT have to fit into some convoluted mold of what you thought your life would be like or what you wanted it to be like.

I'm sorry you have experienced a loss, but what do you want her to say about the high risk factor of your pregnancy? Seriously, this keeps coming back to you. You seem to have serious issues with her, and perhaps you should just be honest and tell her that you are actually angry about how she handled the miscarriage and that she hasn't said anything about your high risk pregnancy. I'm not sure what you want with the latter - a card? presents?

carnold07 · June 2013

She wants to be a mom. Big deal. It also doesn't sound like her sole reason for wanting a child is because everyone else is. Sometimes people see their friends begin a family and it simply stirs something inside of them. I'll be 24 in July and not many of my friends have kids, and the ones who do don't live in the same city as I do. Sure, it kind of sucks, and it would be great if I had friends who live near me having babies at the same time, but whatever, I'm called to motherhood and DH and I are thrilled. And I have to agree with PPs, you don't know yet how easy it will be for them to have children. As for the getting drunk on the beach thing: not everyone wants that. Some people grow out of that phase right out of college, if they experienced that phase at all.

BeachMommy2B · June 2013

malamutemommy:
KFED103:
malamutemommy:

If you want to just be drunk on the beach and not worry about kids, you probably shouldn't be having children.

Hey! I take offense to this. Being drunk on a beach sounds awesome! LOL

SHHHHHHH!!!! Obviously, but shhhhhh...don't let the secret out that drinking on the beach is what we'd all rather be doing right now!! Gosh. You're gonna blow our cover!

Cool Paradise

contacbb · June 2013

Honestly, if what had been going on for me, told 80% never being able to have kids, prior miscarriage, etc. I probably would have snapped too. I doubt that you were implying you'd rather be on a beach, etc. I suspect folks have come down on you a bit hard about all of that. But, yeah, I would have snapped too and I don't know what I would have said. Sounds like she's got issues with her fianc?, not you, on this matter. Apologize for your behavior, tell her you were out of line because when you went home and thought about it, you were not being a good friend to her and her situation. Sounds like she is marrying someone and their life objectives are not quite matching up. She should apologize for her own selfishness too, if she is mature enough to recognize it.

golfingdarwinfish · June 2013

malamutemommy:
KFED103:
malamutemommy:
If you want to just be drunk on the beach and not worry about kids, you probably shouldn't be having children.
Hey! I take offense to this. Being drunk on a beach sounds awesome! LOL
SHHHHHHH!!!! Obviously, but shhhhhh...don't let the secret out that drinking on the beach is what we'd all rather be doing right now!! Gosh. You're gonna blow our cover!

Wait, you mean we're not supposed to be drinking on the beach....

carnold07 · June 2013

MamaHanna:

The thing that pisses me off the most is that she doesn?t even acknowledge the fact that I have lost a baby and am going through a high risk pregnancy right now and I don?t want to hear about how you can?t have a baby with all of her friends. The bulk of her augment focuses on how she thinks it would be cute to all be pregnant together like that cheesy Lifetime movie ?The Pregnancy Pact.? If she had once said to me ?Kait I really want to have a baby right now it?s one of my goals to be a mom soon and I hope it happens.? I would 100% support her no matter her age or situation?but that has never come up.

I posted before seeing the Pregnancy Pact thing... that's kind of weird.

ktox61 · June 2013

MrsP821:
ktox61:
First of all your friend sounds extremely immature. The last reason You should want to have a child is because all of your friends are doing it.

If it was me and this was a friendship I wanted to keep, I would apologize for my delivery and then try to explain myself from a position of how it makes me feel when she says these things. Tell her you understand she may want to have the same things that you have right now but she needs to think about all that you have been through and may go through in the future if you want more kids. Try to remove the frustration and tell her your feelings.

Good luck!
Yes, the friend is immature, but you don't even acknowledge the fact that the OP was out of line?

Oh, I thought the phrase " I would apologize" was clear in saying she had done something wrong.

MamaHanna · June 2013

salsy2012:
Is it possible that there's maybe a jealousy issue here? I mean, it seems like you may be jealous because she has a choice of whether and when to have kids and because of your infertility, you don't. I can see where you're coming from but do you think that maybe you're upset because she's not doing what you would have done had you been given the chance?

Yeah you are probably right. I feel like she has a lot more freedom to just plan her family the way she likes not the way she has to do to unforeseen circumstances.

Either way I know that I am wrong and need to apologize to her. What I wanted to know is how to approach it after being a huge d**k?lol.

Seriously guys I am not some evil shrew who wants to rain on my friends baby parade it?s just hard after a loss and going through a high risk to have someone talk about the sunshine and roses fun part of pregnancy and ignore that I am really going through something. She is getting married soon and is off in wedding world and I always try to be there to support her when stuff happens with that but hasn?t once even asked me how I was doing with all of this. She is aware that I am even in therapy over the anxiety I feel. We are the only 2 who stayed in town after college so with her wedding and my pregnancy all we have to lean on locally is each other and I am kind of feeling more of the lean than the support.

PS- My friend is still very fond of getting drunk on beaches Paradise

MEP923 · June 2013

I would apologize. You were wrong. I don't even see how she is immature? Because she is sitting on a beach drinking? She is a newly wed with no kids. Just because she is thinking about having kids doesn't mean she should be sitting at home knitting. Like you said, maybe she is just enjoying the time she has before they make a final decision. I have PCOS and DH has a low sperm count. We went through failed fertility treatments for 3 years. (I am 27) We were told we couldn't have kids and 4 months later I got pregnant. In those years I helped friend's through pregnancies, losses, and even an abortion. You can't expect other people to stop their life's because you are pregnant.

tailanis · June 2013

MamaHanna:
salsy2012:
Is it possible that there's maybe a jealousy issue here? I mean, it seems like you may be jealous because she has a choice of whether and when to have kids and because of your infertility, you don't. I can see where you're coming from but do you think that maybe you're upset because she's not doing what you would have done had you been given the chance?

Yeah you are probably right. I feel like she has a lot more freedom to just plan her family the way she likes not the way she has to do to unforeseen circumstances.

Either way I know that I am wrong and need to apologize to her. What I wanted to know is how to approach it after being a huge d**k?lol.

Seriously guys I am not some evil shrew who wants to rain on my friends baby parade it?s just hard after a loss and going through a high risk to have someone talk about the sunshine and roses fun part of pregnancy and ignore that I am really going through something. She is getting married soon and is off in wedding world and I always try to be there to support her when stuff happens with that but hasn?t once even asked me how I was doing with all of this. She is aware that I am even in therapy over the anxiety I feel. We are the only 2 who stayed in town after college so with her wedding and my pregnancy all we have to lean on locally is each other and I am kind of feeling more of the lean than the support.

PS- My friend is still very fond of getting drunk on beaches

PP wrote you this and I was wondering if this is the root of the problem:

You seem to have serious issues with her, and perhaps you should just be honest and tell her that you are actually angry about how she handled the miscarriage and that she hasn't said anything about your high risk pregnancy.

You asked how to start the conversation.... this is a good way to start. Be honest with her.... Another thing, If she stood quiet after you said what you felt you needed to say, there is a good chance you hurt her feelings. Put yourself in her shoes and try to understand where she is coming from as well.

S90Hudd · June 2013

superspecialsnowflake:
I think you're overreacting.nbsp; 25 is not "too young" to have a kid, if they're ready.nbsp; Granted, it sounds like she's doing it for the wrong reasons, but it's not your place to tell someone when to or not to have a kid.nbsp; And while I understand the plight of infertility, the good news is that you're now pregnant.nbsp; Yay!nbsp; You can't go snapping at everyone who wants to have a kid. nbsp; Time to start the healing process.

This. She has every right to want a baby and become a mother. If I wanted so badly to become a mother but my husband said no I'd be upset too. She has every right to upset, and just because she doesn't have serious health issues does not mean she can get pregnant right away. Even healthy women can take a long time to get pregnant. I think you were out of line and were wrong to judge her. BTW, congrats on your pregnancy. It's a very exciting time, but try to remember that other women deserve to feel the happiness of being pregnant too.

MEP923 · June 2013

superspecialsnowflake:
MamaHanna:

I am not saying 25 is ?too young? but it is young for me because most women in my family didn?t start till 28-30 so it?s all relative. Prior to the 3 of us having kids she said she was not interested in having kids till 28 at the earliest.
[...]

The thing that pisses me off the most is that she doesn?t even acknowledge the fact that I have lost a baby and am going through a high risk pregnancy right now and I don?t want to hear about how you can?t have a baby with all of her friends.

Seriously no offense, but it sounds like you're both a bit self absorbed. She's in her world of wanting to have a baby. You're in your world of worry about your pregnancy and she's in her world of wanting to have kids for arguably the wrong reason. You both have growing to do.
That being said, you need to stop worrying about other people and their motives and family planning. To each her own.

I feel like we may not be hearing the whole story on this. Are you sure she doesn't want kids for more reasons but thinks the fact that her friends are all having babies too right now is an added bonus? Either way it is nobody's business besides her and her husband when they decide to have children.

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