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Toddlers: 24 Months+
muttpups
member
Sibling Age Gap
muttpups
member
What is the age gap between your LOs? What are some pros and cons of the age gap? Our DS is 25 months and I go back and forth about when to try to have another one. I always wanted our LOs to be fairly close in age, but that just hasn't been in the cards for us so far. My brother and I were almost 6 years apart and were very different growing up and didn't really have a close relationship. Even as adults we are not very close. I'm sure that is not how it is in every family, but it is something I think about.
I'm just looking for some pros and cons that you see with your LOs being close or far apart in age.
TIA!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sibling Age Gap
DD and DS are almost 3.5 years apart, but in my experience, being close in age does not necessarily mean siblings will be good friends. DH and BIL are 16 months apart, but they aren't that close. I'm much closer to my sister even though we are 6 years apart. My brother and I are only 2 years apart, but we don't have much in common at all.
It's too early to tell with DD and DS because DS is only 3 weeks, but it's nice that DD is a little older because she is more independent, likes to "help" with her little brother, and she's accepting of the fact that I need to take care of the baby.
If we have a third that will be a wait and see approach.
Dh and his sis are 18 months apart and have never gotten along. The younger boys are each 4 years apart and believe it or not the closet subs are the 2 who are 10 years apart in age.
Now my sis and I are 2.5 yrs apart. We get along pretty well but aren't super super close.
I think it's a fallacy to equate sibling age with how close they will be. It depends more on the siblings' personalities imo.
From what I've read, a three to four year age gap is best for the parents and overall stress of the family when the kiddos are young. We're TTC now for a three and half year age gap.
i do think its a fallacy that kids closely spaced will be close, but I do think it has a significant impact on the dynamic of their relationship in early childhood. My niece and nephew are 4.5 years apart and their sibling relationship is a whole lot different than my kids who are 12.5 months apart. My niece is soon to be in third grade and my nephew is in preschool. They have very different interests and my sil finds it a challenge to manage kids who live in very different worlds. I'm sure it will balance out later in childhood and her kids may have a far better relationship than my kids will in adulthood but it was definitely something that factored into our decision of how to space our kids.
2.5 years almost to the day.
I wouldn't want it any longer but I kind of wish now that we had tried earlier to get them closer to 2 years. DH and I think 2 years is perfect but we got close to that. Our DS 5 and DD 2.5 are best friends. They look out for each other, enjoy the same toys, movies, friends etc.
I am close to both of my sisters-one is 2 years older and the other is 6 years younger.
Our girls are 1.5 years apart and while it was very hard for the first 6 months, I love that they are close enough that they have a lot in common. If we have a 3rd, we will probably go for a 2.5 year age gap because the older two will be a lot easier by then.
DS turned 3 < 2 weeks after DS2 was born.
Pros - DS1 is great with his brother, is really helpful. He is pretty independent, so he can keep himself entertained reading books in his room forever or playing with his trains. He's PT (except at night) so there's only 1 kid's diapers to change.
Cons - 3yos can suck. :P Although DS1 is great with his brother, he can be very, very difficult (to say the least) with us. That alone can be hard when having a new baby, and it's a lot harder to get routines, etc. down or just to DO things because DS1 is very opinionated and can be extremely defiant. I also feel like it's hard going back to living in 2 hour blocks, after having it pretty easy with DS1 and being in a consistent routine (and being able to easily go places most any time of day) for a while. And it will be a while before they can really play together.
Mine are 14 years apart. We were one & done until I had a BC failure. I know it will be years before DS1 & DS2 have anything in common & for DH & I it is like raising 2 only children.
I am 2 years older than one brother & we have always been pretty close. I am 7 years older than my second brother & I was 19 or 20 before I really had much of a relationship with him. He still seems like an alien to me sometimes because he is so different than I am.
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
This makes me happy to hear. DD and the new baby will be 3.5 years apart. At first it made me nervous thinking they would be too far apart, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it will work out well.
And as for a perfect age gap and being close, my sister and I were 3 years apart and never were close. Even now. DH and his brother are 2 years apart and were super close growing up, and are pretty close now too.
Our girls will be 27m apart. The exact difference that I was with my brother and we dug it. We wanted them no more than 2.5y apart and it worked out. If we have a third, the difference between DD2 and #3 will be 3-4 years.
I am pregnant with #2 and they will be 3 years apart..DS 1/10 EDD 1/22...this was a little later than we planned but I've learned you can't plan plan plan
However, I am hoping to have one out of diapers:)
my read shelf:
DS and DD are 2 years and 20 days apart. I'm now pregnant with our third, and the gap will be 31 months from DD. I like the closer gap with the kids, seeing them play together now every day is absolutly the thing that keeps a smile on my face. I will say that having them 2 years apart was a little hectic, so I'm hoping the extra 7 months this time around makes a bit of a difference
DH has 3 siblings, they were all 3 years apart, and he's estranged from them (and his parents, long story). I have no siblings, so I can't comment. My Mom and Uncle are 2 years apart, and they fought constantly from day one, and only in the last year developed a close relationship, so who knows.
I'm just crossing every finger and toe that my two stay just are they are now throughout their lives. I can't put either of them to bed without letting give hugs, kisses, and tickles. I know. I'm very lucky they like each other, lol.