So most of you probably recall my situation. Well about a month or month and a half ago I started talking to my husband again. He has gotten back on the right track and is working really hard, and I got all that information from his family who wouldn't lie to me about it. We talk every day now because we wanted to be able to be civil and friends for our son's sake and for him to have both parents in his life. Things have been going good with the talking. Although, my family does not yet know I am talking to him again because I know they would freak out. But now, he is saying he wants to work things out and try again. He knows he screwed up big time, but he says he still loves me and he wants to make things right.
I don't know how I feel about this. On one side I want to give it a shot because I do still love him. He is my husband and the father of my son so I will always love him and have a connection to him. Plus I want our son to have both parents, preferably living in the same roof and still very much in love. But on the other side, I don't know if I can every fully trust him again or if I can look past this and start anew. I don't want to keep wondering "what if", which I tend to do a lot right now. But I also don't want to try and have it fail again. In the end I want whatever is best for my son, whether that be working it out or not. But I don't know what is best and I don't know what to do. I have been going back and forth between the pros and cons and I still have no idea. I can't talk to family about it because of course they are biased now and still mad at him for what he did in the first place. They keep saying that people like that don't change. But I have a hard time believing that because I have seen people like that change first hand. My father for example. He was a horrible dad when I was younger, and it took him a long time to change (mostly because he didn't want to at first), but not he has changed and he is a really good guy now. So what if my husband can change? Is it worth trying? Or should I just cut my losses and run for the hills so I don't risk further heartbreak?
Sorry that ended up kind of long. My mind is just kind of a jumbled mess right now. Any opinions/advice are greatly appreciated.
Re: In need of unbiased opinions/advice
Good luck and take care of yourself.
I agree with all of this. Please don't make any decision in a hurry. It will definitely take some time for him to change and after all you've been through you deserve time to think and to heal your wounds. Praying for you.
I still think you are rushing, but I understand how hard and scary it is when you are pregnant and you just want your baby to have a family. Definitely stay where you're at, your safety zone. Let him come visit, see how you feel. I wouldn't try to uproot him to CT if he's just getting back on track though. It sounds like it's his family helping him get there and forcing him away from them so soon may knock him off track. If it's going to work, there's no rush. If it feels like it's going to fall apart if you don't hurry it will fall apart anyway later.