Lurked on the SAHM board and surprised

RondackHiker · June 2013

BostonKisses2:
mommymegan831:
I lurk over there sometimes, I didn't see your post but I'm often surprised at how petty alot of their worries and concerns are.  I'm glad I don't have time or energy to complain about the things they do.
I think my head just exploded.

I know. Mine too.

And the nap and break crap? Really? Why the eff does it matter to you if the mom calls a nap a break or not and if she'd like more alone time or not?!

MrsSDgirl · June 2013

robinsokj:
MrsSDgirl:
I never said that SAHM's shouldn't take me time during naps. My point was, if you do take me time, then great! I certainly would. But own it, and don't say I get no breaks.
you're a moron

I don't understand why, but thank you. I guess I need to spend MORE time on the bump before I stir the pot. Must get back to work now. So sorry. Carry on.

mben1119 · June 2013

CTGirl30:
My question is why the f'uck is anyone so concerned how another mother is spending her time? It has zero to do with you. WM or SAHM, who cares. Stop projecting and speculating and being generally offensive to all moms with your ignorant judgments. Not in her shoes? Then STFU.

Yes

missyishere · June 2013

CTGirl30:
My question is why the f'uck is anyone so concerned how another mother is spending her time? It has zero to do with you. WM or SAHM, who cares. Stop projecting and speculating and being generally offensive to all moms with your ignorant judgments. Not in her shoes? Then STFU.

BOOM!

CinemaGoddess · June 2013

MrsSDgirl:
robinsokj:
MrsSDgirl:
I never said that SAHM's shouldn't take me time during naps. My point was, if you do take me time, then great! I certainly would. But own it, and don't say I get no breaks.
you're a moron

I don't understand why, but thank you. I guess I need to spend MORE time on the bump before I stir the pot. Must get back to work now. So sorry. Carry on.

SICK BURN.

She burned you good with that "must get back to work now", Robin.

NotSharknado · June 2013

MrsSDgirl:
robinsokj:
MrsSDgirl:
I never said that SAHM's shouldn't take me time during naps.  My point was, if you do take me time, then great!  I certainly would.  But own it, and don't say I get no breaks.
you're a moron
 
I don't understand why, but thank you.  I guess I need to spend MORE time on the bump before I stir the pot.  Must get back to work now.  So sorry.  Carry on. 

Really? Even with this last response you still don't see why you're a moron?

robinsokj · June 2013

CinemaGoddess:
MrsSDgirl:
robinsokj:
MrsSDgirl:
I never said that SAHM's shouldn't take me time during naps. My point was, if you do take me time, then great! I certainly would. But own it, and don't say I get no breaks.
you're a moron

I don't understand why, but thank you. I guess I need to spend MORE time on the bump before I stir the pot. Must get back to work now. So sorry. Carry on.
SICK BURN.
She burned you good with that "must get back to work now", Robin.

I feel the heat. I do.

RondackHiker · June 2013

shanado:
MrsSDgirl:
robinsokj:
MrsSDgirl:
I never said that SAHM's shouldn't take me time during naps.  My point was, if you do take me time, then great!  I certainly would.  But own it, and don't say I get no breaks.
you're a moron
 
I don't understand why, but thank you.  I guess I need to spend MORE time on the bump before I stir the pot.  Must get back to work now.  So sorry.  Carry on. 
Really? Even with this last response you still don't see why you're a moron?

No, she likely can't. She's too busy getting back to work.

All you SAHM better stop saying you get no breaks. Especially if you sit down for more than five minutes. MrsSDGirl will set you straight.

MrsSDgirl · June 2013

CTGirl30:
My question is why the f'uck is anyone so concerned how another mother is spending her time? It has zero to do with you. WM or SAHM, who cares. Stop projecting and speculating and being generally offensive to all moms with your ignorant judgments. Not in her shoes? Then STFU.

Sorry, she posted right when I did so I didn't have time to respond to that. I'll respond to this, and then be done.

I was only curious as to how SAHM's spend their time because I want to be one. My DH is applying for jobs out of state, and if he can get one where he make enough money, then I can SAH. I see how many women who SAH say how they're so busy, and they get no time to themselves. I can really understand that because on the weekend I often feel like a SAHM. My DH works most weekends, all day, so I'm on my own, all day. I could not imagine having time, even during nap, on the weekends to come on the bump. LIke many SAHMs I use that to clean, prep dinner, and even shower. I would love to be able to jump on line for a while on the weekends so I thought perhaps there was a secret that I didn't know about since the SAHMs here have seemed to figured it out. I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. I wanted to see how the other side spent their time because I would like to be there someday.

mom2pottamus · June 2013

MrsSDgirl:
I never said that SAHM's shouldn't take me time during naps. My point was, if you do take me time, then great! I certainly would. But own it, and don't say I get no breaks.

The SAHM who has kids that nap and gets breaks knows she's got it good...the people who say they don't get breaks aren't lying and not "owning it".

This remark was seriously ridiculous.

NotSharknado · June 2013

Cate1234:
MrsSDgirl:
I would love to be able to jump on line for a while on the weekends so I thought perhaps there was a secret that I didn't know about since the SAHMs here have seemed to figured it out.  I truly didn't mean to offend anyone.  I wanted to see how the other side spent their time because I would like to be there someday.  
 

Yep. I'm not buying the "I honestly just wanted to know and meant no harm" act. Save it sister.

CinemaGoddess · June 2013

She could teach a spin class with all that backpedaling.

Runaway22 · June 2013

Mrs.adambabycakes:
I don't pack my H's suitcase for him. But I rub his back and let him hold my leg while he goes poo.

/ded

chardonnay24 · June 2013

MrsSDgirl:
I understand that there is nap time, but then why say you don't get any breaks? That's a break! Also, I sometime read long posts (during slow times at work, or at home after the kids are in bed) and that takes a LONG TIME! And, the same people respond with very long, thought out posts. I guess I'm having trouble seeing how this can be done all while "I'm so busy that I have no time for myself". But, in their defense, if I was a SAHM I would most likely post a lot more on TB than I do now.

I can't even formulate a response to this. I just...can't. Please excuse me while I ignore my kid and go type out a LONG RESPONSE to a post about how ridiculously easy it is to SAH and how happy I am all the time.

NotSharknado · June 2013

CinemaGoddess:
She could teach a spin class with all that backpedaling.nbsp;

How would she ever find the time.

CinemaGoddess · June 2013

Maybe she could do it during her state required lunch break.

kcisthebombdotcom · June 2013

Kc was here.

mben1119 · June 2013

MrsSDgirl:
CTGirl30:
My question is why the f'uck is anyone so concerned how another mother is spending her time? It has zero to do with you. WM or SAHM, who cares. Stop projecting and speculating and being generally offensive to all moms with your ignorant judgments. Not in her shoes? Then STFU.
Sorry, she posted right when I did so I didn't have time to respond to that. I'll respond to this, and then be done.
I was only curious as to how SAHM's spend their time because I want to be one. My DH is applying for jobs out of state, and if he can get one where he make enough money, then I can SAH. I see how many women who SAH say how they're so busy, and they get no time to themselves. I can really understand that because on the weekend I often feel like a SAHM. My DH works most weekends, all day, so I'm on my own, all day. I could not imagine having time, even during nap, on the weekends to come on the bump. LIke many SAHMs I use that to clean, prep dinner, and even shower. I would love to be able to jump on line for a while on the weekends so I thought perhaps there was a secret that I didn't know about since the SAHMs here have seemed to figured it out. I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. I wanted to see how the other side spent their time because I would like to be there someday.

You seriously have no free time during the evenings and weekends? You need to work on your time management. I manage to bump after DS goes to bed and on the weekends at times, and I work too. I don't understand you.

izzourclue · June 2013

MrsSDgirl:
CTGirl30:
My question is why the f'uck is anyone so concerned how another mother is spending her time? It has zero to do with you. WM or SAHM, who cares. Stop projecting and speculating and being generally offensive to all moms with your ignorant judgments. Not in her shoes? Then STFU.
Sorry, she posted right when I did so I didn't have time to respond to that. I'll respond to this, and then be done.
I was only curious as to how SAHM's spend their time because I want to be one. My DH is applying for jobs out of state, and if he can get one where he make enough money, then I can SAH. I see how many women who SAH say how they're so busy, and they get no time to themselves. I can really understand that because on the weekend I often feel like a SAHM. My DH works most weekends, all day, so I'm on my own, all day. I could not imagine having time, even during nap, on the weekends to come on the bump. LIke many SAHMs I use that to clean, prep dinner, and even shower. I would love to be able to jump on line for a while on the weekends so I thought perhaps there was a secret that I didn't know about since the SAHMs here have seemed to figured it out. I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. I wanted to see how the other side spent their time because I would like to be there someday.

Dude. Everyone's life is different. There is no way to see "what it's going to be like" from reading a message board. Every kid is different. They are in different developmental stages, have different personalities, it's different with one kid vs multiple kids, your personality makes a difference. If your kid likes independent play you might have more down time than other moms. If your kid likes to scale walls you'll be on your feet more. Look at your own life and decide if it's something you want to do.

suv75 · June 2013

Mrs.adambabycakes:
I don't pack my H's suitcase for him. nbsp;But I rub his back and let him hold my leg while he goes poo.

You win the internet!

MammaBear81 · June 2013

CinemaGoddess:
MammaBear81:
CinemaGoddess:
MrsSDgirl:

Do you think the laundry is going to do itself? Dinner is going to make itself? The floor is going to vacuum itself?
My kids used to sleep for 90 minutes-2 hours a day. I usually spent almost all of that time doing all the things I can't do when they're awake, including showering.
I would get about 10 minutes of actual downtime during naps. I would wolf down a lunch in that 10 minutes.
OP, you are a dummy.
While I dont' agree with MrsSDGirl, I think you are being a little over dramatic. It's not like you can't do ANYTHING when your kids are awake. Yes, being a SAHM is busy, so is a working mom, but we all need to learn to manage our time so we have "me" time. No one needs to be a martyr.
No, but it's a heck of a lot more difficult to get things done when they're awake, especially when they "help".
The martyrdom on both sides is stupid. To claim that SAHMs are doing it wrong because they don't take "me" time during naps is dumb. To claim that WMs are leaving their kids to be raised by strangers is also dumb.
This thread is just perpetuating the mommy wars and is a lame attempt on the OP's part to make herself feel better.

I didn't say SAHM's were doing anything "wrong" I said that WE ALL (meaning WM and SAHM's) have to balance their time so they DO have breaks, and DO have time for themselves.

Do you think that my laundry does itself? Dinner magically appears on the table for me? Or did you assume that because I'm a working mom that I have the money just to hire someone to do all that "house work" so I can come home play with my kids for a few minutes, put them to bed and then have "me time" for the rest of the night? Not everyone has a chef, housekeeper,and a lawn maintenance crew, but guess what, we all figure out how to get it all done.

I'll end by saying that parenting is 24/7 it doesn't matter if you stay at home or work. Notice I said PARENTING, not mothering, so if your DH's are "clocking out" when they get home (WM or SAHM), because "they worked all day" that's an issue between you and him, not between SAHM's and WM's. NO ONE GETS TO CLOCK OUT, are we good now?

tinyhumantoe · June 2013

I sit at my desk M-F and daydream about staying home with LO, watching all of her firsts, getting all of her kisses and teaching her about nature.

Around 4pm on Saturday I shut myself in the basement and yell FVCKkkkkk and wash my face with ice water, come back out all smiley and refreshed, and fantasize that tomorrow is a work day and I can escape my spawn. But tomorrow is Sunday, not Monday, so I give my kid some probably-non-lethal non-toy that will keep her attention for 15 minutes while I bump or stare out the window. I swear my neighbor's lawn, on the other side, is LITERALLY greener.

tinyhumantoe · June 2013

justAphase:
I want to take ALL THE CLASSES.

I should have had a kid in high school in order to improve my college performance.

Epiphany # 2 of the day. #1 was that I should start pooping at work (for numerous reasons).

Mjmksb04 · June 2013

EllaHella:
Mjmksb04:
My eyes roll out of my head whenever I read any of the mommy wars/martyrish complaints that typically come from SAHMs, although there are WOH moms who do the same. With the exception of the first year, which is chaos and sleep deprived for everyone, if you aren't making free time for yourself, you need to take responsibility for your own happiness and your life and figure it out. WE all have challenges. We all are busy.
Both SAHM and WM moms are equally guilty of this. It isn't a phenomenon amongst one segment of mommyhood.

Did you read the part where I said that WOHs also do it? I don't use my crockpot enough, my house is still a mess even though I am not there during the day, so I am doing WOH wrong Wilted Flower Stick out tongue

AnnecyDream · June 2013

I SAH PT and WFH PT while my son is at preschool or napping. I pretty much hate this set-up. It's very hard to get down time. When he's taken care of, there's always some work item to catch up on. I am self-employed, which I think makes it worse - there are no defined work hours and no one else to pick up the slack.

I think a lot about finding a FT job out of the house. But right now it's not realistic. I'm pregnant, so if I started work now maternity leave would be a headache. DS is enrolled in mornings-only school, so we'd have to make a major switch there. And daycare is ridiculously expensive in my area. Plus, I have a rotating roll of clients and projects that I can't just ditch. It would cost a lot of money for me to go back to work, basically.

I always wanted to SAH. I crafted this business for the express purpose of having more time with my kids. I'm hoping I enjoy it more as they get older, or maybe as my business stabilizes and evens out. But I'm about to start over from square 1 with DD due in November. So it's a long haul ahead.

I lurk on this board because I envy WMs sometimes.

rjeller32 · June 2013

kbruington:
rjeller32:
taylorunden:
chardonnay24:
taylorunden:
Do the stay at home moms that are so busy have little babies or toddlers? I could see how it's harder once you have a mobile child or multiple children but I have a baby and I am honestly bored out of my mind. He sleeps, eats and we play on the mat or I baby talk to him while he smiles at me for an hour or so then he wants to nap again and this can all be done while watching tv if i wanted it to lol I'm sorry if this offends anyone but maybe you could tell me what you occupy your time with? The house really doesn't need to be cleaned everyday. It only takes 30 min or so to pick up. If baby feels like just being alert and looking at everything I put him in the baby Bjorne and clean, play with the dogs, go on a walk.. I've never had so much down time in my life. I love my baby to death and have chosen to be a stay at home mom while going to school online. It is stressful when he is having a fussy day but my nursing days were usually much more challenging and I happen to only have 1 patient that I'm madly in love with lol
Are you really asking this question? Some babies are hard. Some are easy. Some toddlers are hard. Some are easy. Some parents find it easier staying home. Some parents find it easier to work. FFS, I don't see how this is hard to understand.

everyones allowed to say how busy and shitty their lives are but when someone doesn't feel the same way everyone gets defensive. I'm not an idiot because "my baby is easier" apparently, or maybe I just have better time management. So no need to talk to me like I'm an idiot. I only posted, asking what the SAHMs that are so busy do all day because I wanted to know. Idk why everyone has to be a jerk on the Internet these days.
I think the general message is you although may have an easy baby now, babies grow up. And get into things. And do stupid things. And throw fits for thirty minutes because you won't let them pee on the carpet. Or whatever. Being a SAHM to a baby *can* be easy. It can also be a suckfest of crying and never sleeping and always being held.
Like, yesterday, my toddler tried to decorate our house with items she found out of the garbage while I was bathing DD2. Talk about a mess. And DD2 cries unless she is being fed or held. Then DD1 gets jealous because of DD2, so I have to play with her while soothing DD2.
So that's what some SAHM are "so busy doing".
Just stop.
Virtual pat on the back....

Virtually accepted Some baby's parents these days...

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