Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Babies: 3 - 6 Months
New Discussion

Advice Wanted Regarding Family

sschwegesschwege member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

My MIL is a very religious, spiritual person.  Is always talking about how raising her children in the faith was the most important thing, etc.  Before we started having kids we went to church most Sundays.  It is something I have always enjoyed, and feel centered and at peace there.  After DD was born we weren't quite as consistent, but still went frequently.  Basically DH and I would take turns entertaining DD, so at least one of us could be listening/praying.  Now that DS is here I just feel like when we go to church all we do is color, I BF, etc.  I want to start going more frequently when the kids get older, but right now, I just feel like I'm going through the motions.  We still pray with DD before her nap, bed, before dinner, talk about our faith, but recently we have only been going to church when we are with DH's parents.  

Recently my MIL asked me how often we go to church and I was honest and said, "The last time we went was when you were in town."  Ever since she has been talking to DH about church more than before.  Saying, "Even if you have to take the kids alone, then do that."  "Even if you have to go by yourself, do that."  I'm not the one keeping us from church, if DH said, "Let's go" I would.  We just haven't made it a priority recently.  

Anybody else dealing with pressure from family members regarding religion?  Any nice way of saying, these are our choices, not yours?  TIA   

image




Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers My Ovulation Chart Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Advice Wanted Regarding Family

  • DublinMamaDublinMama member
    I have not dealt with pressure from family, though I know my mother is disappointed we are not baptizing our son or raising in him in any kind of organized faith. In regards to how to politely handle your MIL, I think a blanket statement like, "We both agree church is important, and we're doing our best to get there as consistently as we can. It's important to us that we go as a family, and right now with the two children so little that's difficult." I think that conveys that you still feel your faith is important and are trying to prioritize it, but right now it's just not happening. If she is still persistent beyond that, your DH should handle her a little more directly, because it's his mother. Hope that helps!
    image
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • thatoneredheadthatoneredhead member

    I come from a very religious family. I have an aunt who asks about this all the time. Im not religious at all any more and am not raising my child as any particular faith. 

    Tell her your more interested in your spirituality over your religion. You do better at home when you have time to yourself.  

     

    image
    Report Reply
  • Momof2EsMomof2Es

    Good grief...in my opinion it seems like your MIL needs to be reminded what it's like having small children.  My DH and I are Christians and very involved in our church...I sing in choir and he plays in the orchestra.  But there are times with two children that we just don't make it there and I think that's understandable.  If we didn't have an incredible children's program where I knew my kids were well taken care of, I don't think I would be able to handle going very often myself.  The thought of having to have my child in the service with me and trying to keep them from distracting others is hard to do!  Sometimes there are just things that you can't do with a small child...does she not remember?  I also wouldn't like the idea that she is going behind your back and telling your husband things like that...it almost sounds to me like she is blaming you for him not going to church.  I would say he needs to make things clear with her.  But that's just my opinion.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • sschwegesschwege member
    imageMomof2Es:

    Good grief...in my opinion it seems like your MIL needs to be reminded what it's like having small children.  My DH and I are Christians and very involved in our church...I sing in choir and he plays in the orchestra.  But there are times with two children that we just don't make it there and I think that's understandable.  If we didn't have an incredible children's program where I knew my kids were well taken care of, I don't think I would be able to handle going very often myself.  The thought of having to have my child in the service with me and trying to keep them from distracting others is hard to do!  Sometimes there are just things that you can't do with a small child...does she not remember?  I also wouldn't like the idea that she is going behind your back and telling your husband things like that...it almost sounds to me like she is blaming you for him not going to church.  I would say he needs to make things clear with her.  But that's just my opinion.

    And that's the way I took it too when DH told me.  Like it couldn't possible her son not making the time to go, so it must be somebody else influencing him...me.  The irony of the situation is, before we met I was at church almost every Sunday, Holy Days of Obligation, etc without fail and when got together he started going more frequently because I always went.  I'm going to tell him that next time she says that, he needs to say something like, "Why would I go to church by myself?  My wife is always happy to join me."

    image




    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers My Ovulation Chart Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    I truly don't want to sound ignorant, but could you go to another church with the same belief system that has a nursery where you can drop your daughter off during the service ?

    I am Baptist and that is normal for my church to have children in the nursery,  but I realize not all churches are like that. 

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"