Update and opinion needed.

CLeigh03 · June 2013

I don't even know where to being....it's been a long day.

Ok. The place in Denver can't take my sister until Monday (there isn't an open bed). She doesn't weigh enough to get into any other good rated programs. So, my parents will only accept Denver.

There is a intervention scheduled either wed night or early thurs am. Here are the options:

1. Tell her Denver is scheduled and she leaves Sunday. My parents will keep her on 'lockdown' until then. This is A LOT to ask of my parents, hour by hour right now is a huge struggle with her. Plus, they have a high fear that she will flee or hurt herself.

2. Tell her Denver is scheduled for Sunday but she needs to check in somehwere (decent, but not great) locally until then. This is ideal for my parents but then it's almost like TWO interventions - 1 to get her to check in here and 2 to get her on that plane Sunday. Also, she can walk out at any point and if she is local there is a higher chance she can arrange someone to help her.

3. Not do anything until Sunday morning, have an intervention, and leave for Denver then. Again, this is A LOT for my parents though....and we are really worried about what she may do....like we aren't sure we have 24 hours....

I've never felt so emotionally drained. Any input is greatly appreciated. I don't know what is best. My mom and therapist are leaning towards option 2.....I just want her flown OUT somewhere. Far far away. I don't understand why no one will take her (will do additional research tonight).

If there is another option I am missing please feel free to offer that.

Thank you all for your support yesterday. Seriously, means a lot. To add to this my husband is gone all week (I was supposed to fly out to meet him two nights for our anniversary but that is not happening!) and my two best friends are out of town. I've felt really alone. I talk with DH about everything and it's so hard when he is traveling.

Crossingfingers · June 2013

I am so sorry for the situation you are in. I wish I lived nearby and there was some way I could help. I hope the intervention(s) go well.

AggieDaner · June 2013

I don't even know, but I wanted to let you know I'm still thinking of you guys. You're amazing for trying so ceaselessly to help her. I hope she can see through the haze of her disease and accept your love and help.

smile50208 · June 2013

I don't have any advice but I want to wish you the best of luck. Your sister is lucky to have you fighting for her.

Cheerilee · June 2013

I would wait until Sunday. However, I'd also stalk her and at the SMALLEST hint of harming herself, I'd have her committed at the local hospital until she leaves.

I'll say another prayer for you and your family tonight! I can't imagine how hard this is for you, especially with your supports all traveling Sad

CLeigh03 · June 2013

mlynne37wiu:
What do you mean when you say that you don't know if you have 24 hours? Do you mean that she will try to harm herself?

Yes that thought has entered my moms mind. That and they are worried she may harm them. The only option is to get her out of their home, right? I just feel like it lowers the chance that she'll get on that plane....

mamahawk12 · June 2013

I wish more than ever that we lived close by I don't understand why other places won't take her - how can you weigh "too little" for eating disorder treatment?? That's like saying an alcoholic drinks too much for rehab.... ridiculous. Clearly these are the people that need help the most!

I completely know what you mean about wanting her away... away from the influence, negative encouragement, etc. She needs real help. Now.

The only reason option two worries me is because if she has that bad of an experience at the temporary place, it could prevent her from going to the good place on Sunday. There really are no "good" options here.

Again, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Praying for you, and her, and your whole family. Hang in there, and keep us posted!

CLeigh03 · June 2013

kikimo327:
Hey C-- how has she reacted to interventions before? There's a part of me that says that she needs to be confronted sooner than later, but you don't want her to run away. I'll be keeping you all in my prayers.

Thank you so much. You know, to be honest this should have happened years ago but it didn't. She hasn't even been forced into treatment - it's always just been (at times intense) therapy and weigh ins and nutrionist appointments. She's always complied for those.

bigbootyjudi · June 2013

Alright. I might DD this, but this may be an option. If you take her into the hospital late Friday night and tell them that you're afraid she is a danger to herself, they will place her on a 24 hour psych hold. Since most psychiatrists don't work on the weekends and don't mind the extra cash from her health insurance company, she won't be evaluated until late Saturday or early Sunday. Even if she is evaluated early Saturday, the discharge process would have to be set into motion and that takes hours. If it were to be too early, you could say that there is no one available to pick her up and past a certain time, they'll just release her Sunday morning.

That's how it works at every hospital that I know people in. I'm sure it's different in different states, but I know that legally, a 24 hour hold is standard in almost every state.

Now, I'm sure this would warrant a bad reaction from her, but I think any of the above scenarios would. If I had to choose, I would go with option three. It gives her no time to arrange anything or hurt herself and ends up being one exhausting day instead of three days being more stressed than need be. I mean, on the show Intervention, it's an intervention, then they go to rehab immediately following. There has to be a reason for that. It's the same way with the mental health patients at work; evaluated and two hours later, they go to where they're going. They're not given days to stir over it.

I'm so sorry, C.

ccam · June 2013

I don't have much advice, but just wanted to wish you luck with your sister. I hope whichever you choose goes well. Such a hard situation!

Jnmac83 · June 2013

I've never been in a situation even close to this so I have no good advice, but just wanted to tell you I've been thinking of you and your sister. I really hope she'll get the help she needs! You're such a great sister to put your life on hold to help her. She'll appreciate it one day!!

Sending hugs to you, my dear! Hang in there.

SJandVA · June 2013

I don't really have any good advice. 3 sounds like the best. BUT if you really feel she could harm your parents or herself I think she needs to go some where. Is there someway to get her to the hospital? Not sure what the laws are for admitting someone if they don't want to be.
Is the reason the other places won't take her because of the liability of her being so physically sick because she's so underweight? Like they don't have the medical means to care for her?
I'm sure Sunday seems forever away.
I'm also really sorry your support system is gone right now.

ashS10309 · June 2013

I'm so sorry c. I wish I had good advice ,but I think that if it was me I may do option number 2 if you are worried about her safety. I really hope she gets on that plane for Denver and can start the recovery process! I'll be praying for your family.

latnprincess · June 2013

bigbootyjudi:
Alright. I might DD this, but this may be an option. If you take her into the hospital late Friday night and tell them that you're afraid she is a danger to herself, they will place her on a 24 hour psych hold. Since most psychiatrists don't work on the weekends and don't mind the extra cash from her health insurance company, she won't be evaluated until late Saturday or early Sunday. Even if she is evaluated early Saturday, the discharge process would have to be set into motion and that takes hours. If it were to be too early, you could say that there is no one available to pick her up and past a certain time, they'll just release her Sunday morning. That's how it works at every hospital that I know people in. I'm sure it's different in different states, but I know that legally, a 24 hour hold is standard in almost every state. Now, I'm sure this would warrant a bad reaction from her, but I think any of the above scenarios would. If I had to choose, I would go with option three. It gives her no time to arrange anything or hurt herself and ends up being one exhausting day instead of three days being more stressed than need be. I mean, on the show Intervention, it's an intervention, then they go to rehab immediately following. There has to be a reason for that. It's the same way with the mental health patients at work; evaluated and two hours later, they go to where they're going. They're not given days to stir over it. I'm so sorry, C.

I thought I posted earlier. I think this is the best option.

Mrs. Rohde · June 2013

BlueDevilLady:
I'm going with 3...I agree that doing it too soon gives her enough time to do any number of things. Good luck, C....I wish so badly this wasnt happening!

I agree. Also with what BBJ said. I'm so sorry.

melmarie26 · June 2013

First of all, I am so sorry, CLeigh. I have no idea how you are bearing all of this right now. I'm sending all of my thoughts and prayers along tonight.

Second of all, I think you and your family are totally doing the right thing for your sister by keeping her on some type of lockdown supervision, as much as you can for a 21 year old, until a sit down intervention on Sunday.

With that being said, please know that, if your parents need some type of assistance with your sister in the interim, the local PD and or EMS can initiate the proper protocol to get her to a safe place, evaluated by an ER doctor and then a psychiatrist.

Here in Florida or Georgia, if someone is at risk to themselves or others with any type of compulsive or addictive behavior, they can be placed on an involuntary admission status through the police department, EMS in collaboration with the ER physician endorsed by the family. Called either a Baker Act or form 1013.

If you have any questions or concerns about the laws in the state in which she resides, contact their local police department, emergency room and further social services.

If I can help you in any way, please let me know. PM, FB or email. My heart literally breaks for you and your parents. I am so proud that you guys love her enough to fight her, for her own life.

Hugs Sister,
Xoxox

klp28 · June 2013

If you are honestly worried that she may do something to harm herself, then I think she needs to go to the nearest emergency room immediately. I'm a RN, and I know that in PA, a family member can commit you to a 72 hour psychiatric hold if you are a danger to yourself or others.

I know that seems extreme, but if she did something to harm herself and you or your family could have done something to prevent it, well I cannot even begin to imagine how terrible that would be.

I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. It sounds like you're being very brave for your sister. All you can do is love her.

Manda-Kay · June 2013

No advice here but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family.

jodegaard · June 2013

The other ladies have already given many wise opinions, so I'm just here to say I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Your sister has been in my thoughts and I will continue to pray for her and your whole family!

Buona Fortuna · June 2013

I have a friend who works here

https://houstonedc.com/

I could call her and see what I can do if that's an option for you?

MoFree · June 2013

BPaws:
I am going with BBJ on this one. Getting her somewhere safe where she can be watched by professionals is key. For your mental health and for her. Getting her somewhere NOW sounds like its the key. I am sending love and hugs to you, and your sister.

. Agree with BBJ and BP. Again, I am so sorry about everything your family is going through now. I hope at some time your sister will appreciate everything you and your parents did to save her life when she was too sick to care.

halvorsonl00 · June 2013

I'm so sorry! I just caught up with this. I have no new advice, but a few bring up some good advice, if you can get some sort of psychiatric hold until she leaves, especially if you are worried about her harming herself, I would look into that.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Praying for you and your family.

CLeigh03 · June 2013

Buona Fortuna:
I have a friend who works here
https://houstonedc.com/
I could call her and see what I can do if that's an option for you?

You have so much on your plate right now....

If you have a brief moment it would be greatly appreciated. I guess the kicker is her weight - she is 5'9 and hovering around 99 lbs right now....

They have plans to send her to The Ranch in TN, but she needs somewhere to go to gain the weight first.

I so appreciate this and again, if there isn't time - PLEASE don't worry.

Thanks so much to everyone - I read each response.

LissaLynn0682 · June 2013

I'm sorry your family is going through this. I agree that option #3 seems the best. If you tell her on Wednesday but don't make her go until Sunday, that is a lot of time for her to change her mind, run away, etc. I think having the intervention and saying, "Okay, we're getting on a plane right now" has your highest chance of success.

Best of luck in whatever your family chooses. I can only imagine how difficult this is.

CLeigh03 · June 2013

melmarie26:
First of all, I am so sorry, CLeigh. I have no idea how you are bearing all of this right now. I'm sending all of my thoughts and prayers along tonight. Second of all, I think you and your family are totally doing the right thing for your sister by keeping her on some type of lockdown supervision, as much as you can for a 21 year old, until a sit down intervention on Sunday. With that being said, please know that, if your parents need some type of assistance with your sister in the interim, the local PD and or EMS can initiate the proper protocol to get her to a safe place, evaluated by an ER doctor and then a psychiatrist. Here in Florida or Georgia, if someone is at risk to themselves or others with any type of compulsive or addictive behavior, they can be placed on an involuntary admission status through the police department, EMS in collaboration with the ER physician endorsed by the family. Called either a Baker Act or form 1013. If you have any questions or concerns about the laws in the state in which she resides, contact their local police department, emergency room and further social services. If I can help you in any way, please let me know. PM, FB or email. My heart literally breaks for you and your parents. I am so proud that you guys love her enough to fight her, for her own life. Hugs Sister, Xoxox

Thank you so much for this response - it's an idea I'm not sure my family knew was an option. really, thank you.

Tapthathank · June 2013

Oh CLeigh! I am so so sorry! It sounds like option number 2 might be the best and easiest for your parents - to give them a break. I'm so sorry your family is going through this. I will be thinking of you and your family through this difficult time. Please keep us updated.

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