Ugh. Feel like I'm failing. :-(

Stella2008 · June 2013

I usually am a pretty together, balanced, and happy working mama. Over the last few weeks though, I just feel like I am totally sucking at both work and home. I know that I am probably being way to hard on myself and we are our own worst critic, but I just feel like I am not being the kind of present mother I like to be and like I am constantly letting things slip at work. Not to the point of where I am getting my hand slapped or anything, I just feel like I am being a total slacker and not nearly being as productive as I typically am.

Over the last few weeks, I found out that I am (happy but surprise!) pregnant with baby #3, DH has been traveling every week, DD#2's breathing issues have been acting up which is keeping me up at night, and we are leaving for a week long vacation on Friday. Plus, DD#1 is done with preschool and camp does not start up for her until we get back, so we've had inconsistent care for her which is throwing me off.

I seriously feel like I am at my breaking point, and all I want to do is just crawl in my bed and hide from the world. :-(

thedash · June 2013

I'm sorry! We all have phases like that. My whole first trimester this pregnancy I felt useless and frustrated with myself. Hopefully vacation will be relaxing. Try to squeeze in an extra day off when you get back just for yourself. Sometimes one day is enough to get me back on track!

Manda-Kay · June 2013

You can do it! I had to call my mom one weekend to take DS so I could get caught up on things for work. Still not caught up but I'm in a better place.

Red_Dahlia · June 2013

Deep breaths! You have a lot going on! I always start to panic and feel out of control right before vacations and/or when one of us is traveling for work. Do what you can, then enjoy your vaca!

blushingbride_08 · June 2013

Do that! Go hide somewhere. In the bedroom, bathroom, closet, wherever for about an hour. You sound like you need a break to recharge. Sometimes you just need to collect your thoughts. I like to listen to music, zone out, and drink some tea. gl!

KathrynMD · June 2013

It is amazing what a trip to Starbucks, People Magazine and a pedicure will do for me. Seriously - try to squeeze some time in alone to do whatever it is you do to recharge. Lunch w/ a girlfriend, spa hour, chilling at home alone, etc.

Stella2008 · June 2013

Thanks ladies--seriously, just feeling like I am not the only one who goes through this is comforting. After posting that, I just spent a solid hour catching up on emails and making some dent in the mountain of work I have and am already feeling better.

I think lots of it just has to do with the fact that this is really the first week long vacation we have taken in years (and the longest I will be out since my maternity leave in 2011-2012), and so I'm just freaking out. Plus, since some people know I am leaving, they are being extra generous with their "can you please....before you leave" requests.

The juggling act continues...

KathrynMD · June 2013

going on vacation is such a mixed bag - great to get away but JHC - getting ready to go is such a nightmare.

Last year, I set myself a one week cut-off before vacation, and I just didn't accept any new work after that so I could finish up everything I already had. Of course, I still did things, but I didn't start anything new or volunteer to do anything, etc. and it really helped me leave w/ a clean desk.

laurakaz13 · June 2013

We definitely all have phases like this. DH is on an 8 month deployment right now and I work a demanding job also in the military.

Some days between keeping things up at work, at home, keeping myself healthy/in shape, DD happy, etc. I just want to collapse into bed and cry.

I have a few babysitters/mother's helpers who come over a few times a week in the evening to act as my second set of hands. I also have lots of visits from family although they don't live nearby.

Oh, edited to read that you are going on vacation. Yep, fun in theory, but with kids and packing involved and working up until the day you leave, it is tough! Good luck with it all. Take some YOU time over the week away.

itsmevkb · June 2013

I go through periods of time where I feel like everything is working and then those where I feel nothing is working. I just sort of wait them out. Well, that and I try to do small things to help me refocus on what I need to get done. Like at work I'll step away from my email and the internet for set times and really focus on making progress on one project. At home sometimes I just do the bare minimum and figure I'll catch up later (or, my husband will!).

The first trimester is hard. Cut yourself some slack.

SunAndRain · June 2013

Thank you for posting this. I have been in a major funk the last couple weeks; I can barely breathe. Work is horrid. I feel disconnected from my friends. I keep telling myself that it is a phase and this too shall pass. But it is hard.

Hopefully your down cycle will be short and you'll be feeling wonderful again very soon!

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