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Working Moms
2chatter
member
Compare your Childcare to that of your Children
2chatter
member
in Working Moms
I think this might be interesting....Compare how you were cared for as a child to how your children are cared for now.
For me, my mom stayed at home until I was 8. I had a nanny as well, until I went to school. She wasn't full time, but she was around a lot.
For my children...
DD9 - my mom nannied for us until DD went to K. DD started MDO when she was 6 months old to give my mom some down time and get DD some socialization and activities. She finished in a five day prek between two programs.
DD5 - my mom nannied for us until she was 2, then she went to the DC DS attends currently. DD started MDO at 6 months and ended up in two programs so she went to MDO 5 days per week, meaning my mom nannied before 9 and after 2 each day.
DS1 - started DC at 4 months. He is almost 16 months now, and he is there between 8 and 9.5 hours per day, depending on the day.
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Re: Compare your Childcare to that of your Children
My mom stayed home until I was 9 (little brother was born then). I had play dates once a week. My mom was always busy cleaning...our house was immaculate.
DS started school at 2 months...I think he's flourishing there, because he's a really social child. I also think he's learning so much as well.
Honestly, I think we both had/have it pretty good. I'd love to be there more with him, but I think I have a good balance besides having a terrible commute.
My mom stayed at home until I was in 5th grade (sister 2nd grade.) Even then she was usually home pretty quickly after school. She worked and was in school when I was really little (like age 2), then quit to stay home.
I work full-time; my kids are in daycare. I don't like the situation, but can't really change it.
Both my dad and DH worked/work in industrial type jobs, long hours/weird shifts. DH was able to stay home with DS a few days a week when he was an infant, which was awesome.
My mom stayed at home with me until I was around 7 and then she worked part-time on and off until I went to college. My mom is a nervous woman and seeing her as a grandma now makes me realize why as an adult I'm often scared to try new things. My plan with my boys is to let them safely explore their world as much as possible and let them figure things out on their own before rushing in to help them, as I see her doing when she's visiting with them.
I work full-time and we have a nanny for our twins. I plan to continue this arrangement until they're 3, when we decide if we want to put them in preschool full-time ( at a childcare center). Not sure we can afford both nanny and part-time preschool although that would be nice!
My mom was a SAHM until probably when I was in late elementary school, maybe junior high. Then, she went back PT and eventually worked FT.
I went to a Mothers-Day Out program at our church (one day a week, I think), and then went to pre-school at the same church until I started kindergarten. Otherwise, I was home with mom!
Both DH and I work FT, so our son has been in daycare (in-home provider with 8 other kids) since was was 3 months old and he will likely stay with her until he goes to pre-school. If kindergarten is still 1/2 day by the time he's ready, he'll go to an after-school care program after his school day ends, and depending on my job at that time (i.e., if I'm not working at home like I am now), once he's in school all day, he may continue to go to some type of after-school care program until he's old enough to stay home by himself.
My mom stayed at home until after my first year in college. I am the oldest child and my younger brother was in middle school and my sister was in high school. My mom had to go back to work after my dad was laid off after like 20 years of working at a coupon company.
DS has been going to daycare centers since he was 6 months old.
My mom mostly worked part-time (not entirely by choice) until I was in kindergarten. I also have a brother 3 years older than me. The two of us had various child care arrangements (day care centers, friends of my mom, other babysitters). My mom went to law school when I started K and worked full time after that.
My kids have been in FT day care from 4 mths old.
We were with an in-home provider with other kids from the time I was 6 weeks old until we moved.
Both of my parents worked full-time as teachers.
After my parents divorced and we moved, my mom went back to school and worked part-time. We lived with my grandparents so they watched me.
After that I was old enough to be on my own.
So...pretty much the same situation as we are in, except for a few short years she had family support nearby.
My grandma watched me until I started preschool. Which was ... interesting, since she was starting to display signs of Alzheimers around that time. When I started (full-day) preschool at age 3, my parents would drop me off at my grandparents house and grandpa would drive me to school. I can't remember who picked me up. Maybe grandpa? The school must have gotten out at 3, and I don't remember them having an extended-day program.
DD went to an in-home DCP until she was almost 3. Then she moved to a full-day preschool. Grandparents watch her during the day only on school holidays/in-service days (and three of them have to come from OOT to help, so we save that for full weeks out of school).
My mom was a SAHM until I was in the third grade, then she went back to teaching. I went to nursery school starting around age 2 and did other classes at the Y and such, but otherwise I was with her.
My plan for this one is to go back to work when the baby is about 10/11 weeks old and it will be in daycare full time (in by 8:30am, picked up 6:30ish) possibly with my MIL watching it one day a week for the whole day. The grand plan is to work until I have # 2 in a few years (g-d willing) then stay home.
My mother worked and I went to pre-school from 7:00am-5pm. I'm not sure what age I started there though.
DD goes to a home daycare across the street from 7:30-3:30. I currently work full time for a company out of my house. Hours would likely change if I had to work outside of the home.
When she went back to work FT, I was 12, my brother was 8 my sister was 3. My sister went to an in home sitter. Not licensed, TV on all day, wayyyy too many kids.
My mom didn't have a lot of choices in care since there wasn't a lot of options. She always tells me how lucky I am to have all the choices I do and how the boys are in such an amazing center.
I work FT and both boys have been at a center since three months. Of course I would have loved to be home for a tad longer and put them in a center around 6 to 8 months, but overall I am very happy with our childcare situation.
My mother was a SAHM who was a former teacher, and didn't go back to work till my sister and I were in 2nd or 3rd grade. I'm a Working Mom, but I think that my girls get so much out of our daycare/preschool.
Personally I think I'm raising my girls the same way my mom raised my sister and I. She was very involved and did lots of activities with us. I work, but find ways to do fun and exciting things with the girls, and I go on their school trips too. DH is way more involved than my father ever was!
I was in DC FT when I was a baby, eventually my mom worked PT nights and weekends so she was home with us (she was a nurse). It was really nice in grade school having my mom at home after school.
My mom was watching my kids FT before, but 2u2 was getting to be too much for her so they are now both in DC FT. I would love to be a SAHM, but I do think daycare is great for my kids, they love it. I worry about how to make things work when they are schoolage though with sports and activities. I guess if need be the 2 grandmas will fill in taking the kids to their activities.
My mom stayed home before I went to school, but she didn't have career aspirations at that time. She'd been a waitress, dropped out of a couple colleges, then had my sister and started staying home. When I went to elementary school, she went back to school and then worked part-time.
I was already well into my career when I had my LO, and he went to a daycare center starting at 3 months old.
My mom worked when my brother and I were really little. My grandma came and cared for us and my dad was a schoolteacher and had summers off. Bro and I are 11 months apart, and we had just turned 2 and 3 when our twin brothers were born. My mom went back to work when they were 6 weeks old with my grandma babysitting, but she had to quit when they were about 5 months old. Having 4 kids under 4 was too much! So she became a stay at home mom and hasn't had a job since. She was also 30 by the time she had us.
I went back to work when DD was 15 months and hope to keep working if we have more kids. My schedule is part-time (4 days/week) and that gives me a good balance between working and having lots of time with DD. As far as parenting styles, my mom was a lot stricter with a routine with us, which I think had to do with having 4 kids so close in age. She was a lot more lenient when she had my sister at age 40, which is more like my parenting style. Though I am more AP than she was, in that I bf and don't let DD CIO and I babywear and bed share more than she did.
This IS interesting!
I wonder what the stats are on working v SAHM for the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s versus now.
And I now want to go post the same question on the SAHM board.
I was just having a conversation about this, and I found this graph showing 1975-2007. It's a pretty steady increase, but not a huge jump. https://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2009/jan/wk1/art04.htm
My mom worked full time and I was in daycare before my brother and sister were born (I was just over 4 when they came into the picture), and once they came my parents couldn't afford daycare for 3 kids so we had an in-home sitter (I guess a nanny). My parents were usually gone before I woke up in the morning but got home pretty early since they went into work so early so we had all evening with my mom and dad.
As for me, I work full time as well and DS is in a daycare. Assuming we can afford it, we will continue using that daycare for any future children as well.
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
Thanks for the graph! My first takeaway is wow - 29% of moms SAH? It feels like the numbers should be reversed. A deeper dive yields slightly different spin, based on the age of the kids, but even so, there's some strange herd security in the numbers.
I wonder what the breakdown is by income. I am going to look for that over the weekend.
My mom was a teacher. She went back to work when I was 4 months old. I was born in May, she took the rest of the year off and started back up in September. With my brother she went back when he was like a month old. My grandmother took care of me for the first year and then we had a nanny that cared for us. I still have fond memories of our nanny. She was a very sweet old lady.
With my DD, my mom takes care of her now while I am at work. I am also a teacher and I'm happy that I will be around a lot since once DD starts school she'll have pretty much the same schedule as me. I remember my mom always being around. She was always there to walk us home from the bus stop, help us with homework, etc.
I also wanted to add that my mom LOVED teaching. It was really her passion and she loved her job. She loved being a working mom. She always told us how lucky she was that she could pursue her career and still have lots of time at home with us during summers and breaks.
For me, I like teaching and I'm good at it but it's a job. If I didn't have to work, I would totally SAH. This is where my mom and I are different.
My mom had planned to be a FT working mom after having me, but it didn't work out that way. She got 6 weeks of mat leave, and DC she put me in was, she said, just a row of cribs, and she hated the thought that newborn me would just lie there all day. (This may not be 100% true... she has a tendency to exaggerate out of anxiety.) She quit her job as a bank manager and was a SAHM until I was 6 and my sister was 3. Then she went back PT, and then FT, but it was a long time before she was able to get a managerial role again.
Honestly, my mom's experience made me scared of DC for my own DS. I knew I wanted to be a FT working mom, and I was lucky to be able to take an extended (unpaid) mat leave. So I was at home with him until 5 months, and then we had a PT nanny from 5 months - 11 months (DH had an early morning shift then, and so was at home in the afternoons), and then we started FT daycare at 11 months. I realized I had no reason to be scared about daycare-- we found a really good one, and DS has a blast there.
My mom was also a SAHM. When I got to elementary school, she started teaching part-time, so she was still home when I got home.
DS has a nanny. In the fall, he'll start pre-school 12 hours a week and then have the nanny care for him at home.
For me, my mom stayed at home with me until my youngest sibling started kindergarten which meant she SAH with me till I was 9 years old.
DS5 - I SAH with him till he was 3 yrs. old. He then went to preschool and then pre-kindergarten. He starts kindergarten in late August.
My parents were farmers so I went everywhere with them. I was one month old when spring planting season started and my mom put the bassinet next to her in the tractor with me in it as she cultivated the fields. Looking back, I don't think I ever even had a babysitter once (besides my grandma or older sister).
I have a corporate job and love our daycare center. I love the balance I have being both a work outside the home mom and having my family life.
Both my parents always worked full time and my sister and I went to what I guess we would call an "in home DCP" it was basically someones grandma who took care of a bunch of kids. At 8 years old I became a "latch key kid", we did go to summer camp.
I've taken my kids to work with me, have had my mom watch them, and have had au pairs, each childcare situation worked for that particular time in our life, but I have never thought about having my kids be cared for somewhere other than our home. I had an awesome time when I was a kid, but times are different now, and dropping your child off with the neighborhood grandma just isn't ok!My mom was home with me for 5 months (I was born in April, she was a teacher and went back to work in September), then I went to an in-home daycare.
DD1 - home with me for 7 months, then home with mom and MIL for another 3 because of her surgery. She went to a center at 10 months.
DD2 - home with me for 8 weeks, then with MIL for another 6 weeks until summer. Home for the summer with me, then daycare center at 7 months.
Both now at centers/schools 7:30-5 most days.
My mom worked part time, and my brother and I were watched by my grandmother at her house. Then, my sister was born, and my mom became a SAHM.
For DD, we had a nanny until she turned 3. Now, she's in preschool full time since DH and I both work full time. We are planning to do the same for DS: nanny and then preschool.
My mother was home with us until I was about 5. Although she did send me to preschool. Then my father was laid off. There were more jobs for her than for him, so she went back to work and he stayed home with us. This was 1976, so relatively unusual. They also babysat neighborhood kids after school and during the summer for extra money. Several mothers on our block were Vietnam widows so had no choice.
After they divorced, when I was 9, we'd go to various after school and summer day care centers. All pretty mediocre, since the priority was cheap. I was allowed to switch to latchkey in the 7th grade.
I work full-time, happily. DH works evenings/weekends and is thus with LO during the day. We haven't used paid care yet but will be looking into preschools next year.
Both my grandmothers had full-time jobs as well, btw. In the 60s. Although my mother's mother waited until her kids were teens.
Me- stayed with a SAHM who had 5 older (school aged) children. Started pre-school at age 3.
DS- had a nanny (in our home) until 22 months. Then started montessori pre school.
My parents divorced when I was 4... my sister just 1. I have just a couple memories of when they were married. So I was raised by a single working mom. My dad lived a few hours away and we stayed with him during the summer and on some holidays. We moved around a lot as she switched jobs.. so different schools and day cares almost every year. She started out working as an accountant for a grocery store, then a secretary for the DA, and now she has a computer technology degree and works at a national laboratory. She's always been there for us and has worked hard to give us everything we ever needed. She's happily remarried now (going on 9 years) and raising my stepsister who graduates high school next year.
Too early to tell, but I want to raise my son the same way (minus divorce). But the happiness in our home and the total acceptance of anything and everything I am... definitely want to keep that going.