Unpopular opinion?

AshleyShivers · May 2013

Since I can't sleep this evening thank you LO in my belly, I am up trolling this forum as usual. All I have to say is SHEESH man you guys worry too much. I understand of course we all are in different situations, but man a cramp is a cramp. No biggie. Pain in your abdomen, most likely gas. Eat the hot dog. Enjoy your symptomless pregnancy while it lasts. You will feel it later and wish you were where you are now. Indulge in your cravings, things are fine in moderation.

I mean no offense to you ladies. Just merely suggesting that you relax. You will enjoy your pregnancy much more without all of the stress you guys are causing yourself.

Much love.

Don't hate me. Haha.

Edit: Am I the only one? Anyone else feel like sharing an Unpopular Opnion??

genaruthp · May 2013

You love this, just wait till we get to the "I THINK I'M IN LABOR" part.

AshleyShivers · May 2013

genaruthp:
You love this, just wait till we get to the "I THINK I'M IN LABOR" part.

Haha oh man, I'm sure you will see me post something similar in late December. I almost didn't want to post this. Just wanted to encourage people to take a chill pill.

jenalena · May 2013

Love this! I have a horribly analytical mind that always digs into the facts. All these rules.. No sushi, toxic skin creams, avoid cold cuts, no junk food, etc... They have statistics behind them that need to be put into perspective. You put yourself at more risk by driving, crossing the street, or walking on ice!

genaruthp · May 2013

I know it seems easy to advise that. I wish it were that easy. But there is too much information on the internet and I'd rather have someone ask a question while freaking out, instead of turning to Dr. Google. I also think there are a lot of ladies here with a whole range of experiences, and it helps to see all sides of it.

Having had problems so far in my pregnancy. I'd love to just "chill" and go with it. But that isn't reality for all of us here. But that is life.

AmericanInOz · May 2013

Agreed, I eye roll quite a few posts
BUT it is nice to have a place to talk and ask pregnancy questions !!

genaruthp · May 2013

AshleyShivers:
genaruthp:
You love this, just wait till we get to the "I THINK I'M IN LABOR" part.
Haha oh man, I'm sure you will see me post something similar in late December. I almost didn't want to post this. Just wanted to encourage people to take a chill pill.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT THE NEXT MOST IMPORTANT STAGE!

"Baby? or Gas?"

AshleyShivers · May 2013

jenalena:
Love this! I have a horribly analytical mind that always digs into the facts. All these rules.. No sushi, toxic skin creams, avoid cold cuts, no junk food, etc... They have statistics behind them that need to be put into perspective. You put yourself at more risk by driving, crossing the street, or walking on ice!

It's easy to go to Dr. Google but man I just read some posts and I can't even respond. I know we just want to have a healthy baby but I'm not sure we are all considering the stress we are causing to ourselves and our LO.

AshleyShivers · May 2013

genaruthp:
I know it seems easy to advise that. I wish it were that easy. But there is too much information on the internet and I'd rather have someone ask a question while freaking out, instead of turning to Dr. Google. I also think there are a lot of ladies here with a whole range of experiences, and it helps to see all sides of it. Having had problems so far in my pregnancy. I'd love to just "chill" and go with it. But that isn't reality for all of us here. But that is life.nbsp;

I completely understand. I can sit here and laugh now because I know with my DD I made my husband rush me to the ER I thought I was dying. It was gas. Haha man looking back now I can't help but laugh. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and I pray your problems are behind you now.

AshleyShivers · May 2013

AmericanInOz:
Agreed, I eye roll quite a few posts
BUT it is nice to have a place to talk and ask pregnancy questions !!

I totally agree. I can't talk to my childless friends about anything regarding pregnancy. They are oblivious. I'm lucky to have a place to chit chat with all you ladies.

tesskerr · May 2013

I sorta agree.... Chicken nuggets? Fish fingers? Little finger pain? Too much mercury in sea weed?

But for me, it's more this is such an unknown, it's not that I am worried the weird dizziness I had today is BAD, it's more just... interesting? That there are soooo many weird changes that happen, and it's kinda nice to know that someone out there had the same thing? And if I was super dizzy, which is something I would just brush off, but 10 of you said "Go get checked out, I was super dizzy and ..... happened" then that's good to know too?

I think too, so many of us are not telling anyone yet, and maybe our partners are sick of hearing about it! That it's nice to blah blah blah to strangers.

AmericanInOz · May 2013

tesskerr:
I think too, so many of us are not telling anyone yet, and maybe our partners are sick of hearing about it! That it's nice to blah blah blah to strangers.nbsp;

yes!!!! Totally

DamnPrecious · May 2013

I have anxiety disorder, I wish I could just chill. Not in my nature.

peanutmuse · May 2013

AshleyShivers:
Anyone else feel like sharing an Unpopular Opnion??

Sure. Posting things like this is equally as annoying as people who post about symptoms. That's my opinion. Nothing will change. People are nervous and a lot of people have either never been through this before OR have had a loss and worry about every twinge, even if they know it's irrational. It doesn't bother me, I just skip over them if it's just a silly worry. It will ease up in a few weeks.

ETA: In some ways, I find these posts even more annoying. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree that a lot of people overreact to symptoms. But posts like this always strike me as a person believing that they are going to somehow magically change the board or convince others not to post about symptoms. It's naive and misguided. If the symptoms-worriers haven't read the dozens of other posts just like their posts, then they certainly aren't going to read this one.

kschref · May 2013

The cramp questions don't bother me, personally. One little cramp was all I had for my second m/c. The doc said "Its probably gas ." I asked to be looked at anyway, and there it was. No bleeding or anything. So I feel like a cramp is a cramp unless it's more than that and the people who worry about it don't bother me at all.

Kathy4678 · May 2013

peanut+muse:
AshleyShivers:
Anyone else feel like sharing an Unpopular Opnion??
Sure. Posting things like this is equally as annoying as people who post about symptoms. That's my opinion. Nothing will change. People are nervous and a lot of people have either never been through this before OR have had a loss and worry about every twinge, even if they know it's irrational. It doesn't bother me, I just skip over them if it's just a silly worry. It will ease up in a few weeks.
ETA: In some ways, I find these posts even more annoying. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree that a lot of people overreact to symptoms. But posts like this always strike me as a person believing that they are going to somehow magically change the board or convince others not to post about symptoms. It's naive and misguided. If the symptoms-worriers haven't read the dozens of other posts just like their posts, then they certainly aren't going to read this one.

Amen. Not all of us have children already and many of us went through hell to get here. So we're nervous and all of this is unknown. So ease up a bit or it's going to be a long 9 months.

km_md · May 2013

Yeah, it's real easy for someone with an anxiety disorder who's had a miscarriage to "just relax" about things happening during pregnancy.

I agree with peanut, your post is much more offensive than people posting about their worries. Just my opinion.

ena724 · May 2013

Kathy4678:
peanut+muse:
AshleyShivers:
Anyone else feel like sharing an Unpopular Opnion??
Sure. Posting things like this is equally as annoying as people who post about symptoms. That's my opinion. Nothing will change. People are nervous and a lot of people have either never been through this before OR have had a loss and worry about every twinge, even if they know it's irrational. It doesn't bother me, I just skip over them if it's just a silly worry. It will ease up in a few weeks.
ETA: In some ways, I find these posts even more annoying. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree that a lot of people overreact to symptoms. But posts like this always strike me as a person believing that they are going to somehow magically change the board or convince others not to post about symptoms. It's naive and misguided. If the symptoms-worriers haven't read the dozens of other posts just like their posts, then they certainly aren't going to read this one.
Amen. Not all of us have children already and many of us went through hell to get here. So we're nervous and all of this is unknown. So ease up a bit or it's going to be a long 9 months.

All of this. Not everyone has had the same journey to get here. Some of us didn't have an easy route and to be honest I don't like being told to " ease up" because you have no idea what some of us have been through. Just my opinion.

ETA: and telling us to relax didn't help many of us get pregnant and I doubt it will help through pregnancy.

peanutmuse · May 2013

ena724:
Not everyone has had the same journey to get here. Some of us didn't have an easy route and to be honest I don't like being told to " ease up" because you have no idea what some of us have been through. Just my opinion.

Exactly. I totally agree with this.

OP -- FWIW, I don't think you fully considered this aspect of your post. But my other point was that a thread like this isn't going to change anything, and it's annoying that people think it will.

GingerCat20 · May 2013

Well let's see... the first time I was pregnant and had cramps I was told to "relax" and that I was overreacting only to later find out I was miscarrying. Oh, and that happened the second time too.

I'm glad for you that a cramp was "just a cramp" and that it turned out to be "no biggie". That's not always how it goes. It is offensive and insulting you for to tell someone with previous loss(es) that they "worry too much."

Also, and I would think this would be obvious, if you see a post about symptoms, don't open it if it annoys you. The negative energy you expend from being annoyed is probably just as bad as the negative energy someone expends from being worried.

July1215 · May 2013

All of the worrisome posts don't bother me. In fact, I think they are to be expected at this stage in everyone's pregnancy. As PPs have said, many of the women on here are either first time moms, have experienced a loss, or have taken a long journey to get this far in their pregnancy. Sometimes people just need to hear that what they are feeling is normal and that other people have experienced something similar. The posts on this board will change some, but there will always be the "this normal" type posts too.

GingerCat20 · May 2013

peanut+muse:
AshleyShivers:
Anyone else feel like sharing an Unpopular Opnion??
Sure. Posting things like this is equally as annoying as people who post about symptoms. That's my opinion. Nothing will change. People are nervous and a lot of people have either never been through this before OR have had a loss and worry about every twinge, even if they know it's irrational. It doesn't bother me, I just skip over them if it's just a silly worry. It will ease up in a few weeks.
ETA: In some ways, I find these posts even more annoying. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree that a lot of people overreact to symptoms. But posts like this always strike me as a person believing that they are going to somehow magically change the board or convince others not to post about symptoms. It's naive and misguided. If the symptoms-worriers haven't read the dozens of other posts just like their posts, then they certainly aren't going to read this one.

This exactly.

runnergrl6675 · May 2013

When I was a first time pregnant lady I was scared shiiitless and coming to these boards helped me out. Not everyone has a sister, mom or girlfriend to turn to for questions. This is just the nature of these boards and it will never change.

Eta that I agree with some of the above ladies that these posts are far more annoying than cramp posts.

sweetpea2003 · May 2013

Yea, pregnancy is all "dude, relax" until you have laid on an ultrasound table and had the quiet descend upon you as the doctor and tech search for a heartbeat.

My BFF is pregnant and has your attitude. We had to have a long talk because she really doesn't understand my anxiety. But after explaining what it is like to have a missed miscarriage in my first pregnancy, what it was like to watch my daughter squirming on the ultrasound and her twin laying at the bottom of the screen curled up and dead in my second pregnancy, and what it was like to deliver a preemie (btw, anxiety doesn't end at 13w3d) she finally *got it*.

Some people come by their anxiety honestly. They have been through a lot. Telling them that a "cramp is a cramp" or that "spotting is common" is ignorant of their history and experience. Just because YOU haven't been in the dreaded sisterhood of baby loss or high risk pregnancy does not mean that you won't be. And I promise that PGAL brain or PGAIF or pregnant after a preemie brain is different and not going to be cured by your posting about how it annoys you.

peanutmuse · May 2013

babywinks:
Eh, if I am tired of reading the same spotting, cramps, is this ok, etc posts, I just stop reading them. We have lots of new people join the board each day and will get lots of repeat questions. It will be the same with labor pains, with BFing questions, with sleep training, with feeding solids. I hope that some of these mommas who have suffered losses can relax and this it the one that sticks, but I haven't been in their shoes so I will try not to judge them for their worrying.

First of all, it's not just people who have had losses who worry. That was just an example of a reason why I don't criticize those types of posts. Other people worry too, and I still don't judge.

Second, I was completely "relaxed" with my first pregnancy. I still had a miscarriage. Relaxing doesn't prevent miscarriages. Ugh, I hate that word so much. It is misused too frequently.

peanutmuse · May 2013

sweetpea2003:
Yea, pregnancy is all "dude, relax" until you have laid on an ultrasound table and had the quiet descend upon you as the doctor and tech search for a heartbeat.
My BFF is pregnant and has your attitude. We had to have a long talk because she really doesn't understand my anxiety. But after explaining what it is like to have a missed miscarriage in my first pregnancy, what it was like to watch my daughter squirming on the ultrasound and her twin laying at the bottom of the screen curled up and dead in my second pregnancy, and what it was like to deliver a preemie (btw, anxiety doesn't end at 13w3d) she finally *got it*.
Some people come by their anxiety honestly. They have been through a lot. Telling them that a "cramp is a cramp" or that "spotting is common" is ignorant of their history and experience. Just because YOU haven't been in the dreaded sisterhood of baby loss or high risk pregnancy does not mean that you won't be. And I promise that PGAL brain or PGAIF or pregnant after a preemie brain is different and not going to be cured by your posting about how it annoys you.

QFT!

kiki1978 · May 2013

As someone who had cramps that signaled a miscarriage, I'm okay with people posting about their symptoms. It only takes a minute to read and comment if you want. If you don't want to read them, skip over them.

cpm1223 · May 2013

1. This belongs in the unpopular opinion thread that is done every week.

2. I'd rather have people feel comfortable posting their concerns here in a place where we are all here to help each other. Instead this post makes them feel stupid for having a questions about cramps, what they can eat, etc.

3. You're lucky that you can relax. Its not that easy for anyone who is pregnant for the first time, suffered a loss, or been through ivf etc to get pregnant. I've been through a loss at 13 weeks, after seeing a perfectly healthy baby at 7 weeks so I cannot relax until I'm past my loss milestone and even then I won't be completely relaxed.

KingLED · May 2013

genaruthp:
I know it seems easy to advise that. I wish it were that easy. But there is too much information on the internet and I'd rather have someone ask a question while freaking out, instead of turning to Dr. Google. I also think there are a lot of ladies here with a whole range of experiences, and it helps to see all sides of it.
Having had problems so far in my pregnancy. I'd love to just "chill" and go with it. But that isn't reality for all of us here. But that is life.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that if they're freaking out and asking in here, they've likely already turned to Dr. Google...

aessary03 · May 2013

I find your post very offensive. It's your opinion and all, but I think it's extremely insensitive to first time moms and to those of us who have had miscarriages. Women are going to worry until the scariest trimester is over and statistically the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically. I think you need to get off your high horse and be a little more compassionate toward some of these women who are anxious and need some comforting. Either that or stop opening the posts that annoy you so much.

SJ&Beanie810 · May 2013

This is a place where women come to voice their joys and concerns. There are many women on this board who have gone through a lot to get pregnant and they have every right to post their worries and try to find some support.

TNgoldengirl · May 2013

IMO it's helpful to see all the posts. Even if some are silly, I feel like all the side effects of pregnancy have been mentioned and its comforting to know others are going through the same. I would have loved to have that support with my first. And a cramp is not always "just a cramp." Lets hope so, but last time I had cramps, it led to an awful week of disappointing u/s's and my daughter not having a new sibling as soon as we thought.

goldenB · May 2013

i just want to echo everyone else's sentiments to your post...
it's not a big deal reading about other people's symptoms because sometimes i just come on the forum and read the posts and they give me reassurance that i am not the only one who might be feeling a certain way....you know that saying 'there is strength in numbers'...i guess it's a bonding experience, to know that someone else is going through the exact thing i am.
i sincerely hope that you didn't mean any offense with your post, but many of us have gone through life altering events after the loss of our child(ren).

just some food for thought, 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all'.

peace.

Deblondie1 · May 2013

sweetpea2003:
Yea, pregnancy is all "dude, relax" until you have laid on an ultrasound table and had the quiet descend upon you as the doctor and tech search for a heartbeat.
My BFF is pregnant and has your attitude. We had to have a long talk because she really doesn't understand my anxiety. But after explaining what it is like to have a missed miscarriage in my first pregnancy, what it was like to watch my daughter squirming on the ultrasound and her twin laying at the bottom of the screen curled up and dead in my second pregnancy, and what it was like to deliver a preemie (btw, anxiety doesn't end at 13w3d) she finally *got it*.
Some people come by their anxiety honestly. They have been through a lot. Telling them that a "cramp is a cramp" or that "spotting is common" is ignorant of their history and experience. Just because YOU haven't been in the dreaded sisterhood of baby loss or high risk pregnancy does not mean that you won't be. And I promise that PGAL brain or PGAIF or pregnant after a preemie brain is different and not going to be cured by your posting about how it annoys you.

This. All of this for me. Every stage of this pregnancy gives me anxiety, from the potential for another loss to the potential for another micro-preemie. It would appear you have not only an unpopluar opinion but also an offensive one. Take a moment to attempt to empathize with others before posting something as misguided next time.

aessary03 · May 2013

Deblondie1:
sweetpea2003:
Yea, pregnancy is all "dude, relax" until you have laid on an ultrasound table and had the quiet descend upon you as the doctor and tech search for a heartbeat.
My BFF is pregnant and has your attitude. We had to have a long talk because she really doesn't understand my anxiety. But after explaining what it is like to have a missed miscarriage in my first pregnancy, what it was like to watch my daughter squirming on the ultrasound and her twin laying at the bottom of the screen curled up and dead in my second pregnancy, and what it was like to deliver a preemie (btw, anxiety doesn't end at 13w3d) she finally *got it*.
Some people come by their anxiety honestly. They have been through a lot. Telling them that a "cramp is a cramp" or that "spotting is common" is ignorant of their history and experience. Just because YOU haven't been in the dreaded sisterhood of baby loss or high risk pregnancy does not mean that you won't be. And I promise that PGAL brain or PGAIF or pregnant after a preemie brain is different and not going to be cured by your posting about how it annoys you.

This. All of this for me. Every stage of this pregnancy gives me anxiety, from the potential for another loss to the potential for another micro-preemie. It would appear you have not only an unpopluar opinion but also an offensive one. Take a moment to attempt to empathize with others before posting something as misguided next time.

Out of curiosity, how big was your little girl at birth? I have an Emma and she was 1lb 13oz. It is terrifying that we could have another tiny one.

LexGator · May 2013

I agree with others that these posts are far more annoying than the posts about cramps, etc. Great idea in theory -- let's all kick back, relax, and thoroughly enjoy our pregnancies, but it's not rooted in reality. Many women on here have experienced losses, and those of us who haven't are all too aware of the fragile period that is first tri. You can easily not click on posts about cramps, spotting, etc. -- to be honest, I don't because I'd rather live blissfully unaware of potential problems.

Here's my unpopular opinion: I find posts like these or ones proclaiming that you're going to enjoy your glass of wine, eat your sushi, etc. to be smug. Yeah, you're totally doing pregnancy better than the mama who is choosing to forgo lunch meat just because of that tiny risk of listeria. You want wine? Go for it. You want to drink water only for nine months? Good for you. You want to relax and take every cramp in stride? Awesome. But that doesn't mean that your choice is superior to someone else's -- it's just your choice. Own it and move on. That's good advice for motherhood, too.

buckeyebride22 · May 2013

km_md:
Yeah, it's real easy for someone with an anxiety disorder who's had a miscarriage to "just relax" about things happening during pregnancy.
I agree with peanut, your post is much more offensive than people posting about their worries. Just my opinion.

This. OP i wish I could relax, but look at my siggy. Can you honestly say you could relax in my shoes?

Deblondie1 · May 2013

aessary03:
Deblondie1:
sweetpea2003:
Snip
This. All of this for me. Every stage of this pregnancy gives me anxiety, from the potential for another loss to the potential for another micro-preemie. It would appear you have not only an unpopluar opinion but also an offensive one. Take a moment to attempt to empathize with others before posting something as misguided next time.
Out of curiosity, how big was your little girl at birth? I have an Emma and she was 1lb 13oz. It is terrifying that we could have another tiny one.

Emme was 1lb 9.5oz and 12" long at birth. I am petrified of another micro-preemie too. I'm just hoping to make it to to 36 weeks this time.

katyms7 · May 2013

LexGator:
I agree with others that these posts are far more annoying than the posts about cramps, etc. Great idea in theory -- let's all kick back, relax, and thoroughly enjoy our pregnancies, but it's not rooted in reality. Many women on here have experienced losses, and those of us who haven't are all too aware of the fragile period that is first tri. You can easily not click on posts about cramps, spotting, etc. -- to be honest, I don't because I'd rather live blissfully unaware of potential problems.
Here's my unpopular opinion: I find posts like these or ones proclaiming that you're going to enjoy your glass of wine, eat your sushi, etc. to be smug. Yeah, you're totally doing pregnancy better than the mama who is choosing to forgo lunch meat just because of that tiny risk of listeria. You want wine? Go for it. You want to drink water only for nine months? Good for you. You want to relax and take every cramp in stride? Awesome. But that doesn't mean that your choice is superior to someone else's -- it's just your choice. Own it and move on. That's good advice for motherhood, too.

Amen! Just avoid these posts. You are not going to change the thoughts of the board by your UO.

Some of us are not able to relax until that baby is here in our arms. If these posts annoy you, go past it. Don't try to change everyone on this board with your thought of what we should be doing.

LittleMommaBlueHen · May 2013

After 2 losses, one of them at 12w3d, I think it is perfectly reasonable for me to be nervous. I had a textbook pregnancy with DS and I was still nervous. 1st trimester is nervewracking for many women. Isn't it great that we have a place to discuss those fears and anxieties? Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge.

peanutmuse · May 2013

babywinks:
I just wanted to say that I hope that the worry doesn't completely overpower the fun of pregnancy, as it can be fun and exciting. I guess relax was a bad choice of words.

I knew that you had the right sentiment, it's just the way you said it that kind of stung a bit. I thought I was being cool by not worrying the first time around. It didn't change anything for me, unfortunately. But I understand and agree with what you've said here.

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