Getting your awesome back

izzourclue · May 2013

Before baby, I felt a lot more "together." I had a job that I was proud of, and I was good at it. I was a runner and went to yoga. I ate well, went out with friends, felt like a good wife who DH could be proud of. I felt accomplished on a regular basis. Now I'm just a blob. I'm not working by choice but I feel like a lot of who I was was tied into my work accomplishments. I'm not running, can't stand yoga class, have body image issues and just don't feel like I contribute enough to our household. I used to bring in almost half the money. I feel really fortunate that I can choose to stay home and going back to work is not the answer for me at this time. I'm also dealing with a lot of hormonal issues. My period is so much worse since being pregnant so I went back on BCP to try to alleviate that. Bye bye sex drive. Lots of sleep issues which I believe are tied to my crazy hormones. Ramble, ramble, ramble. Just feel like I suck.

All that said, I feel like if I can just start running again, it will be a step in the right direction. Of course there's a lot of excuses I need to get over. I think the best time to run will be before DH leaves for work. I went for a great jog this morning and I think I'll go get some new running shoes today. For me, new kicks can be very motivating. Plus they're kind of like getting a new mattress. You didn't know you needed one until you got the new one and slept awesome on it. DH is awesome and really supportive. He helps with DD whenever he's home so I know I have the support required. Anyone else? Anyone that feels awesome want to share their secrets? Everyone just faking it?

LittleFish1 · May 2013

Went back to work full time with 8 weeks left before our 8 week long summer break. Knowing that and counting down the number of remaining weeks (2) along with my super suppotive DH are the things that have been keeping me from my own personal melt down.

Sounds like the endorpines from the exercise are helpful for you ... after the new shoes, maybe start searching for a reasonably priced jogging stroller?

amykins1283 · May 2013

I definitely know how you feel. It is really easy to lose your sense of self after having a child. The best advice I have is to push yourself to get back into those things you used to love doing, which you already seem to be attempting. If you can't seem to get yourself out of this funk, though, it wouldn't hurt to speak to your doctor.

missyishere · May 2013

I started running this past early fall. I walked a lot with DD just to get out of the house, but it got to the point it was taking too long for me to get enough of a workout in just walking. I decided to start slowly running instead of just walking it all. I slowly progressed, but it worked its way into my somewhat addiction to running. I do live in the Midwest, so I had to rely on someone to watch DD so I could run at the gym. We do not have a daycare in our gym, unfortunately. I faked it til I made it, but I'm really loving it now. Start slow, and don't worry about getting to your former level right away.

ETA: I totally get the losing yourself pp, too. I love my child more than anything, but it was still a tough journey overcoming the feeling of losing myself after having her. Creepy internet hugs.

izzourclue · May 2013

I have a BOB so I can jog with DD, but it's a lot more enjoyable to go out on my own and just cruise and listen to music. I don't like to wear headphones when pushing the stroller for safety reasons. Jogging with a stroller is pretty tough on form. But once I get my groove back, get back in shape and get faster, it will be good to have the option when I want to go when DH isn't around to watch DD. I've been to the doctor and had blood work done. All is good. I really think it's a self-esteem thing right now. Just don't feel worth the effort I guess?

izzourclue · May 2013

amykins1283:
I definitely know how you feel. It is really easy to lose your sense of self after having a child. The best advice I have is to push yourself to get back into those things you used to love doing, which you already seem to be attempting. If you can't seem to get yourself out of this funk, though, it wouldn't hurt to speak to your doctor.

This is the hard part...

missyishere · May 2013

izzourclue:
I have a BOB so I can jog with DD, but it's a lot more enjoyable to go out on my own and just cruise and listen to music. nbsp;I don't like to wear headphones when pushing the stroller for safety reasons. nbsp;Jogging with a stroller is pretty tough on form. nbsp;But once I get my groove back, get back in shape and get faster, it will be good to have the option when I want to go when DH isn't around to watch DD. nbsp;I've been to the doctor and had blood work done. nbsp;All is good. nbsp;I really think it's a selfesteem thing right now. nbsp;Just don't feel worth the effort I guess? nbsp;

I should have stated I no longer run with DD. I find a sitter aka DH or MIL. It is now my sanctuary. I need that time away to think for myself.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Do what you can, when you can if that's what makes you feel better.

izzourclue · May 2013

missyishere:
I started running this past early fall. I walked a lot with DD just to get out of the house, but it got to the point it was taking too long for me to get enough of a workout in just walking. I decided to start slowly running instead of just walking it all. I slowly progressed, but it worked its way into my somewhat addiction to running. I do live in the Midwest, so I had to rely on someone to watch DD so I could run at the gym. We do not have a daycare in our gym, unfortunately. I faked it til I made it, but I'm really loving it now. Start slow, and don't worry about getting to your former level right away. ETA: I totally get the losing yourself pp, too. I love my child more than anything, but it was still a tough journey overcoming the feeling of losing myself after having her. Creepy internet hugs.

Yeah, I didn't even take a watch today because I didn't want to have a clue how slow I was going. Got smoked by, what I assume to be, a high school cross-country runner doing about a 6:30 pace. It's always good to get smacked back into your place just when you feel like, "hey, I'm doing pretty good here!" Oh well. My run this morning did feel good and I live in a beautiful area for runners. Feeling like a sh!t for not taking advantage of it. I'm an outdoor runner. I loathe the treadmill. I used to run in all weather, now if it's sprinkling, I crawl back into bed. blech.

izzourclue · May 2013

I will add that getting back on The Bump is also part of the effort to recover my sense of self. I feel like I need more social outlet and conversation. I'm looking forward to discussing current events, music, books etc...

ByeBabyBunting · May 2013

I think I give this answer to everyone, but have you thought about joining a mom's group? I love my group and I find when I'm meeting other people for an event or GTG it is a big motivation. We do lots of walks and park dates, and a couple of moms and I did boot camp class at the Y together, and I doubt I would have done it without their company.

Titts McGeee · May 2013

I second the moms group. I feel so much more confident now that I have more of a social life IRL. Also, doing some light, 5 minute makeup each day helps too.

LoveActually4 · May 2013

I can totally relate.

Running is very much a part of who I am and I never run while I'm pregnant. I'm just starting to get back in the groove after DS2 and I feel great. Can you join a running club or do a 5/10/half workshop?

izzourclue · May 2013

I do have sort of an informal mom's group in that I have a group of mommy friends that I really enjoy. Unfortunately, they all decided to get pregnant and are therefore in newborn hell again. Newborn hell with a toddler makes for limited free time to hang with me. We do get out every week for play dates and go to museums etc... We have gotten out for kid free fun too. They are great and I love hanging out with them and their kiddos. Nora is super social so she really enjoys get togethers too. I think finding these women has saved my sanity. I've also looked into the local running group but they meet at 5am for runs! Ain't nobody got time for that. I'd have to get up about 430 to pound water and a fruit bar and walk my butt in the dark to the local starbucks to meet up. I could see getting up that early for a 20 miler in the middle of summer to beat the heat, but 5 miles in the winter, can wait until 7 IMO.

izzourclue · May 2013

Titts McGeee:
I second the moms group. I feel so much more confident now that I have more of a social life IRL. Also, doing some light, 5 minute makeup each day helps too.

I've never been a makeup wearer (maybe just a little concealer to hide under eye circles). But I do try to put on jeans rather than sweats to walk the dog, do errands etc...

MrsT0514 · May 2013

My advice pretty much coincides with most of what's already been said, but I also wanted to commiserate with you. i am also a SAHM by choice and aalthough I love it and wouldn't change it for the world, sometimes I can feel a little like I don't contribute enough to the household. I am also struggling to lose the baby weight plus some, and although working out is very much a part of who I am because I genuinely enjoy it, the whole time management part of it is tough. I get it. Hang in there..we'll get it all together again eventually!

izzourclue · May 2013

MollusksWrangler:
I started a yoga class and I'm really enjoying it. It's an hour that I can't think of anything but I am doing and focus totally on myself and my body. I won't stand near the mirror so that helps me feel better lol. I'm stuck and trying hard. I was getting dressed in real clothes and doing my hair and makeup daily. It was a PITA but I felt better and less shlumpy,

Twins must be so hard. Good for you pushing yourself. You're doing better than I am that's for sure. I'm glad you're enjoying your yoga class and it's making you feel better. I've always had a love/hate relationship with yoga. I've practiced for almost 10 years now and while I get a lot of physical benefit, I have a lot of trouble with quieting my mind and focusing. I almost get more anxious with all that quiet and breathing. I guess maybe I need something more dynamic? Looking for that sweet spot. Also, bare feet freak me the eff out.

I would suggest parking occasionally yourself in front of the mirror. It really does help your form to check your reflection and I bet you'd be pleasantly surprised in how good you look.

izzourclue · May 2013

MrsT0514:
My advice pretty much coincides with most of what's already been said, but I also wanted to commiserate with you. i am also a SAHM by choice and aalthough I love it and wouldn't change it for the world, sometimes I can feel a little like I don't contribute enough to the household. I am also struggling to lose the baby weight plus some, and although working out is very much a part of who I am because I genuinely enjoy it, the whole time management part of it is tough. I get it. Hang in there..we'll get it all together again eventually!

Thanks Smile I guess I'm not really looking for advice anyway. I know exactly what I need to do, should be doing, I just need to get over myself, I guess. Commiserating helps a lot. I feel like a whiny baby sometimes, but man, having children can be a real mind *** sometimes. So easy to just lose yourself completely and so hard to find yourself again. Add on top of that the after affects of breastfeeding and whoa, you don't even recognize yourself anymore.

Good luck getting healthy! I was able to get the last of the baby weight off with the 30 day shred dvds. It's nice because the workouts are only 20 mins and you can do them at home. Very effective too. A little easier to fit into the day. I don't do them anymore but they were good for getting me back into pre-pregnancy jeans. Great for toning.

SandiaPinaMama · May 2013

I hear ya. Trying to get myself back is hard. I waited too long last time, so I'm trying to do better since having LO. I've been on a couple runs, but its not enough. I NEED to easy better, but that's a losing battle. My family cooks for me a lot, which is awesome, but less than healthy. I just try to remember that things eventually got better after DS.

MrsT0514 · May 2013

izzourclue:
MrsT0514:
My advice pretty much coincides with most of what's already been said, but I also wanted to commiserate with you. i am also a SAHM by choice and aalthough I love it and wouldn't change it for the world, sometimes I can feel a little like I don't contribute enough to the household. I am also struggling to lose the baby weight plus some, and although working out is very much a part of who I am because I genuinely enjoy it, the whole time management part of it is tough. I get it. Hang in there..we'll get it all together again eventually!
Thanks I guess I'm not really looking for advice anyway.  I know exactly what I need to do, should be doing, I just need to get over myself, I guess. Commiserating helps a lot.  I feel like a whiny baby sometimes, but man, having children can be a real mind *** sometimes.  So easy to just lose yourself completely and so hard to find yourself again.  Add on top of that the after affects of breastfeeding and whoa, you don't even recognize yourself anymore.  
Good luck getting healthy!  I was able to get the last of the baby weight off with the 30 day shred dvds.  It's nice because the workouts are only 20 mins and you can do them at home.  Very effective too.  A little easier to fit into the day.  I don't do them anymore but they were good for getting me back into pre-pregnancy jeans.  Great for toning.

Thanks! Yeah, I'm also a fan of the 30 DS dvd, i have a bunch of Jillian Michaels workout dvds. I started doing Shaun T's Insanity a while back and ended up tweaking my back, so I've had to take it easy for a while, but I'm addicted! Awesome workout and its only 40 minutes long!

I know what you mean about how having kids can be a mind though. I love my son more than anything in the world and i absolutely love being a mom, but i agree with you, its easy to lose yourself in the whole process. And it certainly takes time to get yourself back! Believe me, I'm working on it as well! You're definitely not alone!

izzourclue · May 2013

MollusksWrangler:
izzourclue:
MollusksWrangler:
I started a yoga class and I'm really enjoying it. It's an hour that I can't think of anything but I am doing and focus totally on myself and my body. I won't stand near the mirror so that helps me feel better lol. I'm stuck and trying hard. I was getting dressed in real clothes and doing my hair and makeup daily. It was a PITA but I felt better and less shlumpy,
Twins must be so hard. Good for you pushing yourself. You're doing better than I am that's for sure. I'm glad you're enjoying your yoga class and it's making you feel better. I've always had a love/hate relationship with yoga. I've practiced for almost 10 years now and while I get a lot of physical benefit, I have a lot of trouble with quieting my mind and focusing. I almost get more anxious with all that quiet and breathing. I guess maybe I need something more dynamic? Looking for that sweet spot. Also, bare feet freak me the eff out.
I would suggest parking occasionally yourself in front of the mirror. It really does help your form to check your reflection and I bet you'd be pleasantly surprised in how good you look.
Maybe a Pilates class? The instructor comes around to adjust anyone who needs it. At this point my own reflection depresses me. I'm actually super site after yesterday's class, I'm either out of shape or yoga is harder than I thought.

Yep, yoga is hard. People think it's just stretching and they are always surprised at the level of work out they get. I just don't think I'm a class person. I don't like committing to a specific time of day and being stuck there for an hour or more.

missyishere · May 2013

izzourclue:
MollusksWrangler:
I started a yoga class and I'm really enjoying it. It's an hour that I can't think of anything but I am doing and focus totally on myself and my body. I won't stand near the mirror so that helps me feel better lol. I'm stuck and trying hard. I was getting dressed in real clothes and doing my hair and makeup daily. It was a PITA but I felt better and less shlumpy,
Twins must be so hard. Good for you pushing yourself. You're doing better than I am that's for sure. I'm glad you're enjoying your yoga class and it's making you feel better. I've always had a love/hate relationship with yoga. I've practiced for almost 10 years now and while I get a lot of physical benefit, I have a lot of trouble with quieting my mind and focusing. I almost get more anxious with all that quiet and breathing. I guess maybe I need something more dynamic? Looking for that sweet spot. Also, bare feet freak me the eff out.
I would suggest parking occasionally yourself in front of the mirror. It really does help your form to check your reflection and I bet you'd be pleasantly surprised in how good you look.

I take a pi-yo class for the same reasons you listed. I have a hard time quieting my mind, yet I dig the relaxation part of yoga (plus, the physical benefits are an added bonus). Do they offer some sort of pilates/yoga class combo in your area? The pilates addition ups the intensity enough to keep my interest.

scorch · May 2013

I started running again after I had my twins because I was so desperate for some alone time. Fell in love with racing . I have yet to get my awesome back but I certainly feel a lot better about myself. I'm gonna start an advocare 24 day challenge. I have a really hard time eating food that isn't crap. I love pizza something fierce and I will eat it in just about any form. For me the hard part isn't going out and running, its eating properly.

MamatoA2010 · May 2013

scorch:
I started running again after I had my twins because I was so desperate for some alone time. Fell in love with racing . I have yet to get my awesome back but I certainly feel a lot better about myself. I'm gonna start an advocare 24 day challenge. I have a really hard time eating food that isn't crap. I love pizza something fierce and I will eat it in just about any form. For me the hard part isn't going out and running, its eating properly.

+1

izzourclue · May 2013

scorch:
I started running again after I had my twins because I was so desperate for some alone time. Fell in love with racing . I have yet to get my awesome back but I certainly feel a lot better about myself. I'm gonna start an advocare 24 day challenge. I have a really hard time eating food that isn't crap. I love pizza something fierce and I will eat it in just about any form. For me the hard part isn't going out and running, its eating properly.

I've looked at some local races coming up and may sign up for some 5Ks. I've always had a love/hate relationship with racing. I love participating and the sense of accomplishment, but runners can be so obnoxious about times and PRs it can suck all the fun out of it. I'm really fortunate that food has never been an issue for me and I've never had to struggle with weight. I wouldn't say I'm the healthiest eater but that's due to my loathing of vegetables. And pizza is not crap. You take those words back!

MrsT0514 · May 2013

MamatoA2010:
scorch:
I started running again after I had my twins because I was so desperate for some alone time.  Fell in love with racing .  I have yet to get my awesome back but I certainly feel a lot better about myself.  I'm gonna start an advocare 24 day challenge.  I have a really hard time eating food that isn't crap.  I love pizza something fierce and I will eat it in just about any form.  For me the hard part isn't going out and running, its eating properly.  
+1

This is pretty much me too. I love working out...and I even eat MOSTLY healthy stuff. I just have a problem with portion control.

bigbootyjudi · May 2013

I got it back when he was 6 months old and started taking 2 hour naps, honestly. It was then that I actually had time to work out, shower, and do something for myself. Before then, I was holding him for all naps, sitting in my pajamas all day, and eating granola bars as meal replacements.

The first few months, you just have to do what you have to do to survive. Now though, I make sure to make time for myself.

scorch · May 2013

izzourclue:
scorch:
I started running again after I had my twins because I was so desperate for some alone time. Fell in love with racing . I have yet to get my awesome back but I certainly feel a lot better about myself. I'm gonna start an advocare 24 day challenge. I have a really hard time eating food that isn't crap. I love pizza something fierce and I will eat it in just about any form. For me the hard part isn't going out and running, its eating properly.
I've looked at some local races coming up and may sign up for some 5Ks. I've always had a love/hate relationship with racing. I love participating and the sense of accomplishment, but runners can be so obnoxious about times and PRs it can suck all the fun out of it. I'm really fortunate that food has never been an issue for me and I've never had to struggle with weight. I wouldn't say I'm the healthiest eater but that's due to my loathing of vegetables. And pizza is not crap. You take those words back!

i love the challenge of trying to get a PR. And your right about runners being obnoxious. How do you know if someone has run a marathon ? Don't worry , they'll tell you.

Youre also right about pizza not being crap. I only meant that, I cannot possible so no to pizza , in any way, I've only met one pizza that I thought was aweful ( the one they make at SAMs). I used to have a McDonalds addiction and I've completely stopped going there altogether, much to my children's chagrin.

LittleFish1 · May 2013

ByeBabyBunting:
I think I give this answer to everyone, but have you thought about joining a mom's group? I love my group and I find when I'm meeting other people for an event or GTG it is a big motivation. We do lots of walks and park dates, and a couple of moms and I did boot camp class at the Y together, and I doubt I would have done it without their company.

I agree on this; my first few solo trips were going to the baby supply store and LO and I were in the nursing room for a few hours. Had two diaper explosions, talked with a few moms who came in. Then tried the moms group play dates ... I am liking having other moms (same birth year) who are a tad bit ahead or behind to meet up with. That helped me a lot, just knowing we could go somewhere if we were having a goid day and if not, there was no pressure. When at them, if LO wanted to sleep in my arms, or nurse, there were other moms to talk to about non child topics (or just have a few other adults around and veg). They already are going places like parks and it is giving me something to look forward to.

mariagarcia495 · May 2013

If you like to dance then it helps a lot at least in my case.

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