Someone on my fb posted an ultrasound picture and announced she was pregnant. I am very happy for her, actually, but now I feel effed up about myself. Why does IF have to be so cruel? I just wanna cry right now. I don't know why I have allowed this to hurt me. I just feel empty, and like all the progress I've made emotionally and mentally are clinging on the precipice of disaster and undoing. Ok vent over. I'll consult my pillow with the tears about to fall.
On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba!
Re: FB Announcement, Now I'm Jacked.
**SIGGY WARNING**
TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 31
DX - Severe DOR, Stage II Endo
6 rounds medicated TI, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
After nearly 4 years of trying, our 1st BFP on IVF #3 (5R, 3M, 3F, 3 day 5 blasts frozen)
FET - Beta #1 - 116, Beta #2 - 266!! 1st U/S on 10/6 - HB 121 and measuring perfectly! EDD 5/30/15
Everyone Welcome
Baseball, Beagles, Beer and Babies Blog
It sucks. There's no ifs, ands or buts about it. It's not easy but I am trying particularly hard since my loss to remember that the happiness and pregnancy successes of others does not stop my own...or something along those lines. I had a few glasses of wine tonight.
(((hugs)))) though...it's not easy.
Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
TWINS!
15w4d:baby a-pProm
March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
July 29: FET-BFN
Sept: TAC placed
Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen
Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
Me: 28, DH: 30 TTC since March 2012
PCO & MTHFR Homozygous/Severe MFI (undescended teste & double hernia as baby)
12/12: 50mg clomid= bfn
1/13: 100mg clomid= bfn
2/13: 100mg clomid= bfn
6/13: IVF/ICSI (x1 4AA)=BFFN ~49R, 44M, 33F, 14 frosties OHSS
8/13: FET #1 (x1 4AA)=First EVER BFP 4dp5dt!! d&c @ 6.5 wks, blighted ovum
10/13: FET #2 (x2 4AA)= BFP 4dp5dt! Twins!!, perfect u/s then spontaneous m/c @ 5 wks
11/13= RPL/Karotyping= MTHFR Homozygous c667t
1/14= FET #3 our 2 year anniversary & hopefully our miracle
TTC #1 since March 2011
1 medicated TI cycle & 4 clomid IUIs = all BFNs
DS1 born 2/14
TTC #2 since December 2014
May 2015 unassisted BFP ended in m/c at 7wks
April 2016 FET #1 = BFN
June 2016 FET #2 = c/p
August 2016 FET #3 = BFP!
DS2 born 4/17
Me 28 DH 30
After 4+ years TTC
My TTC Journey:
Dx: Hypothalamic amenorrhea / mild PCOS (Pretty much a hormone/ovulatory disorder)
Progesterone to induce period w/ the goal of Clomid - never got period (September 2011). Referred to RE.
Femera - never responded to the meds (December 2011)
Clomid with TI - BFN (February 2012)
Injectables (Menopur) - hyperstimulated/canceled (March 2012)
Injectables #2 (Menopur) with TI- BFN (May 2012)
IVF - OHSS (transfer canceled), but 11 frozen! (June 1012)
FET - 1 transferred on 8/09/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 350.3; Beta#2: 365; Beta#3: 157. Biochemical pregnancy.
FET # 2 - 1 transferred on 11/01/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 337; Beta#2: 769. BFP!!! 1st ultrasound 11/28/12 showed heartbeat, but measuring 5 days behind. 2nd ultrasound 12/05/12 - miscarriage.
FET # 3 - 1 transferred on 1/24/13. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): BFN.
FET # 4 - 2 transferred on 3/21/13. Bet #1 (11dp5dt): 660; Beta#2: 1,300. Miscarried at home @ 6 weeks.
FET # 5 - 2 transferred on 7/12/13. Beta #1 (10dp6dt): BFN.
Attempted an IUI in late August 2013, but didn't respond well.
IVF #2 with PGS - Stims started 10/28 with retrieval on 11/11. Of 14 mature eggs, 10 fertilized, 4 made it to Day 5 & 1 made it to Day 6. We did PGS on the Day 5 embryos, and 3 of 4 were normal. Had ET on 11/17. Beta #1 (8dp6dt): 203. Beta #2 (10dp6dt): 618. We since had two ultrasounds & on 12/19, our RE released us to the OB. On 1/02/14, we had our first ultrasound with the OB where we heard the heartbeat. We are so thankful for the blessing & crossing every finger & toe for a healthy & successful pregnancy.
DITTO
IF just sucks, and is cruel and encompassing and isolating.
IVF #1: ER 1/23/13- 4 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertilized; ET with 1 embryo 1/28/13 2 frosties beta #1 2/5 was 4.8- beta #2 2/7 3.5; BFN
FET #1- transferred one beautiful 4AA embie. Praying this is my take home baby. Beta 5/7/13- BFFN!!!
IVF #2: ER 7/17/13: 6R/3F- transferred 1 blast and 1 10 cell embryo 5dt. Beta hell. #1 2.5, #2 2.2- BFFFN! REALLY?
IVF #3: ER 12/1 and only 2 retrieved. 1 fertilized with ICSI. Was planning on transferring one fresh and one frozen....fresh was only 14 cells at day 5...CANCELLED and devastated due to 5cm blood filled cyst in ovary and blood in uterus.
IVF #4: Antagonist protocol with endometrial scratch day one of stims. ER 4/21: 6R/4M/3F- transferred 2 beautiful blasts (5dt) and one was hatching! No frosties but hoping we won't need it! Beta 5/4/14- 444(8dp5dt), Beta #2 10dp5dt 1002! THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!!!!!!!!!! First US 5/15 we saw two of the most beautiful gestational and yolk sacs I have ever seen!
****FINALLY PREGNANT WITH DI/DI TWINS!!!!!!!
pg
DX: Unexplained
BETA #1 59 BETA #2 148 BETA #3 283 BETA #4 2,783! US at 6w2d shows 1 bean measuring right on track! HR 121. US at 8w3d measuring on track HR 177. Released form my RE. EDD 12/28