Worried?

Re: Worried?

• astrisize member

  May 2013

  I'm so sorry your family is going through such a tough time. Have a frank discussion with your mother and sister and see what their feelings are. Best to just find out what they're thinking.

  TTC since Nov 2011 Me: hypothalamic amenorrhea, DH: perfect May 2012 Follistim injections without response Sept 2012 Femara and Follistim resulting in hyperstimulation Nov/Dec 2012 Menopur for ~25 days, trigger, TI, BFP 1/1/13!

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• rhubarb123 member

  May 2013

  Well, quite a dilemna.  Maybe you could just not have a shower and host a "meet the babyparty" after the baby is born.  By then your family members might be in better spirits, have new jobs, or at least adjusted to the fact they no longer have their jobs.  They are not required or expected to bring a gift to that type of party.

  You could also just have a BBQ for everyone before the baby is born and just not call it a shower.  Especially if it is only family you would be invited.  Your mom and sister could still host but then they are still spending money to do a "lunch" or whatever. 

  Another option is to allow them to host the shower but for those that just lost their jobs...just call them and let them know that you do not expect them to give a gift under the circumstances but you would love for them to be there for their support.  Keep the shower low key, have it at a non-meal time which would help with costs, etc.  You cannot really say on the invite "no gifts" if it is going to be called a shower.

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• RoxyLynn member

  May 2013

  I'm so sorry to hear that - what a stressful time. One thing I've learned is not to try to spend other peoples' money for them. They know what they can afford, and what they can't. Approach them and say that you'd be just as happy with a no-gifts gathering, just a nice time with some family & girlfriends. They may accept, or they may just really want to throw you a shower. Accept their decision, whatever it is.

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• honeybee111 member

  May 2013

  I was in a similar situation - my friend was planning my shower, and she was laid off unexpectedly.  I talked to her about it, and told her a shower wasn't necessary, we could just go out to lunch or whatever.  She refused and insisted on throwing the shower.  I said ok, but I gave her a visa gift card as a thank you gift, because I felt kind of bad that she was spending hundreds when she didn't have a job.  Later, she told me she appreciated the thank you gift.

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• HappyMrsK member

  May 2013

  somerandomchick:

  I think you can trust most people to know what their budget is and what they can afford. I think telling people 'no gifts' is rude. If your family is throwing you the shower, ask the hostesses if their budget is changing, if they're changing the shower to be cake n punch etc. I think its kind of insulting to run around telling your family they don't have to get you a gift now that they're unemployed. They're adults, they know they don't have to give you a gift.

  This. 

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• PrimRoseMama member

  May 2013

  There is no way to politely ask folks not to give you gifts. 

  If you feel that the shower might not be feasible for your hosts then you can ask them if you can narrow down the guest list. However, their financial situation is not really your business (even though you know the info) and if they weren't able to afford it then they would cancel it. So, I would show up and be gracious.  

  
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• notkateanymore member

  May 2013

  astrisize:

  I'm so sorry your family is going through such a tough time. Have a frank discussion with your mother and sister and see what their feelings are. Best to just find out what they're thinking.

  I agree. I'm also sorry you and your family are dealing with this. Good luck! 

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