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July 2013 Moms
PrimRoseMama
member
BTDT Moms: Tell us...
PrimRoseMama
member
What you told yourself that you would never ever do that you ended up doing. Share your FTM self with the FTM's. I'm sure they'd be interested to hear it.
Mine: I realize (and don't act surprised y'all) that I was quite into the "I would never" as a FTM.
I swore I would never bed share because I was convinced I'd kill my kid:
Yeah, the night terrors have started (H had them as a kid, and I didn't. DD has them boo) and bed sharing is saving my sanity.
I would never let my kid out of their high chair or away from the table to eat:
Yeah, at this point getting DD to eat, period, is a miracle. The girl lives on oxygen and giggles or something. She eats, but like a bird. She hates being confined to the high chair longer than 10 minutes. Gone are the days I could get 30 minutes to eat. So, I have her little table she sits at and eats. Problem solved.
Those are just two that I can think of at the moment. Share yours Moms of 1 and more!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BTDT Moms: Tell us...
I also said that my kids would never back talk me. I think I'd have to muzzle DS1 for that to happen. Strangers who hear him look at me like, "Don't you have any control of your kid?" As a matter of fact, kindly stranger, no, I do not.
Haha, love this. I was so judgmental before becoming a mom!
Formula feeding - I was all gung ho about breastfeeding and for various reasons gave up the day after we left the hospital.
No tv until like four or five - he started watching videos at six months or so (we loved the Classical Baby DVD series for anyone interested) so I could get dinner without him screaming at me. Now at age two we have PBS on most mornings because I am on bedrest and can't do much!
hmmmm, those are the biggies, I'll have to think of some others because I know there are more!
Also swore I would never bed share - and as I still don't believe you should do it when they are infants - now that she is older and can roll over herself and all that jazz - it has been a godsend. Not sure we would get sleep otherwise!
I also told myself that I wouldn't be one of those moms that let their DDs out of the house with crazy hair (like not looking combed, etc). I was like "I'm going to put bows in her hair everyday, etc). Well, she hates bows in her hair and screams when I try to put pigtails in. She also rubs her head on our couch all the time making it look like she rubbed a balloon on top of it and the hair won't go back down. So yea - my kid's hair looks crazy sometimes....
I also said I would never bed share, but there were periods of time where none of us would have gotten any sleep if we had not.
I was also determined to make all homemade babyfood. What I did not plan on were the sleep issues we ultimately had and realized that it was not worth the extra burden I was putting on myself. I made what I could and the rest was store bought.
I think I was guilty of planning on only eating at the table too....didn't happen.
DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI
TTC#2 since Nov 2011
BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p
-Back to the RE-
3 medicated IUIs, all BFN
-Taking a break from treatment-
BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13
My Chart
I really, really tried to limit ever saying that before I had her, so I don't think I've had to go back on it.
The things I felt really strongly about (bedsharing, no TV) we haven't done. I did say we'd never use a leash on her, and I haven't, but I totally get why parents do now!
DS3 was a challenging infant and he would scream and scream and scream if I wasn't holding him, like when I had to make dinner. It was not uncommon for me to uncork some wine to sip on while fixing dinner. Fx for an easier baby this time!
2. I would NEVER let her down from the table until dinner was done. And if she did get down she wouldn't be allowed back. Um, HA!! I chase her with food some days bc the kid doesn't eat. It's usually a bargaining thing now.
3. I would NEVER let her wake 34 times a night at 12 months old, she would CIO. Yeah that didn't happen. I couldn't let her CIO and when DH tried it, she puked all over the crib from being so upset.
4. I would never go out in public w/o her hair done and being dressed. Reality: I'm happy she has pants on at all some days:
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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I swore I would never bedshare. LOL! That is a joke. I bedshared for 18 months. Haha! *There are safe ways to do it.* I thought I would kill her. I would like to avoid it with Isaac but I'm not fooling myself.
I would NEVER let my kid be dirty in public. How easy is it to use a baby wipe to clean hands and faces? Um harder than you think sometimes. For the most part my kid doesn't have a dirty face in public but sometimes it happens. I no longer judge moms of a toddler with a messy face. Now if you can tell the kid hasn't had a bath in days and plays in the dirt all the time then that's different. I still judge that. Probably shouldn't but a two year old doesn't know how to bathe themselves.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Never use a pacifier when he was in the hospital at 3 months I could not handle comfort nursing 24 hours a day. He dropped it quickly around 7 months himself.
I've stuck to quite a few like no TV before 2, homemade baby food, but there is always something you don't expect. I'm not expecting things to go the same with 2 so we'll see what happens!
FTM here and this is awesome. I try really hard not to say "I never" but rather "I'd prefer not to". But I know that parenting is trial and error and if someone suggests something that might work that I didn't want to do, but I'm at my wits end, I'll do it! Haha!
ETA: Is it weird that I really don't mind people giving me their opinions and telling me "you'll see..."? It doesn't bother me at all. I don't find it condescending but rather the opposite. I think they're just sending me fair warnings and help!
Ooh fun!
Well, I have never really been one to say things like "I would never" but I certainly had the judgey thoughts:
1. Sniff a kid's butt or look down the back of the diaper in front others (to check diaper).
2 let a kid use a pacifier past the point where they were walking.
3. Make something different for kids to eat from what DH and I were/are eating.
4. Let kids eat/drink in my car
5. Have a DVD player in the car
6. Give up breast feeding before at least 6 months.
7. Nurse baby with non-family in the room.
8. Have a baby that was still waking regularly/often after 6 mo old...
9. Bed share (we still never have, other than me occasionally falling asleep while nursing baby in side position)
I am sure there are others....
1. No toys that require batteries when super young
We stuck to this pretty well when he was really little, but now (at 2) he has a few toys that require batteries. Generally, they're kept out of reach though and come out when I need a break.
2. No commercial characters
We've stuck to this one decently. We still don't buy him clothes or toys overly marketed for one certain character, but he has some Clifford and Curious George books, and videos on the ipad. My main goal here is to avoid how I grew up - if I so much as kinda liked one character, my parents went overboard with it, and I started down that path of needing to have and acquire. I know some of that is inevitable with kids, but I don't feel the need to go down that route before we need to. I can see eventually getting a couple trains if he gets really into Thomas, but will still do the bulk of toys free of all the marketing hype.
3. No TV
He now gets a 30-60 min of screen time a day IF he's cleaned up and sometimes if he's napped (if he needs a nap but refuses, no screen time). DH has to leave early for work, so when he was a year and a half, the only way I could get a shower was to put him in his highchair in front of a screen and let him watch something on netflix. Still not a huge fan of it, but when used in moderation has been VERY useful for us.
I swore I'd never do CIO. EVER. I hated it and, pre kid, I would read parenting boards and weep dramatically when people talked about CIO.
Then I had the worst sleeper known to mankind and I decided that his lack of overall sleep, and his lack of more than 2 or 2.5 hrs of sleep in a row...on a good day...was damaging him more than CIO would, and we sleep trained starting around 7.5 months. And it was awesome.
There are a ton of things that I expected to do or not do that didn't turn out like I thought but I felt a lot of flexibility around most stuff. The CIO piece...yeah, ate so much crow on that.
Use pacifiers- yep, used them from day 1.
Tv- yeah she watches too much.
1. Drop my baby, I did on accident a couple of times.
2. Let my kid soothe themselves to sleep, I did bc I refused to have her sleep in my bed and it worked.
3. Give my kid soda, when all I have at the moment is a sprite then yes she has a couple sips.
4. Spank my child, sometimes that's all that works.
5. Drink wine while home alone with DD, sometimes Jules late from work and I need that glass to get me past the next few waiting minutes until he gets home.
6. Let my kids room be messy, yeah.... Who was I kidding?!
7. Let my kid wear a ballerina costume to the store if it wasn't Halloween.... Ha!! I let her wear a kitty cat costume as long as it gets her out the door. Choose your battles.. Right??
That's about all I can think of..
I said I would never dress my children in cowboy clothes. (It's just not my thing and I experienced some real culture shock in college in ID.) But then one of DH's aunts sent a little romper with faux suede fringe on it as a shower gift for DS1. And then I found myself searching the internet for little cowboy booties. And then went to a local western wear shop and bought a red cowboy hat. And did a whole cowboy theme for his 9 mo. photo shoot.
It didn't stop there, I ended up buying red cowboy boots and a western wear shirt for him when he was 3 so we could do another western theme for his little brother's 9 mo. photo shoot.
ETA: I also said I would never leash my child, but when we went to Japan for BIL's wedding when DS1 was 2.5 and I was pregnant with DS2 DH insisted upon it. I really, really fought it but ultimately lost. There would be 8 of us adults, I figured even if you didn't count pregnant me and too busy chain smoking MIL we had more than enough hands to keep on one child. I was afraid it would be exactly like leashing a cat, which I had done on a cross country move, and I was right. We only ended up using it when we had luggage with us, airports and train stations. I don't ever want to leash a child again though. LOL!
I think mine weren't so much saying I'll never as much as I really had no clue wtf to do with a baby. Since then I've tried to gentle tell my sisters in law each time they had their first kid.
Oooooh, I just thought of one that actually came up today. I always thought that kids playing on those indoor mall playgrounds were so sad, especially when it was nice weather out. Cut to me with a toddler, and we're there almost every other week at this point. What I didn't understand is that when you marry mr. ghost, you give birth to Casper who fries in the sun. Also, even if its not raining now, if it rained in the past 24 hours, the equipment outside is wet and the slides have puddles in them. It's hard when it rains every other day here.
Also, I totally used to judge parents with kids that won't eat. Now I realize that it takes serious, serious time and effort to maintain one of those kids. You must eat with your kid at almost every meal, you must make almost every meal so they don't get a taste for delicious fast food, etc. Its so tough. We have a good eater, but its hard some days. If dh and I had different schedules where it was hard to get home and make meals at a decent hour for the kids, it would be tough. So I just don't judge anymore because its a hard battle to fight with your kids day in and day out.