Who do you judgy judge?

lp0 · May 2013

msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. nbsp;There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.

Judge away, my son has a lion backpack. I love it and so does DS, he pets it lol. I'd rather have my kid on a leash and have others judge me then crying later because DS darted into traffic or got snatch up.

My judge is I hate when parents try to reason with their toddler. You are the parent, tell them what you want. We were coming out of a store once and there was a woman softly asking her kid if he wanted to come back to the car and get in his car seat. What?! 1. You are in a flucking parking lot and your two year old should not be running around. 2. It's a two year old, pick him up and put him in his car seat. It is not a debate. WTF!

notkateanymore · May 2013

I do have something I judge...I judge parents who try to be their child's best friend. We just had a couple here,arrested for their child having a party (with drinking) at their house while they were at dinner. They apparently are the parents who said "I rather them drink here than out and about" Well how about no underage drinking at all???? Ugh.

notkateanymore · May 2013

Loolaide:
cecilia1898:
I'll have to chime in- I tend to reserve my judgment for parents I think should know better...i.e. parents of teenagers, especially mothers who "let" their daughters dress inappropriately. Yesterday I saw a woman with her overweight teenage daughter- I probably only noticed that the daughter was overweight because she was wearing too short shorts and a tight tank top that revealed way too much cleavage.
I might not always have wanted to hear it, but my mother was never too shy to tell me that something I was wearing was too revealing or that it wasn't doing anything for me (i.e. looks terrible on me- for whatever reason). Sure, it was the grunge era and you had to really work hard to show some skin, but there were ways!
Oh, yeah, tell your kid that their clothes look terrible on them. That's important.

I agree you shouldn't ever say terrible, but there is a way to say something doesn't suit you. Not to mention just don't buy it in the first place.

adawn1981 · May 2013

LP0198:
msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. nbsp;There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.
Judge away, my son has a lion backpack. I love it and so does DS, he pets it lol. I'd rather have my kid on a leash and have others judge me then crying later because DS darted into traffic or got snatch up. My judge is I hate when parents try to reason with their toddler. You are the parent, tell them what you want. We were coming out of a store once and there was a woman softly asking her kid if he wanted to come back to the car and get in his car seat. What?! 1. You are in a flucking parking lot and your two year old should not be running around. 2. It's a two year old, pick him up and put him in his car seat. It is not a debate. WTF!

This. Exactly. I judge people that let their kids call all of the shots.

molisar · May 2013

LP0198:
msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. nbsp;There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.
Judge away, my son has a lion backpack. I love it and so does DS, he pets it lol. I'd rather have my kid on a leash and have others judge me then crying later because DS darted into traffic or got snatch up. My judge is I hate when parents try to reason with their toddler. You are the parent, tell them what you want. We were coming out of a store once and there was a woman softly asking her kid if he wanted to come back to the car and get in his car seat. What?! 1. You are in a flucking parking lot and your two year old should not be running around. 2. It's a two year old, pick him up and put him in his car seat. It is not a debate. WTF!

Agreed - we travel a lot - no way in h#ell would I go into an airport without the backpack for DS. It'd be so easy for someone to upgrade their ticket to 'child on lap' - they do absolutely no verifying whose child it is. Snatch a kid and fly away.

Unknown · May 2013

This content has been removed.

molisar · May 2013

superspecialsnowflake:
molisar:
Unless they are causing serious harm to their children, who gives a fluck. Not my business on how people raise their kids.
-OR- are needlessly negatively impacting people around them by their lack of parenting, or poor decision making. Case and point:
1) The person changing their baby on a Starbucks cafe table, as discussed yesterday...
2) The parent discussed earlier in this thread who didn't diaper their child, and the poster's floor got peed on twice because of it...
The children were not harmed in these cases, but there were negative impacts on the people around these parents. I reserve the right to be judgy of that.

Yes, I agree on harming/impacting others as well.

lp0 · May 2013

Loolaide:
LP0198:
msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. nbsp;There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.
Judge away, my son has a lion backpack. I love it and so does DS, he pets it lol. I'd rather have my kid on a leash and have others judge me then crying later because DS darted into traffic or got snatch up. My judge is I hate when parents try to reason with their toddler. You are the parent, tell them what you want. We were coming out of a store once and there was a woman softly asking her kid if he wanted to come back to the car and get in his car seat. What?! 1. You are in a flucking parking lot and your two year old should not be running around. 2. It's a two year old, pick him up and put him in his car seat. It is not a debate. WTF!
I definitely added that backpack brand you recommended to my Amazon wish list. As soon as he's walking instead of in the stroller mostly we will be purchasing it.

I think you'll be happy with it. DS is always hugging and petting his, Im glad he likes it. And he looks so cute in it too lol.

golfingdarwinfish · May 2013

I judge people who act as if their child never cries, misbehaves, or has a bad day. The whole, "my child is perfect in every single way and everyone else's child should clearly learn from mine!!" just rubs me the wrong way...

tealowl · May 2013

Loolaide:
KateMW:
Loolaide:
cecilia1898:
I'll have to chime in- I tend to reserve my judgment for parents I think should know better...i.e. parents of teenagers, especially mothers who "let" their daughters dress inappropriately. Yesterday I saw a woman with her overweight teenage daughter- I probably only noticed that the daughter was overweight because she was wearing too short shorts and a tight tank top that revealed way too much cleavage.
I might not always have wanted to hear it, but my mother was never too shy to tell me that something I was wearing was too revealing or that it wasn't doing anything for me (i.e. looks terrible on me- for whatever reason). Sure, it was the grunge era and you had to really work hard to show some skin, but there were ways!
Oh, yeah, tell your kid that their clothes look terrible on them. That's important.
I agree you shouldn't ever say terrible, but there is a way to say something doesn't suit you. Not to mention just don't buy it in the first place.
Yeah, I wouldn't buy it in the first place. I do think I'm super lucky having a son though, because I don't have to worry about his poor clothing choices causing people to label him a slut. I hate that young girls are judged for this, but I hate that they feel the pressure to do it to begin with.

::slow clap::

champhe · May 2013

Since I do not have kids, I really try not to judge. I do have one friend that I can't help but judge. Her mom takes her only child once a week and once over the weekend, sometimes both nights on the weekends. She practically has joint custody of the kid. I've heard the child tell my friend, 'I want to go to your house' instead of calling 'her house' home. I've also seen her manipulate her kid into going with the grandmother at times, which is just sad. I really can't imagine not having my child that many hours a week. Also, she works full time so it's not like she's a SAHM and needs time away. I just think it's weird and selfish.

GTown08 · May 2013

I judge parents who hit their children - not spanking, I am actually ok with spanking. I'm talking about all out, hauling off and smacking them across the face because of what I consider to be a small infraction. Not appropriate, and I definitely judge them.

Amanda7676 · May 2013

LP0198:
msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. nbsp;There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.
Judge away, my son has a lion backpack. I love it and so does DS, he pets it lol. I'd rather have my kid on a leash and have others judge me then crying later because DS darted into traffic or got snatch up. My judge is I hate when parents try to reason with their toddler. You are the parent, tell them what you want. We were coming out of a store once and there was a woman softly asking her kid if he wanted to come back to the car and get in his car seat. What?! 1. You are in a flucking parking lot and your two year old should not be running around. 2. It's a two year old, pick him up and put him in his car seat. It is not a debate. WTF!

I so agree! I had a puppy one for my daughter.

tealowl · May 2013

champhe:
Her mom takes her only child once a week and once over the weekend, sometimes both nights on the weekends.
Also, she works full time so it's not like she's a SAHM and needs time away. I just think it's weird and selfish.

Um, I work full time and I need time away from my kid. And she's spent the night at her grandparents before and has said many times she wants to go over there and play, and that doesn't make me selfish or weird. Once a week and on weekends isn't a big deal.

I also have 50/50 custody of her. Her Dad and I have even amounts of time with her, so days go by without me seeing her. I don't like it when its that long, but I'm sure her Dad thinks the same when I have her.

Parents who NEVER spend any amount of time on themselves and just Velcro their kids to them for 18 years are weird and selfish. Let your kid hang out without you, sheesh.

I relish my adult time. It makes me a better parent. And I'm able to clean my house.

champhe · May 2013

teal owl:
champhe:
Her mom takes her only child once a week and once over the weekend, sometimes both nights on the weekends.
Also, she works full time so it's not like she's a SAHM and needs time away. I just think it's weird and selfish.

Um, I work full time and I need time away from my kid. And she's spent the night at her grandparents before and has said many times she wants to go over there and play, and that doesn't make me selfish or weird. Once a week and on weekends isn't a big deal.

I also have 50/50 custody of her. Her Dad and I have even amounts of time with her, so days go by without me seeing her. I don't like it when its that long, but I'm sure her Dad thinks the same when I have her.

Parents who NEVER spend any amount of time on themselves and just Velcro their kids to them for 18 years are weird and selfish. Let your kid hang out without you, sheesh.

I relish my adult time. It makes me a better parent. And I'm able to clean my house.

I fully agree that we all need adult time and I plan on both sets of grandparents being very involved and having our child often. I just can't see having a set schedule every week where you do not have your child 2 to 3 full days. This is compounded by the fact that the last time I was around this friend, her mom was taking her child home with her and I heard my friend's husband tell his wife not to tell her goodbye b/c she would want to come home with them then. I can't help but think that's not healthy.

champhe · May 2013

I don't think I mentioned these are over night visits, 2 to 3 times each week.

insertclevername · May 2013

I tried leashing my kid but he wouldn't submit. I had to take him on a flight by myself at 18 months old and getting through the airport would have been much easier had he worn his monkey backpack. Everytime I put it on he dropped like a stone and refused to move.

I work almost 40 hours a week and I relish the time I get to myself. Some nights I look forward to when my kid goes to bed or when we are able to get a sitter so we can have some adult time or when I get to go to Target for an hour by myself.

SarahDavis83 · May 2013

LP0198:
msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. nbsp;There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.
Judge away, my son has a lion backpack. I love it and so does DS, he pets it lol. I'd rather have my kid on a leash and have others judge me then crying later because DS darted into traffic or got snatch up.

Agreed! I used to judge this when I was younger. But in the last couple of years, I really see the validity in them. I'm not saying I will use one constantly. But if we are going somewhere where there are lots of crowds, or busy streets, daaamn straight I'll use a leash! It's a cruel, unforgiving world we live in, and children don't understand that. If that's what I have to do to keep my child safe, I will.

okate0213 · May 2013

n8swife:
I judge people who aren't parents but they judge parents. Those without children are the best parents ever.

Haha this. I do a lot of things that I said I would never do.

I do though judge people wo give there kid a bottle filled with juice be it a baby or toddler. I don't have a problem with juice it's the fact it's being put in a bottle.

Eayanaw27 · May 2013

msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.

Couldn't agree more, so annoying!

champhe · May 2013

gwinnygirl:
champhe:
I don't think I mentioned these are over night visits, 2 to 3 times each week.
No, I got that. My mom & MIL would kill to have that kind of access to our kid(s). H & I both work full-time, he does swing work. We still get plenty of time with our child - a few nights a week with a beloved relative would be amazing for both DS & us.
I also got the part about not saying goodbye to the child - we ALWAYS have to sneak out when one or both of us leaves because O loses his shiit.

Maybe I don't get it b/c we don't have kids yet. In a couple years maybe I'll be sneaking out the door too. For some reason I feel sad for this little girl when I see this stuff now, but I know that could change. I absolutely know that my husband and I will still want our time alone and we're lucky that both of our parents will be clamoring for babysitting time.

tealowl · May 2013

gwinnygirl:
champhe:
I don't think I mentioned these are over night visits, 2 to 3 times each week.
No, I got that. My mom & MIL would kill to have that kind of access to our kid(s). H & I both work full-time, he does swing work. We still get plenty of time with our child - a few nights a week with a beloved relative would be amazing for both DS & us.
I also got the part about not saying goodbye to the child - we ALWAYS have to sneak out when one or both of us leaves because O loses his shiit.

tealowl · May 2013

gwinnygirl:

champhe:
I don't think I mentioned these are over night visits, 2 to 3 times each week.

No, I got that. My mom & MIL would kill to have that kind of access to our kid(s). H & I both work full-time, he does swing work. We still get plenty of time with our child - a few nights a week with a beloved relative would be amazing for both DS & us.

I also got the part about not saying goodbye to the child - we ALWAYS have to sneak out when one or both of us leaves because O loses his shiit.

Yeah, it's not harmful or bad parenting if your kid gets to spend time with grandparents, even overnight. My DD is blessed to be loved by so many of us. Me, my S/O, her Dad, his fiance, my parents, her Dad's parents, etc....and it makes it even better that we all get along well as a blended family, that's the important part.

Her Dad and I have had our differences, and have had to work them out w/mediators and lawyers, but it has to happen. Our DD is just fine w/her arrangment, and we're both not super strict w/it, so we switch days and weekends when appropriate (for family things, etc.).

GeauxM&V · May 2013

The leash thingy is a given, and so are the hashtags (facebook or no facebook) and the whiny abandoned prego lady, but I absolutely cannot stand it when parents smoke around their kids. Whether it is in a car, the house, on the patio, whatever. It makes my skin crawl.

insertclevername · May 2013

gwinnygirl:
NY Mama:

I tried leashing my kid but he wouldn't submit. I had to take him on a flight by myself at 18 months old and getting through the airport would have been much easier had he worn his monkey backpack. Everytime I put it on he dropped like a stone and refused to move.

I work almost 40 hours a week and I relish the time I get to myself. Some nights I look forward to when my kid goes to bed or when we are able to get a sitter so we can have some adult time or when I get to go to Target for an hour by myself.

But did you try reasoning with him?

el oh el. I actually do try to reason with him. I get a lot of side eyes for doing it, but it amuses me and keeps me from flipping the eff out when he is being ridiculous.

He currently responds to counting (I am sure it is just a phase). I will ask him something nicely twice and explain the consequences if he doesn't listen. Then I start counting to five. He usually listens by the count of three. I am dreading the day that it stops working.

SarahDavis83 · May 2013

Loolaide:
KateMW:
Loolaide:
cecilia1898:

I'll have to chime in- I tend to reserve my judgment for parents I think should know better...i.e. parents of teenagers, especially mothers who "let" their daughters dress inappropriately. Yesterday I saw a woman with her overweight teenage daughter- I probably only noticed that the daughter was overweight because she was wearing too short shorts and a tight tank top that revealed way too much cleavage.

I might not always have wanted to hear it, but my mother was never too shy to tell me that something I was wearing was too revealing or that it wasn't doing anything for me (i.e. looks terrible on me- for whatever reason). Sure, it was the grunge era and you had to really work hard to show some skin, but there were ways!

Oh, yeah, tell your kid that their clothes look terrible on them. That's important.

I agree you shouldn't ever say terrible, but there is a way to say something doesn't suit you. Not to mention just don't buy it in the first place.

Yeah, I wouldn't buy it in the first place. I do think I'm super lucky having a son though, because I don't have to worry about his poor clothing choices causing people to label him a slut. I hate that young girls are judged for this, but I hate that they feel the pressure to do it to begin with.

I have a teeange step daughter (15, almost 16). She goes shopping with her mom, and with her friends, and buys things I don't always approve of. Her mom is more of a friend than a parent, and my SD lives with us full-time. I can't always control what clothes she has, and sometimes I don't even know about them until I see her in them. I just politely tell her that I can see her underwear, or her bra, or whatever is showing. Usually that mortifies her enough to not wear the stuff to school. Luckily, she doesn't WANT to look slutty, so we have that working for us, lol.

franklyscarlette · May 2013

I judge parents who dont discipline their kids. I know there are difficult kids but at some point you have to put your foot down and be the boss. I have a former friend that I no longer associate with because her son was constantly hitting, pushing, etc on my daughter. She did mothing to stop this and actually told me once that if she ignored the behavior her son would learn to stop and my daughter would learn to defend herself. What?! I'm sorry but that's not parenting.

Unknown · May 2013

This content has been removed.

notkateanymore · May 2013

champhe:
Since I do not have kids, I really try not to judge. I do have one friend that I can't help but judge. Her mom takes her only child once a week and once over the weekend, sometimes both nights on the weekends. She practically has joint custody of the kid. I've heard the child tell my friend, 'I want to go to your house' instead of calling 'her house' home. I've also seen her manipulate her kid into going with the grandmother at times, which is just sad. I really can't imagine not having my child that many hours a week. Also, she works full time so it's not like she's a SAHM and needs time away. I just think it's weird and selfish.

Actually have a child before you say this.

Unknown · May 2013

This content has been removed.

ScarlettV · May 2013

champhe:
Since I do not have kids, I really try not to judge. I do have one friend that I can't help but judge. Her mom takes her only child once a week and once over the weekend, sometimes both nights on the weekends. She practically has joint custody of the kid. I've heard the child tell my friend, 'I want to go to your house' instead of calling 'her house' home. I've also seen her manipulate her kid into going with the grandmother at times, which is just sad. I really can't imagine not having my child that many hours a week. Also, she works full time so it's not like she's a SAHM and needs time away. I just think it's weird and selfish.

I can relate to this, as I have a relative who I feel takes advantage of her mom. They have three kids who are at gramma's every single day after school until around 8pm and all weekend long..overnight. The parents even dropped their kids off at gramma's and went to Disneyland with friends without them...DISNEYland. And their kids are the perfect age to go with them. They are always posting photos of themselves off hiking, camping, partying, going to baseball games, and fishing without the little ones.

I'm all for gramma getting all the time she needs but I know she's exhausted, and I feel it's gotten to the point where the parents are just using her as a free babysitter.

Eayanaw27 · May 2013

Loolaide:
Eayanaw27:
msiskind:
Parents who walk around with their toddlers wearing those leash backpacks. There is something fundamentally wrong about putting your kid on a leash.
Couldn't agree more, so annoying!
In two years, I will link to this thread and I bet that these parents will be using leashes. Or strapping their kids in a stroller still, same diff.
ETA - shiit, I hate people who say "just you wait." Oh well.

I will admit, I don't have kids. Wait to LO arrives, I may eat my words. Although right now, I just don't see it happening.

insertclevername · May 2013

meladoriestar:
NY Mama:

el oh el. I actually do try to reason with him. I get a lot of side eyes for doing it, but it amuses me and keeps me from flipping the eff out when he is being ridiculous.

He currently responds to counting (I am sure it is just a phase). I will ask him something nicely twice and explain the consequences if he doesn't listen. Then I start counting to five. He usually listens by the count of three. I am dreading the day that it stops working.

Lol this is something I've frequently had to advise my clients not to do. Because there will come a day when your kid decides to see what happens when you get to 5, and then you're screwed! Get your plan ready now so you're prepared for that day lol.

If he doesn't listen I actually do follow through with the consequences. Examples of consequences are turning of the television, me putting the toy away and carrying him to the bath, or football carrying him out of the store. I like to think that is why the counting works.

taylormarie923 · May 2013

I just want you all to know that you are way too nice.

We had a similar thread last month that got extremely heated. Of course, it ended with us "GIFing off" as per usual.

ScarlettV · May 2013

taylormarie923:
I just want you all to know that you are way too nice.nbsp; We had a similar thread last month that got extremely heated.nbsp; Of course, it ended with us "GIFing off" as per usual.nbsp;

Haha...maybe it's because many of the sensitive peeps recently GBCB'd and aren't around to freak out.

xconf143usionx · May 2013

I side eye 90% of the parents I see in walmart. For some reason that seems to be where all the bad parents flock to. That's not saying that everyone that shops at walmart is a bad parent. There just seems to be a higher concentration of them there as opposed to other stores.

I saw a lady and her toddler in walmart the other day. This is how the exchange went down.

Kid: Mom. Mom. Mom. Hey mom. Mom? Mommy! Mommm! Hey mom!

Mom: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?!?!?

It's like...really? If you'd answered him the first time he wouldn't have had to try to get your attention for 10 minutes.

And someone said something about leashes. I hear you on that one. There's this lady I ALWAYS see around town, and she constantly has her kid on a leash. Not the backpack ones. Its just like cris crossed over his body like a harness. I've seen her in resturaunts and she doesn't even take it off him then. She just lets him sit there on his leash. I've actually never seen him off of it. I bet she makes him sleep with it on too. She's nuts.

tealowl · May 2013

Parents who feed their kid mac and cheese/hot dogs/chicken nuggets/french fries and then complain that the kid is suuuuuuch a picky eater. Gee, I wonder why?

My cousin's son will literally make himself throw up if she tries to feed him something other than a friggin' plain hot dog. It's so dramatic. Let him get hungry for a day or two. He won't starve himself. Stop buying hot dogs, or stop complaining.

Kids do not need to eat those foods all the time. Why is that such an American staple? When did that become a thing?

Do I keep that stuff in the house? Sure, sometimes. But it's never been a staple. My DD isn't picky because she given two options: eat the food, or don't eat the food. She went without dinner a few times when she was 3 or so, and I haven't had a problem since. I know what she doesnt like and I won't force it on her (she doesn't like applesauce and never has, and doesn't like brats or certain meats).

Just feed your kids real food. Feed them fruits and veggies and meats and stuff. And yeah, let them have some awesome processed food too, but it doesn't need to be a daily thing.

Ugh, now I want mac and cheese and some fish sticks RIGHT NOW

MommyEllenSue · May 2013

People who let their toddlers run down the aisles in stores just knocking things of aisles. Then ask them to make smart decisions. Ummm no all I have to do is give my 2 "the look" and they know I've had enough. It's like a miracle worker actually.

People who do drugs around their kids and cuss at them.

Baby talk!!!

My SIL tells my 18 month old to act like a man. Ughhhh he's not a man.

tealowl · May 2013

MommyEllenSue:
My SIL tells my 18 month old to act like a man. Ughhhh he's not a man.

Ew, no.

franklyscarlette · May 2013

teal owl:
Parents who feed their kid mac and cheese/hot dogs/chicken nuggets/french fries and then complain that the kid is suuuuuuch a picky eater. Gee, I wonder why?
My cousin's son will literally make himselfnbsp;throw up if she tries to feed him something other than a friggin' plain hot dog. It's so dramatic. Let him get hungry for a day or two. He won't starve himself. Stop buying hot dogs, or stop complaining.
Kids do not need to eat those foods all the time.nbsp;Why is that such an American staple? When did that become a thing?
Do I keep that stuff in the house? Sure, sometimes. But it's never been a staple. My DD isn't picky because she given two options: eat the food, or don't eat the food. She went without dinner a few times when she was 3 or so, and I haven't had a problem since. I know what she doesnt like and I won't force it on her she doesn't like applesauce and never has, and doesn't like brats or certain meats.
Just feed your kids real food. Feed them fruits and veggies and meats and stuff. And yeah, let them have some awesome processed food too, but it doesn't need to be a daily thing.
Ugh, now I want mac and cheese and some fish sticks RIGHT NOW

Mom of a picky eater here. It has nothing to do with what I offer her. I offer all the healthy stuff and the processed stuff. Guess what? She's picky with both. I have no problems getting my other daughter to eat. It's not always because of junk food.

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