Infertility Veterans

Pity party for 1...literally

FML, the second I walked into the airport this morning I started bleeding and having bad cramps.  I am now in Ohio in a hotel room by myself, most probably m/c'ing, trying to cheer myself up with Junior Mints and Sour Patch Kids (that's after crying in the store because they didn't Swedish Berries, embarassing).  Needless to say, it's not working.  My Mom is in Italy and DH is on a plane so I can't call either of them every 5 minutes for cheering up.

I'm going to go for a run...but runnng in a pad seems like it's going to be absolutely horrible.  IF can suck itself.

 

 

 
me 33/DH 36
ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Pity party for 1...literally

  • I am so sorry. We are all here for you but I hope you can reach you DH soon. Biggest HUGS

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

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  • Oh, I am so sorry! I wish that this didn't happen to any of us. Sending you hugs...stay strong.
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  • BzeetyDBzeetyD member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this and feeling lonely and away from home. Big hugs and I think a walk sounds better than a run right now.
    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
  • I'm so sorry, BeeBee!  That just sucks -- sending you hugs.
    Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
    3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
    3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
    4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
    PPROM at 31w, delivery at 32 weeks of two beautiful girls
    image
  • Oh my goodness....I am so incredibly sorry. I am sending you giant hugs to you in Ohio!!! We are here for you....hang in there.

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
     
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
     
        image      image 
  • I'm so sorry. I was home alone in a blizzard in February when I was miscarrying. It sucks.. Hugs ((((()) 

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • Huge hugs! I hope you get to talk to YH soon.

    ***signature & ticker warning***


    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!

    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers

    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN

    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013
    ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)
    Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.


    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!


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  • How awful to be alone.  Sending lots of ((HUGS))

    <Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Married June 2011 Dx: anovulatory due to prolactinoma (1.5cmx 1.5cm in 2006)
    April 2012: MRI- questionable cyst 8mg by 12mm in pituitary ; referred to RE by Ob-gyn after amenorrhea x 4+ months, provera ineffective, low estrogen level
    cycle 1: May 2012, clomid 50mg; cycle cancelled, thin lining, no response
    cycle 2: June 2012, femara 5mg; cycle cancelled, no response
    cycle 3: July 2012, femara 7.5mg; cycle cancelled (largest folli on Cd12 & cd 16: 11, lining 4)
    Repeat MRI July 25,2012- Cyst unchanged, likely old infarction.
    Aug. 8: met with RE, move to injectables if HSG and SA normal
    Aug. 23: HSG all clear; DH- perfect
    Switched to a new RE in early Sept. IVF here we come
    Genetic testing reveals: Fragile X- Intermediate risk/grey zone.
    IVF#1: ER 11/30: 14 retrieved, 10 mature, 7 fertilized. E2 prior to trigger 5200. Decision made to freeze 6 embryos and transfer later due to OHSS.
    IVF#1.2/FET #1: estrogen injects start 1/18, FET delayed to try to thicken lining. lining 5.4mm. FET- 2/18- transferred one 3AA expanded blast. BFP 5dp5dt. Beta #1- 2/27 9dp5dt- 102.27 beta #2 3/1: 147 :(, beta #3 3/4: 268 told to stop meds and let nature take its course. requested 4th beta (3/6); Beta hell for 2 months.

    FET # 2: endometrial scratch 5/6, added estrace vaginally and ASA to delestrogen and PIO. June 10- transferred one 4AA hatched embryo, BFP 4dp6dt, Beta 1 (9dp6dt) 187, Beta 2 (11dp6dt): 412; Beta 3 (15dp6dt ): 4452. U/S #1- one beautiful embryo with a heartbeat of 133 at 7 weeks.  8 weeks: heartbeat 156. EDD 2/26/2014: born 2-3-14 induced due to Pre-E and HELLP at 36w5d.

    12/1: met with RE to discuss trying for #2


  • Soooo sorry, Bee! It sucks that you're far from home and DH. I hope you get to talk to them soon! Big hugs!
    Married 2007
    3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs
    IVF #1 never made it to transfer
    On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin
    Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013
    Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix
    Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on.
    OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. IVF 2.5 transferred two "gorgeous" 5-day blasts and BFFN. Even REI is baffled
    On indefinite hold until a huge stroke of serendipity led me to IVF 3 May 2014
    Testing found positive cardiolipins/APS, now on lovenox and intralipid infusions
    Transfer of 2 5-day blasts and (FINALLY) BFFP!! 1st ultrasound shows two sacs and two HB, but one is sluggish, almost expecting vanishing twin Subsequent ultrasound confirmed vanishing twin, but my other Little critter looks fantastic!
    "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
    -- Margaret Thatcher


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  • hmz819hmz819 member
    I'm so sorry! Where in Ohio are you? I'm in Hinckley right now if you are close and need anything

    TTC#1 since April 2011
    IVF#1 July 2012 5R, 3 made it to blast, sET c/p
    FET#1 Aug 2012 2 blasts transferred BFN
    IVF#2 Oct 2012
    16R/6M/6F/2-8 cell grade 1 transfer
    Beta 1-237.9, Beta 2-566, Beta 3-8657
    US 6w3d shows one baby w/ HB 115
    US 7w1d no more heartbeat/ D&C 11/30/12 normal karyotype
    IVF#3 Mar 2013
    6R/4M/4F 1 compacting and 2-8 cell transfer
    ectopic pg MTX given 3 month break from TTC

    IVF#4 Sept 2013--BFN
    IVF#5-7 Apr 2014, Jun 2014 and Aug 2014 banking embryos for CCS testing. Praying for normals! Image and video hosting by TinyPic imageimage

    http://i61.tinypic.com/34zll06
  • imagehmz819:
    I'm so sorry! Where in Ohio are you? I'm in Hinckley right now if you are close and need anything

    Thank you!  That's kind of you, I'm in Springfield, so it's a ways, but I will keep it in mind.

    Thank you everyone!  Having this board is one of the only things that could get me through a day like today.  I don't know what I'd do without you all.  ((hugs))

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • rrdiva1rrdiva1 member
    I am so sorry! Sending you big hugs!
    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

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    My Chart//>
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  • I am so sorry :(
     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573

    1st u/s=
    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

  • JSM0801JSM0801 member
    I am so sorry! :( There are just no words for how unfair this is. I agree that IF can suck it! Hope you at least had a good run and it made you feel a little better. 
             

            

    *****Siggy/Ticker Warning*****

     Me (34)- no issues found MH (36)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist. 9R, 7M, 5F = BFN c/p,  New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS  4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice. CCRM-here we come! ODWU-All test results normal. EPP in August. 21R, 20M, 19F. 12 blasts biopsied & frozen for CCS testing. Results showed 11 normal! FET Oct. 30. 2 5d 4AA blasts transferred. First ever BFP!!! Beta 1=216, Beta 2=870 1st U/S=It's TWINS!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!! Everyone Welcome!!! 
                                       Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

                         Pregnancy Ticker
  • So many hugs. Thinking of you and sending comfort and lots of love out your way.

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • Scoop77Scoop77 member
    Well, that definitely sucks. I'm so sorry you're out there by yourself having such a terrible experience. Thinking of you and sending you some virtual Swedish berries.
  • I am so sorry Bee, (hugs) 
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story



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    Lilypie - (ugiy)


  • I'm so sorry to read this. (((Hugs)))

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
    imageimage

  • OMG - I am so sorry you are alone. I feel horrible. I wish I was there for you.
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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