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Baby Showers
Blondangel
member
Asking someone to throw you a shower
Blondangel
member
in Baby Showers
An acquaintance (that I've seen maybe five times in my life) kept hinting that she wanted me to throw her a baby shower. I politely declined several times and gently mentioned that showers are a gift from someone close to you. They aren't necessary or should be expected.
A few weeks later, she texts me that someone had "finally stepped up" and offered to throw her a shower and someone else was willing to cohost it. Fine. Unfortunately, she calls me today and tells me that the hostess is "overwhelmed" by the huge guest list and the cohost is bailing. She told me to call the host (someone I don't even know) and offer to help. 
Is it just me or does this seem really inappropriate? Maybe things have changed in the 3 years since I had my shower? What would you do?
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Re: Asking someone to throw you a shower
Yes, that's terribly inappropriate. I don't reward that kind of behavior, nor do I agree to do something that will only make me resentful.
"Acquaintance, I'm sorry to hear this is happening with your shower. I hope everything works out for you." Repeat as often as necessary.
I think it is odd that she is texting and calling someone she has only met 5 times to "talk" about her shower. I mean, do you host amazing showers or something and she attended them and thinks you would do a fabulous job? You should feel flattered if that is the case, but you need to let her know that you cannot host her shower or even host it. If it makes you feel better give her some reasons why you can't (not that she needs a reason).
Maybe she should contact her mother and ask her to help out her "overwhelmed" hostess. If we can't ask our Mom's...then there is no one else we can ask. Personally, I'd have no problems asking my Mom...but not all people are that close. Next time she "asks" you to help I think you should suggest she pare down the guest list so her hostess can manage it on her own.
I think it's kind of telling that she's coming to YOU, an acquaintance, about this. And that people are bailing on her . I actually kind of wonder who the heck owuld be invited if she has to come to someone she doesn't know that well to try and find someone to THROW a shower in the first place!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This.
Although, I am at a loss as to why this is somehow your responsibility to host a shower for an acquaintance. Is she also banking on buying her a big ticket item as well?
Agree with everything above.
If her host is overwhelmed, then she needs to cut back on her guest list. Having 10-15 people at a shower is not unreasonable. I wonder if you would even make the cut if that were the case. Although she obviously thinks you are her bestest buddy in the whole wide world...
Inappropriate. Tell her again you declined, and don't have the finances or time for it. Don't call the host. And IMO, I would tell her your so busy that you can't even make the shower. I wouldn't associate myself with her, again.
She sounds like an entitled brat.
I would just be blunt and tell her no you are not doing that, but I also wouldn't be worried about ending the friendship either.
I have a feeling there was never another cohost and she is trying to scam both of you into throwing herself a shower.
Wow, that's wikkid innappropriate.
I opened this thread thinking the OP was going to be the one whining that no one had "stepped up".
OP, I'd definitely tell her you aren't going to help with her shower and I wouldn't talk to her anymore. That entitlement no doubt exhibits itself in other areas of her life and I wouldn't want to associate with someone like that.
Ummm....
I would probably just stop associating with her altogether. She's beyond rude, ignorant, and sounds super weird. If she continues to hound you, just ignore her texts and calls, block her on FB or whatever- or just flat out tell her she's extremely rude for basically telling you to host her baby shower. I hear so many instances of situations and drama like this... I feel so fortunate that I've never actually had to deal with anyone like this yet!
Tell her you don't have time for her and her bat sh!t craziness. Then never associate with this lunatic again.
I can't even believe someone would do that. Let alone someone you aren't close with. Does she think you are close?? Not that that matters, I'm just curious.
At first I'd try to be polite and just say you aren't in a position to help throw the shower....and hope that ends it. If not, then I'd say feel free to be as inappropriate to her as she is being to you.
I told her to contact her mom and both of her sisters when she first mentioned wanting a shower. She said that they "weren't the baby shower types and that her mom declined." She went on to say that her mom told her not to buy anything expensive for the baby because that's what the shower was for. So apparently her mom isn't interested in helping at all, but wants someone else to host, so her daughter doesn't have to buy things.
I'm glad that I'm not crazy in thinking that she's crossed the line. I guess I need to be more blunt or brutally honest.
Good solution!!