NBR: Work Situation Question

WhitWed · May 2013

I was going to post this on Working Mom, but figured you ladies would have way better advice and I'm more comfortable on this board.

Our section's secretary is incredibly sweet, nice, and a great person on a personal level; however, professionally she is overly sensitive to work-related situations and cries a lot (almost daily). She just recently transferred to our section from another because she was under too much stress (the guys over there made her cry and joked too much - her words). She's a bit insecure and I've begun to notice that when she messes up she will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. Because she's new to our section I did favors for her a couple of times when she messed up to help her out, no big deal, but now it's almost daily. For example, an important violation letter had to go out. It got lost in her desk and never went out by the deadline so she had me call their attorney to explain what happened because she was afraid he'd yell at her. Another example, she totals monthly reports for a lot of our facilities and inputs totals into a database. Well, yesterday she came over to ask if I would call a facility and have them re-send a report because it was over 100 pages and she didn't want to manually total them all (she was on the verge of tears explaining this simple task to me). And today was kind of the last straw. She was assigned a big filing project because we've been going paperless. We've been using a new online filing program for two years now. I created a "cheat sheet" on how to label our section's files so that whomever was assigned the task of online filing would know what to label documents. Well, today she wanders over (in tears) and asked me to make her a "cheat sheet" for our entire Division because she was just assigned to do additional sections. Umm...no! I don't have time to keep bailing her out especially since I'm trying to work ahead before I take maternity leave.

How can I tell her enough is enough in a gentle way that won't make her cry or think that I'm being mean and stress her out? Might I add she's related to one of the executives (and is also the DIL of a powerful lobbyist that we have dealings with on occasion) so the last thing I want to do is have her cry and tell either of them I was mean to her. I genuinely do like her, but her professional behavior makes me want to shake her! Would you say something or just let it pass until maternity leave hoping she'll find someone else to cling to while gone?

emolm · May 2013

Let her cry and maybe her supervisor needs to talk to her bc it sounds like she's got personal drama going on.

I only say that bc I was a big mess just like this and it turned out to be depression.

BLT20051 · May 2013

Honestly? I'd wonder if everything was ok with her personally. I'd probably take her out to lunch and ask her if everything is ok. Being related to someone high up could mean she's constantly getting berated for not being up to their level. Or the guys in the other section teased her for having her job because of who she is related to. When I first got my job no one trusted me b/c MH had started working there and was considered #2 in charge. I had to shut them up and prove myself. Maybe she's struggling with that. I'd try that first and go from there.

ariaforte8 · May 2013

I would talk to her supervisor. Let him or her know the facts about her mistakes and unprofessional behavior and try not to sound judgemental. Tell the supervisor that fixing your coworkers mistakes is getting in the way of doing your own job. She needs to figure out how to do her job, and it's not your responsibility.
As a PP said, she may have stuff going on, but she still needs to be able to be professional at work. Maybe she doesn't realize how bad it's gotten and needs the talking to to realize she needs help. It reminds me of the poster who got chastized by her boss for sleeping her desk. Yes, she's pregnant and has a great reason to be tired... But if she's working still, she has to be professional and stay awake.

MdWestMom · May 2013

Poor lady, sound like she's an emotional mess. PP was very nice to suggest taking her to lunch, but I think you have enough on your plate without taking on a co-worker's personal problems. I would be direct & super encouraging. Say something along the lines of "I would love to help you with your task, but I am super busy with X Y Z projects. You did such a great job working on (fill in something she succeeds at). I know filing for the entire division seems overwhelming, but I know you can do it. Try breaking it into small pieces."

If you felt extra nice, you could forward her your cheat sheet to use as a template (if it's in Excel or something) and encourage her by saying that you have the confidence in her to make one for the entire Division.

Achae · May 2013

Honestly it's sink or swim time for her. You won't be there for her on maternity leave and you should not be doing her daily tasks just to try and not make her cry. I would tell her you just don't have time which isn't even a lie!

ASmallWonder · May 2013

CTGirl30:
"I'd love to help you but I'm swamped right now. I'm sure you understand." She can't cling on others forever and you can't keep enabling at the expense of your own job. You should cross post on WM. The ladies there do give good advice.

This would be my advice as well. You being swamped has nothing to do with her so hopefully there's nothing for her to take personally but you are still avoiding doing her dirty work.

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