Anyone else not sleeping?

McCarron20 · May 2013

My little one just turned 3 months and he's yet to master the art of sleeping for more than 3 hours at a time. I feel like every post/blog I've read re: 3 month old babies, parents & baby are sleeping through the night or pretty close to it.

We've tried everything and keep to a routine nightly. We start with tubby time, then I nurse and swaddle him, then rock him to sleep. We have a white noise machine that we turn on in his nursery and we bought blackout shades so it's nice and dark. He goes down fine, sometimes even putting himself to sleep, but it never lasts. The first stretch of the night is the longest - usually 3 hours on average. Then every stretch after that is less and less. Usually the second stretch is 1.5 hours, then up every hour until we finally get up for the day. Needless to say, DH and I are exhausted.

We've also tried the pacifier, swaddling vs not swaddling, etc...

Anyone else out there? Anyone have suggestions?

Minipenguin · May 2013

Have you tried putting him down while he's still awake? That way he learns to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up.

What does he do when he gets up? If he eats, he might be hungry and just need to get up for the food.

Wild_flower25 · May 2013

Its normal for babies to wake up a lot at night, but we shouldn't run in there every time they do. They need to learn to put themselves back to sleep, until their sleep cycles get longer then they wake less. But for now, try to let him fuss a bit and see if he goes back to sleep before tending to him. Or offer the paci. I do this for DD way too many times a night sometimes. But its what she needs to soothe herself back to sleep.

southernbear · May 2013

Is he waking up hungry? Does he eat when he wakes?

McCarron20 · May 2013

I nurse him about every 3 hours or so, so not every time he wakes up - maybe every other. It's hard to tell how much he's eating too. Maybe he'll sleep more when his tummy gets a little bigger!

huwehotaling · May 2013

One thing we did to get DD to sleep longer at night was to feed her a lot in the evening before bed. Most nights she eats 10 oz (she is almost 5 mo though) between 4p-bedtime. This helped keep her full longer into the night.

I also agree with PP that said not to go in there everytime he makes noise. DD will sometimes make a little noise in between sleep cycles but then she can go back to sleep. We don't go in to her room unless she's hungry. If he can get himself back to sleep on his own, he won't wake you up as often.

orangegoggles · May 2013

I am having the same problem but it not because he is hungry. He wants to eat once or maybe twice but will get up SEVERAL times a night between 7pm-6am. I know its because he does not know how to soothe himself. I've tried everything I can but he's too little to sleep train. Its so tough...hang in there!

ObLaDi · May 2013

What you're describing sounds like my night--my son is a little over 4 months.

It's really hard not to latch on to all the success stories of babies STTN, but try to remember, there are tons of babies that don't. It's biologically normal for babies to have frequent wakings, and even to need to eat a few times a night (2-3 times a night until a year is normal per Dr. Sears). DS is in a co-sleeper, and if it's been less than 3 hours since he ate, I offer his paci first. If longer or if paci doesn't fly, I feed him (he's always clearly hungry by the time he does eat).

I'm currently in the process of reading No Cry Sleep Solution and Good Night, Sleep Tight. I don't believe in CIO but would love to pick up some gentle techniques to help him work through some of the non-hungry wakings on his own.

Hang in there, mama! You're not alone.

this decaf life · May 2013

DD is 4.5 months and she usually only sleeps in 2-3 hours at a time.

MarinsMom · May 2013

for us, LO started sleeping more at night when we started feeding her more during the DAY, every 3 hours, whether she seems hungry or not! and now she doesnt need to eat from 7-7. shes 14 weeks

kjsmith9 · May 2013

Almost 5.5 months here and still not STTN. I'd say she'll do it once every other week or so, but otherwise we're still up 1-2x per night. She typically eats 3-4 times between 4pm and 7pm, and I try to BF from both sides at bedtime to keep her down longer. You definitely aren't alone!

sara7238 · May 2013

Totally normal for that age. We didn't start getting 4-6 hours until a little after 3 months. Now we are almost at 4 months and regressing (which no one told me was also normal at 4 months!).

The things that helped us were DD getting to 10 lbs (apparently 10-12 lbs is a magic number for longer time between feedings), naps every 2 hours or so during the day (the better rested they are during the day, the better they sleep at night), letting DD fuss a bit before picking her up so she learns to self sooth (Babies naturally wake around every 30-45 min and go back to sleep again quickly, so just wait to pick your LO up until the fuss is more of a cry), doing feeding only during the night (if the diaper doesn't smell, don't un-swaddle and change since it wakes them up too much), no eye contact/playing/talking during middle of night feedings (they'll think it's play time otherwise).

If your baby is small or a "snacker", it may take longer to get to long stretches of sleep b/c of their need to eat more often. Don't let yourself get caught up in what other babies are doing though. Your baby may not sleep through the night yet, but they will and there may be something your baby is doing better than the baby sleeping through the night that their parents wish they were doing.