I'm a bad housewife who hates to cook (first world whine)

TheTamedShrew · May 2013

So, I just left my job a couple of weeks ago, and I'm really not very good at this housewife thing. I feel like I have nothing to do, and with me being so pregnant, Just getting one bathroom cleaned or doing a load of laundry or cooking dinner one night takes everything out of me. My sleep schedule is way off because some nights I struggle to sleep and stay up too late, then sleep in too late, then can't get on the same clock as my husband.

I know that when DD gets here that I will have PLENTY to do and I should just enjoy my free time now, but I still feel so guilty when the home isn't spotless or I have NO IDEA what to cook for dinner. Especially when I realize sometimes that I may not LIKE this stay-at-home thing, and then I feel like a spoiled brat.

I know, I know...poor little first world/ housewife problems right? boo hoo

Anyway, my real reason for posting was to ask other wives about cooking/meal planning. I am NOT a good cook, but I have been making a solid effort this past week. Last night I pulled a roasted chicken recipe from Jamie Oliver's book and it turned out pretty okay...mostly if I can follow a recipe, it turns out alright, but it seriously turns into an all-afternoon project, and I spend too much money trying to make sure I have the right ingredients. I'm not good at it, therefore I don't enjoy it, and then I expect some kind of applause at the end which of course never happens and then I pout to myself about how many hours I spent barefoot and pg in the kitchen. Plus I didn't grow up with sit down dinners every night with the family like DH did, so I'm so that girl that would rather just eat a turkey sandwich or a slice of pizza or anything that I can microwave (I know, gross right?). My husband is an ex-chef who is an AMAZING cook, so it's rather intimidating trying to shove out my carefully planned recipe meals when he can always just whip things up from nothing or whatever we happen to have in the house. Every time I try to cook, I always have to go to the store to get this ingredient or that one...

SO, all that being said, here's my actual question. are there any suggestions out there for efficient meal planning? Perhaps a good recipe book that includes meals paired with side dishes and not just how to prepare a protein? One that might also include a grocery list for the week so I don't have to go to the store every day, because I KNOW that is not happening when LO arrives...

Mufflerlove · May 2013

I can't help with meal planning but I just wanted to sympathize. I also feel like a bad housewife! I could be cleaning more but it's just so exhausting. I feel bad for my DH but everything takes so much effort. By the time I carry laundry down two flights of stairs I'm huffing. Oh well, not much longer.

RileighsMom1224 · May 2013

Being a good cook all comes down to timing. If you know how long your main dish takes try to plan your sides so they are done around the same time. Also my mother always said " A clean cook is a happy cook", meaning do the dishes and clean up as you go. It makes it a lot easier.

I have some good cookbooks that are 20 minute meals or less. I normally sit down with the cook book and plan a menu for the week. I will write down the page of the cook book on the weekly menu and make my shopping list at the same time. As the week goes on I cross off what I have made because sometimes I dont want salmon on the day i have it planned for.

Good luck! Also there is no shame in taking a cooking class or two.

Jtaxson · May 2013

One thing to remember is that you don't need every ingredient, try to see what you have that you can use as a substitute.

Go online and search recipes using what you do have on hand.

It's okay to not like a new recipe, that's not a fail.

Take some time to explore recipes you do like, Pinterest, epicurious, America's test kitchen, bhg, cooking light are some of my faves. Then plan out meals. I'm a foodie and sandwiches one night for dinner is totally fine in my book. Make a complete grocery list with what you need for those meals.

Hope this helps a little.

Luthien1015 · May 2013

Try looking into Dinner by Design or a similar company by you, or maybe some inexpensive cooking courses at a community college? Otherwise Pinterest has a boatload of ideas. Try making a weekly menu?

TheTamedShrew · May 2013

I know, right? I mean my meals haven't been disastrous thus far, granted I haven't tried anything too complicated. I like making pastas and soups the best because you can just chop up veggies and throw everything in a pot. That chicken last night was ridiculous. It took me from 3:30 til 7 what with going to the store to buy the chicken, preparing the chicken, then letting it cook for an hour and a half, having to come up with another side item, eating it (which I didn't even really do because I had a late lunch so I just nibbled and enjoyed watching DH eat it), then cleaning up the kitchen after. My back was hurting soo bad afterwards! I was thinking "this sucks, I spend all day on a food that I don't even want to eat....I wonder how long I can keep this up"

I am so uncreative too, which is why I have to rely on recipes. I do like real simple magazine because they list a lot of good stuff, but it doesn't resolve the problem of grocery shopping. I feel so limited in my ideas and I don't want to spend a huge bit of money just to feed the two of us because I have to buy THAT PARTICULAR ingredient for a specific recipe. I also don't want to be that wife that makes chicken every night. Not to mention my husband is trying to watch his weight and I have not even GLANCED at what may be the calories in some of these recipes. *sigh*

tttwalters · May 2013

I try to keep it simple, growing up my mom stayed at home and we had wonderful homecooked, sit down meals every night. After getting married I felt it was my "duty" to do the same for my husband. I work full time and quickly became overwhelmed. I have since learned how to make simple healthy meals most nights. Do you have a bbq? This time of year it is so nice to use and easy, marinate some chicken breasts, steak or pork in the am, then put them on the bbq in the evening, about 30 min before put either potatos on or sweet potato, then your meat and either make a salad or do some veggi's on the stove. Another night do pasta, and another night do fajitas. YH will just love and appreciate the effort. Also ask him what he wants, if he gives no suggestions then he can't complain! Good luck!

TheTamedShrew · May 2013

Jtaxson:
One thing to remember is that you don't need every ingredient, try to see what you have that you can use as a substitute. Go online and search recipes using what you do have on hand. It's okay to not like a new recipe, that's not a fail. Take some time to explore recipes you do like, Pinterest, epicurious, America's test kitchen, bhg, cooking light are some of my faves. Then plan out meals. I'm a foodie and sandwiches one night for dinner is totally fine in my book. Make a complete grocery list with what you need for those meals. Hope this helps a little.

Thank you, I will check those out!

RileighsMom1224 · May 2013

My favorite cook book.

https://www.amazon.com/Weight-Watchers-Fresh-Minute-Meals/dp/0848732804

TheTamedShrew · May 2013

tttwalters:
I try to keep it simple, growing up my mom stayed at home and we had wonderful homecooked, sit down meals every night. After getting married I felt it was my "duty" to do the same for my husband. I work full time and quickly became overwhelmed. I have since learned how to make simple healthy meals most nights. Do you have a bbq? This time of year it is so nice to use and easy, marinate some chicken breasts, steak or pork in the am, then put them on the bbq in the evening, about 30 min before put either potatos on or sweet potato, then your meat and either make a salad or do some veggi's on the stove. Another night do pasta, and another night do fajitas. YH will just love and appreciate the effort. Also ask him what he wants, if he gives no suggestions then he can't complain! Good luck!

Good idea! I need to be more prepared and make sure I get things started in the morning. a lot of times I forget to thaw something out or marinate it and it's all of a sudden 4:00 and I have nothing ready. I guess making a meal plan for the entire week is good as long as I can have a lot of the same veggies/spices for each meal and just switch up my sides and proteins. fajitas or tacos sounds good, maybe I'll do that tonight

TheTamedShrew · May 2013

RileighsMom1224:
My favorite cook book.
https://www.amazon.com/Weight-Watchers-Fresh-Minute-Meals/dp/0848732804

Thank you, I will check this out!

TheTamedShrew · May 2013

RileighsMom1224:
Being a good cook all comes down to timing. If you know how long your main dish takes try to plan your sides so they are done around the same time. Also my mother always said " A clean cook is a happy cook", meaning do the dishes and clean up as you go. It makes it a lot easier.
I have some good cookbooks that are 20 minute meals or less. I normally sit down with the cook book and plan a menu for the week. I will write down the page of the cook book on the weekly menu and make my shopping list at the same time. As the week goes on I cross off what I have made because sometimes I dont want salmon on the day i have it planned for.
Good luck! Also there is no shame in taking a cooking class or two.

This is good advice, and sounds nice and orderly like I need it to be. I will probably never be a great cook, but as long as I'm organized I can get through 3 or 4 dinners a week and leave the gourmet up to my husband

MM1024 · May 2013

Pinterest can be your new best friend. I have so many recipes that are quick, easy, cheap and taste delicious from there. Good luck and hang in there!!!

MrsKatie07 · May 2013

If you are trying to stay on a budget, have you tried looking through the local grocery store ads and making a list of things on sale? If you buy a few different types of meat, some veggies and starches you should be able to make a meal plan for the week out of that. Don't go shopping every day for each night's dinner...plan ahead and be prepared. It will take a lot less time in the long run, and you are right, you won't want to be running to the store every day when LO arrives.

Start simple. Buy some chicken, pork chops or a roast, and some beef. Find marinade recipes online and use those in the morning and grill or bake the meat at dinner time. Lately for veggies I've been buying the steamables frozen bags because they take a few minutes and are really simple and quick. You can also grill peppers, onions, zucchini, etc and they are delicious with just a little salt and pepper. If you make some potatoes (baked, mashed, roasted in the oven), rice or pasta and serve it with your meat and veggies it is plenty. We regularly have pasta night and I make noodles, buy some garlic bread from the store or use the frozen kind and heat it in the oven, and make Italian sausage with red sauce or grill chicken and toss it with alfredo sauce and then chop up some lettuce and put some croutons and dressing on it for a side salad.

It sounds to me like you're trying to make too complicated of recipes for now. Try simplifying it and remember protein, veggie, starch. You don't have to make complicated main dishes as well as sides. Also, grocery shop one time for the week instead of going every day for each dinner. Once you get the hang of it a little more you can start incorporating more complicated dishes. Don't overwhelm yourself! For now stay in survival mode and just try to make somewhat nutritious meals.

katerichards12 · May 2013

I totally empathize with the guilt of not keeping a perfect house, I know some pretty fantastic women who can do that and keep up with a toddler or older children, and a job... alas, I am not superhuman!

But for dinner - I find that cooking a lot of something that is really involved early in the week, like roasting a turkey, or maybe a couple of chickens instead of just one, gives you a protein that saves time later in the week. I've even been known to buy one of those pre-roasted chickens at the grocery store to use in recipes because I don't have the time to to it all myself. I love to cook, but bite off more than I can chew. I also keep some surplus stuff in the freezer and use leftovers to make new things.

Maybe adopting a semi-homemade homemaker lifestyle would help? Google Sandra Lee's semi-homemade show on Food Network. For me, while I would love to have everything scratch-made, organic, and perfect looking, finding a compromise between that and actually getting something on the table with time to do other things (or nothing, which I prefer) is much better for my anxiety.

I'm sure you're doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for, and that your efforts are totally obvious to your husband! Good luck!

Yakut · May 2013

One lifesaver for us has been broiling. It rarely takes more than 20 minutes, and all you have to do is put some slabs of meat or fish down in some olive oil in a baking dish and shake whatever spices you feel like shaking over them (or sauces--it tastes even better if you have the foresight to plunk the meat/fish into a marinade for at least several hours, but it's rare that we do, so we usually just spread pesto, harissa, green or red curry, miso, etc. over it), heat up the oven on "broil," and put them in for 18-25 minutes (18 for salmon, 25 for chicken, for example). It's hard for it to taste actually bad....Also, for a side, we often put olive-oil-and-salt-covered asparagus in when there are eight minutes to go, or olive-oil-and-salt-covered Brussels sprouts in at about the same time as the meat. Or we just make a quick salad (any dressing is fine, but we usually use Turkish dressing--lemon, olive oil, and salt--or this dressing in this recipe https://joannagoddard.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-best-cole-slaw-youll-ever-have.html if we're feeling ambitious). So, 20 minutes, not horrible and often quite tasty, relatively healthy (since broiling is not frying), and GD-friendly if that is important....Also, I rarely manage to finish my entire meat portion, so I often save the remainder for a sandwich the next day (with avocado or something similar).

firewrk9113 · May 2013

Jtaxson:
One thing to remember is that you don't need every ingredient, try to see what you have that you can use as a substitute.

Go online and search recipes using what you do have on hand.

It's okay to not like a new recipe, that's not a fail.

Take some time to explore recipes you do like, Pinterest, epicurious, America's test kitchen, bhg, cooking light are some of my faves. Then plan out meals. I'm a foodie and sandwiches one night for dinner is totally fine in my book. Make a complete grocery list with what you need for those meals.

Hope this helps a little.

Agreed. I always lookin into my kitchen and see what main ingredients I have then go online and find a recipe using that. Then I figure out what ingredients I'm missing and decide what I can and can not do with out in the recipe and go from there.. Also, the more new meals you make you will learn what goes well together and pick up on tricks that make the process go faster.. Practice and over time you will surprise yourself with what you can whip together!!

ckettenb · May 2013

I know lots of people who really like emeals. (It plans your menu and gives you a grocery list)

emolm · May 2013

How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman is my favorite cookbook and makes cooking kind of fun. There's a section in the back with meal suggestions and some of the recipes have meal suggestions too.

Buttttt I serve almost every main dish with a frozen steam in bag veggie and salad.

SummerSnow11 · May 2013

When I started cooking I used rachael ray 30 min meal recipes. They still would take me around an hour to an hour and a half at first, but for me that was much better than a recipe that might take more than an hour for someone more coordinated. Over time and practice I am getting better at this cooking thing. Good luck!

JulieXB · May 2013

MJM1024:
Pinterest can be your new best friend. I have so many recipes that are quick, easy, cheap and taste delicious from there. Good luck and hang in there!!!

Agree! I never cooked much bc dad and brother always cooked in my fam. I like baking though!! I've tried to get better over the past few years about cooking more for us and Pinterest has helped BIG time. Also, crockpot recipes have been very helpful in our home! Sometimes we prep it the night before, put it in the fridge and start before work or when we get up. So much easier to prep, set, "forget" and eat at dinner time. Good luck! Start small!

AbbeyGirlBride · May 2013

Do your best! Don't feel bad if you feel like you're chicken isn't perfect or your floors aren't sparkling. You're so much more than a cook and a maid!

That being said, I'd say focus your cooking efforts on foods that you really like. I'm a baker because I love pastries, etc., so I do that all the time. DH is more of the meat man, and although I can whip dinner together alright, he's the one I call in if we want steaks, lamb, etc. Dinner is so much easier when he grills and all I have to do is make some sides.

It's been said before, but I'll say it again - crockpot is your friend! One of my favorite things to do is make a pot roast in the crockpot one night, then shred the leftovers, combine with taco seasoning mix and make tacos the another night. Sooo much better than ground beef!

Casseroles are also great if you find a couple you like. Then make a double recipe and freeze one (this may require some smaller sized casserole dishes - I always find smaller cheap ones at thrift stores.) When it's time to use the frozen one, all you really need is to make a salad on the side.

And find a good chili recipe you like. I have yet to meet a man who doesn't love a good bowl of chili.

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · May 2013

Taste of home quick cooking annuals. For reals. I cook but I have a friend who is awful and it was actually taking a toll on her marriage. I bought her one of these books and she's been doing very well.

Mpx3mom · July 2013

Easy recipes for you...1. Bisquick cheeseburger pie and a salad. 2. Pot roast...a marbled fatty roast about 3 lbs brown with chopped onions to seal in flavor and juices. Put in crock and cook on high 1 hr then low for 2 add potatoes carrots celery 1 hr before finish time and a bay leaf! Meat and veggies with roast beef sammies next day! Quick standby breakfast for dinner! Toast eggs and meat with fruit salad. Take what ever fruit you want and cut up. Use one can with juice of citrus fruit. Make in the am as much as you want b/c it will last for 23 days. 4. Chicken and dumplings! For that rascaly hicken! ; boil whole fryer until juices at bone are clear or internal temp appropriate for chicken. Use a deep stock or large least 4 qt stovetop pan. Chicken in pan pour water to cover 2 in above chicken. Boil then remove fryer and let cool. Leave water just below boil and skim fat white froth from water. Can of bisquits cut size desired drop and boil til consistency you like! Pull one out and chomp it!! Break apart chicken with your hands. my fav part cause i get to break bones; use all meat minus skin fat or yuck stuff. Drop in before biscuits are done and drop temp to simmer. 10 min and done! Cornbread in the back of white lily white cornmeal bag is most consistent fluffy ever! Get a well seasoned cast iron skillet. 10 in wide. Veg oil in the bottom 1/41/2 c and place in oven while preheating to temp on recipe. This gets the oil hot enough to fry outsides of cornbread so its crunchy; i beat ol grandmommas cornbread: good luck and please let me know if this works well or any probs!

Mpx3mom · July 2013

Grocery list: 1 whole or cut up fryer chicken. 1 lb ground chuck, 1 roast desired size, can of reg biscuits, bag of white lily white cornmeal ing on back, bisquick mix and shrddded cheddar cheese..2 onions white or yellow., 3 lb bag of potatoes, 1 bunch celery , bag of baby carrots, and whatever fruits blueberries, can of crushed pineapples and cantaloupes mix well strawberries bananas and grapes w/ can of mandarin orangesbag o salad some grape toms and dressing, loaf of bread, desired deli sliced in store butterball fried turkey is the best round here! for sammies! Toasted bread mayo meat on one cheese on other broil til melted and squash together!!