And then I cried

jackiea2m · May 2013

Please know that I am well aware of others having legitimate trouble TTC. For that reason, I have only been on the "Trying to Get Pregnant" board... I have not/do not claim to have fertility issues. I'm also going to say up front, that if you're going to criticize my posting or not say something nice, please just go away. I had a bad experience with someone on my last posting. I really just need to get my thoughts/feelings out to someone other than DH.

AF is annoyingly always on time. Sunday morning, AF was due... and she didn't show up. I had none of my normal menstrual symptoms either. HPT and nothing but a BFN.

Yesterday, no AF. Today... no AF. Two days late?! This hasn't happened at all since going off BC. Enter a little bit of hope.

Until about 3 hours ago.

And then I cried.

I read somewhere on the bump that you can allow yourself a set amount of time to be sad, and then pick yourself up by your bootstraps and keep moving forward. I allowed myself 20 minutes. I thought about how we're still gonna be okay because most couples can take up to a year.

But I'm still upset. I had changes to my body this cycle that I hadn't had before. And I know how some people say that it seems like everyone around them is getting P ... but it literally is true - three of my best friends (the other two already have kids), at least five people at work (I'm questioning what's in the water, but honestly I want some of that), and even two (I suspect a third) couple in both of our families.

I'm getting so upset with all of the "when are you guys gonna start having kids" and "are you pregnant yet" questions. We're not telling anyone that we're trying. So I keep saying that we're taking some time to just be married first (together years, married 8 months now). Since we got married, not more than three days have gone by when I wasn't asked one of these questions. I hate those questions so much.

I'm due next month for my annual gyn exam. I haven't scheduled it yet because I was hoping I'd be visiting the other side of the house, ya know? I guess I'd better call and schedule.

DH is going to be traveling for work for most of my fertile days this cycle, so I think May is just gonna be sex for fun again.

Next week I'm turning 31... I was really hoping we'd be further along in this baby quest.

Tonight's treat, a glass of really good wine and early to bed.

Thanks for listening.

candrew05 · May 2013

If anything I'm sure majority of us understand the up and down struggles with emotions during ttc. It's not easy and it's okay to get frusterated. Don't feel bad for that.

All I can say is enjoy that glass of wine, and I hope tomorrow is better...

iverske9 · May 2013

It is ok to feel down. It can be frustrating and heartbreaking when you get BFN after BFN, but try to keep positive. I am hoping you get a BFP and soon!

Piggie143 · May 2013

You are still young with "normal" cycles. Make your annual like you were going to, sex on your DH for fun and remember its all supposed to be fun...until its not. Enjoy your wine and your DH because ,hopefully (sooner than later) you may not have the time for those luxaries as often. Good luck & drink up!

sunlavender · May 2013

I think this was the type of post Loki was talking about.

Spookster · May 2013

sunlavender:
I think this was the type of post Loki was talking about.

Yes Sun

OP do you have a blog?

RunCC37 · May 2013

You gave yourself only 20 minutes to cry it out?! Gees, my pity parties last waaaayyy longer than that! Hang in there. Drink up, and tomorrow's a new day.

CMSullivan326 · May 2013

I think you'd benefit from a blog.

I only read a few sentences of that. Telling me what I can or cannot say caused me to lose interest....

modernfairytale8709 · May 2013

CMSullivan326:
I think you'd benefit from a blog. I only read a few sentences of that. Telling me what I can or cannot say caused me to lose interest....

All of this.

ABColeslaw · May 2013

Its time for a glass of wine or a couple shots. It sucks, the dissapointment and feeling like your body is doing weird things when you were once so in tune with it.

BankerBSN · May 2013

jackiea2m:

Please know that I am well aware of others having legitimate trouble TTC. For that reason, I have only been on the "Trying to Get Pregnant" board... I have not/do not claim to have fertility issues. I'm also going to say up front, that if you're going to criticize my posting or not say something nice, please just go away. I had a bad experience with someone on my last posting. I really just need to get my thoughts/feelings out to someone other than DH.

I always love when posts start out like this. I know it is going to be a good one...

ChrystoF · May 2013

I totally get it. I've been crying all afternoon. I've been late over a week, AF was due last Monday. My boobs hurt, I have cramps, I'm overly emotional and have been feeling sick on and off for the past week. I finally decided to check, and it was a big fat negative. I just broke down. We've been trying since September 2012 and I am SOO frustrated it's not happening. I know people say just relax or it'll happen when it happens.. BUT I AM TIRED OF HEARING THAT!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Baby dust!

Smile

sueann911 · May 2013

And this is why charting your BBT is important. If you had been charting, you would have known your O date and not claim that you were late.

Enjoy your wine. Get a blog. And don't preface crap with instructions on how someone should respond. It just pisses us off even before we read the whole drawn out and too long story.

jschwind22 · May 2013

AmyC925 · May 2013

Spookster:
sunlavender:
I think this was the type of post Loki was talking about.

Sun

OP do you have a blog?

This. This sounded more like a blog entry, which means that you need an outlet for your feelings. A jornal or blog will help with this.

Are you temping to confirm O? If not, you don't know that you are truly "late".

Honestly, it annoys me that you are annoyed that your period is regular. I would love to have a more regular cycle instead of being on CD 56.

BankerBSN · May 2013

HawkeyeTTGP · May 2013

Lawd. More novellas.

mrs_tacos · May 2013

Girl, I get it: AF sucks when all you really want is a baby. But I totally agree that a blog or a journal may help you a lot. Also, telling people what they may or may not post is not the way to make friends here.

Enjoy your wine!

BankerBSN · May 2013

amandarene112:

Girl, I get it: AF sucks when all you really want is a baby. But I totally agree that a blog or a journal may help you a lot. Also, telling people what they may or may not post is not the way to make friends here.

Enjoy your whine!

FTFY

gscoville · May 2013

CMSullivan326:
I think you'd benefit from a blog. I only read a few sentences of that. Telling me what I can or cannot say caused me to lose interest....

Yup, and right quick too.

KStephens514 · May 2013

I totally get where you are coming from. I went through something similar in my last cycle. Just remember tomorrow is a new day

mrs_tacos · May 2013

Banker&BSN:
amandarene112:

Girl, I get it: AF sucks when all you really want is a baby. But I totally agree that a blog or a journal may help you a lot. Also, telling people what they may or may not post is not the way to make friends here.

Enjoy your whine!

FTFY

Ha!

HawkeyeTTGP · May 2013

Banker&BSN:
amandarene112:

Girl, I get it: AF sucks when all you really want is a baby. But I totally agree that a blog or a journal may help you a lot. Also, telling people what they may or may not post is not the way to make friends here.

Enjoy your whine!

FTFY

Stacylarae · May 2013

I'm sorry. That sucks. I think you are right have a glass of wine, and try to get excited about the next month you can try. I would make your annual appointment. I went to mine before I started ttc, and he had some good tips and information.

Hope you feel better.

ksuRN09 · May 2013

I think a majority of women on this board have had this happen at least once. The TTC journey can be such a rollercoaster. When I was reading this post, I was thinking wow, I could have written this myself. I think it's ok to be upset but like you said, allow yourself some time to be sad and try again next month! And as a side note, I think it's important to just have sex for fun. I know it's easy to get so caught up in tracking your ovulation that you begin to only want to have sex during that time but then it becomes like a chore for both of you. So maybe just take this month to just enjoy each other. GL!

peanutmuse · May 2013

There have been 29 responses to this thread. None of them are your responses. If you're not going to participate in a conversation in the thread that YOU started, why should anyone else respond to you? (And why should they have to filter their responses because you dictated it?) How self-centered is that?!? So when you are asking yourself why people think you need to start a blog, keep that in mind. A blog is a place to write about your feelings and experiences. An forum is a place to have discussions.

So here are my questions, if you are interested in having a conversation:

How long have you been trying?

Do you chart? If not, how do you *know* you were late? (That's a rhetorical question, by the way.)

EmeJay · May 2013

jefa621:
I can't get past the part where not morethan 3 days have gone by that you were not asked about getting pregnant.You must know a ton of people. Sorry you're having a hard time. Just remember it can take a year to get pregnant and that is still within normal.

LOL!

Win -> right there

peanutmuse · May 2013

jefa621:
So which is it? In your only other thread (from the end of March)https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/72949026/ShowThread.aspx you also said you were 2 days late and that had never happened before. So it has never happened twice in a row now?

Ha!

SCSmith2011 · May 2013

jefa621:

*snip

So which is it? In your only other thread (from the end of March)https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/72949026/ShowThread.aspx you also said you were 2 days late and that had never happened before. So it has never happened twice in a row now?

Also you say you're charting as was suggested in your last thread. Charting needs to include temping to confirm ovulation. Are you temping too? Can you please link your charts? Maybe with other eyes looking at your charts we can help you figure out what might be going on. If you were temping, you'd know when you ovulated and this "late" period may not have been such a surprise.

Anyway, it seems this was a post and run, but if you do come back I hope this makes you feel better.

Edit: I just saw the one poster she was talking about. OP you seem to be telling us the same story two months in a row though. What's up with that?

HawkeyeTTGP · May 2013

OP abandoned ship, I think.

SCSmith2011 · May 2013

HawkeyeTTGP:
OP abandoned ship, I think.

Maybe we'll see her in another month or so if she doesn't get knocked up. I doubt we can count on her to support others on the board though.

HawkeyeTTGP · May 2013

SCSmith2011:
HawkeyeTTGP:
OP abandoned ship, I think.

Maybe we'll see her in another month or so if she doesn't get knocked up. I doubt we can count on her to support others on the board though.

Next month "I swear this has never happened before but I am two days late! Be nice because I'm a fragile little internet flower!"

EmeJay · May 2013

HawkeyeTTGP:
SCSmith2011:
HawkeyeTTGP:
OP abandoned ship, I think.

Maybe we'll see her in another month or so if she doesn't get knocked up. I doubt we can count on her to support others on the board though.
Next month "I swear this has never happened before but I am two days late! Be nice because I'm a fragile little internet flower!"

I'm gonna go ahead and bet on a I'M PREGNANT YOU BISHES, I told you so, you don't deserve it bitter ladies

rockopera · May 2013

EmeJay:
HawkeyeTTGP:
SCSmith2011:
HawkeyeTTGP:
OP abandoned ship, I think.

Maybe we'll see her in another month or so if she doesn't get knocked up. I doubt we can count on her to support others on the board though.
Next month "I swear this has never happened before but I am two days late! Be nice because I'm a fragile little internet flower!"
I'm gonna go ahead and bet on a I'M PREGNANT YOU BISHES, I told you so, you don't deserve it bitter ladies 

Agree. I think the odds are better for this. We're so mean.

AbbyZ5 · May 2013

Drink up that wine, and enjoy your night! Good luck on your journey, it can be rough. But it will pay off in the end!

SCSmith2011 · May 2013

AbbyZ5:
Drink up that wine, and enjoy your night! Good luck on your journey, it can be rough. But it will pay off in the end!

Oh to have this optimism again.

kmendes1210 · May 2013

I understand how your're feeling. Just try to stay positive through all the disappointments and thoughts of "it's not fair!". That's what I'm trying to do at least. It'll happen for us, just not as soon as we want

jackiea2m · May 2013

The reason I didn't reply sooner is because like I said, I had a glass of wine and went to bed. Then I did this thing called work. Except my job is not a 9-5 kinda thing... Today I worked a double shift, from 4am until 8pm, came home and read all of your lovely remarks.

On days like this, of which there are many since I work at least 10 days in a row before getting any days off, I don't have a lot of time to spend online.

A few things:

I temp. I chart. I use OPKs.

And hey, you know what? Thanks jefa621 for pointing out what I posted last month about March... I just went back to my chart and my time frame was off... AF came at night, about 40 hours late, so it was one calendar day but it woke me out of my sleep and so I counted it as two. April was back to 28 days, and back to first thing in the morning. May was two full days and several hours late. Although each month, I still get a positive OPK for day 16. So really, thank you for bringing that to my attention...

The reason I asked people to go away if you had nothing nice to say is for people like the few of you who felt the need to be snarky about it. I wouldn't dream of being like that to someone here... but not everyone "does unto others..."

For the rest of you, thanks for the comments... I'll see you around. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

jackiea2m · May 2013

Before the comments start... I have no idea why html coding is there... i'm too tired to edit. And it's now dinner time. Goodnight.

Akiesha · May 2013

sueann911:
And this is why charting your BBT is important. If you had been charting, you would have known your O date and not claim that you were late. Enjoy your wine. Get a blog. And don't preface crap with instructions on how someone should respond. It just pisses us off even before we read the whole drawn out and too long story.

Yes Yes

GermanGirl2007 · May 2013

SCSmith2011:
AbbyZ5:
Drink up that wine, and enjoy your night! Good luck on your journey, it can be rough. But it will pay off in the end!

Oh to have this optimism again.

No lie. I forget what that feels like. In other news, Hi SCSmith! I like seeing you here. :

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