I'm curious

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

Even if you guys don't agree with me, I am curious what you think.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/73791847.aspx

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

Kimbus22:
I saw that post last night. I thought her story was sad, not funny.

According to them, I am wrong for not finding it funny.

JaysonandKristin · May 2013

I cannot even begin to tell you how UNACCEPTABLE I find disappointment in the sex of your unborn child to be.

I don't ever post in threads like these anymore. People like to coddle others into believing that it's OK to feel disappointed that you made a boy when you were expecting a girl or vice versa. How about just not having expectations?

It's a crapshoot in the end, isn't it?

Unless you've bet the farm on one sex or the other, there's no need to cry. And, if you are crying, I hope you're crying because you lost your house... not because your baby is the "wrong" sex.

People need some dad gum perspective. I hate saying it, but really, have a FLUCKING unhealthy child and then tell me what the sex of that baby matters... it doesn't. Not in the slightest. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.

NotSharknado · May 2013

I get the moral of the story but she didn't explain it very well.

On the mom crying, meh, she had a weak moment. We all do.

fancefpp · May 2013

I'm sure this mother wasn't proud of crying in front of her son but no one is perfect. I would guess she loves kids, regardless of sex, if she's willing to have five of them.

I don't think it's that big of a deal to feel a little disappointed that your 5th child isn't the gender you were hoping. Will she love him less, of course not. She probably just wanted to experience raising both sexes,especially after doing it five times!

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2013

shanado:
I get the moral of the story but she didn't explain it very well. On the mom crying, meh, she had a weak moment. We all do.

What Shan said.

amywalt1684 · May 2013

Minimal disappointment and then getting over it is acceptable to me.

However, I worked with a girl who was pregnant the same time as DD. She was soooooo disappointed she was having a boy that she cried for days, constantly complained and even admitted to me basically a stranger that she wished she would miscarry. I tried ro tell her to be happy for a healthy baby. Now THAT was unacceptable. To this day when she posts something about loving her little boy on FB, it makes me sick to my stomach.

BnchaNums · May 2013

Minor gender disappointment doesn't bother or surprise me. OP you were pretty vocal about wanting a girl this time around. I'm sure it would have taken you a moment to compose yourself if the cake had been blue.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

BnchaNums:
Minor gender disappointment doesn't bother or surprise me. OP you were pretty vocal about wanting a girl this time around. I'm sure it would have taken you a moment to compose yourself if the cake had been blue.

Uhhh...no I was not. Also, I was expecting it to be a boy, so again, no.

Also very weird that you called me OP.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

LalaMama81:
I think that the very, very mild disappointment she had is not that abnormal or big of a deal. I think if she doesn't get over it very quickly, cries for days, complains about it, etc. then it would be inappropriate.
J&K, no one will disagree that having a healthy baby is WAY more important than a specific sex. No brainer.
I've already been asked, "Are you going to try for a third to get a boy?" Um no, if I have a third it's b/c I want a third child. I know I have a 50/50 chance and we really don't care if it's a boy or a girl. But I do get if someone in my position would kind of want a boy. And honestly, if I had 4 boys and wanted a 5th child regardless, I'd probably still secretly hope for a girl.
After reading stuff on the ingender boards, this post doesn't even ping my radar, though, I do think it's a shame her 2 year old had to witness it b/c I don't think it was appropriate for him.

This is the biggest part of my point.

BnchaNums · May 2013

Oh ok

https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71159659.aspx

BnchaNums · May 2013

OP is original poster, yes?

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

BnchaNums:
Oh ok
https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71159659.aspx

Yeah, because answering a question that is being asked means I am going everywhere saying

OMG OMG OMG I WANT A GIRL!! I WANT I WANT I WANT A GIRL!!!! HEY, DID YOU HEAR ME? I WANT A GIRL!!!!! I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD IF IT'S ANOTHER BOY! :::STOMP STOMP:::

Yeah, no Confused

And my friends call me Wash or WQ.

NotSharknado · May 2013

I have no problem with children witnessing one of their parents cry. I mean, we are all human and for this particular story I see it as a learning experience for the 2yo. Emotion is very crucial to growing.

I want my kids to see emotion from me so they realize that I'm human and have feelings of hurt, sadness or even joy. I'm not just a mom, I'm a person.

BnchaNums · May 2013

Lol. And I'm lazy and refer to any op as an op because I don't want to scroll back up and see how a screen name is spelled.

i would assume that this mom didn't run around all day screaming that she wanted a girl either, but caught in the moment understandingly became emotional. I know I would, which is why I don't see the story as flame worthy.

countrywed · May 2013

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha:
shanado:
I get the moral of the story but she didn't explain it very well. On the mom crying, meh, she had a weak moment. We all do.
What Shan said.

X3

MrsCase1 · May 2013

1. I think the OP did not adequately convey the story AT ALL. The way she wrote it was neither cute or endearing and I had to reread it to get her point.

2. I agree with everybody else that gender disappointment is beyond lame.

JaysonandKristin · May 2013

LalaMama81:
J&K, no one will disagree that having a healthy baby is WAY more important than a specific sex. No brainer.

This is why I stay out of these threads when they're real. Nobody ever gets my point.

It isn't about the idea that healthy and sex of baby are mutually exclusive. It's about regardless of the sex, we all want the BEST for our kids.

Can't we just remember that this is about THEM?

We want to grow them the best we can, we want to give them the best chances in life, we want them to be happy. Can't we remember that this is about a human life that has yet to unfold and we're crying because a baby isn't the "right" sex?

Can't we look beyond the sex to what our true purpose of having children really is?

Perspective. I believe that some of us lack it. (general us)

Gilliebear · May 2013

I would cry if I had 5 boys. Couldnt you imagine feeding 5 teenage boys?! Good grief.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

Kimbus22:
Mrs Case:
1. I think the OP did not adequately convey the story AT ALL. The way she wrote it was neither cute or endearing and I had to reread it to get her point. 2. I agree with everybody else that gender disappointment is beyond lame.
Yeah. This is my point. The story the way it was presented was "My friend cried because her healthy baby is a boy and her toddler watched and thought she wouldn't love the baby." That's not funny. That's sad.
I personally don't get gender disappointment at all. Not at all. But if other people want to be sad for a minute, that's their business. But the woman in this case knew she had a 50/50 chance of boy vs. girl and if she didn't think she'd be able to keep it together if she didn't get what she wanted, she shouldn't have brought her toddler.
I do agree wish Shanado that kids need to see their parents express emotion and it's okay for them to see their parents cry when it's something legit. I just don't think disappointment over having a boy is a good way to have your boy toddler witness it.

Thank you, Kimbus!! You totally get what I have been trying to say in the 2nd tri thread!!

eatmorecupcakes · May 2013

WashingtonQueen:
BnchaNums:
Oh ok
 https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71159659.aspx
Yeah, because answering a question that is being asked means I am going everywhere saying
OMG OMG OMG I WANT A GIRL!! I WANT I WANT I WANT A GIRL!!!! HEY, DID YOU HEAR ME? I WANT A GIRL!!!!! I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD IF IT'S ANOTHER BOY! :::STOMP STOMP:::
Yeah, no
And my friends call me Wash or WQ.

Omg WASH shut it down. I've kept my mouth shut for a long time but truth is you annoy the crap out of me. I don't get the wash love round these parts and there is a fine line between being snarky and just being an ahole. Unfortunately you often dance all over that line.

You are the last person that should be throwing judgements around based upon some things you've shared about your own relationship. I can't remember if what you said was on FB or TB so I'm going to be respectful and not repeat it. Some of you out there know what I'm talking about.

JaysonandKristin · May 2013

LalaMama81:
JaysonandKristin:
LalaMama81:
J&K, no one will disagree that having a healthy baby is WAY more important than a specific sex. No brainer.
This is why I stay out of these threads when they're real. Nobody ever gets my point.
It isn't about the idea that healthy and sex of baby are mutually exclusive. It's about regardless of the sex, we all want the BEST for our kids.
Can't we just remember that this is about THEM?
We want to grow them the best we can, we want to give them the best chances in life, we want them to be happy. Can't we remember that this is about a human life that has yet to unfold and we're crying because a baby isn't the "right" sex?
Can't we look beyond the sex to what our true purpose of having children really is?
Perspective. I believe that some of us lack it. (general us)
I mean, if we are talking about SERIOUS gender disappointment, sure, I agree. But w/ a mild, "Oh man, I was hoping for a girl after having 4 boys, oh well, can't wait to meet the new little guy!" I don't think that person needs to change their perspective.
I know it's not an exact analogy - but this argument reminds me a little bit about women who are upset that their birth didn't go as they had hoped and are told to just get over it b/c they have a healthy baby.

The disappointment in the sex of your child isn't a fleeting thing to me. Those are transient, and sometimes in hormonal women they happen for absolutely no reason. The lingering, crying crap is just intolerable for me.

I can't touch the bolded. To me, they're too different. There are WAY more variables involved in a birth than the 50:50 chance of a boy v. girl.

NotSharknado · May 2013

But the whole point of the post was learning experience and an eye opener for the mother. Is everyone missing this?

I think it was blown way out of proportion even if the OP botched the meaning behind the story. Take a breather guys. Calming of the tits are in order.

NotSharknado · May 2013

JaysonandKristin:
LalaMama81:
JaysonandKristin:
LalaMama81:
J&K, no one will disagree that having a healthy baby is WAY more important than a specific sex. No brainer. 
This is why I stay out of these threads when they're real.  Nobody ever gets my point.
It isn't about the idea that healthy and sex of baby are mutually exclusive.  It's about regardless of the sex, we all want the BEST for our kids.
Can't we just remember that this is about THEM?  
We want to grow them the best we can, we want to give them the best chances in life, we want them to be happy.  Can't we remember that this is about a human life that has yet to unfold and we're crying because a baby isn't the "right" sex?
Can't we look beyond the sex to what our true purpose of having children really is? 
Perspective.  I believe that some of us lack it.  (general us) 
I mean, if we are talking about SERIOUS gender disappointment, sure, I agree.  But w/ a mild, "Oh man, I was hoping for a girl after having 4 boys, oh well, can't wait to meet the new little guy!" I don't think that person needs to change their perspective. 
I know it's not an exact analogy - but this argument reminds me a little bit about women who are upset that their birth didn't go as they had hoped and are told to just get over it b/c they have a healthy baby. 
The disappointment in the sex of your child isn't a fleeting thing to me.  Those are transient, and sometimes in hormonal women they happen for absolutely no reason.  The lingering, crying crap is just intolerable for me.
I can't touch the bolded.  To me, they're too different.  There are WAY more variables involved in a birth than the 50:50 chance of a boy v. girl.  

But, the mom in the story wasn't lingering crying or anything. She realized she was being silly.

fancefpp · May 2013

shanado:

Calming of the tits are in order.

This! The woman wanted a girl the 5th time around. I can't really blame her. I'm sure she understood that she had a 50/50 chance when she got pregnant again and isn't going to go into an emotional tailspin over it.

As for the crying, her son will see how she loves and cares for the baby like I'm sure she loves all her children.

ladybugpjb · May 2013

shanado:
But the whole point of the post was learning experience and an eye opener for the mother. Is everyone missing this? I think it was blown way out of proportion even if the OP botched the meaning behind the story. Take a breather guys. Calming of the tits are in order.

I'm just going to give this a Yes and walk away from this thread.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

Eatmorecupcakes, you have a PM.

Duffgurl · May 2013

I didn't find it humorous. I think it is understanding why she cried.....I mean come on ladies Hormones.

Although I have always been the type of person to just want a healthy baby. Ya of course everyone has thoughts of what gender they would want for their child but when it all comes down to it...I just want my baby to be healthy.

Gillie you are hilarious

JaysonandKristin · May 2013

shanado:
JaysonandKristin:
LalaMama81:
JaysonandKristin:
LalaMama81:
J&K, no one will disagree that having a healthy baby is WAY more important than a specific sex. No brainer.
This is why I stay out of these threads when they're real. Nobody ever gets my point.
It isn't about the idea that healthy and sex of baby are mutually exclusive. It's about regardless of the sex, we all want the BEST for our kids.
Can't we just remember that this is about THEM?
We want to grow them the best we can, we want to give them the best chances in life, we want them to be happy. Can't we remember that this is about a human life that has yet to unfold and we're crying because a baby isn't the "right" sex?
Can't we look beyond the sex to what our true purpose of having children really is?
Perspective. I believe that some of us lack it. (general us)
I mean, if we are talking about SERIOUS gender disappointment, sure, I agree. But w/ a mild, "Oh man, I was hoping for a girl after having 4 boys, oh well, can't wait to meet the new little guy!" I don't think that person needs to change their perspective.
I know it's not an exact analogy - but this argument reminds me a little bit about women who are upset that their birth didn't go as they had hoped and are told to just get over it b/c they have a healthy baby.
The disappointment in the sex of your child isn't a fleeting thing to me. Those are transient, and sometimes in hormonal women they happen for absolutely no reason. The lingering, crying crap is just intolerable for me.
I can't touch the bolded. To me, they're too different. There are WAY more variables involved in a birth than the 50:50 chance of a boy v. girl.
But, the mom in the story wasn't lingering crying or anything. She realized she was being silly.

Shan, Lala and I are SO off on a tangent here. I am not even discussing the story in question. All of my response has been about disappointment in the sex of a baby... not this 5th son of a woman whose story is second hand on TB.

I don't care about the story. Really. I have a former co-worker friend who is the mom of five boys. She is amazing. I would love to be just like her. Unfortunately, 5 kids just isn't in my future!! ;P

CootieQueen170 · May 2013

shanado:
But the whole point of the post was learning experience and an eye opener for the mother. Is everyone missing this? I think it was blown way out of proportion even if the OP botched the meaning behind the story. Take a breather guys. Calming of the tits are in order.

Yes

I don't even know what the question is anymore. I do know that I probably would have cried at my ultrasound if I had found out that J was a girl, not out of sadness, but because I was sooooooooo very sure that he was a boy I would have been in complete shock. It is definitely not something that would have carried on forever.

Duckieer · May 2013

CootieQueen170:
shanado:
But the whole point of the post was learning experience and an eye opener for the mother. Is everyone missing this?

I think it was blown way out of proportion even if the OP botched the meaning behind the story. Take a breather guys. Calming of the tits are in order.
I don't even know what the question is anymore. I do know that I probably would have cried at my ultrasound if I had found out that J was a girl, not out of sadness, but because I was sooooooooo very sure that he was a boy I would have been in complete shock. It is definitely not something that would have carried on forever. 

This.

betsy538 · May 2013

Gilliebear:
I would cry if I had 5 boys. Couldnt you imagine feeding 5 teenage boys?! Good grief.

i this

NotSharknado · May 2013

You know what? Lets all just have some wine and be friends again. Mmmk?

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

shanado:
You know what? Lets all just have some wine and be friends again. Mmmk?

LOL! Just because people view things differently doesn't mean they don't like each other or are not friends.

I can't have wine obviously but, I am drinking red grape cider if that counts for anything.

NotSharknado · May 2013

WashingtonQueen:
shanado:
You know what? Lets all just have some wine and be friends again. Mmmk?
LOL! Just because people view things differently doesn't mean they don't like each other or are not friends.
I can't have wine obviously but, I am drinking red grape cider if that counts for anything.

lol! It counts. I only said that in jest. And cuz I'm drinking........again.

What? I likes mah wine.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

shanado:
WashingtonQueen:
shanado:
You know what? Lets all just have some wine and be friends again. Mmmk?
LOL! Just because people view things differently doesn't mean they don't like each other or are not friends.
I can't have wine obviously but, I am drinking red grape cider if that counts for anything.
lol! It counts. I only said that in jest. And cuz I'm drinking........again. What? I likes mah wine.

Drunk Shanado threads are awesome!

eesome · May 2013

You can't tell me you didn't want a girl or would be upset if it wasn't a girl. Just look at your siggy pic. You and your guy are wearing all pink...that couldn't have been a coincidence.

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

eesome:
You can't tell me you didn't want a girl or would be upset if it wasn't a girl. Just look at your siggy pic. You and your guy are wearing all pink...that couldn't have been a coincidence.

Actually, it kinda was. Mostly a joke on DH's part.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2013

I agreed with your initial reaction: not funny.

However, I think you blew this whole thing way out of proportions.

FTR, I also remember you being pretty vocal about hoping for a girl. Bnchanums didn't just make that up. Sure that doesn't mean you would have cried if it had been a boy, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have either. Emotions (and pregnancy hormones) can definitely play tricks on anyone.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2013

ShanAdo - any wine left in that bottle? Baby isn't due to nurse for another couple hours, so I think I can indulge in a glass or two

eesome · May 2013

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha:
FTR, I also remember you being pretty vocal about hoping for a girl. Sure that doesn't mean you would have cried if it had been a boy, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have either.

Yes Yeah...it would have been an epic disaster. We would have had to hear you biitch about having "another boy" for weeks and weeks.

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