FFFC

curlylocks3 · May 2013

peanut+muse:
As a rule, I only ever say congrats for BFP posts of people that I recognize and have some sort of understanding of their journeys.

The bolded implies that one poster can't congratulate another unless they've been in that exact same place before.

My confession: I hate calling TTC a journey.

greengirl0909 · May 2013

thetruthhurtsyo:
I think it's down right obnoxious to get riled up by "drive by BFPs". Newsfuckingflash- this isn't an infertility board. It's the TTGP board. If someone is successful at getting pregnant faster than you, you need to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Being nasty because someone else got a BFP, whether you "know" them or not, is asinine. And it makes you look like an immature, stupid fuuuckface.
edited because I really can spell stupid. ahh, the irony.

Although I wouldn't choose to use such colorful language, I agree with this. I figure someone who gets a BFP just needs somewhere to celebrate it. Most folks wait a little bit before they start announcing to real life folks, so why not post on an internet support board. When I was first pregnant, we ordered the crib really early. We told the furniture store guy we were pregnant before most of my family. It just worked out that way. You're excited, you want to tell someone.

SCSmith2011 · May 2013

greengirl0909:
thetruthhurtsyo:

I think it's down right obnoxious to get riled up by "drive by BFPs". Newsfuckingflash- this isn't an infertility board. It's the TTGP board. If someone is successful at getting pregnant faster than you, you need to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Being nasty because someone else got a BFP, whether you "know" them or not, is asinine. And it makes you look like an immature, stupid fuuuckface.

edited because I really can spell stupid. ahh, the irony.

Although I wouldn't choose to use such colorful language, I agree with this. I figure someone who gets a BFP just needs somewhere to celebrate it. Most folks wait a little bit before they start announcing to real life folks, so why not post on an internet support board. When I was first pregnant, we ordered the crib really early. We told the furniture store guy we were pregnant before most of my family. It just worked out that way. You're excited, you want to tell someone.

Understandable, but they could go tell 1st Tri or their BMB.

SCSmith2011 · May 2013

thetruthhurtsyo:
SCSmith2011:
greengirl0909:
thetruthhurtsyo:

I think it's down right obnoxious to get riled up by "drive by BFPs". Newsfuckingflash- this isn't an infertility board. It's the TTGP board. If someone is successful at getting pregnant faster than you, you need to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Being nasty because someone else got a BFP, whether you "know" them or not, is asinine. And it makes you look like an immature, stupid fuuuckface.

edited because I really can spell stupid. ahh, the irony.

Although I wouldn't choose to use such colorful language, I agree with this. I figure someone who gets a BFP just needs somewhere to celebrate it. Most folks wait a little bit before they start announcing to real life folks, so why not post on an internet support board. When I was first pregnant, we ordered the crib really early. We told the furniture store guy we were pregnant before most of my family. It just worked out that way. You're excited, you want to tell someone.

Understandable, but they could go tell 1st Tri or their BMB.

TTGP border control in da house!!!

Yeah that's exactly what I was doing.

SCSmith2011 · May 2013

cruelsound:

It's "I couldn't care less."

People who get so up in tits about drive bys are lame.

AEs rule.

I've seen more liquid poop and vomit this week than I ever thought possible.

I can't tell if you're talking about here on the board or at home. ;-)

greengirl0909 · May 2013

FFFC- I'm ovulating this weekend, but we're TTA for another 2 months...hard as heck to not say oh what the hell, let's see what happens. It's kinda like Christmas....you know you could open presents early, but you'd regreat it later....

curlylocks3 · May 2013

WhoCanItBeNow:
PS- no one actually reads the waiting to O and 2WW threads. Those only exist to up post counts.

And yet how many BFPs have been posted lately including some variation of "Well I mentioned this in the 2WW thread..." and others respond with "I've been waiting for this post".
You learn something new all the time

Jasperk23 · May 2013

DeLovely2009:I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.

My FFFC is that this is one of my favorite movies. I promise, I'm not shallow, I just love this stupid freakin' movie!

Rocknroll64 · May 2013

I think its weird that anyone would get seriously upset over a mean comment from someone you have "known" on the internet for 5 seconds. Who really cares? Its the internet. They don't really know you. If this board wasn't a little bit "mean" it would be pretty boring.

My fffc is that I have had quite a bit of time on my hands this week and I have been thinking a lot about who I think some of the AE's real SN is.

DeLovely2009 · May 2013

Jasperk23:
DeLovely2009:
I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.

My FFFC is that this is one of my favorite movies. I promise, I'm not shallow, I just love this stupid freakin' movie!

It's one of my faves too. Wink

peanutmuse · May 2013

thetruthhurtsyo:

Also, this is the interwebz. People can post whatever they want. This isn't North Korea. You do have the option to not open any post that you think is obnoxious or inappropriate.

But this doesn't apply to you ignoring drive-by bashing, right?

I am always amused by people saying that we can post whatever we want... immediately after they have just told someone what they should and shouldn't post.

beckynsean11 · May 2013

Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.

Yup, I'm a crazy lady. Smile

TTGPTalksMaury · May 2013

So, would this be the wrong time to tell you all?

TTGPTalksMaury · May 2013

Slapalicious:

Love you, Maury.
At first I laughed at this, but then I got sad. A pregnant 12 year old. Poor kid will never get to really be a kid.

Rest easy, I think it's a parody.

CMSullivan326 · May 2013

I got bored reading this thread and it took everything in me to get to this point.

Everything in here has been b!tched about so many times it's annoying. I'm going back to watching Mickey with DS. It's less lame.

AmyC925 · May 2013

I'm having a few crown and diet cokes for dinner. I told DH that he's on his own.

I bought the crown on my lunch break and it's sitting in the community work fridge...

Luckbeababy · May 2013

WhoCanItBeNow:
slaughter182:

I think it's ridiculous to say "Hope your stay is short and sweet!" in intro posts and then give people a hard time when they get pregnant on one of the first few cycles.

You might as well say, "I hope your stay is as long as difficult as mine, or else I'm going to give you shiit when you post about your BFP!"

Normally, I'm a big fan of the snark around here, but that just rubs me the wrong way.

(P.S. This did not personally happen to me, it's an observation from recent posts.)

I guess this is more of an UO than a confession, but meh. I'm going with it.

I will join you on that couch.

I for sure will sit there too!

beckynsean11 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
NariaDreaming:
beckynsean11:
I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me.
I would think my server had consumed 1 too many drinks if they put a lemon in my diet coke.

Is that like actually a thing?
Or lime. There was actually a lime-coke, remember?

It's totally a thing. I used to have tables get pissed at me for forgetting the lemon with their DC. I find it revolting.

catahoulatte · May 2013

Slapalicious:
WhoCanItBeNow:
If they are making 20 posts a day, they better have connected with someone.

PS- no one actually reads the waiting to O and 2WW threads. Those only exist to up post counts.

I actually used to read them. Up until about my year mark, I'd go into that thread almost every day and participate by doing things like answering questions and wishing people good luck. I used to love those threads when I still had hope.

Aww Slapps!

I used to post in them and read them too, when I was ttc. Just because some of the regs don't (reg meaning whoever this random AE is) doesn't mean it isn't a good way for newbs to get to know other people and all.

catahoulatte · May 2013

beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.

Ermagerd I agree. I automatically ratchet up the tip in my head when someone asks me if I want lemon or not in my water. Lemon in water is gross.

sueann911 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
tigger99:
krptcmschfmkr128:
My FFFC: I don't get why 3T has basically become another IF board? I understand siggy warnings, ticker warnings, etc on the IF board, but not the 3T board. The SIF board is fairly dead, but in order for someone to post on 3T who already has LOs, they have to walk on eggshells/post all sorts of warnings so people don't get upset or offended. I thought the IF board was for the "escape" from that sort of stuff?
It is kind of my understanding that IF is more for people who have moved in to IVF treatments while TTTC is the rest of us with issues TTC, most of whom are all TTC number 1.
I will say for myself personally there are days I dont want to see kids in siggys and dont come to the TTGP board and will just read what is on the TTTC board and participate there.
Just my 2 cents for what it is worth.
That makes sense, but at the same time, there are people who may fit 3T but not necessarily SIF.nbsp; PCOS, MIF, etc. It's almost like a catch 22.nbsp; Then you've got the IF Vets board. It's just kind of confusing.

It is confusing. But it's the etiquette of the boards. That's why it is uber important that you lurk first and read the FAQs about that specific board before posting.

Like Tigger said there are days when I don't want to even look at TTGP. 3T is my safe place. If I don't want to see a child or a ticker then I don't open the ones with warnings. It's a little bit of courtesy from one woman to another to help us protect what shred of sanity we're barely holding onto that day.

As for someone with a primary IF problem with a child, I have no problem whatsoever with them posting there with a warning first. Most of the ones who have went through IF before know the gut punch you feel without seeing that warning and are nice enough to take their picture out completely or have a small mention in their dx and hx siggy. They've been through it and they respect the flood of emotions that comes with IF.

And, no, the IF board is not the escape board. 3T is one as well. IF is more geared towards IVF, although some 3Ters post on both. Lurk and learn about the structure of the boards before you criticize them.

candrew05 · May 2013

beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.

I love that you said this. I was complaining to my DH the other day about the lemons. What ticks me off even more is when the lemon isn't just on the rim, but already floating in the water. I'm sorry but I don't trust that restaurants actually clean the outside of a lemon??? Tell me if I am wrong.

divinemsbee · May 2013

This is my first one of these, so I hope it's good. I'm on CD1 of cycle 7, and after looking at statistics, it's hard to feel like I'm not just running out the clock. Yes, I know that whole 20 percent every month thing and that it can take a year, but I also know that 80 percent of couples get pregnant in the first 6 months, so none of that is particularly comforting. Those of you who have been trying longer than me, however much, who don't feel this way, I truly have admiration for you. I'm also pretty sure that our insurance will cover very little, if any testing, let alone an RE or meds at the year point, so I'm going to talk to H about setting up a savings account for those things now instead of waiting and then having to wait more to save money. If we can use it for other things, fantastic, and I'm not wishing for it, but I'd rather be prepared.

P.S. I'm still going to pee on things, HIO, compare lines and temp, but I'm feeling very resigned today.

beckynsean11 · May 2013

candrew05:
beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.
I love that you said this. I was complaining to my DH the other day about the lemons. What ticks me off even more is when the lemon isn't just on the rim, but already floating in the water. I'm sorry but I don't trust that restaurants actually clean the outside of a lemon??? Tell me if I am wrong.

You are absolutely correct! I worked in big, corporate run restaurants & nowhere in our manuals was there a single thing about washing fruit. The only thing I ever rinsed were my apples. Though if that is something that you worry about, you should avoid all garnish save cherries & olives. Anything that has to be sliced, gets sliced ahead & sits in a cup, so the meat of the fruit comes in contact with the unwashed rind. I'm not concerned with that part too much. I just hate having to try to fish the stupid thing out after it has already ruined my delicious beverage. I don't even like them on the side of the glass.

beckynsean11 · May 2013

CatahoulaMom:
beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.
Ermagerd I agree. I automatically ratchet up the tip in my head when someone asks me if I want lemon or not in my water. Lemon in water is gross.

HAHA! I love it! I honestly didn't expect anyone to agree with me. DH makes me feel like I'm a psycho every time this happens. But it's usually an indicator for me about how much pride they take in their job. If I get a lemon on my drink, then the pickle I begged to not have near my plate will almost certainly appear too. I'm such a PITA!

Luckbeababy · May 2013

aneubecker:
slaughter182:
aneubecker:
slaughter182:
I think it's ridiculous to say "Hope your stay is short and sweet!" in intro posts and then give people a hard time when they get pregnant on one of the first few cycles. You might as well say, "I hope your stay is as long as difficult as mine, or else I'm going to give you shiit when you post about your BFP!" Normally, I'm a big fan of the snark around here, but that just rubs me the wrong way. P.S. This did not personally happen to me, it's an observation from recent posts.
It's only an issue if we don't know who they are and they post a drive by BFP. If they are active and I recognize their name, I never give them a hard time. The lala girl yesterday said something about it being a crazy journey, but then she got knocked up the first month. That rubbed me the wrong way.

I didn't really pay attention to the name. She could have been talking about the journey to have a regular cycle. I spent almost 2 years trying to have a cycle where I ovulate, so I wasn't technically TCC because, well, I couldn't. If I got pregnant on the first cycle I ovulated and was actively trying, wouldn't that still count as a difficult journey?
1. IMO you are technically TTC for those 2 years. 2. We are talking about drive bys here. I could care less about someone I don't recognize. Why else would they post a BFP if not to rub it in our faces? Or they truly care what a group of Internet strangers have to say when they didn't put in much effort to get to know us before the BFP? I'm sorry but an intro post doesn't count. 3. I think it's phony and fake when people say how happy they are for the women in those drive by BFP posts. You really care that much about a complete stranger? Honestly, I think that's how some people try to boost up their post count.

Well if we are being honest here, I think it is phony and fake for those that biitch about a possible drive-by and I think they do it just to up there post count and try to fit in so they are more a part of this "community" I don't believe for one second any one of you would not congratulate a total stranger if they said they were pregnant while out shopping, dinning, on a plane, wherever.

greengirl0909 · May 2013

beckynsean11:
CatahoulaMom:
beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.
Ermagerd I agree. I automatically ratchet up the tip in my head when someone asks me if I want lemon or not in my water. Lemon in water is gross.
HAHA! I love it! I honestly didn't expect anyone to agree with me. DH makes me feel like I'm a psycho every time this happens. But it's usually an indicator for me about how much pride they take in their job. If I get a lemon on my drink, then the pickle I begged to not have near my plate will almost certainly appear too. I'm such a PITA!

I'll admit to being in the annoyed by lemons camp. I also don't like ice in my drinks- primarily because I have sensitive teeth but increased because of a 60 minutes I saw years ago about how many feces particles are found inside ice machines every year.

sueann911 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:

I wasn't criticizing, I was just confused.

Go back and read your original post KMM and think of it from a 3Ters point of view. You put this in the FFFC. You asked when it became another IF board. I'm not sure what you think 3T is if it's anything but for IF. You questioned the way things are handled there because you think secondary IF has to walk on egg shells.

If you were confused, you could have easily PMed me or anyone else that is on both boards. Or you could have asked in chat the other night when you were asking about the etiquette of it.

But you didn't. You put this in the FFFC where its connotation is that you don't understand it because you don't agree with it. It may have been poor wording and bad judgment on your part but at least own up to it.

jaytee16 · May 2013

beckynsean11:
CatahoulaMom:
beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.
Ermagerd I agree. I automatically ratchet up the tip in my head when someone asks me if I want lemon or not in my water. Lemon in water is gross.
HAHA! I love it! I honestly didn't expect anyone to agree with me. DH makes me feel like I'm a psycho every time this happens. But it's usually an indicator for me about how much pride they take in their job. If I get a lemon on my drink, then the pickle I begged to not have near my plate will almost certainly appear too. I'm such a PITA!

I am on the opposite side of this - I always ask for lemon with my water and get slightly annoyed when they don't remember. More so when I reminded them about it and they still don't bring it until I'm half way done my lemon-less, flavour-less water :S

beckynsean11 · May 2013

greengirl0909:
beckynsean11:
CatahoulaMom:
beckynsean11:
Here's mine & it's pretty lame. I get irrationally angry when someone puts a lemon in my water or diet coke. It pretty much ruins the drink for me. If I wanted it there, I'd ask for it. I specifically ask not to get it because so many servers do it automatically. I was a server/bartender for 10 years & this was always lesson 1 for my trainees(ok, maybe not lesson #1, but I made sure I taught them this) : Offer lemon & give the guest the opportunity to say yes or no thank you. It's simple, but people appreciate it & you waste less lemons.
Yup, I'm a crazy lady.
Ermagerd I agree. I automatically ratchet up the tip in my head when someone asks me if I want lemon or not in my water. Lemon in water is gross.
HAHA! I love it! I honestly didn't expect anyone to agree with me. DH makes me feel like I'm a psycho every time this happens. But it's usually an indicator for me about how much pride they take in their job. If I get a lemon on my drink, then the pickle I begged to not have near my plate will almost certainly appear too. I'm such a PITA!
I'll admit to being in the annoyed by lemons camp. I also don't like ice in my drinks- primarily because I have sensitive teeth but increased because of a 60 minutes I saw years ago about how many feces particles are found inside ice machines every year.

I saw the same special. I can tell you that the ice machines & soda fountains & guns(at the bars) are usually the 1st places that Board of Health inspectors check in restaurants. I was obsessed with cleaning them, my managers made sure they were kept clean & always had correct filtration. I can't vouch for every restaurant though. We cleaned soda stuff daily, ice wells at the bar were emptied & sanitized every other shift, & the ice machine was emptied & sanitized weekly.

Luckbeababy · May 2013

My FFFC is if you are a reg and have been here for a year and you hate drive-byes why not move over to the TTTC board where rules are more regulated and you don't have to see them nearly as often. Or the regs that biitch about the constant state of the board, why are you still even here? (I don't mean that to be rude, just curious as to why) I am sure you have learned all there is to learn about TTC, so I won't believe it is to gain further knowledge. More power to those who do stick around and offer advice but don't biitch about every misdemeanor that occurs. This place is constantly changing and to always wish for it to be back to the way it was is just silly, if you are not happy with how it is now, do something about it, like find a new board that is more fitting for what you need at this given time. There are lots and lots of them out there! If you have had a MC and seeing any BFP is hard then go to TTCAL for example.

Firefly9 · May 2013

thetruthhurtsyo:
I think it's down right obnoxious to get riled up by "drive by BFPs". Newsfuckingflash- this isn't an infertility board. It's the TTGP board. If someone is successful at getting pregnant faster than you, you need to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Being nasty because someone else got a BFP, whether you "know" them or not, is asinine. And it makes you look like an immature, stupid fuuuckface.
edited because I really can spell stupid. ahh, the irony.

Yes

sueann911 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
sueann911:
krptcmschfmkr128:

I wasn't criticizing, I was just confused.

Go back and read your original post KMM and think of it from a 3Ters point of view. You put this in the FFFC. You asked when it became another IF board. I'm not sure what you think 3T is if it's anything but for IF. You questioned the way things are handled there because you think secondary IF has to walk on egg shells.

If you were confused, you could have easily PMed me or anyone else that is on both boards. Or you could have asked in chat the other night when you were asking about the etiquette of it.

But you didn't. You put this in the FFFC where its connotation is that you don't understand it because you don't agree with it. It may have been poor wording and bad judgment on your part but at least own up to it.
I'll own up to poor wording, but it truly is confusing to an outsider how the two are different (3T and IF) when they seem to have the same purpose. I haven't lurked there yet, because at this time, I'm not ready/in a position to join that community. I just sort of based the question off of people being told that SIF is better to post their questions on rather than 3T. 

Then why are you putting it in a FFFC if you are ignorant of both? If you're confused and want to see the difference, go lurk on both. It's obvious where the content of the posts are different on both. And, yes, IMO, it's nice to have two boards because the topics in each are different and specific to that board.

The purpose is the same. The community and focus of the community is different. I'm not going to spell it out for you since you've already admitted to having no business being there. It's shiitty for you to question the intent and etiquette of an IF board when you don't belong there.

beckynsean11 · May 2013

jaytee16:

I am on the opposite side of this - I always ask for lemon with my water and get slightly annoyed when they don't remember. More so when I reminded them about it and they still don't bring it until I'm half way done my lemon-less, flavour-less water :S

Understandable. Around here, they just assume everyone wants it & throw it in. If you ask for it & they forget it, it's just the same as me asking to have it left off & getting ignored. Either way, it's not what we asked for.

mmb248 · May 2013

Stacylarae:
I'm having a birthday party at my house tomorrow, and I will most likely be throwing any clutter in my bedroom and closing the door about 5 minutes before guests arrive...

That sounds like legit cleaning to me.

candrew05 · May 2013

I would like to confess that I actually judged a patient today. She was waiting outside the OR to terminate her pregnancy and kept commenting to me on all the "delicious" doctors walking by. Seriously? You can't turn your urges off even seconds before this procedure? Don't worry. I remained very professional and friendly with her...but grrr.

Rocknroll64 · May 2013

Luckbeababy:
My FFFC is if you are a reg and have been here for a year and you hate drive-byes why not move over to the TTTC board where rules are more regulated and you don't have to see them nearly as often. Or the regs that biitch about the constant state of the board, why are you still even here? (I don't mean that to be rude, just curious as to why) I am sure you have learned all there is to learn about TTC, so I won't believe it is to gain further knowledge. More power to those who do stick around and offer advice but don't biitch about every misdemeanor that occurs. This place is constantly changing and to always wish for it to be back to the way it was is just silly, if you are not happy with how it is now, do something about it, like find a new board that is more fitting for what you need at this given time. There are lots and lots of them out there! If you have had a MC and seeing any BFP is hard then go to TTCAL for example.

I think this advice can be used for anyone who biitches about the constant state of the board.......... Don't you think you're being a tad bit hypocritical?

sueann911 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
sueann911:
Then why are you putting it in a FFFC if you are ignorant of both? If you're confused and want to see the difference, go lurk on both. It's obvious where the content of the posts are different on both. And, yes, IMO, it's nice to have two boards because the topics in each are different and specific to that board.

The purpose is the same. The community and focus of the community is different. I'm not going to spell it out for you since you've already admitted to having no business being there. It's shiitty for you to question the intent and etiquette of an IF board when you don't belong there.
That's my confusion though. Are 3T and IF, in essence, the same sort of community?  And if not, why have people been told that SIF is better for them to post on than 3T? I understand the etiquette of the IF board. I understand siggy/ticker warnings for the most part, on 3T. But why do people get re-directed from 3T to SIF? That's what I don't understand. Or is it not actually supposed to be that way and people are getting misdirected? 
I think you missed my ETA where I said I have seen people be told that, even without mention of a LO/siggy/ticker/etc, they should post on SIF since they already have a LO rather than on 3T, and that brings the confusion.  I hit the year mark in June. I'm technically "allowed" to post there soon, but at the same time, I feel like that's not a place for me to post, does that make more sense or am I still completely fvvcking it up?
I'm not going to go over there and demand an explanation of why the board is the way it is. That seems even more out of line than admitting I'm confused as to the dynamic of the two boards.

I never said for you to go demand an explanation of the two boards. I said lurk. I'm not going to hold your hand and help you understand it when you've went about it this way.

I can't speak for what others say or why they redirect to SIF. I have directed to 3T and SIF and asked that they use warnings if they come to 3T. You know this is true since you were in chat questioning it the other night.

Twinkie0612 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
That's why it's confusing. Some people are OK. Others? Not so much. Some treat 3T as an all-out IF board, others treat it as board for everyone who's been trying for a year or has a diagnosed medical issue. It's a confusing dynamic.
Please forgive my ability to turn an actual confusion into a completely craptastic sounding rant?

Comment about the bolded:

I don't see what the difference is between "all-out IF" and "trying for a year or has a diagnosed medical issue." Generally IF is defined as TTC for a year without success or having a medical condition that interferes with conception, so to me anyone who has been trying for a year without success falls into the "all-out IF" category, because technically they have IF issues whether it is diagnosed or not and whether they are seeking treatment or not.

Here is basically what the boards have evolved into (whether it was their intention or not):

TTTC- Women who have been TTC for a year (6 months if over 35) or have a IF diagnosis. Most of these women are either in the testing phase or are doing less invasive treatments like meds +TI or IUI, but some people doing IVF post here as well. People with secondary IF are welcome to post as well but the current ettiquette asks that they add a warning to the post title.

IF- Women dealing with IF. Most of these women are undergoing IVF, but there are some people doing IUI or TI that post there as well. I'm not sure if ticker warnings are requried here since I don't regularly post on this board.

SIF- Secondary IF is for women who are dealing with IF, who had no problems conceiving before. Obviously no ticker warnings here since everyone already has kids. I don't know much about the culture of the board because I don't post here (and never will since I am dealing with primary IF).

IFV- Infertility vets is for women who have been active on the IF boards for an extended time (I think it is 6 months, but not sure). I don't post here since I don't belong on this board (no where near an IF vet yet), but I do lurk occasionally since there are a few women that I am following their stories.

Twinkie0612 · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
Twinkie0612:
krptcmschfmkr128:
That's why it's confusing. Some people are OK. Others? Not so much. Some treat 3T as an all-out IF board, others treat it as board for everyone who's been trying for a year or has a diagnosed medical issue. It's a confusing dynamic.
Please forgive my ability to turn an actual confusion into a completely craptastic sounding rant?
Comment about the bolded:
I don't see what the difference is between "all-out IF" and "trying for a year or has a diagnosed medical issue." Generally IF is defined as TTC for a year without success or having a medical condition that interferes with conception, so to me anyone who has been trying for a year without success falls into the "all-out IF" category, because technically they have IF issues whether it is diagnosed or not and whether they are seeking treatment or not.
Sorry, I have a hard time explaining myself sometimes, especially when I'm typing quickly. Basically, treating 3T as a bridge of sorts between TTGP and IF/SIF ( people who may have hit the 1yr/6 month mark but aren't going to start or haven't started testing and/or treatments yet, whether they have children already or not or have something like PCOS or MIF but are just continuing to HIO) vs treating 3T solely as a board for people who have a definitive diagnosis/testing plan and haven't had their first child. Does that explanation make a bit more sense?

Ok. I see what you are saying and that may have been what the board was intended for, but that's not what the board has evolved into. I'll agree that it is confusing.

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