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"Leave me alone"

echowysp2echowysp2
in Pre-School and Daycare

My 2 1/2 year old dd has learned to tell people to leave her alone.  Sometimes, I think it's appropriate when her brother is bother her, but not so appropriate when she is mad at us. 

I try to correct her, but she's still at that age when things go a bit over her head.  I don't know if I should start punishing with TO or if I should just see it as a new skill of hers, even though it's not the most polite?

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Re: "Leave me alone"

  • Emilia0101Emilia0101
    At 2.5 I would probably not make a big issue about it. My dd had a phase like this the more attention I brought to it the worse it got. After about a month it finally stopped. I would try to redirect it, I know you don't want mom here right now if you want to be alone you can go to your room.
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  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member

    Whether it is whining, sass or demanding something, I always say, "Nope, try again," and when they were smaller I would supply them with the appropriate words.  So in your case, it would be "Nope try again.  Mommy I am mad at you, I need a break."  And then I would praise the big girl words and give her a break.

    Of course it is rough training, and mine would occasionally refuse to respond or say it over.  At that point I would get on her level and calmly repeat until they responded.  If a tantrum happened, I sit on the floor and wait it out.

    Now that they are older, I will say, Nope, try again, that was rude.  Or Nope try again, one-year olds ask for things with one word. 

    I do not think they are hardwired with how to behave in prosocial ways, and so it is really worth the effort.  I also think taking away the power of words used meanly and empowering them when they use words correctly is helpful. 

    My girls were easy during the twos and so this assertiveness phase was easily rationalized through.  DS was language delayed and twos were hard, so a lot of this positive practice was necessary.  Now I usually only need to use this technique to negotiate civil wars between mmy kids!

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  • echowysp2echowysp2
    imageLoveEeyore:

    Whether it is whining, sass or demanding something, I always say, "Nope, try again," and when they were smaller I would supply them with the appropriate words.  So in your case, it would be "Nope try again.  Mommy I am mad at you, I need a break."  And then I would praise the big girl words and give her a break.

    Of course it is rough training, and mine would occasionally refuse to respond or say it over.  At that point I would get on her level and calmly repeat until they responded.  If a tantrum happened, I sit on the floor and wait it out.

    Now that they are older, I will say, Nope, try again, that was rude.  Or Nope try again, one-year olds ask for things with one word. 

    I do not think they are hardwired with how to behave in prosocial ways, and so it is really worth the effort.  I also think taking away the power of words used meanly and empowering them when they use words correctly is helpful. 

    My girls were easy during the twos and so this assertiveness phase was easily rationalized through.  DS was language delayed and twos were hard, so a lot of this positive practice was necessary.  Now I usually only need to use this technique to negotiate civil wars between mmy kids!

    Yeah, she's just starting to really talk, so I don't want to take it away from her.  And it's something she has heard from her brother, so she's modeling.  I'll try calmly (ugh, an area where I find myself failing a lot lately) modeling the correct way to tell mama to go take a leap...lol.  

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  • christinak22christinak22 member
    My DD says this and I just tell her, "I don't want to leave you alone. I love you too much." Then I usually give her a little space while still being present in the room. Don't know if that's right, but it's what I do.
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