We told SS the sex of the baby

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

Background info: BM received the flight info and knows that DH is going to pick up SS for this summer's visitation. Recently they have decided to keep all parenting conversations in email or text message to keep from he said and she said later.

We called SS a few minutes ago and he was on his way to school (gotta love time zones). DH had him on speakerphone so we could tell him and the whole time we were talking BM was chiming in the background saying "ask your dad when your leaving guam" "ask him when you're coming back." Instead of responding to what we were saying SS was interacting with BM. DH asked him to please listen to him bc he was talking. When we told him he was going to be a big brother to a little sister his response was "my mom wants to know what flight I'm going on." When we asked if he heard what we said he said "Yep. So what flight am I going on?"

I dont know if I'm more irritated with his response or with BM for taking away from our conversations. Its not like we get to announce his first siblings gender to him more than once. I guess this is more than a vent than anything else. I really dont expect a 9 year old to be thrilled for a sister, but he was ecstatic when we told him he was going to have a sibling.

emikat · May 2013

I'm sorry it's difficult like that. We try and ask for private time when we are talking with SS so that these kinds of interruptions don't happen. I probably would have waited to tell him when he wasn't so obviously distracted. Nevertheless, I'm sorry it ended up that way.

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

emikat:
I'm sorry it's difficult like that. We try and ask for private time when we are talking with SS so that these kinds of interruptions don't happen. I probably would have waited to tell him when he wasn't so obviously distracted. Nevertheless, I'm sorry it ended up that way.

We've been trying to get ahold of him for a few days. She actually answered her phone after DH pretty much blew it up. I didnt really want to send a text, but maybe that would have worked out better ....

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

MelRC117:
Congrats on a girl! the appropriate thing would for her to have told SS that she wanted to talked to his dad after him. How annoying!

Thank you! I was excited for a baby and now that I know LO is a girl I can now start planning a nursery. It just makes this whole experience real. And the growing belly lol

I dont know why she even had to speak in the first place sense she already had that info.

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

MelRC117:
*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
MelRC117:
Congrats on a girl! the appropriate thing would for her to have told SS that she wanted to talked to his dad after him. How annoying!
Thank you! I was excited for a baby and now that I know LO is a girl I can now start planning a nursery. It just makes this whole experience real. And the growing belly lol
I dont know why she even had to speak in the first place sense she already had that info.
Because that would be too easy.

hmmm good point

hillsy71813 · May 2013

Maybe BM had SS on speaker phone. We struggle with phone calls because Our daughter feels like she can't be open with us when she is at BMs because BM is always next to her while we are on speaker. We have had to tell SD please stop putting us on speakerphone and go to your room for privacy so we can talk. It's a work in progress. Once SS is with you sit down and have a meaningful conversation. It will be fun to tell him again in person!

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

hillsy71813:
Maybe BM had SS on speaker phone. We struggle with phone calls because Our daughter feels like she can't be open with us when she is at BMs because BM is always next to her while we are on speaker. We have had to tell SD please stop putting us on speakerphone and go to your room for privacy so we can talk. It's a work in progress. Once SS is with you sit down and have a meaningful conversation. It will be fun to tell him again in person!

The next time we'll be with him is June 1. I guess we'll try again then ...

toomanycats1 · May 2013

It's also possible that his reaction had nothing to do with BM and was just the way he processes things like that. We decided to surprise our 5 year old with a Disneyland vacation for his birthday. He had wanted to go back really badly. We set out a scavenger hunt with clues to reveal the surprise and when he figured it out...... nothing. He's a kid that can't handle too much focus on him, and our reveal made him awkward and insecure. He needed time to process. He was excited the next day.

It's possible that SS is like this, and that he'll be excited in time. I'm just saying try not to put too much expectation on his reaction to things, or you might find yourself disappointed next time too. You already told him, so if you tell him again he might feel more pressured to give you the reaction you want, which isn't really fair to him (anymore than its fair to tone down a reaction for BM).

Congrats on your little girl!

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

nyahsbabyblues:
It's also possible that his reaction had nothing to do with BM and was just the way he processes things like that. We decided to surprise our 5 year old with a Disneyland vacation for his birthday. He had wanted to go back really badly. We set out a scavenger hunt with clues to reveal the surprise and when he figured it out...... nothing. He's a kid that can't handle too much focus on him, and our reveal made him awkward and insecure. He needed time to process. He was excited the next day.
It's possible that SS is like this, and that he'll be excited in time. I'm just saying try not to put too much expectation on his reaction to things, or you might find yourself disappointed next time too. You already told him, so if you tell him again he might feel more pressured to give you the reaction you want, which isn't really fair to him (anymore than its fair to tone down a reaction for BM).
Congrats on your little girl!

Thank you for the congratulations. I guess I expected more since SS has been asking for a sibling for years. I just expected something differently. All well. I just have to remind myself not to get booty hurt by the kiddo.

fellesferie · May 2013

DS is kind of like this on the phone. I could tell him that we're going to Disney and getting a new puppy and his very own gokart and he would say "yeah, okay."

I have kind of wondered if it feels less real to him.

jenjen930 · May 2013

We have this problem all the time with BM. She is constantly badgering SD when DH is trying to talk to her. When SD is at our house and wants to call BM we let her do whatever she wants. We don't get the same respect, though. It's frustrating.

I'm sorry the reaction wasn't great. I'll bet he'll act way more excited when you get him in June.

Phantomgirl · May 2013

fellesferie:
DS is kind of like this on the phone. I could tell him that we're going to Disney and getting a new puppy and his very own gokart and he would say "yeah, okay."
I have kind of wondered if it feels less real to him.

felles I remember my dad saying this about my brother. Maybe it is just a boy thing. Girls tend to be more emotional.

Dad was worried about him as a kid. You could tell him all the above and he would respond just like your son.

Dad was always worried about him, but he is just laid back lol.

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