Did anyone decide at 34 weeks to quit BFing? I'm at my wits end. DD isn't on any schedule whatsoever and has actually been eating or at least attached to my boob for the last 3 hours. This isn't the first night like this and she does it early in the morning and around noon as well. I don't know what to do. It feels as though she's drained both breasts but keeps trying to feed and fusses as though she's not getting anything.
Has anyone quit BFing simply to save their sanity? Am I wrong to think switching to formula will get us on a semi schedule of feeding every 2 or 3 hours rather than all day long? I feel so selfish but I'm not feeling a bonding with DD during BFing, I resent the fact that I'm the only one who can feed her. I haven't been able to pump because when she finally stops eating there doesn't feel like there's anything left in me to pump.
Sorry for any typos, mobile bumping.
Re: BFing to FFing at 34 weeks ?
Sounds like she is cluster feeding (google it). I don't think that switching to formula / bottles will necessarily help you get on a schedule. But I definitely relate to how you're feeling about being attached all the time... I'm struggling wtih it too... but then when I think about switching to formula it sounds like a bigger hassle AND I have to pay for it, which sounds like spending money on an inconvenience that isn't necessary for me. My supply is huge, so it isn't like I NEED to switch.
I did wean and switch to formula at 5 weeks. Between poor latch, terrible gas from just about everything I ate, mastitis, plus my 2 1/2 year old really struggled with the new baby and bfing made it harder. I threw in the towel and havent looked back. I BF my daughter til she was 8 months but this experience has not been a good one. I slowly switched to formula and everyone is happier.
For us, it did put LO on a better schedule. Now at 8 weeks he eats every 3 hours and sleeps amazing!
Dont feel guilty. Do whats best for you and your family.
I had a low supply and quit after two weeks. It was just stressful and not worth it in the end. We were already having to supplement with formula so we made the switch to EFF.
ETA: I also feel like I got more time to play/cuddle and sleep! For us, the benefits of stopping outweighed any cons there might have been.
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Just because she's on the boob all the time doesn't mean she's hungry. It's a huge source of comfort for them. My DD will suck for awhile and then I'll let down again and she'll be surprised and pull off because she wasn't expecting (and didn't want!) the milk, but it is what it is.
However, you do need to do what makes you happy. They don't stay on the boob forever, though. Once they're a bit older and can see and do more, they'll be less likely to just hang out there all day, so don't think that what your DD does now is an example of what she'll be like in a few months.
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My LO is now 4 weeks and I breastfed him for the last time a few days ago. I've pumped a few times since then and have been collecting the milk to give him from a bottle but I won't be pumping for much longer because I'm really not producing much. It hasn't been an easy thing to deal with but I don't have much choice but to accept that it is what it is. I'm just glad to have been able to give my son some breast milk for his first month.
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All of this. Sometimes they just need the extra closeness and comfort when they're fresh babies.
All of this. Sometimes they just need the extra closeness and comfort when they're fresh babies.
ETA Meant to quote runaway.
If you want to quit that's certainly okay, BUT your LO is 3 weeks and is most likely going through a 3 week growth spurt. If you hang in there, I bet it will pass in a day or two. She might be sucking b/c she's hungry or just for comfort. Have you tried a paci?
This is all very normal newborn behavior - some babies cluster feed a lot, some babies just want to suck, some babies don't get on a 2-3 hour eating schedule for weeks/months. And formula won't necessarily help that (it might).
If you want to work at increasing your supply, drink a lot of water, eat oatmeal every morning, take Fenugreek, look into brewer's yeast and flax seed and keep nursing as much as your baby wants. By not nursing, you're telling your body not to make that milk.
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This.
Thanks everyone. DD finally fell into a deep sleep a little before 9pm and then slept til almost 2:30am so I slept too! She then ate and slept another 2 hours. When she got up at 5 I actually felt rested so when she finally fell asleep again I took a shower and now I'm enjoying some quiet alone time. I did order some Gerber Good Start formula so I can replace 1 feeding a day giving me a chance to pump and save up a stash for when I return to work. I'm hoping to keep her at mostly bm with 1 bottle of formula a day until she's close to 3 months.
It's amazing how a little sleep and a good shower can enhance my mood so quickly!
This to a "T." My LO is 4 weeks tomorrow and the 1st few days seemed to be going great until we got home from the hospital and I realized she was latching wrong, refused to eat on the left breast and my right nipple was so raw and cracked from the bad latch that I was at my wits end so we started supplementing to give my nipple a chance to heal. After that her latch got better but she always, always seemed hungry and when she did eat it she always seemed frustrated like there wasn't enough there. During pumping sessions I never got more than an ounce total, all day and it just wasn't working. She is now FF but gets the breast at night and in the morning before work for what milk I do have. I was sad about it at first but it is what it is. She wakes every 3-4 hours, eats easily now and is content so that is what we go with.
NO! This is incorrect. What you pump is not a good indicator of how much LO is eating on the boob. If you want to know how much LO is eating the best way is to do a weighted feeding (I think thats what it is called). My hospital lactation group does these for free on fridays, so you may want to check around. Plus in the first week you babies belly is only the size of a marble so you shouldn't be pumping that much. At one week you milk hasn't fully come in as well.
What Sucrets4 has said is correct, my LO wanted to comfort suck a lot. This is great for stimulating production, but it can be difficult for mommy. I watch LO when she is done actually eating I may let her comfort suck some, but a lot of times that is when I give her a soothie and she is content.
OP- you do what is right for you and your LO. If FF is what you think is best go for it. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. If you are wanting to continue BF then stick with it, because it does get better and you and baby will learn to love it. It doesn't have to be all or nothing thing. You can supplement to give yourself a break. Just remeber supplementing to often can also cause a drop in your supply. If you think you have a supply issue and want to continue BF call a lactation consultant, they can be wonderful help.
What you're going through is TOTALLY normal. Totally. And things will get better, and soon, really. You need to do what you feel is best, however, I would encourage you to hang in there. What you're going through now is really the most difficult part of a nursing relationship. I would encourage you to push through now so that you can really see what it's going to be like. If you quit now, you'll never know. You might end up pushing through another couple of weeks and then go on to have a wonderful breastfeeding relationship for months of years, KWIM? I would encourage you to meet with a LC or seek out a Le Leche League group to try to find some support. They can help give you a better idea of what's normal, what's coming up for you around the corner, etc. It could really help you navigate your way through this rough patch.
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Heres a good article about normal newborn behaviour by the leaky boob page.
https://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/
I totally know how you feel. With my first, I cried a lot and felt no one was there to help me (my family, nurses, all of the support who told me 'it gets better' were not much help at 4 am when you're frustrated and crying). I resented DD1 so much. I agree with the others and say do whatever you feel is best. I switched to nursing/pumping/formula at 4 days w/ DD1. Over time, FF was just easier and I even gave up pumping around 4 months or so.
This time, it was a little easier, but I started pumping as soon as I got home from the hospital. I took my pump everywhere with me and would pump right after nursing to build a supply (it was very time consuming and annoying). But I will say we're at almost 5 months now and still pumping and nursing.
Good luck!
While breastfeeding is absolutely fantastic for your baby health-wise, I don't think anything that makes you resentful is going to be healthy for either of you in the long run. It's a personal decision, and whatever you choose to do stand by it as the right choice for yourself.
If it's important to you to try everything you can to hang in there, which it probably is or you wouldn't be asking, I can offer some perspective from someone that still nurses a couple times a day at 20 months.
DS was an expert eater early on, and he ate frequently (sometimes every hour and a half). He would often fall asleep nursing, and while he was detachable, he wouldn't necessarily stay awake if I moved him, and pretty much never napped in his crib. Since he's the first, I rolled with it. I figured if he was relaxing, I could too. I sat on my reclining couch with a computer nearby and streamed movies on Netflix or read books on my kindle. In those first few months I figured my job was to take care of him and recover, not wash dishes or other chores. While it wasn't always true, I found myself feeling less "trapped" and more like I was kicking back and cuddling (and this should be true regardless of whether you BF or FF, you need cuddle time). In retrospect I'm glad I took this approach, because the days when they sleep on your shoulder are really short.
When going out, I just accepted he would need to eat while I was out, and after some practice just didn't find it a very big deal- I needed my nursing cover and somewhere to sit. With a good cover, it's very modest, and if it bothers someone it's probably their attitude and not mine that's a little off. I don't know that FF vs BF should really change the schedule. I did find it convenient that I always had "two warm bottles/clean pacifiers" ready whenever and wherever I was, but plenty of parents have figured out how to work around this problem with FF.
In terms of supply, if she's getting bigger at a healthy rate, you probably don't have a supply problem. Have you learned how to self express yet? You can "check" if anything is coming out, but chances are you're not completely empty, you're just not over-full. As DS weaned to food and I pumped less at work, I found I still had supply even when I wasn't "heavy". I often pumped (to work up a freezer stash) during a nap, maybe an hour after a nursing session. There's a learning curve to pumping too, some of which is dependent on your own anatomy, but practice makes perfect. My sister in law liked to pump one breast while feeding on the other- that totally didn't work for me at all.
I can also say things definitely started to get easier in the 6-8 week mark for me. This is probably related to getting slightly longer stretches of sleep and slightly more normalized hormones. You may just need some more time to adjust and want to give it a couple more weeks. And if you don't, don't let anyone tell you that makes you a bad mom.
Here are a couple of things to consider before you make your final choice:
weigh all suggestions.
it is your decision, and only your decision! Don't let any one tell you exactly what to do!
it sounds like DD is cluster feeding.
pumping, even though you don't feel like there isn't anything left, should help to increase your milk supply. Just pump for 2 min after your milk stops coming out. I had to do this because my DS was in the NICU for a week.
formula may or may not get a schedule going.
don't feel guilty for whatever your decision you make. This is your life.
many moms quit breastfeeding because they needed sanity!
Good Luck! And I hope you make the best decision for you and your family!