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There is an end...right?

lulubugsmamalulubugsmama
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months

I will take any advice or suggestions you ladies throw out there. My DD has inevitably encountered separation anxiety...but it is bad, real bad! If I sit her down on the floor and even almost turn my back...she screams. She screams when I put her in the car and I shut the door and she can no longer see me. When she wakes up in the middle of the night...she screams until I go in. If she is crying and my husband picks her up..she screams until I hold her.  Basically, if I am not in her sight, by her side, or holding her, she screams!

I have let her sleep in my room the last two nights (not in my bed), and she still wakes up screaming but once I say "Mommy is here" and rub her arm or leg, she falls back asleep. It's endearing that she wants her mommy...but mommy is exhausted! How normal is this and when does it end? Crying

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Re: There is an end...right?

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    sarah62584sarah62584 member

    Following this post because my LO is kind of the same. Mainly when people hold her she will SCREAM like someone is pulling her toenail off! I like what PP said about leaving a toy, maybe one of your shirts that smells like you. But bottom line what I have heard over and over is you have to let them cry because if you come to "rescue" them that is only teaching them that they need you to feel secure. I haven't done it yet because nobody wants to hold my screaming kid for that long! :)

    Its hard but think of it like this. If you have a toddler and he wants some candy at the store and you tell him no. He will scream and cry and kick and fight and bite (okay maybe not all of those things) but he will put up a fight because he WANTS it! If you give in to him its teaching him that those negative behaviors = I get candy. You have to stay strong, I know its hard because they are just itty bitty babies...but in the long run it will be better. GL!




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    ThatWasAHootThatWasAHoot member
    It depends on the child, though.  My cousins son is insanely attached to her.  He is 15 months old and it gets worse and worse every time I see them, which is quite often.
    The fact that you realize that it needs to eventually stop is good, though.  I remember my son did this at this age, too.  My daughter is a different child all together and is happy either way.  But I remember he was very attached to me, but not so bad.  I read in a book at one point that "weaning" them from this by not always picking them up, but by just being there, and then less and less, should help.  And giving them a lovie when you leave the room or something.
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    laurenhankeylaurenhankey member
    It will pass, I promise.  My LO goes through bouts of it here an there now but for awhile it was pretty bad.  We play peek-a-boo a lot.  It helps her learn trust and that when we go away we come back.  I don't make my goodbyes real long and drawn out.  I give her a quick kiss, tell her I love her and leave.  Otherwise, I go about my business.  When she was real bad she would be happily bouncing in her bouncer and I'd walk by to go to the bathroom and she'd start screaming.  I'd just say something like "Mommy's going potty".  I think game like peek a boo are really important though until they understand permanance.
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