Registry for baby 2

Khunter7258 · April 2013

So I was talking with my mom about registering with baby 2. She informed me you don't normally have a shower with the 2nd. Is this still the norm or is it a thing of the past and now have a shower with all babies?!
BTW my DD is almost 6, so I have a few clothes, a crib and a changing table left from her.
I feel like most of my friends have had a shower with both, but wasn't sure what was considered norm, I don't want to seem selfish in asking for gifts from everyone twice!! Any thoughts?

bkeane619 · April 2013

I will have a registry in case some close family members want to pick something out to get us but I will not announce it or have another shower.

BrittanyCupcakes · April 2013

It's called a baby shower. It's for the baby. If your kids are close in age and you don't need to replace things, then I'd say it could be tacky. But the one per woman rule is dumb. It's not a mommy shower. If it were, you'd be getting things for yourself, not for the baby.

coronitaextra · April 2013

Is someone throwing you a shower? If no one has stepped up to throw you a shower, which I wouldn't expect with a second baby, then I would assume no one will be buying gifts from your registry.

babydoll22308 · April 2013

If someone offers to throw a showet that is one thing. Its presumptuous to assume you will have one for babies after the first. Most likely you will get gifts for any baby. A registry for a second is a bit much in most situations. You do have an age gap which is a little different circumstances. I guess its what all your friends and family are comfortable with.

yesthisiskim0401 · April 2013

RedheadBaker:
A shower is to welcome a woman into motherhood. So, you only get one.nbsp;That said, I still have a private registry, for two reasons. First, a registry is a checklist of things you plan to purchase, and can be a reference if someone should choose to get you a gift though they're not required to purchase from the registry. Second, most places give you a completion coupon 10 off your purchase.nbsp;

Yep, I totally have a private registry to keep a running list of what we need and I will buy majority of it with completion coupons. Not expecting or even wanting another shower.

Khunter7258 · April 2013

Thanks for the replies!!
No one has really offered, a few friends have mentioned 'this that' about baby showers ie a good friend is due a few weeks behind me and a mutual friend mentioned we should have a joint shower. And to be honest, I wasn't really expecting a shower, but was planning to a registry just in case someone wanted to buy a gift or offered to host a shower as many of you mentioned!
My mom and I were just talking and I mentioned setting up a registry that was her immediate response that you don't usually have a shower for baby 2. Just wanted some other opinions on what people were doing!

kimbo1216 · April 2013

Generally, I'm not a fan, but I think it's situation and circle dependent. We had three showers given for us with DD, who is not even two. We got mostly gender neutral large items. Everyone was so generous last time, I just wouldn't feel right about having another one and would gracefully decline an offer.

muffyvonmuff · April 2013

Have another one, they are 6 years apart thats a pretty big gap...My SIL has 2 girls 9 &12 and just had a baby in December she had a full blown shower with multiple registries and I never even thought twice I just wanted to spoil the crap out of my soon to be nephew. I also had a friend who just threw her own shower and no one I know thought twice about that either. It never occurred tome until I came to this site that people would have those opinions. People who love you want to do nice things for you, let them.

iamsarahw · April 2013

I asked my BDC this same question and out of 30 responses not one of those women said don't have a shower.
In my opinion a shower is a welcome party celebrating a new life. Every life should be separated. If you feel weird about gifts, you can ask people not to bring gifts.

MrsTucker2011 · April 2013

Khunter7258:
Thanks for the replies!! No one has really offered, a few friends have mentioned 'this that' about baby showers ie a good friend is due a few weeks behind me and a mutual friend mentioned we should have a joint shower. And to be honest, I wasn't really expecting a shower, but was planning to a registry just in case someone wanted to buy a gift or offered to host a shower as many of you mentioned! My mom and I were just talking and I mentioned setting up a registry that was her immediate response that you don't usually have a shower for baby 2. Just wanted some other opinions on what people were doing!

I don't like going to joint baby showers. I never know the other person that isn't the one I was invited for, and it's super awkward to be at a party for a person you don't know.

elllaf · April 2013

RedheadBaker:
The baby is not born yet. How do you have a party for someone who isn't there yet? A baby does not care what kind of crib it sleeps in, what kind of stroller it sits in, etc. These items are gifts for the MOTHER to help her care for the child. nbsp;

Hahaha! really? Tell me more...

elllaf · April 2013

iamsarahw:
I asked my BDC this same question and out of 30 responses not one of those women said don't have a shower.
In my opinion a shower is a welcome party celebrating a new life. Every life should be separated. If you feel weird about gifts, you can ask people not to bring gifts.

This!
Just because you have another child doesn't mean you can't celebrate this one! And like others said 6 years is a long time! I hope someone showers you and LO with love!

las7838 · April 2013

Emily Post says second showers are fine as far as etiquette is concerned the guest list should be smaller and more intimate and someone has to offer to throw it.

Scientist23 · April 2013

We will probably have a "meet the baby" BBQ when the baby is born, but I will not be having a second shower. And I will specify no gifts, just good wishes!

There is nothing for us to get (aside from the second seat for our city select lol). If this one is a girl I know people will be coming by with clothes (because who can resist baby girl clothes?) but I would not feel right accepting anything else.

Khunter7258 · April 2013

Wow!! Thanks guys!! Sounds like I will continue my plans with the registry like planned, and see what goes from there!! As a I mentioned before, we still have all the MAJOR items minus car seat, which we still have, but is expired!! so it would mainly just be the normal everyday things that people gift anyway and we aren't finding out what we are having till baby gets here, so clothing will be minimal till after!!
Lots of great ideas, I like the welcome BBQ may just do something like that!! We have a lot of family/friend cookouts at our house in the fall this may just be an excuse for another one!!

jorkz821 · April 2013

I get having a private registry for the completion discount but I really don't get making one "in case someone wants to buy you a gift." Are people not allowed to pick out their own choice of gift anymore?? It's a GIFT. Say thank you, send a note, and move on.

LaurenVW · April 2013

I know on the boards it's not popular. And while I definitely don't agree with anyone throwing themselves a shower, both sides of our families always celebrate each baby. I think each individual life should be celebrated in some way. I am all for a "sprinkle" for the second. I've already gotten 3 offers from family for a sprinkle. I personally wouldn't announce a registry but I'll have one for myself to keep track of what i need and the completion coupon and for anyone who asks.

My friend just had a shower for her 2nd girl only 2 years a part. I literally was excited to celebrate with her. She told me she didn't want gifts and she did not register anywhere. The funny thing about that is that I wished she had a registry so I could get her something she really wanted. I had to be all creative....lol.

So although you'll get backlash from some people, I think you'll get better feedback if you make it about celebrating life and not expecting gifts. I love parties and celebrating with friends and family for any reason.

preggyamy · April 2013

Wow! So many diverse opinions. I personally won't expect a second one. And honestly, we have almost everything. I think of a shower as a way to help the parents prepare for the baby, as there is so much stuff that's needed, and if you start out with nothing, it's quite overwhelming. Guess I'm a bit practical in that regard. Because we have pretty much everything small, I don't think another shower is necessary. And the only thing we really need is a double stroller, and I'm certainly not expecting someone else to get that for us!

jennlin · April 2013

my friends are thrilled at the idea of throwing me another shower (and i will have 2u2!). i think i will register at wherever i want, multiple places, etc...make them public, but not share any of them on the invite. i have a few friends who have had 2u2 showers, so it's not really out of the norm in my circle.

SuperSecretStatus · April 2013

Honestly, where I'm from people tend to have showers for every baby. I never heard anything "bad" about this until coming to this website.

I turned down both offers I got for showers with DD, and I've pretty much shot down anyone wanting to throw me one this time. I'm just not a baby shower kind of girl. People are either going to buy things for the baby or not. If they do, awesome and if not that's cool too.

I didn't have a registry with DD, and I've just started one on Amazon that has about 5 things on it so I can keep a running list of the stuff we'll need. Other than the items on my list, all I'll really need to get are the basics (clothes, diapers, wipes).

Liz4444 · April 2013

has615:
Have another one, they are 6 years apart thats a pretty big gap...My SIL has 2 girls 9 amp;12 and just had a baby in December she had a full blown shower with multiple registries and I never even thought twice I just wanted to spoil the crap out of my soon to be nephew. nbsp;I also had a friend who just threw her own shower and no one I know thought twice about that either. nbsp;It never occurred tome until I came to this site that people would have those opinions. nbsp;People who love you want to do nice things for you, let them. nbsp;

If people want to do nice things for you and buy you presents, they can do so without a party telling them to do it. I did not have a shower nor did I register and received we more gifts then we knew what to do with.

MrsKocal · April 2013

Around here, second showers just aren't done. But if someone wanted to throw one for me, of course I would accept.

I made myself an amazon wishlist just to keep track of the things I need to replace with this LO, but now you ladies are making me think it needs to be a registry so I can get a completion coupon! Good idea!

Bexx24 · April 2013

jorkz821:
I get having a private registry for the completion discount but I really don't get making one "in case someone wants to buy you a gift." Are people not allowed to pick out their own choice of gift anymore?? It's a GIFT. Say thank you, send a note, and move on.

I disagree, most people want to buy needed baby gifts, knowing how much babies require. I think that registries are actually MORE important with second babies as now you really need to fill in specific gaps that you're missing from the first kid.

Khunter7258 · April 2013

Darbie914:
I'm firmly in the 'no shower after the first baby' camp. nbsp;Aside from diapers, wipes, and some clothes, what more could you possibly need if you already have a child? nbsp;If you gave all your baby things away, why should that be anyone else's responsibility to provide for your child?

Well, this is a little harsh, given the fact that after DD was born, we were told we would be lucky if we ever had anymore, so after 4 years of trying with no luck, we gave up and passed on our not as special baby items!! And personally, not only did I want to keep everything as a reminder that I wouldn't ever use them again, I also didn't have the room to store all of it even if I had wanted to keep it!!
Also, I never said that I EXPECTED a shower, just mentioned the idea of a registry and my mom jumped to tell me that you didn't have a shower w baby 2!

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