October 2013 Moms

Baptisms are now public

So my inlaws were at church and the priest we are Catholic announced that all baptisms would be done during church from now on... is this happening every where or is this priest just wonky...he is new! I shutter at bringing my young infant child to a public service.. these used to be private! They will probably still charge too :shrugs:
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Re: Baptisms are now public

  • Both of the parishes I have belonged to have always done public. They're actually kind of nice, because the child is getting welcomed into the Church, and to me it's very appropriate to have the Church present to greet them! It doesn't make it less of a big deal, but rather completes the message of Baptism!
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  • I've never heard of a non-public baptism. We are from a Baptist church, and it's always been done during the service. Our god-daughter's christening was public as well - just a small portion of their normal Sunday morning service.
  • imageLauraSF16:
    They're actually kind of nice, because the child is getting welcomed into the Church, and to me it's very appropriate to have the Church present to greet them! It doesn't make it less of a big deal, but rather completes the message of Baptism!

     

    Yes 

  • I really don't want to bring a baby into a church with usually a lot of sick people...I also always have been to baptisms where its for the family... so for me this is very strange....
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  • I'm Catholic and it has always been public at our church. My sister is Methodist and they also do public baptisms. I agree, it is welcoming your baby (or whatever age the person being baptised) into the church.
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  • Not sure why our church is just starting this now if its become the norm! I was baptised at 6yrs old if I had to be baptized among infants that would of been strange for me as well...lol I understand church welcoming but I am just not used to this at all....sigh
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  • imagecrunchymama11:

    imageJalee85:
    I really don't want to bring a baby into a church with usually a lot of sick people...I also always have been to baptisms where its for the family... so for me this is very strange....

    I understand that. You could have the baptism when the baby is 6 months old (in April) and out of cold/flu season. Plus the baby would have some shots at that point. 


    If I can do that It would be perfect!
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  • It's not like the baby is participating in the sign of peace! I brought my infant to church and she slept in her car seat the whole mass until she was 3 or 4 months old.
    True....but it is just not what I was expectung ...
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  • At our church they have always been semi private, they baptize in groups and the church is only open to the family and those invited. But like I sai groups so there would be at least a dozen kids being baptized one after the other. It's okay because it's a shorter service and they incorporate the kids in the audience to participate. Some sort of children's blessing or somethin like that. They used to do private ones but that was before I was even born.
  • I'm Catholic. When we had DD baptized, it was just our family and the family of another baby being baptized in the church with the priest. They scheduled baptisms like twice a month or something. The church we belong to now does both private and public baptisms. We've been going there for two years and attend mass regularly. Last week, I just saw my first public baptism there since we joined.
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  • You can choose at our church. FWIW, when I was baptized, I was the first baby baptized during a Mass. The priest did not want to perform the baptism during a Mass and tried to tell them it couldn't be done. My parents knew he was wrong and insisted it be during Mass (as the Church prefers them to be done. They are a rite of initiation, and therefore the preference is for it to be done when everyone can come).

    J. was baptized during Mass. A.'s baptism was also supposed to be during Mass, but I hurt my back the night before. And there was no way I could sit through a long Mass. So our priest kindly agreed to perform the baptism outside of Mass.

    Why is bringing baby to Mass a big deal? Won't you be taking LO anyway? (Both LOs have started attending Mass by 2 weeks. They were baptized by 2 months.)
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  • DD's was private. My old church has very strict baptism rules, one of them being only 2 children/families are to be baptized in a private ceremony after 10am mass every other Sunday. This baby will be baptized there as well. I would have no qualms on a public baptism, however. I would love for my church to witness it and share our joy.

  • imageNRyan55:
    imageJalee85:

    It's not like the baby is participating in the sign of peace! I brought my infant to church and she slept in her car seat the whole mass until she was 3 or 4 months old.

    True....but it is just not what I was expectung ...
    It sounds like waiting until spring is your best option. There is no rule that says the baby has to be an infant.
    I agree, I was thinking baby would be 1 to 2 months old but I guess there isn't a time limit on it...I'll just have to express my feeling with this priest....we aren't going regular church attenders but it is our faith and we both want a baptism...I think a person can be religious and not go to church but that's opinion and may not be my child's so I want options open. This seems to be the option that leaves all possibilities open on all sides of the subject....
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  • At the church I went to, when I went to church, they had public baptisms, but I think they also had private ones in the chapel. We're going to get our LO baptized for both our parents sake, but I don't want a public one. As we're not married, and not planning on getting married anytime soon I'm not sure if the priest at "my" Catholic church would even do it, so we may have to find a different church regardless. I think private should always be an option. I feel like it's just asking for a hundred germy people to be around and want to touch your baby.
  • It depends on your parish rules and the priest.

    We did both of the girls in a private ceremony in a 100 year old church that our family friend was the pastor of. However the parish I worked at did both, private just cost more.
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  • imageNRyan55:
    imagecrunchymama11:
    imageNRyan55:
    imagecrunchymama11:

    imageJalee85:
    I really don't want to bring a baby into a church with usually a lot of sick people...I also always have been to baptisms where its for the family... so for me this is very strange....

    I understand that. You could have the baptism when the baby is 6 months old (in April) and out of cold/flu season. Plus the baby would have some shots at that point. 


    It's not like the baby is participating in the sign of peace! I brought my infant to church and she slept in her car seat the whole mass until she was 3 or 4 months old.

    I was referring to her concern about germs. I agree though- my post above said that when we had DD baptized at 3 months she just BF'd the whole time. Little babies are easy to take to church-well, take anywhere! I just personally know sick babies are no bueno and completely understand not wanting to take a NB into a crowded indoor place in the middle of cold/flu season.


    I understand the germ argument, but it is incredibly excessive in my opinion. I will agree that it is ultimately the mom's decision to make and just because I disagree doesn't mean it's wrong!


    Yes it sounds like it is but in my mind a ton of people will ask to see the baby...6 months would be a perfect age... I think half my problem is I wasn't expecting this at all! I had this ideal small baptism in mind and now its been shattered...lol
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  • Regarding baptisms, we belong to a very large Catholic church. We can have a baptism during certain Sunday masses or during certain pre-scheduled Saturdays. We got in to one of the "private" Saturday baptisms - we were one of 15 families and all their guests. A good 200+ people there, but that's our "private."

    I know it's hard to think of taking a very little baby out, but you've gotta do it. If you're nursing, you'll be back out and at the pedi's office within 3-5 days of birth! Once you get yourself comfortable with having a very little one, you start to pick up your every day activities. By 4 weeks DD had been out to restaurants, malls, grocery stores, a couple of birthday parties, etc.  You have to learn to nicely ask others to wash their hands if they want to hold baby, and to not hold baby if they're obviously ill (pretty much everyone ill voluntarily stays away). We also came up with some polite ways of elbowing off strange old ladies who would just walk up to baby wanting to touch her (this happens, a lot - and easiest avoided if you wear baby while out). It sounds scary, but a healthy term baby is much more durable than you may think. 

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  • I'm not Catholic, but ours were all done during the regular service.

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  • imagebatmandi:
    At the church I went to, when I went to church, they had public baptisms, but I think they also had private ones in the chapel. We're going to get our LO baptized for both our parents sake, but I don't want a public one. As we're not married, and not planning on getting married anytime soon I'm not sure if the priest at "my" Catholic church would even do it, so we may have to find a different church regardless. I think private should always be an option. I feel like it's just asking for a hundred germy people to be around and want to touch your baby.

    Catholic Church seems more open now! I know I couldn't be baptized as a baby even though my mom was Catholic because my Dad wouldn't convert so I got baptized at the age of 6. It was such a Hassel! I'm very spiritual and had a Catholic wedding because that is my family's belief. And my wedding to be was a spiritual thing so for me it worked out perfectly. my feelings don't have a religion so I stick with what I got and baptism is part of it..
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  • We had to give an extra 'donation' to have it private. I've seen it where they had all the children lined up for one ceremony.
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  • imageChristineChris:
    Regarding baptisms, we belong to a very large Catholic church. We can have a baptism during certain Sunday masses or during certain prescheduled Saturdays. We got in to one of the "private" Saturday baptisms we were one of 15 families and all their guests. A good 200 people there, but that's our "private."I know it's hard to think of taking a very little baby out, but you've gotta do it. If you're nursing, you'll be back out and at the pedi's office within 35 days of birth! Once you get yourself comfortable with having a very little one, you start to pick up your every day activities. By 4 weeks DD had been out to restaurants, malls,nbsp;grocery stores, a couple of birthday parties, etc.nbsp; You have to learn to nicely ask others to wash their hands if they want to hold baby, and to not hold baby ifnbsp;they're obviously ill pretty much everyone ill voluntarily stays away. We also came up with some polite ways of elbowing off strange old ladies who would just walk up to baby wanting to touchnbsp;her this happens, a lot and easiest avoided if you wear baby while out. It sounds scary, but a healthy termnbsp;baby isnbsp;much more durablenbsp;than you may think.nbsp;

    You also make a good point! Everyone around here seems so hands on, and I have autoimmune issues so I get sick quite easily, but that doesn't mean baby will! And I need remember that as well!
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  • imageChristineChris:
    Regarding baptisms, we belong to a very large Catholic church. We can have a baptism during certain Sunday masses or during certain prescheduled Saturdays. We got in to one of the "private" Saturday baptisms we were one of 15 families and all their guests. A good 200 people there, but that's our "private."I know it's hard to think of taking a very little baby out, but you've gotta do it. If you're nursing, you'll be back out and at the pedi's office within 35 days of birth! Once you get yourself comfortable with having a very little one, you start to pick up your every day activities. By 4 weeks DD had been out to restaurants, malls,nbsp;grocery stores, a couple of birthday parties, etc.nbsp; You have to learn to nicely ask others to wash their hands if they want to hold baby, and to not hold baby ifnbsp;they're obviously ill pretty much everyone ill voluntarily stays away. We also came up with some polite ways of elbowing off strange old ladies who would just walk up to baby wanting to touchnbsp;her this happens, a lot and easiest avoided if you wear baby while out. It sounds scary, but a healthy termnbsp;baby isnbsp;much more durablenbsp;than you may think.nbsp;

    You also make a good point! Everyone around here seems so hands on, and I have autoimmune issues so I get sick quite easily, but that doesn't mean baby will! And I need remember that as well!
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  • Yeah, public baptisms have always been the norm for me too.  I am not Catholic though so I'm not sure how it's normally done for y'all.  Our church never did Christenings with the babies or anything like that.  But we do have baby dedications and the entire congregation prays on the family all together :)  It's really sweet.  We don't get baptized or anything like that until we are old enough to make that decision for ourselves and understand what it means.

    (just in case someone takes this wrong, I do not have a negative opinion of baby baptisms AT ALL)
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  • imageJalee85:
    imageNRyan55:
    imageJalee85:
    It's not like the baby is participating in the sign of peace! I brought my infant to church and she slept in her car seat the whole mass until she was 3 or 4 months old.
    True....but it is just not what I was expectung ...
    It sounds like waiting until spring is your best option. There is no rule that says the baby has to be an infant. I agree, I was thinking baby would be 1 to 2 months old but I guess there isn't a time limit on it...I'll just have to express my feeling with this priest....we aren't going regular church attenders but it is our faith and we both want a baptism...I think a person can be religious and not go to church but that's opinion and may not be my child's so I want options open. This seems to be the option that leaves all possibilities open on all sides of the subject....

     

    Jalee, you've gotten some good advice and reasoning - Sacraments, especially of Initiation, are public, not private events so while some Catholic parishes allow for private baptisms or maybe even prefer them, the norm is to celebrate them during the public liturgy. There's no age restrictions, per se, on baptism so wait until you feel comfortable with the possible exposure to germs in public. Also, I know this isn't a Catholic forum, but I just want to encourage you to attend Mass, get involved in the community. I think it's great you identify yourself as Catholic, but you you can't say you're a part of something you don't participate in it. I don't mean that to sound harsh; Here's an analogy: You can't say you work for Company XYZ if you don't show up for work or that you play on Sports Team ABC if you never go to practices or games. If Catholicism is your faith, Mass is the most important thing you can participate in because it is the most important prayer and act of worship that we have as a community of faith. The Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith, so without receiving the Eucharist at Mass, the very life source the fuels our faith is missing.

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  • I am suddenly thankful that my church doesn't baptize anyone until they're 8 years old. Wink But I guess that's where baby blessings come in anyway, so same concerns (public germyness) apply to that one I guess... not that it's relevant at all for my family (and myself currently), that does not attend church in any form so if it's ever an issue my children will be old enough that common germs won't be such an issue.

    Baptism aside, how long were you going to wait to bring your newborn to church with you? 

  • vvg28vvg28 member
    They charge to baptize? Southern Baptist here they'll dunk you anywhere, anytime you are ready....free of charge. LOL

     

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  • Obviously all churches will be different. We are Presbyterian and it has always been part of the service.  The reason for this is because the congregation takes vows along with the parents to support the family in the raising of their children. That being said, it has to be done when you feel comfortable.  I have never seen anyone get really touchy with a baby at our church, but I am sure this depends. If waiting until baby is 6 months or gets shots makes you feel better, then do it.

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  • My church does baptism parties. It's supposed to be a celebration Jesus was baptized in public. We hold them a few times a year with food and music. There's a class leading up to it for those getting baptized. For infants they do dedication services. Also in public. As both baptism and dedication is a public statement to live right and raise your child right. To me private doesnt make sense. Public statements of servitude can't be made privately.
  • Our church does baby dedications rather than baptisms and they are also incorporated into the church service.  
  • imageHFrizzle:
    I'm not Catholic, but ours were all done during the regular service.


    This is what it was like in the church I grew up in.  And very rarely were babies baptized.  It was done when the person made the decision to get baptized at whatever age.  My brother and cousin were baptized at age 8 or 10 (I can't remember, it was over 20 years ago).  My sister and I never were and I believe one of my cousins was not either - all by choice.

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