May 2013 Moms

Male vs. Female Doctor Preference

My gyno practice is made up of many doctors, a mix of male and female.

When making my appointments, I request a female doctor. I realize it doesn't make a difference to a lot of women, but it's my personal preference to see a woman.

There are plenty of female doctors in the practice, so it shouldn't be an issue, right? Except for the fact that the staff makes some kind of snarky comment each time.

Their attitude got me to thinking that it must not be an issue they encounter often, which may be why it annoys them when I specifically request a female.

Just curious if it makes a difference to any other May Bumpies or not.
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Re: Male vs. Female Doctor Preference

  • I much prefer female doctors. I'm actually super nervous because I had to schedule my 36 week appt with the male doctor at my practice and it will be my first cervical check and my group b strep test. I know I'm probably over stressing it but its just how I'm feeling.
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  • I prefer females, but the main OB at my practice is a male.  I don't know why, but his Caribbean accent make me feel more comfortable around him...

    ETA: I suck at spelling. 

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  • I don't care about male vs female docs. 

     

    When you deliver will they have a male or female doc with you? Maybe it would be wise to start getting used to the male docs to prepare yourself.  

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  • I've always seen women for gyn but my practice has 11 doctors and for OB patients you see all of them since you never know who will be on call.

    That being said I've found all of the men to have great bedside manners and make me feel comfortable. I also figure when I'm in labor I don't care who is down there.. Only that he/she knows what they are doing.

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  • I prefer female but it wouldn't bother me if it was male.
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  • I go to a group practice which has both male and female doctors, though the one I go to the most is a man and he is awesome.  When I was younger, I felt more comfortable with female doctors, but now I don't have a preference.

    I know my group practice encourages OB patients to see every doctor, because you never know who will end up delivering you!

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  • MmW36MmW36 member

    It doesn't make a difference to me. Actually, I prefer the male doctors at the practice I go to-- but that's because they have been there a long time, and the one female doctor started a few months ago. Three of my siblings were actually delivered by one of the doctors we see, so I feel really comfortable with him. 

    But, to be honest, when going in for a non-pregnancy related issue, I used to prefer female doctors. I don't mind asking male doctors about pregnancy stuff, but I felt uncomfortable asking men about birth control or period-related issues, especially when I was younger. Either way, you should feel comfortable when seeing a doctor, and there's nothing wrong with asking for a female doctor. I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way. 

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  • I prefer women OBs, preferably ones who have had children. I am more comfortable and I like to ask them about the choices they made, and why, when considering any decisions I am presented with.

  • When I see civilian OB's, I always request a female. I'm more comfortable with the discussion part with a female. The exams, I don't care either way.
    But when I'm seen at the military hospitals, I don't get a choice, and I'm ok with that too.
  • imagemanzda:
    I don't care about male vs female docs.nbsp;nbsp;When you deliver will they have a male or female doc with you? Maybe it would be wise to start getting used to the male docs to prepare yourself. nbsp;


    When I deliver, I will get whatever doctor is on call. I know that there is no way to guarantee a female and I've totally accepted that a male doctor may deliver my baby. But in the instances where I have a choice, I prefer a female.
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  • My OB is male and I love him, but if I have to see someone else in the practice I prefer a female.
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  • I prefer male doctors, but I can understand why many women prefer females and I think it's rude for them to give you attitude about your preference. 

    My first Gyne was a woman and she was horrible. She presumed that she knew what I was feeling because she was also a women, and actually told me that I was wrong about myself. I was extremely put off by the experience. I have had no such problems with males. I do try to limit the number of people seeing my nether regions though, so I try to stick to the same person for each visit. 

    ETA: I'm seeing a group of midwives for the pregnancy, and I don't mind them. I've only had a problem with one, and it's because she doesn't sound like she knows what she's talking about.  

  • Always had a female so I guess I never thought about it.

    I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with a male OB. I'm sure if it came down to it, it wouldn't matter as long as he was a good one. 

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  • imageCNJ4EVA:
    imagemanzda:
    I don't care about male vs female docs.nbsp;nbsp;When you deliver will they have a male or female doc with you? Maybe it would be wise to start getting used to the male docs to prepare yourself. nbsp;
    When I deliver, I will get whatever doctor is on call. I know that there is no way to guarantee a female and I've totally accepted that a male doctor may deliver my baby. But in the instances where I have a choice, I prefer a female.

    makes sense. Maybe you will get lucky and get one of the ladies. :) 

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  • I prefer a female as well. I feel they are able to understand better what we are going through especially if they have had a baby already. However I will say that I did have a male doctor when I had a PTL scare cause my doctor was out of town, and while I thought it would be weird it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was going to be.

    The receptionist is a wag tho, it's really none of her business who you see or what your reason is for wanting a female. I would of been PO'd.
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  • I will iny go with a female doctor.Once I had to let a male give me my annual bc I was about to lose my insurance and needed to see a doctor immediately.He was an older male(older than my father)! I felt like he was a bit rougher than the females in my previous experience.I was very self conscious and sorta grossed out.I just prefer a female.Im sure there are plenty great male ob/gyn's out there though.
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  • I had always seen female doctors until switching to my new OB. I got fed up with the atmosphere of my last OB's office, obviously this has nothing to do with the fact that she was female. I absolutely love my new OB and it doesn't bother me one bit that he hasn't experienced childbirth himself. He's actually much more sensitive and caring than my old female OB, but she was an ice queen. I guess it all just depends on the individual doctor.



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  • I guess I am in the minority. I would never choose a woman OB or GYN. I have been going since I was 13 and have only ever seen men. I was a little uncomfortable with the female nurses in LD.
  • It doesn't bother me either way.  I've actually found that during the exams, male doctors are gentler than female doctors.  

    The practice I go to now is 2 women and a man, though I think another man is joining in the next couple of weeks.  I've met and liked all the ones that are currently there. 

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  • I have a strong preference towards a female doctor.  I am VERY modest/shy.  I get very nervous before any sort of vaginal exam, to the point where I am sometimes shaking and/or sweating. And that's with female doctors.  I've never had a male doctor and would be very uncomfortable with one. DH is the only male to see that area, and I'd be happy if it stayed that way.

    The practice I go to has 4 OBs (2 male, 2 female) and 1 midwife. You have the choice to go with the OBs and see all 4 (and whoever is on call when you give birth will deliver) or go with the midwife exclusively, and she will deliver the baby for you unless she happens to be on vacation.  Honestly, one of the main reasons I decided to go with her is to avoid the chance of having a male doctor deliver my baby.

    I did make an appointment with one of the other doctors for a second opinion on something and specifically requested one of the female ones, and no one gave me any grief.

    I do realize that once I go into labor all sense of modesty will be out the door.

    I think it is VERY rude and unprofessional for the receptionists to be snarky.  What if you had been abused or raped and that was the reason you were asking for a female doctor? They have no right to judge or comment.

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  • I've had both sex doctors my male doctor was actually much gentler than my female doctor. I don't think it matters I would be more concerned about the job their doing than their sex.
  • If I had a choice, I'd always have a female doctor. However my practice is made up of male and female doctors and midwives and they make sure you see all of them at least once since you don't know who will be there when you deliver. I'm really hoping for one of the midwives or female OBs when I deliver this LO, but if it's one of the male OBs I'm sure it will be fine too. If I'm going to the gyno for non pregnancy related stuff, I stick to females.
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  • I've always gone to the women in my practice. Since BFP they've wanted me to meet the two men as well. One of the males is my favorite now. So I'm cool with both. I thought it would bother me but it totally doesn't.
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  • I do feel a bit more comfortable with a female but for some reason my doctors are usually male. I don't specifically request a female and I didn't search for one. When I needed an OBGYN I just went with a male who came well recommended. As long as the doctor is professional, listens to my concerns, takes me seriously and does their job well I don't mind male or female.
  • i used to prefer female but when i had my DD, i didnt care if it was male of female who saw me most expose. as long as they were professional, thats what really mattered to me. I dont think i could handle a comment from a doctor like "oh you cleaned up today" or something like that. but that sounds like a total male comment too lol
  • My practice is a mix as well. Leading up to my 1st pregnancy I'd always had a female ob/gyn. My practice likes you to see all the OBs before you go into labor and it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. My favorite male dr ended up delivering DS1. I was pushing for 2 hours with this male dr between my legs the whole time. After that, I couldn't care less if I see a male or female dr.
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  • In general, I prefer a female doctor.  My PCP is female.  At my OB, most of the doctors are female, but I have seen one of the male doctors (of 3) and do like him.  I won't have any choice in who delivers the baby, so I was trying to at least meet all of them.

    ETA:  My RE was male and was one of the best doctors I've ever seen.

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  • imageMotherMayEye:

    I prefer women OBs, preferably ones who have had children. I am more comfortable and I like to ask them about the choices they made, and why, when considering any decisions I am presented with.

    I agree with this. 

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  • I much prefer women and am very happy that the 2 OBs in my practice are female.
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  • I've had both male and female doctors before, but for an OB, I also prefer a female who has had children.  It's a bit biased, but I like the idea of my OB having been there and done that rather than just studied it. 

    It's like trying to explain what it feels like when your baby kicks to someone who has never been pregnant.  My sister is a well educated, well read young woman who has seen countless animals give birth (our family used to breed horses growing up).  She nearly jumped out of the car window today when Baby A decided to scoot over and she seen his knee poke out my side.  I tried explaining what it felt like, but I don't think she will fully understand unless she decides to have children.  A male doctor can deliver a 1000 babies, but he will never really know what it's like to be in labor or to push a human being out of his body.

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  • be888be888 member

    I much prefer male doctors. I love my OB, and I don't think him never experiencing childbirth is a big deal. 

    I saw a few female OBs in L & D, and I was not thrilled with their bedside manners.  


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  • imagevic1011:

    It doesn't bother me either way.  I've actually found that during the exams, male doctors are gentler than female doctors.  

    This has been my experience as well. My OB now is male and he's great.  

  • Gender doesn't matter to me anymore at all.  It did when I was first starting yearly PAP's, but now it doesn't phase me at all, especially after having fertility treatments for nearly three years with all male doctors.  I must have had literally hundreds of vaginal exams and ultrasounds during that time.  It became so routine, I don't even blink now. 

    On top of that, my practice has 5 doctors, 2 are men, and they are both the coolest guys.  The women are a little uptight, so I much prefer to get in with one of the men who makes the experience a little more light hearted.

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  • Yup, I prefer female doctors.  I feel I can relate to them easier since most of them have personal experience with what I'm going through (particularly pregnancy and childbirth).  I don't care as much if it's just a PCP, but OBGYN or MW, I prefer a woman. 
  • KLJ3KLJ3 member
    I chose a female PCP and an all female GYN office, only to discover that the main OBGYN at said office did not actually practice OB. The only OBs in town are affiliated with the hospital, and all three are male.

    I want to go running back to my GYN after LO is born, but that has more to do with personality than anything male vs. female. That being said, I am VERY uncomfortable around the youngest OB, which isn't his fault. I'm just really weirded out getting examined by a guy my age. The [much] older OBs don't bother me nearly as much.

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  • I have my reasons to see only a female. Luckily I have more females in my practice an only 2 males. But I have been seeing my MW for 6mo now. But seriously that is rude that they make you feel like that or make an appoint to be rude just because of your decision. Honestly screw them, this is your body. And since you are late in the game, but find a new practice after baby!
  • Before I got pregnant it was a female doctor and only her. Since being pregnant it doesn't matter so long as the person knows what they're doing and I feel comfortable with him/her
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  • imagestar510:

    I think it is VERY rude and unprofessional for the receptionists to be snarky.  What if you had been abused or raped and that was the reason you were asking for a female doctor? They have no right to judge or comment.

    This was the first thought that came to mind for me. Hugely insensitive and unprofessional behavior.

    Personally, I tend to prefer women, and my practice does not have any male doctors. Most of the docs I saw for IUI/IVF procedures were male, though, and it didn't really bother me. There do seem to be a few more weird/awkward moments (one male doc called my ovaries "the girls," for example, which kind of came off as an awkward attempt to bond/lighten the mood) than with female docs. It just feels more relaxed and matter of fact with a woman doc. Also, they tend to have smaller hands, which is nice when you tend to tense up and make things hurt during internals...

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  • I'd probably have to say male OB but female MW.

    I find male OBs to be a bit more no nonsense and to the point which I like. It's calming for me. Whereas I want my MW to have given birth before.



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  • Doesn't matter to me.. I've had both. My current OB is a male and he's great! I also meet with his female nurses often and they are great as well.

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