DD wont stay in bed, constantly gets up! Help!

IPmama · April 2013

My DD is close to 2 1/2 yrs old, we transitioned her to a toddler bed almost two weeks ago, and we are still having problems. She will not stay in bed, as soon as we leave the room, she is up. Basically what she is doing, is playing a game. She gets up, hides in the hallway, or comes and talks to us, or asks us for milk, etc. It can take 1- 2 1/2 hrs to get her to stay in her room and sleep.

I am losing it! I can't keep my cool! This is getting ridiculous! I am fine if she stays in her room till she is tired then lays herself down, but she won't do that either. We have tried no talking and just physically take her to the bed, over and over. We have tried time outs, we are trying this behavior chart with stickers, and we have even bribed her with toys. Nothing has worked. I know we aren't being consistent with how we approach this. And that should change. But any other ideas?

My child is extremely strong willed and I don't know how to handle it.

TiffanyBerry · April 2013

If you've done all those things in two weeks, you haven't been nearly consistent enough for anything to work for a stubborn child. You may need to return her to her bed 25 times a night for two weeks. The first time you don't take her back, and you let her stay out of her room or you give her attention positive OR negative, you have just taught her that she just has to be more persistent and try more times and she will get her way.

I know it's frustrating, but she isn't doing it to intentionally annoy you. You can be more stubborn than her!

clee2009 · April 2013

When my daughter moved from her crib into a toddler bed we put a gate on her bedroom door. Her bedroom door is right at the top of a set of steps so it was really for safety reasons. Reading your post I can imagine our nights would still be much like yours if it wasn't for that gate (she is almost 4).

hokiemel7 · April 2013

Do you still have your crib available? We tried going to a twin bed with our DD and she was way too hyper and was pretty much bouncing off the walls from the excitement. Since she wouldn't settle down we had her crib back up right next to the bed and she slept in it for another 4-5 nights. She'd always ask about sleeping in her "Big Girl Bed" and we'd tell her that "yes you can, but you have to SLEEP in it". It finally clicked for her and it was a total 180 after those few days of being about to see her new bed but not being able to sleep in it. We left the choice up to her so she couldn't be mad at us about the decision. Now she goes right to bed in it without issues. Now naps are a different story...

ASmallWonder · April 2013

We gated his door and ignored his games. Going back up there to return him to bed just made him realize he was getting attention for his antics. He finally gave up and went to sleep.

honeybee111 · April 2013

TiffanyBerry:
If you've done all those things in two weeks, you haven't been nearly consistent enough for anything to work for a stubborn child. You may need to return her to her bed 25 times a night for two weeks. The first time you don't take her back, and you let her stay out of her room or you give her attention positive OR negative, you have just taught her that she just has to be more persistent and try more times and she will get her way. I know it's frustrating, but she isn't doing it to intentionally annoy you. You can be more stubborn than her!

I agree with this. It took us 2 weeks of being EXTREMELY consistent for DD to learn to stay in her bed. DH and I would take turns parking ourselves outside in the hallway with the baby monitor so we could watch her. The minute she swung her leg over the side of her bed, one of us would go in and put her back. No talking, kisses, attention, nothing.

rnbeth477 · April 2013

We put a latch at the top of the door on the outside and used his baby monitor to listen. We let him just have free reign of his room for naptime rest time and bedtime. At first, he was all over the room but after I few days he would just get in bed when we said goodnight and he'd stay there. He doesn't even try to leave his room anymore.

meganandchase · April 2013

When DD gets up, take her right back to bed. Do not talk to her. If you can manage it (I couldn't but DH could) don't even give her any eye contact. The first night we did this with DS, we literally took him to his room over 100 times. It was awful and lots of crying for Mommy. The second night was bad too, but by night 5, he stayed in his room.

I realize this sounds awful, and those first two nights ARE awful. But when you have a newborn and a 2 year old, and not one of you is getting decent sleep, drastic measures are justifiable.

Amandelic · April 2013

LO got a cold right after we moved her so she was cuddled etc. When she got better, for two nights I just kept redirecting her back to bed and by the third night she stayed in her bed. We also gated her door so that she does not wander at night and in the morning. She now wakes up and plays in her room. It was not easy at first but be consistent and she will sleep.

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DD wont stay in bed, constantly gets up! Help!

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