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October 2013 Moms
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My father sucks

tmccord21tmccord21 member
in October 2013 Moms

Ok so background- My parents divorced when I was 12. Dad remarried and my stepmom was really good about making it a point to get together. About 7yrs years ago he freaking disappeared. Come to find out my stepmom left him bc of his drinking problem. He fell off the earth and thats when I realized stepmom was the glue holding it together. 3yrs ago when I was getting married I was able to hunt his a$$ down and invite him to the engagement party. He showed up with his new GF. Nice enough lady. Super trashy but that's a totally different post lol They both came to the wedding (Aug 2011). He then disappeared again. My grandma arranged a dinner this past December and my father and GF show up. That was the last time I saw him. 

So this is my issue- I call on tuesday to tell him he is going to be a grandpa (this will be is first grandchild) His cell phone isn't receiving calls. I call the house line. His GF answers and acts like she doesn't know who the F I am. Helllooooo he only has 2 kids. I asked for my freaking "Dad." It finally registers in her empty head and she says he isn't there so I leave a message. I call back the next day and same thing. She says he's not there. I then leave my cell number so there are no excuses for him not to call. So its now 4 days since the 1st message. Do I call again?  I feel like there is a high probability that his GF isn't giving him the messages. Crazy but she is kind of the jealous type. I'm tempted to just give up on him but for baby's sake I would like a relationship with him.  Very frustrating.

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Re: My father sucks

  • T3hHusbandT3hHusband member
    Call. Every. Day.
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  • tmccord21tmccord21 member

    imageT3hHusband:
    Call. Every. Day.

     

    I'll call again in the AM. If this goes on for another wee

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  • T3hHusbandT3hHusband member
    You never know when you won't hear his voice again


    here..pfft stupid emotions let me spell correctly.
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  • taylormarie923taylormarie923 member
    I wouldn't give up calling yet. If you feel like it is getting to the point where he isn't going to call back, maybe tell her the news. As much as that would suck having to break the news this way, it may snap her brain into realizing this is a pretty big
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  • chicsahmchicsahm member
    I am mixed on this one. Most people are saying to call but at the same time, he left... and never looked back, popped in at random times and disappeared again. I know you want a relationship with him, but do you think that he wants one with you? (I am not
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  • tmccord21tmccord21 member

    imagechicsahm:
    I am mixed on this one. Most people are saying to call but at the same time, he left... and never looked back, poppe
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  • Jalee85Jalee85 member
    I had to give up on my Father but I haven't physically seem him since I was 8 yes old! He is a bad drunk to! And caused so much stress in my life! I never told him I was getting married but I did FB message him when I found out I was pregnant but I refuse
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  • CousinVickiCousinVicki member

    honestly, this is pretty toxic, and complicated.  i would give him an ultimatum, ether be in my life (and future grandchild's) or you are out of it, for good.   you have to make peace with one of these, otherwise it sounds like you might be i


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  • coronitaextracoronitaextra member
    I would be glad to be rid of him. I don't understand people who want a relationship with someone who sucks and or doesn't want a relationship with them just because they are blood related. Blood sucks. I would focus on the family that's been there for you
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  • taylormarie923taylormarie923 member
    I agree with parts of all of these responses. I will say that it is pretty big of him to come to your wedding, regardless of if anyone forced him to. And I agree that an ultimatum is required, I actually put one out there today to my dad because I have tr
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  • reneeandbillreneeandbill
    I know it is ideal for grandparents to be in the picture. But it doesn't sound like he was a very good father, so its doubtful he'll be a good grandfather. My mother kept me away from her father when I was growing up because of the bad relationship betwee
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  • tmccord21tmccord21 member
    You guys are all right. I think I just wanted to put out the effort. This way if he still sucks at being my dad at least I know I tried to reach out. I have an amazing stepdad so the kid will have a Grandpa. I'll give him a few more rings. Just want to ge
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  • lakiapellotlakiapellot member
    I think I would try and actually get him on the phone so you know for sure it was his choice not to return your calls and not his gf just not relaying your messages. But no matter how it turns out if he's not in your baby's life its not the end of the wor
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  • beesquar3dbeesquar3d member
    I would keep trying to get in touch with him. It sounds like he's not in a good place with his drinking. The gf isn't helping the situation.

    My mom is an alcoholic in recovery and before we started trying, my husband and I had a talk about ho
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  • MrsMommyQMrsMommyQ member

    imagebeesquar3d:
    I would keep trying to get in touch with him. It sounds like he's not in a good place with his drinking. .
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  • Labarre5Labarre5 member

    imageT3hHusband:
    You never know when you won't hear his voice again here..pfft stupid emotions let me spell correctly.
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