How old were you married, and how old are you now TTC?

BonnieBlue83 · April 2013

I got married at 28 and I'll be 30 when we TTC - MIL and SIL are EXTREMELY harsh about the fact that we really need to wait and enjoy each other for years. They keep using SIL as an example - they were married 8 years before TTC - but they were also married at 23!

I try to explain I don't have the luxury (or want) of waiting 8 years before I start TTC - just curious on what time lines/ages other people were on!

MrsHennyBee · April 2013

I was 25 when we got married, and now I am 26 TTC #1.

Jellyfish42 · April 2013

I got married at 21 (DH was 28), and we were ttc (or rather not tta) for 2 months already. We had lived together for 3 years before we got married and felt like it was good time to start a family together. I am 23 now and DH is 30 and we are still trying for our first LO.

As for your MIL and SIL. You don't have to explain anything to them. Who cares what they think? Are you and your DH ready to start a family? If both of you say yes, then do it! What you and your DH do is not their business and certainly not a decision that they have any say on, especially when it comes to TTC. If SIL waited 8 years to start TTC, thats her choice. You can start whenever you and your DH want to. If the subject keeps coming up, change the subject to something else. If they persist, simply tell them its none of their business and leave it at that. If you have to leave where they are to escape it, do so. If you want to be proactive, maybe have your DH tell them to back off.

mrspharmd · April 2013

I was 22 when I got married, am now 23 and have been TTC since January.

candrew05 · April 2013

I was 24 when we got married and TTC at 25, I am now 26.
Most of my DH's family is quick to say "don't rush" but it doesn't affect how we feel or think about the situation.

emsrdh03 · April 2013

I was 27 when I got married. 28 when we started TTC. I was newly pregnant on our First Anniversary and 29 when DS was born. I'm now 31 TTC 2. DH is a year younger than me.

I'd tell your inlaws to butt out. It's no body's business but yours and your SO when you decide to start a family.

okballet16 · April 2013

I was 20 when we got married, DH 28. We started trying right away. I am now 21.

AngieV84 · April 2013

I turned 27 the day after we got married, and started ttc right after. My MIL told my maid of honor that she definitely doesn't want to be a grandma anytime soon, but it isn't her decision. Don't worry about what anyone else says, as long as you guys are ready, it is completely up to you.

CMSullivan326 · April 2013

I've been with DH for 5 years.
I got pregnant with DS when I was 21.
Had DS when I was 22.
Got married to DH when I was 23.
Been TFAS for a while now.
I'm 25, DH is 32.

I had a LOT of people tell me I was too young to be married and having babies. Sure, I'm young, but this is the life I want. I've wanted to be a wife and mother for longer than I can remember. Most of my friends are still going out, partying, you name it. I'm happy being a Mom and wife. Who cares what anyone else thinks?! It's your life, not theirs. Live it the way you want and do what makes you happy!

lorirachel · April 2013

got married when I was 23 and started TTC when I was 24. Now am 25 and still at it

Marcilene1 · April 2013

We got married when I was already 5 months pregnant with my daughter. I got pregnant again when my daughter was about 3 months old (kind of unexpected). We are leaving things open right now for #3, and will try in earnest starting in the fall if nothing happens by then. I have just experienced a chemical pregnancy (I think, going to confirm on Monday), but I'm kind of just trying to not make too big a deal about it? I know that sounds bad, but I guess that's just where I am with it right now. Anyway, I'm 30.

I agree with PP your family planning is totally your business, and yours alone.

ABColeslaw · April 2013

I did things backward. My husband and I got engaged when we were 25. We had dated for 1 year in highschool and then I moved away and we dated other people. But when we got back together, things moved quickly. We both really wanted children, so when I was told that I would have fertility issues and that I had to get a move on, we decided to hold off the wedding and put all our money into any treatments I would need. We started ttc at 25. I got pregnant at 27 (roughly three years) and lost my baby girl before viability. We tried for another 18 months. I had a couple early miscarriages and we decided to give up, we accepted that we wouldn't be parents and decided to have a big wedding. I stopped all medications, stopped temping and charting, stopped POS left and right. Just planned a wedding. We got married when we were both 28. Two weeks after my wedding I started feeling like crap....crap. So because I liked peeing on things, I took a leftover test and almost died from shock that I was pregnant...with no help. That pregnancy resulted in my Asher, the love of my life

I was 29 when I had him. Now I am 32, my son just turned three and we are ttc again.

Mikki62 · April 2013

I got married at 23. Started TTC at 25. Got pregnant at 26. Now 28 and TTC #2.

mrs_tacos · April 2013

When we got married I was 20 and DH was 22. We're TTC and I'm currently 26 and DH is 28.

alexa126 · April 2013

Got married at 24 and DH was 24 as well. Now we just started TTC at 25...

RayRay007 · April 2013

Moved in together at 22 (me) and 28 (dh), married at 26 (me) and 32 (dh), ttc at 28 (me) and 34 (dh).

ChristyML · April 2013

I got married when I was 21, and we started ttc right away (well, we never tta, but we were wanting a child anytime). I had our first child when I was 22, almost 23. Should I get pregnant this year, I will have our second child when I will be 24.

I got the "you should wait a few years" too, but it's really no one's business but your (and your SO) own. I get it most from my aunt, but I just ignore her, since she usually has very hurtful comments about me having children in general.

Good luck!

jschwind22 · April 2013

I was 23 when we got married. We started TTC when I was 28. I am 30 now.

MissMandyD · April 2013

We got married and when I was 24 and DH was 26. We are now 30 and 32 and started TTC 3 months ago. We waited until we felt ready. You just have to do what works for you.

leavehouse · April 2013

Married at 26 after a 6 year looooong engagement. Started TTC at 30.

Current age: 32 and DH will be 36 in July.

jjgrl55 · April 2013

HatchetFace:
I got married at 26 and will be 28 when we start TTC our first. DH was 23 when we got married, and will be 25 when we start trying. Cradle robber! MEOW. My mother in law has been very vocal about us waiting five years. It hurt at first, but now it doesn't bother me. I value and respect her opinion, but it's not going to change our decision. My sister and her now ex husband waited 7 years afer they got married and were together for 15 years. They got divorced when their son was 3. Waiting years to get pregnant doesn't save a failing relationship, just like rushing it doean't.

Definitely agree with Hatchet here. Waiting or not won't do anything for a bad relationship. I also take the attitude that you have to make decisions based on what is right for you now, not on some trumped up fear of what might/maybe/could happen in the future.

Married at 21, TTC at 23. Even if I was pregnant now, I would be 24 before I had my first.

dancer7889 · April 2013

Married at 21. Started ttc last summer and i was and still am 23. DH just turned 25.

CalinAZ · April 2013

Moved in together at 22. Married at 24. TTC at 26. 27 now and hoping it happens before I turn 28 (though I definitely won't give birth younger than 28). I've wanted kids since forever, and was always sort of hoping I'd have my 2(ish) before 30, but that doesn't seem at all feasible anymore.

My parents were very vocal about not getting married until 26 and not having kids for at least 2 years after marriage. Sister got a lot of grief for daring to get pregnant less than a year after marriage, but my parents love being grandparents now, so all's well that ends well. I'm pretty sure my parents would be thrilled if I got pregnant now. And, despite them being pretty unhappy with my "young" marriage, they adore my husband and seem to have no issues on this side of things so, most likely once you have a little one, it'll become a moot point.

brneyemom2 · April 2013

I actually got married young. I was 18, dh was 21. I'm now 26 dh is 29. We had ds1 when I was 20 and ds2 when I was 22. Now we are ttc3. All in all we started young but I wouldn't trade it for the world and our family has been behind us 100 percent.

ETA ugh...mobile bumping.

krdesi · April 2013

26 when we got married and 26 when we started ttc...27 now though.

amandoza23 · April 2013

I was 19 when I got married and we are TTC 1 and I'm now 22. We are just fortunate enough to have our careers set and really good healthcare so it made sense for us to start sooner rather than later. If you're ready then I don't see why you should wait. Age shouldn't really be much of a factor.

Ariellecromer · April 2013

I was 21 when my Dh and I got married. He was 25. We are now 22 and 26, just now TTC1. But even if I was pregnant now I'd be 23 when they were born. We've been together for 5 years now.

angelsnight · April 2013

I was 31 when we got married, 32 when we began TTC and I'll be 34 next month.

Tayleena · April 2013

I was 21 when I got married, and I am now a month from being 26, and I have been trying since I was 23. I am not having success, and my older sister, who is 38 had Polysystic ovarian syndrome in her late 20's. Took her four years to have a baby, so I am worried.

modernfairytale8709 · April 2013

I got married at 20 (DH was 31) and we started TTC when I was 23.

No one can tell you when to start. I wouldn't even entertain the discussion, especially if they keep using that example.

Every relationship is different. We probably would have started sooner than 3 years, but we were weekend warrior remodeling our house.

Mt SIL preached about how she and her H waited 5 years, but now her boys are 5 and 7, and her marriage is still shot to hell. Waiting longer doesn't make anything better, it's being on the same page that makes it work.

E&B0811 · April 2013

I was 25 when I got married and am 31 TTC 1.

As for your MIL and SIL, it is none of their damn business what you and your DH decide to do. It's hard to have ILs that are so opinionated. Mine are too. But frankly the decision to have a baby is yours and DH alone. If you are confident in your plan that's enough.

Sorry to hear your family is giving you the business. GL!

sunlavender · April 2013

Married at 27, started TTC at 28.

peanutmuse · April 2013

HatchetFace:
My sister and her now ex husband waited 7 years afer they got married and were together for 15 years. They got divorced when their son was 3. Waiting years to get pregnant doesn't save a failing relationship, just like rushing it doesn't.

This is a very valid point.

But in reality, all of the talk about how old/young other people are really has zero relationship to your life, OP.

My perception is that getting married young and having kids young causes infidelity and divorce. But I am not so naive to believe that it happens that way for everyone. For the record, I have 4 friends (or friends of my husband's) who have either cheated on their spouses or been cheated on. Every single one of them got married before they were 23. Two of them have children, two do not. So I can understand why people say to wait. However, the experiences of other people have absolutely nothing to your experience. For every story on one side, there's a story on the other side. Each person is different, each relationship is different.

ETA: I am 35. Married at 33, started trying when I was 34. My husband is a year younger than me. We've been together for 7 years.

I do know a couple of young marriages with children that have been successful, so I wanted to throw that out there. It's just further proof that there is no one size fits all.

BrendaW09 · April 2013

I got married at 27, DH was 32 and I was/am 28 when starting TTC.

Unknown · April 2013

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flowerx2 · April 2013

I was 31 when we got married and started TTC a few months after the wedding.

ziggy903 · April 2013

Married: me 21, H 22.

Ttc: me 22, H 23

Our birthdays are in June though, so when we actually HAVE a baby well be at least one year older.

flgirl20134 · April 2013

I was 26 and DH was 28 when we got married. We are now 29 and 31 TTC.

I agree that it's completely YOUR choice and not your families place.

TTC was a big decision for us. For a long time I had no desire or maternal instincts for kids. Then a few months ago everything changed and I was hit with baby fever. I can't imagine never feeling this way before. DH wanted me to talk to my family before TTC and get advice. I was strongly against telling everyone, but he really pushed it. I'm not close with my parents, so I talked to my GM who is like a mom to me. She was totally against trying now. She said I was too young, even though I'm 30 this yr, own 2 homes, have a good job, have traveled extensively, etc. and should wait. She asked if this was because my friends are having kids and I don't want to feel left out. I was hurt and offended. She thinks I should travel more and have more time with DH. We have been together for 7 yrs and traveled and have a great marriage. I wound up telling her 2days later we decided to "wait". My point is that it's your choice!

Mochadoodle · April 2013

Married @ 20

TTC @ 22

sweetpea2003 · April 2013

Married at 22, Started TTC at 25..........Thanks to IF, had baby #1 at 28 and baby #2 at 29. Will TTC #3 in a few months and I will be 32.

stargazer08 · April 2013

I was 19 when I got married. DD was born when I was 21. We started TTC #2 when I was 24. I just turned 26 and we're still TTC #2. My ILs hinted (not so subtly) that we should wait for a while before TTC #1, and were surprised when we announced we were pregnant with DD. But as soon as she was born they couldn't have been happier. They hate that we live four hours from them now, because for a couple years we lived 5 minutes from them. Now they're hinting (not so subtly) that they want another grandchild.

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