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FTM: Baby Shower Dilemma

VCKVCK
in Baby Showers

I am a FTM at 17 weeks and I need a little direction with this baby shower thing. So far, a few people have offered to throw me a shower. (Although it's nice that people care, I secretly hoped I would not have to have a shower.) Here is my dilemma...

My mom called last night to tell me she wants to give me a shower. She literally has NO money.I am not kidding when I say she and my stepfather are one step away from being homeless.:( She wants me to get back to her with dates and I thanked her and told her I would. Additionally, she moved out of state 12 years ago, so the cost of coming out in town is probably more than she can afford. Help. Please give me some advice.

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Re: FTM: Baby Shower Dilemma

  • mben1119mben1119 member
    Just nicely tell her no thank you. Tell her you don't want a shower.
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    imagediscobelle:
    If you truly don't want a shower, don't have one.  It's fine to politely decline.
    This. 
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    What ECB said.  Play up the "you're the grandma and you shouldn't be throwing the shower" thing.
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  • LuCloLuClo member
    I would definitely follow what pp said.  What about asking her to host a 'meet the baby' get-together afterward for friends and family in her area? No gifts, no fancy food, no expense other than punch and chips. That way she would still feel like she
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  • abell77abell77 member
    If you truly do not want to have a shower, then politely decline the offers from all who have offered.  If you have decided to accept at least one of the offers, perhaps you could decline your mom's offer by saying that others have already offered (w
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  • lisa5201lisa5201 member

    She might be relieved to find out that someone else has offered. If she really is completely broke, she might have been doing it out of obligation and a kind heart, but planning a party out-of-state with no money sounds disasterous. 

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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member

    I agree with ECB.  In my family the grandma-to-be does not host a shower and neither does a sister of the MTB.  It just isn't done in my family.  It is not out of line to tell her that. 

    If she insists on having a part in t

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  • VCKVCK
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  • MichelleAppleMichelleApple member
    What about an after baby shower? I had some Friends that didn't want a shower so to get people off their back they mentioned that they rather have something after the baby was born so people could meet the baby. A couple friends did tht and a few didn't a
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