i don't have anyone to talk to about this and i'm just over it. my baby is almost 4 months old, i'm seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist and my medicine has been upped 3 times already. i feel no different whatsoever. my counselor keeps saying all this bull about how i just have to grin and bear it, just make it through because it will lift eventually. no sh!t, but it lifting in 6 months and waiting through a thousand medicine changes won't mean a thing if i've driven into oncoming traffic just to shut my baby up. i keep having panic attacks in the morning when my husband leaves for work and at night when it's time to go to bed. i never ever want to wake up to this again. i hate my children and my life and i'm stuck here. i chose this and i hate it. i just want to run away and be someone else but i'd have to steal from my husband to do that since i don't work and it's not like i have any kind of skill to get a job with anyways. and god knows i'd never be able to be with anyone else since i'm so mutilated and deformed from 2 pregnancies and csections. my life is over and i'm stuck in hell.
i just don't want to do this anymore and no one has help or advice. i just want it to be over.