Absentee father

ReeceFamily · April 2013

I'm lying here awake at 3:30 am feeling pissed and sad. DH has been coming increasingly disengaged with LO to the extent that today, when he had the day off work, he spent 8 hours shut in his office playing video games. In some ways I get it, because my father and stepmom were here the previous 2 days and I know company can be exhausting. I also know that LO is very mommycentric right now and can be fussy when DH takes her. But he has been really hands off with her and I'm starting to feel like a single mother. It's bringing up emotional issues for me, because my own father was really emotionally distant when I was growing up, even though he was technically present, and it had a huge negative affect on me. I've talked to DH a few times, but I'm not sure how to get him engaged. He has a history of holing up and playing video games, but he wanted a child so badly and his own mother was so disengaged I really thought he'd be a better father. Thoughts? Thanks for letting me vent.

dulcemariamar1 · April 2013

I am sorry you are feeling sad.

Everyone needs to have "me" time but IMO 8 hours is a crazy amount of time when you probably have stuff to do around the house and with LO. That wouldnt work in my house at least.

If you already talked to hi

Soon2bBivens · April 2013

I totally understand and went through this same turmoil with my DH and my first born and kinda again now with the second. I remember sitting there crying my eyes out to him because there was no bond between he and DD. I basically told him that she cries w

emja0214 · April 2013

Do you think he know what to do? Does he have baby experience? Has he ever fed your DD? That is something to ease him in and will soothe your daughter when she is upset because she is hungry. I don't know if you BF or not, but it can be a bottle of you

ReeceFamily · April 2013

Thank you all for the replies, it makes me feel better. I have tried getting DH involved with bath time, and to him it came across as me assigning him a chore, so I let it go until our communication improved. I do think talking to a therapist might be go

jobiann · April 2013

I get the whole "me" time thing but 8 hours is too much. If my husband did that I'd knock him on the head! Sounds like you guys need some couple time so you can communicate what he is feeling. I know my H gets overwhelmed sometimes and he asks if he ca

sbevmc09 · April 2013

Yeah... 8 hours of "me time" is ridiculous when there's a baby to care for in the picture. I mean, unless this was some sort of agreed upon thing, but it doesn't sound like it was.

You guys definitely need to work this out or I would

AppleJacks81 · April 2013

I would be upset too. If he isn't comfortable with the baby then maybe you can ask him to take on non baby responsibilities. Laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, housework, etc. that wat you and baby can relax and play, And he gets time to himself.....pr

mariagarcia495 · April 2013

It is so bad when father forget about taking care of baby while taking care of other responsibilities. You should sit and talk with your hubby about this I hope he will realize his responsibilities and he will start thinking this.

PrideandJoy29 · April 2013

I'd be upset too. He needs to pitch in more. Do you think it's because he's not sure how to care for her? Maybe he would benefit from some parenting books.

2u2wow · April 2013

i'm thinking there are other issues here....regardless of a child or not there is no way DH would want to nor would i "let" (i use that loosely!) him play video games all day. don't you have stuff to do around the house?

could you suggest a

nicole3090 · April 2013

I am sorry he is acting like that and that you are left with those feelings.

My DH has a video game problem as well. I got to the point where I would feed DS then go hand him off to my husband, whether he was playing a game or not. I didn't giv

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