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thinking about doing it on my own...

lvpmlvpm
in Single Parents

hi everyone-

i'd love to get some advice and feedback on my situation.  i'm currently single (with no options in sight), living 3,000 miles away from my family, and thinking about getting pregnant.  oh yeah, i'm 40 too.  anyway, i've been "thinking" about this for about 6 months now and next month i'm going in to get some eggs frozen.  i feel like i can't commit to full-time motherhood just yet - or at least i can't wrap my head around how i will ever be able to do it all (for the rest of my life!).  financially, i can afford it.  i make a good living, but have a highly demanding job (which is also another reason i can't wrap my head around being a single parent because my job takes up a lot of my time and energy).  and, when i start thinking about how much little $ will be left for me (with full time child care and all the other things a child needs), well i just get overwhelmed...

i guess i'm just looking to see if anyone on this board is a single mom, with no family help, and a high-powered job - is doing it...  how do you do it?  and do you miss your freedom?  

 i don't want to make a mistake.  i don't want to have the baby and think "oh my god, what did i do?".  because there's no return policy ;)...   

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Re: thinking about doing it on my own...

  • mel1987mel1987 member
    I think it's a choice you should make soon. Being a mother is wonderful and selfless, it's worth giving up some freedom IMO. GL
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  • UnknownUnknown

    I think you have to decide if motherhood is something you truly want and understand just how much you are willing to sacrifice.  I cannot say exactly what the sacrifices will be for you, but do some serious thinking about it.

    I am 40 and nev

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  • LightTouchLightTouch

    How I became a single mom is different than you, but I did choose to leave my husband when LO was only a few months old.  I have a career, and not family close by.  When LO is sick or it is a holiday and DC is closed, I have to take off.&nbsp

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  • tracy41tracy41 member
    My advice is that if you know beyond a doubt you want to have a child and the only option is to do it on your own then whatever sacrifices you have to make are worth it. Kids change your perspective entirely. My job is demanding and I am completely detach
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  • lvpmlvpm
    Wow - thank you ladies so much - it's so helpful to hear other people's perspectives.  I think that I am going to do a full time nanny the first year (even though it's ridiculous!!!) and I'm just going to have to see how that goes.  I usually wo
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  • tig594tig594 member
    I am going into parenthood as a single parent and I am 42.  My one and only will be here next week.  Will it be hard?  I'm sure.  But I will manage and I am sure you will, too.  I am betting you won't regret it for a minute.&
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  • DaringMissDaringMiss member

    Have you considered fostering an older child?  Your work schedule wouldn't be such a problem with an older child who could let themselves into the house, etc. 

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  • Runaway22Runaway22 member

    Per my post above... newborn care while single and alone sucks. It really, really does. I assume it gets easier, and eventually will be extremely rewarding, but it's SO, so, so hard at the beginning. If you're in a good place financially, that will hel

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  • rachelorachelo

    II will be doing it on my own -- without a high-powered job -- because I know for me that motherhood is absolutely the ONE thing in my life that I'm actually SUPPOSED to do. I've wanted to be a mom since the moment I came out of my own mother!

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