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February 2012 Moms
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NBR. Need advice...long

NM86NM86 member
in February 2012 Moms

Okay, so my DH and I have DS and also an almost 6 year old stepdaughter. We have her more than her mom, but DH and her mom have her equal nights a week. My stepdaughter never eats regular food. She throws fits and demands, yes a 5 year old who demands, that DH go and buy her McDonalds and give her soda. Her mom has confirmed that she does indeed go out and gets her what she wants?

So the rule at our house is, if you do not like what is being served for dinner, than you can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you do not have to eat it all, but then you do not get dessert. Works great. Stepdaughter eats food and the world goes on.

BUT every time we have a family dinner at MIL?s house my stepdaughter knows how to push buttons and get what she wants. She refuses to eat anything, even PB&J and will only eat strawberries, which MIL makes sure to serve EVERY SINGLE TIME because she knows that is what my stepdaughter likes. That?s all fine and well, but strawberries do not make a meal. Then she goes on to have way too many cookies for dessert. During the whole time DH and I are struggling to keep it together while FIL keeps piling strawberries and cookies on to her plate and SIL is glaring at us for insisting that my stepdaughter not have any dessert if she refuses to eat a normal meal (she actually left the room once and said ?I can?t watch this? ?seriously, I wish I was making this stuff up)

 It?s not like we were yelling at my stepdaughter or causing a scene. We calmly explained the rules as we always do. But my stepdaughter knows what?s going on and uses all the tension to her advantage as any child would. Family dinners suck and I feel like it?s an unnecessary struggle.

So, tomorrow night is another fantastic family dinner at MIL?s. I really want to write an email to MIL, FIL, and SIL explaining how I feel and that I would appreciate it if they followed our lead on this whole dinner struggle. It would be fine if we had my stepdaughter all the time so this type of thing wouldn?t really matter, but we don?t. We don?t have her all the time, so our home is really the only balanced meals she gets so I feel I need to explain in words they can read and internalize, why we feel it?s important for her to stop eating freaking strawberries and cookies?ugh.

Anyway, is this a bad idea? DH is a pansy and whenever he tries to speak up SIL is right there to kick him down. I would explain it logically and even quote some stuff off of the American Academy of Pediatrics website to show we are not just against strawberries?

Thoughts?

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Re: NBR. Need advice...long

  • jmccall79jmccall79 member
    She's y'all kid and your responsibility to make sure she eats well. If they can't help in that then I think it would be time to go home! What are they going to do when your son is old enough to act in this manner...undermine everything you say? If you

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  • jja0812jja0812 member
    Personally, I would tell your husband that until his parents stop pulling this crap, they can forget family dinners. The strawberries are not the issue. It's the fact that they refuse to respect you and are effectively undermining any headway you are maki
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  • pinkshades05pinkshades05 member

    imageJessicameron:
    Personally, I would tell your husband that until his parents stop pulling this crap, they can forget family dinn

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  • pennyandandypennyandandy member
    imagebearsbearsbears:
    imagepinks

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  • 2chatter2chatter member
    IME the manipulation of situations like these - from ILs and skids - doesn't improve with age. I enjoy the advice on the Blended Families board as well, especially for things like this. Regardless of step or bio, DH's parents are overstepping. I have f
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