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missmodeste
member
Friday Discussion kids and weddings
missmodeste
member
For mobile: kid and weddings.Tell me to stop being so butthurt about the ever so controversial kids and weddings topic. Sorry it tl,dr.
The backstory: BIL gets engaged at Christmas and announce a month later, via email, they are getting married in march. Actually, MIL sent a mass email to everyone asking for a headcount so they could book a venue. Wedding will be in the state where Bride's parents live so everyone is traveling to be there. And we live in a separate state with no family nearby.
So, MIL calls us excited because yay weddings and all. We're excited too and start talking about details, flights time off etc. She tells us no kids invited which includes our two, 2.5 and 9 months.
I had no kids at my wedding but there were no kids in the family or friends at the time. Before having kids, I understood that desire but didn't understand what it really meant. After kids, nbd to me. So, DH and I are a little butthurt but we wait to talk to the bride and groom before any decisions are made. We call and BIL wants DH to be best man, which he is.
Basically BIL, SIL AND MIL are all in agreement no kids because they will and I quote "take away from the bride's day". So fine, I'm sad that MIL and BIL don't want them there but it is what it is. MIL guilt tripped me by saying I needed to go and support bride and I'm rude for not going.
I opted to not go rather than hiring a baby sitter in a different state because my DD has major separation issues. I've never left her with anyone and she won't even let inlaws or my parents hold her because they are in a sense strangers to her. I mean, that's a lot of money to spend to get there and I wouldn't enjoy myself while my kid/s screamed. And by not inviting my kids, they essentially excluded me too. DH left today so I'm butthurt all over again.
FWIW, wedding is at 10am and at a garden with buffet.
So what say you, am I overly sensitive or was it a low blow?
Sorry for typos, typing with one hand!
The backstory: BIL gets engaged at Christmas and announce a month later, via email, they are getting married in march. Actually, MIL sent a mass email to everyone asking for a headcount so they could book a venue. Wedding will be in the state where Bride's parents live so everyone is traveling to be there. And we live in a separate state with no family nearby.
So, MIL calls us excited because yay weddings and all. We're excited too and start talking about details, flights time off etc. She tells us no kids invited which includes our two, 2.5 and 9 months.
I had no kids at my wedding but there were no kids in the family or friends at the time. Before having kids, I understood that desire but didn't understand what it really meant. After kids, nbd to me. So, DH and I are a little butthurt but we wait to talk to the bride and groom before any decisions are made. We call and BIL wants DH to be best man, which he is.
Basically BIL, SIL AND MIL are all in agreement no kids because they will and I quote "take away from the bride's day". So fine, I'm sad that MIL and BIL don't want them there but it is what it is. MIL guilt tripped me by saying I needed to go and support bride and I'm rude for not going.
I opted to not go rather than hiring a baby sitter in a different state because my DD has major separation issues. I've never left her with anyone and she won't even let inlaws or my parents hold her because they are in a sense strangers to her. I mean, that's a lot of money to spend to get there and I wouldn't enjoy myself while my kid/s screamed. And by not inviting my kids, they essentially excluded me too. DH left today so I'm butthurt all over again.
FWIW, wedding is at 10am and at a garden with buffet.
So what say you, am I overly sensitive or was it a low blow?
Sorry for typos, typing with one hand!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Friday Discussion kids and weddings
Everyone is different but we had zero kids at ours except SIL's two kids. I didnt want children taking over the dance floor, and in our case it was packed with our guests. Also it was a night for parents to let loose so that was awesome for a lot of pe
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I do think it can be a little weird when a brother's, sister's, or BIL/SIL's kids aren't invited to a wedding, even if it is a more elegant venue. I get the no kids at a wedding thing, but when they're your own nieces or nephews? Come on.
My kids
I'm of the opinion that while it's well within a couple's rights to not have kids at their wedding, I honestly find it lame. I would never tell that to someone who wanted no kids, but TBH I really do find it lame and unnecessary. I've never
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My brother didn't invite our kids to his wedding either. No other children were invited, but there were no other children to invite (her sisters didn't have any kids).
I was also hurt. Honestly, I am still hurt by it, and I really di
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
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I'm not sure how I could have done trial runs...to clarify, my parents also don't live near us. We had 2.5 months notice between engagement and wedding.
So what, fly my mom to my house for a
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I am in 100% agreement with I Heart the 80's. We have a black tie wedding next month for my niece and my kids were invited. There is no chance I would bring them. None.
I cannot understand why people take this so personall
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Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I wonder if I would have wanted my nephew at my wedding had he been born.
Oh she is totally trying to teach them a lesson...too bad the
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I don't much mind if children are invited or not; I'm in the "their wedding, their choice" camp.
However, what I do mind, is the continuous BADGERING by the MOG and grand-MOG about not coming.
The respect should go both ways. The
I don't really care either way, but this situation happened to us this past summer. We had a 6 month old and I was EBF and we didn't really care about the wedding anyway (DH's first cousin.) I think if the bride and groom want to specify no kids, that'
had to change my sn
Miracle Baby #1 - March 2012
I have never been to an adults only wedding.
I think it is rude of THEM to expect you to travel for their wedding and to expect you to leave your two small children with strangers.
this all the way. dont be surprised
Natural M/c 12/13/08 at 8w5d
It was great getting to see everyone but since it was my husband's famil
SAHM to 4 kiddos... K (5/05), N (4/09), C (11/10) and Baby A 1/13/14
She had a flower girl and ring bearer. They look about 5/6ish. No idea who they are related to, she's an only child.
Does this change anything for anyone?
This.
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