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Not sure how to respond?

Tigger & poohTigger & pooh member
in Late Term and Child Loss
So maybe this isn't a big deal and I am being overly sensitive but I was wondering how others would respond to this email.  My next door neighbor is Due april 14th two days before my due date would have been with Ella.  Today she sent an email to me and two other neighbors wondering if any of us could be on call to watch her son if when she goes into labor.  I don't know why this seems like such a blow to me, I know her baby eventually has to come,  its not her fault my little girl is gone.  but I just don't know if I want to know the exact time she goes into labor knowing I won't be having my baby.  I am being really selfish aren't I?  I am the only one around during the day so I really should tell her I can help out, but I really don't want to.  Wwyd?
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Re: Not sure how to respond?

  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member
    If you don't want to help, don't.  I've learned over the past year that I have to do what I feel I need to do and stop worrying about what people think or how they feel about it.  Does it seem selfish?  Sure.  But we have to take care of ourselves and that means mentally and emotionally too.

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

     

    corbinsmommy.blogspot.com


     

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  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member

    First off you are in no way being selfish. Please don't think that. You suffered a great loss and you do not have to be there for others at all until you are ready.

    I disliked all pregnant people after I lost Sydney it is totally normal. What you are feeling is normal.

    I had a hard time being around other kids and babies of any kind after we lost Sydney. Personally I wouldn't help out I would just explain that you are sorry but you are just not able to help at this point. You are still grieving and then say congratulations and thats it.

    We need to protect our hearts as often as we can and if this hurts you then don't do it!!!!

    Heather

    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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  • jess123456jess123456 member
    imageHeatherhah:

    First off you are in no way being selfish. Please don't think that. You suffered a great loss and you do not have to be there for others at all until you are ready.

    I disliked all pregnant people after I lost Sydney it is totally normal. What you are feeling is normal.

    I had a hard time being around other kids and babies of any kind after we lost Sydney. Personally I wouldn't help out I would just explain that you are sorry but you are just not able to help at this point. You are still grieving and then say congratulations and thats it.

    We need to protect our hearts as often as we can and if this hurts you then don't do it!!!!

    Heather


    I completely agree. Do what you need to do for you. You are not a bad person. You are a grieving mother. Hugs to you. 

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  • Mrs NiceMrs Nice member
    Ticker warning






    I also agree with PPs. When she goes into labor she will be in a happy, excited bubble that her baby is coming. You don't need the reminder that that should be you too. It's not fair for you to have to act happy for her and be to be involved in It. It would be like a slap in the face. You need to take care of you first. If your not ready, don't rush things. I'm sure she could find someone else.

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

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  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
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    imagephancykat:
    Tickernbsp;nbsp;I think it's insensitive she asked you in the first place. It's going to be hard enough to see her with her baby, like PPs said, you need to protect your heart.


    This. I don't think you're being selfish at all. On the contrary, I think it's selfish of her to assume that this is somrthing you could do at this point. Our closest friends had a baby three months after we were due five months after our loss and it took me a whole month before I was able to even contact her to say congratulations. If you don't think you can do it right now, then don't.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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