those with traveling SOs

solsburyhill · March 2013

DH travels at least a full week a month and then usually one or two more small (2night) trips a month. Augie's never been bothered by it before. For him it's out of site, out of mind. But this trip he's been asking for Dad. DH hasn't set up a skype account yet and didn't want to do it on a public internet connection so we didn't try it yet. But how do you deal? We're definitely going to skype next trip. I just feel bad for Aug because it's so clear this time that he really misses dad.

solsburyhill · March 2013

Also, DH is in a bowling league on Thursdays during the winter. He's been doing it for years and I'm happy he has it as his "thing", it's good for him.

But it gets hard when he leaves Monday morning, gets home Thursday and goes straight to bowling. A lot of times he'll find a sub but this year there aren't any extra players on their team so finding a sub is really hard. He's missed 3 of the last 5 weeks so he really has to go tonight.

Poor Augie has been asking for Dad since Tuesday when he woke up. DH will get home about 5:30 and have to leave by 6pm to bowl and won't be back before bedtime. I know DH can't help it, I know it's hard for him too, and I don't want him to quit bowling, but man, it sucks.

I almost wish he'd go straight to bowling instead of just quick stop home. Because let's be honest, at least 15 minutes of that half hour at home will be spent in the bathroom pooping ....

linzica · March 2013

Aw, thats sweet Augie misses his dad. H doesn't travel much so I can't help you with that, but does work a ton. I honestly don't think we could deal with him being on a team on top of the hours he puts in, although once it gets warm, I'll lose him every other weekend to golfing. He does try to accommodate for our changing family and schedules.

Maybe you and your H need to sit down and reassess your priorities for next year when bowling comes up again. Maybe a weekend team? or something that gets together every other week? I'm sure he doesn't want Augie to miss him so badly, and when you have number 2, A is going to need more attention from daddy.

Jcraul · March 2013

The pooping thing is great! Yeah, I think maybe I'd ask Dh to get ready at work to go straight to bowling too. It is sweet that Augie misses his Daddy.

solsburyhill · March 2013

linzica:

Aw, thats sweet Augie misses his dad. H doesn't travel much so I can't help you with that, but does work a ton. I honestly don't think we could deal with him being on a team on top of the hours he puts in, although once it gets warm, I'll lose him every other weekend to golfing. He does try to accommodate for our changing family and schedules.

Maybe you and your H need to sit down and reassess your priorities for next year when bowling comes up again. Maybe a weekend team? or something that gets together every other week? I'm sure he doesn't want Augie to miss him so badly, and when you have number 2, A is going to need more attention from daddy.

I'm soooo torn on this.

I think it's super important for us to each have our "me" time so I do support the bowling league. When he's not traveling it's great. It's our night to order pizza and for Augie and I to have some fun just us.

But it's really unfair for him to be gone all week and then immediately leave again. I have a rule that if he's going to be gone on a weekend he can't travel the week before or after. For the most part that rule is obeyed but at the end of the day work is work and if something comes up, he can't help it.

I knew having a traveling husband would be hard. But I thought more about it from how it would be hard for ME, not for Augie. My dad traveled ALL the time growing up so he missed recitals, concerts, plays, softball games, homecoming, everything. But DH travels less and it's well planned out so I figured he could be home for the important stuff. But now I realize a plain old Thursday night sitting at home is just important to Augie : (

I don't know where the compromise is though. That he needs to have more guys on his team next year so he can have a sub on the weeks he travels?

linzica · March 2013

solsburyhill:
linzica:

Aw, thats sweet Augie misses his dad. H doesn't travel much so I can't help you with that, but does work a ton. I honestly don't think we could deal with him being on a team on top of the hours he puts in, although once it gets warm, I'll lose him every other weekend to golfing. He does try to accommodate for our changing family and schedules.

Maybe you and your H need to sit down and reassess your priorities for next year when bowling comes up again. Maybe a weekend team? or something that gets together every other week? I'm sure he doesn't want Augie to miss him so badly, and when you have number 2, A is going to need more attention from daddy.

I'm soooo torn on this.

I think it's super important for us to each have our "me" time so I do support the bowling league. When he's not traveling it's great. It's our night to order pizza and for Augie and I to have some fun just us.

But it's really unfair for him to be gone all week and then immediately leave again. I have a rule that if he's going to be gone on a weekend he can't travel the week before or after. For the most part that rule is obeyed but at the end of the day work is work and if something comes up, he can't help it.

I knew having a traveling husband would be hard. But I thought more about it from how it would be hard for ME, not for Augie. My dad traveled ALL the time growing up so he missed recitals, concerts, plays, softball games, homecoming, everything. But DH travels less and it's well planned out so I figured he could be home for the important stuff. But now I realize a plain old Thursday night sitting at home is just important to Augie : (

I don't know where the compromise is though. That he needs to have more guys on his team next year so he can have a sub on the weeks he travels?

Just talk to him and come up with some options together. Ask him to give you some real solutions that can ensure that Augie gets his daddy time.

And I agree, its not fair to A that dad comes home, gets him all excited to see him and then leaves within a few minutes. He should go right to bowling.

dominickana · March 2013

Awww I feel bad for Augie. My husband used to travel a lot for work but Gaby never really seem worried about it thank God. I would have her "IM" him almost every night and she would see my cell phone and inmediately say "Papi!" lol. I'm not sure of what advice to give you but I do agree that you will have to sit down with your H and figure out how you guys will make it work before #2 arrives. DH and I had to make a decision because there was way too much traveling involved in our parts since we owned a business abroad so we decided to actually sell it in order for us all to be together in one place. Good luck and I hope the Skyping helps.

MsCrispy · March 2013

solsburyhill:

I think it's super important for us to each have our "me" time so I do support the bowling league. When he's not traveling it's great. It's our night to order pizza and for Augie and I to have some fun just us.

Sols - Do you get a night to have "me" time? (And I'm not counting date night with A while your DH is bowling.)

I agree that is important to each have your own things, but it is also important to have balance. "Me" time has to go both ways. Just another thing to mention.

northerngirl11 · March 2013

I don't really have anything to make it easier but with SO here six days gone seven sometimes eight cole really misses his daddy and points to pictures and calls for him and then I make a point to talk to him and show I understand he's missing him and so on and then start a new activity. Hopefully your H has a solution and can put your mind at ease.

roxpink · March 2013

Well since DH travels 75% of the year we are pretty use to things! I think DH misses Madison more than she really does. However every morning she points to the picture of him in her room and says daddy daddy daddy. She is so use to seeing me on the phone everytime she hears it she picks up her pretend phone and say hello or daddy daddy daddy! Kind of pulls at your heart a little

So we both got iPads and iPhones and do a lot of FaceTime. Also sometimes our schedules don't match up and we can just send videos back and forth. Madison loves watching them of her dad being silly. She will kiss the screen and talk with him. I also constantly send him videos of her and the new things she does so he isn't missing out either.

what is so great about all these videos we have is we plan on putting them all together one day on a disc for us!!

shelley1002 · March 2013

We have the opposite problem. C wants very little to do with DH. Won't let DH hold him. They play and interact but C has recently become reattached to me and cries and runs whenever DH tries to pick him up, even when it is to see something C is asking to see.

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