- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Attachment Parenting
mrsmonak
member
Very stubborn sleeper - help/hope for baby #2?
mrsmonak
member
Hey! My son is 19 months old, and I am expecting baby boy #2 in June. Big brother has never been a good sleeper. In the beginning he would wake up about every 45 minutes for months (I had overactive letdown and severe oversupply which caused him gas and discomfort - not to mention explosive diarrhea constantly). I'm wondering if that was his sleep foundation or something, and that is why he is the way he is. But after my supply issue calmed down, he slept longer. He didn't start sleeping through the night until after a year, and even now he will often wake once.
My biggest issue now is that he will not sleep anywhere but in his crib or nursing. If he falls asleep nursing, he will wake up if I try to move him. Until a couple of months ago, he would only take naps if he was attached to me, but I've been able to break that somehow and he will sleep in his crib for naps. Sleeping in his crib at night hasn't really been an issue, just nap time. Once in a while, he will fall asleep in the car, but again, I am unable to transfer him. He will never "crash" while playing or anything like I see so many other babies do. Not once. He won't even sleep at anyone else's house, in anyone else's arms, etc. The moment I go to pick him up or put him down while he's asleep, he wakes up and will not fall back asleep.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is - did I somehow do this to him, or is it just his personality? I want to avoid having this issue with #2 if at all possible. I wonder how much of it was his rough beginning with sleep, how much of it was the excessive nursing I had to do that might have made him dependent, and how much of it was because I just never put him down. =] Thanks, ladies!
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Very stubborn sleeper - help/hope for baby #2?
I think it might be a combo of both his personality and what you did. I say that because my DD is the same way. She has never sttn either and when I was BF'ing she woke up constantly to nurse. I finally had to stop at a year because I was back at work and she never let me sleep. I bedshare with her so she will not sleep without me. She has stayed over with my sister twice. The first time she slept 4hrs and then a 1hr nap. The 2nd time she slept 3hrs and no nap. That was the last time shes stayed anywhere.
All babies are different though so maybe baby #2 will be the opposite. Thats what Im hoping for when the time comes! GL
I say personality. Some kiddos just aren't sleepers.
DD is a non sleeper. Always has been. She more or less takes after her father.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
Largely personality if you ask me.
DD1 isn't a sleeper. Never has been. I kid you not, every single time for the first six weeks if we sat her down even for a second she screamed bloody murder. Getting her to sleep anywhere--crib, cosleeper, swing, bouncer--was impossible. Nursing to sleep or wearing were the only ways she would go down. We bedshared and she nursed all throughout the night until she was a year and I weaned to get pregnant. She too never crashes. All those pictures my friends post on FB of their kid passed out in their jumper/highchair/etc? Not DD1! At 28 months she still doesn't STTN and can't put herself to sleep.
DD2 is a totally different story. She's fine being sat down and rarely cries. I'm able to lay her down anywhere and she will put herself to sleep. Only recently has she begun to fall asleep while nursing. Sometimes I try to rock her and she squirms like crazy because she wants to be laid down. We bedshare and when she wakes I don't have to nurse her to get her back down.
I'm parenting the same but with different personalities I'm seeing different outcomes.
I'm also in the personality camp. DD1 had her days and nights mixed up until she was six weeks old. Then, she slept great for a couple months. Then, her sleep just fell apart. I tried everything to get her to go to bed and she would stay up later and later and later...At one point, I was struggling to get her to bed at 5,6, and even 7 in the morning. This went on for almost a year and finally, I just gave up. When DH got home from work (at 1:00am) I would go to bed and let him put her to sleep. She started going to bed around 3 am each night. After I quit fighting with her to go to sleep, she started doing much better. Now she typically goes to bed around midnight, but after we do her bedtime routine, she can fall asleep by herself. She sleeps all night, most nights. Sometimes she wakes up to go pee. Things are great, now, but it was a REALLY, REALLY long three years.
DD2 has been a delightful sleepper since I quit drinking caffeine when she was six weeks old. She goes to bed pretty easily, and only wakes up about once a night, as long as we're sleeping next to each other. She nurses, then falls back asleep with no trouble.
One of the things that was hardest to adjust to was that DD1 only nursed to sleep or fell asleep in the car or her swing. DD2 didn't nurse to sleep until she was two or three months old. She didn't like the swing and it is not possible to transfer her from the car to the bed without her totally waking up. She liked to be just laid down to fall asleep on her own. (I felt totally neglectful, just setting her down and walking away.) Now, she either nurses or snuggles to sleep.
I agree that it's largely personality. There are things you can do to kind of nudge a kid along the path they are already going down, but I don't think there's much you can do to cause a radical change in their sleep patterns. I just don't think you can alter their natural rhythm very much.
Neither of mine are great sleepers, which is probably not what you want to hear, but they are very different sleepers in a lot of ways like many of the pps have described. What worked for DD is not what works for DS, and vice versa. So will your second be just like your first? It is safe to say no.