Pregnant after a Loss

Sad update and goodbye

Ladies - thank you all for the love and support you've shown me over my time on PGAL. It has helped me through the scary times. Unfortunately at our appointment yesterday, our LO did not have a heartbeat. I am devastated, heartbroken, and defeated. I know now, without a doubt, that I will never carry a child. I will never experience the kicks, watch my bump grow, or give birth. After six losses, I know that if we are to have a family, it will be through "unconventional" means. It is going to take a long time to truly give up the dream of carrying children and grieve for the children I've lost. I wish everyone the best and a happy and healthy 9 months. Thank you again for your kind words, encouragement, and love. It means the world to me.

TTC since April 2010
BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
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~All AL always welcome~

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Re: Sad update and goodbye

  • I'm so sorry for your loss
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  • Sammer, I'm soo very sorry for your loss.  you will be in my T&P's.  ((HUGS))
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    My Beautiful Boys! 

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    PgAL/PAL welcome, always!
  • I am so sorry, sammer. Huge (((((((((HUGS)))))))))). Thinking of you.
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    My Blog: One Emerald
    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • Oh Sammer, I'm so so sorry. Lots of T&Ps to you and your DH. {{hugs}}
    Mr. & Mrs. B, Est. 10.23.2009
    m/c: 9/06/12
    LTB: 10/23/13
    Baby B 2.0 EDD: 3/15/16

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  • :( I'm so sorry for your loss. May the love of your friends and family support during this difficult time.  

    BFP #1 - Missed M/C, D&C 3.21.11

    BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP  #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
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  • Lurking

    Oh sammer, I am just so, so sorry to read this. I don't know what words to say. I know they can't take away your pain and grief. I am sending you huge hugs and many thoughts and prayers for healing and recovery physically, emotionally, mentally, and in all ways.

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

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    ***All always welcome!!***

  • So sorry for your loss. I hope that you find peace soon.
  • I am so so sorry for your loss. So many hugs your way.

    BFP #1 5.26.08 DD born 1.4.09
    BFP #2 3.11.12 m/c 3.26.12
    BFP #3 10.7.12 m/c 10.27.12
    BFP #4 2.24.13 ectopic MTX 3.13.13 Right tube removed 3.29.13
    BFP #5 5.27.13 DS born 1.22.14
     

    BFP #6 4.14.16

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  • I'm so heartbroken to read this. I'm very sorry for you and your family and wish you all the best in healing and moving forward with whatever it is you decide is best for you. Lots of love.
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

    imageimage
  • Oh sammer I'm so sorry!!!  I've been waiting to hear an update from you, but this is not the update anyone wanted.  Huge, huge ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))).
    BFP #1: 3/3/12, EDD: 11/11/12, Missed M/C: 4/3/12 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 4/6/12
    BFP #2: 6/29/12, EDD: 3/8/13, Natural M/C: 7/16/12 @ 6 weeks 2 days
    Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Hypothyroidism
    BFP #3: Kendall Grace, born 9/30/13
    BFP #4: 9/3/14, EDD: 5/16/15, Missed M/C: 10/6/14 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 10/8/14
    Never in our arms, forever in our hearts Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I'm so sorry for this loss and all your previous losses. Please take care of yourself.
    TTC#1 
    BFP 2/14/11, missed m/c 9 weeks. d&e 3/24/11
    BFP 12/10/11 d&e at 13wk+4days 2/17/12
    Dx with Balanced Robertsonian Translocation (13;14) moving on to IVF w/ PGD
    IVF #1 (May 2012) 13R, 10F, 5 blasts, ONE NORMAL frozen no transfer
    IVF #2 (July 2012) 17R, 8F, 5  blasts, ONE NORMAL 6dt on 7/12/2012- c/p
    IVF #3 (Sept. 2012) 39R, 25F, 13 blasts,  3 NORMALS! Freeze-all due to high E2.
    FET #1 10/23- 2 expanded blasts, Beta #1 11/1- 113, Beta #2 11/4-351, Beta #3 11/7- 1213
    Hailey Michelle born July 12, 2013

    TTC #2 
    FET -1/14- c/p
    IVF #4 (Feb 2014)- 49R, 28F, 13 blasts, 7 NORMALS! eSET of a normal blast on 2/24/14, 6 frosties.
    Beta #1 3/4/14- 105. Beta #2 3/7/13- 397 EDD-11/11/14. 1st u/s 3/20- 6w2d lil' bean with 120hb. 7w0d- lil bean's hb was 144. Graduated from RE 3/25/14.
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  • I'm so sorry Sammer (Hugs)


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    Married 07/17/2010
    Diagnosed with PCOS 10/20/2010 
    TTC since Oct 2010 
    BFP #1 March 31st 2011 Due December 10 2011 
    Missed m/c discovered June 2nd 2011 at 12w4d
    D&C scheduled June 7th 2011 at 13w2d
    Found out our baby boy had Triploidy XXY through embryopathology
    BFP #2 September 28th 2011 Due June 8th 2012
    Missed m/c discovered November 20th 2011 at 11w2d
    D&C November 29th 2011 at 12w4d
    Found out our baby girl had Monosomy X through embryopathology
    BFP #3 April 24th 2012 Due January 5th 2013
    Betas falling on 04/26/12 Chemical Pregnancy
    RPL testing done, multi nodular goiters on thyroid discovered.

    BFP #4 November 22nd 2012, Due August 5th 2013
    Betas: 17 @ 9dpo, 62 @ 11dpo, 124 @ 12dpo, 321 @ 14dpo 720 @ 16dpo 13,805 @ 23 dpo 
    First ultrasound at 6w3d, hb 122 bpm. 
    Second ultrasound at 7w3d hb 143 bpm 
    Third ultrasound at 10w1d hb 167-170 bpm 
    Forth ultrasound 12w1d hb 167 bpm 
    Graduated rpl program, moving on to regular ob! 
    It's a boy! 

    Little man was born August 1st 2013, 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches long



  • Sammer, there are no words. I am so, so sorry for your loss and I will be thinking of you.
    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
  • Oh hun, I'm so very sorry for your losses.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • There are no words to give you that will make this any easier. Just know that you are loved and being wrapped in hugs and warm thoughts. Sending you tons of love.
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    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles
    - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results

    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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  • Big ((Hugs)), I am so, so sorry.

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
    #1 BFP 2/24/11 EDD 10/29/11 Born 11/1/11
    (via emergency c-section due to prolapsed cord; dx with sensorineural hearing loss Feb 2012)
    #2 BFP 9/13/12 EDD 5/20/13 Natural M/C 10/3/12
    #3 BFP 11/13/12 EDD 7/27/13
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  • Oh no! I am so very sorry for your loss.
    Mommy to Alden, born May 19, 2007 - best birthday present ever! natural m/c October 20, 2008 at 8w1d BFP April 4, 2009! Missed m/c discovered May 1, 2009 D&C May 12,2009 BFP March 3, 2010 Chemical pregnancy BFP May 25, 2010 Elias Derek born January 26, 2011! Surprise BFP October 24, 2012 Missed m/c confirmed Nov 26 D&C Nov 30 Surprise BFP February 13, 2013
  • Sammer I am so sorry to read this. I know you're heartbroken right now and there's nothing I can do to make it not hurt. Know that I'm sending you so much love and :::hugs:::
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I am so so sorry for your loss.
    BFP #1 11/27/11 EDD 08/08/12 M/C 01/27/12 12 wks 2 days
    BFP #2 04/25/12 EDD 01/04/13(?) confirmed ectopic 05/16/12 6 wks 5 days 2 doses of MTX-Lost left tube on 05/25/12 Back to TTC, earlier than originally expected.
    BFP #3 01/05/13 EDD 09/17/13 u/s 1/24/13-great appt, measuring 2 days ahead, NT scan 3/11/13-great scan measuring 4 days ahead, A/S 4/29/13-another great scan can't wait to meet my baby BOY!!!!!
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  • Oh Sammer. I am so sorry.
    MC 4/09 at 6w2d 
    Rainbow Jude 
    born: 12/31/09
    Pre-E Induction at 36w4d
    11 Day NICU stay due to GBS infection

    TTC#2 10/2010
    M/C: 4/09/11 5w
    CP: 12/26/2011 
    CP: 1/28/2012 
    MMC: 4/16/2012 at 11w2d 
    Ectopic: 6/25/2012 MTX 07/03/12
    CP 11/24/2012 
    Rainbow Violet 
    born: 9/11/13

    All ALers welcome! 
  • I am so so sorry
    image Noah Michael, born sleeping 9/29/12 at 19w 3d. We love you forever Little Man! image
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    BFP: 2/4/13 EDD: 10/11/13
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    Patiently waiting for Buggirl to join me!!
    Beta #1 11dpo:89 Progesterone:38.9 Beta #2 18dpo:1940
    HB seen at 6w HB 8w 5d 176bpm! Its a BOY!
    grow rainbow grow!!!!
    All Always Welcome!!
  • Oh no!  I'm so very sorry, Sammer.  I can't begin to know the words to say.  Only that through your grieving, please take care of yourself and if and when you choose a different road to grow your family I hope it is a smooth one and full of happiness.  I'm just so sorry. You're in my prayers and I'm sending so many hugs for you sweetheart. Sad

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

  • I am so, so sorry you're having to go through this. TPs are with you.
    Mom to DS - 9/24/2005 Ectopic Pregnancy - 5/7/2012 Miscarriage - 12/13/2012. Mom to DD - 9/13/2013
  • This is one of the most unfair things... I'm so sorry. I can't believe this is happening for you again (((HUGS)))
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    BFP 1 - March 26, 2012, MMC discovered May 21, 2012
    BFP 2 - October 30, 2012, Rainbow Baby Boy born July 14, 2013
    TTC no sooner than November 2014
  • I am so sorry. Thinking of you, Sammer.
    imageimageimage

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Mother to DD, born sleeping on 9/28/11, and DS, born 3/12/13, 5lbs 13oz, 19in
  • sammer, I have no words.  This is just so incredibly unfair and I am so sorry for your loss.  ((((((((HUGS))))))))

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    M/C 7/8/12

    Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13

    BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15 It's a GIRL!!

     

  • I'm really sorry to hear this, sammer :( 
  • My heart breaks for you.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  (((((hugs)))))

    TTC started Oct '10
    Me: AMA w/RSD, atypical PCOS w/IR, LPD and High Prolactin. Controlled HP post-loss.
    DH: Low-T and borderline morph
    18 cycles, 3 medicated w/RE to get to a BFP!
    EDD 9/7/12, Saw HB @7w3d,missed m/c 1/30 @8w3d, d&c 2/8
    11 AL cycles, 9 medicated/IUI cycles. All BFFN!
    Moving forward with IVF
    BFP#2 our little cycle break surprise on AL cycle 12! EDD 10/27/13
    Beta #1: 41 Beta #2: 398; perfect u/s 3/11 hb @133bpm
    u/s 3/25 one perfect hb @183 bpm, adjusted EDD 10/23/13
    MaterniT21 and carrier screens normal. It's a girl!!!
    Severe Pre-E, HFpEF, PE, AMA & IF= OAD

    imageimageimage
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    All IF/AL Welcome!
  • I am so sorry for your loss
  • ct103ct103 member
    Sammer, I am so sorry for your loss, and for all of your struggles leading up to this. I can't stand it when bad things happen to good people. Wishing you healing and inner peace, in whatever means possible. ((Hugs))
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  • Oh Sammer, I'm so, so sorry. This is so unfair. ((((hugs))))

    image

    TTC #1 since Sept 2011
    BFP#1 1/31/12. Empty sac discovered 3/5/12. MTX due to location in uterine horn.
    BFP#2 2/27/13. Empty sac confirmed 3/20/13. Mifepristone + cytotec.
    Currently TTA until Fall 2013, waiting for operative hysteroscopy
    Blog   ​Chart

  • I'm so sorry Stammers. Huge hugs.
    BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm so very sorry sammer....this breaks my heart for you. You have my T&P's.
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  • ****Lurking****

     

     

    Oh Sammer, I am so so sorry!  So many ((Hugs)) and T&P's to you and your family during this time.  This is not fair!!  

    9.08.12 BFP! | 11.01.12 MMC Discovered at 12 weeks| 11.06.12 D&C 
    11.25.13 BFP#2| 4.07.14 TEAM PINK!!!|EDD 8.8.14 Please be our Rainbow Charlotte Grace <3
    7.01.15 BFP#3| 10.06.15 TEAM BLUE!| EDD 3.02.16
    PgAL/PAL always welcome
    imageimage


  • My heart is broken for you.  Praying that you and your husband will heal.  This is devastating.  Hugs
    Me 35, DH 36
    TTC summer 2008
    Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
    IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
    IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
    IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
    IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
    Mental health break for 10 months
    IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
    IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
    7 fertilized transferred 3
    Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
    First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
    IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
    3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

    Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

    TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
    appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!

    IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta
    11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
    11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
    both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first
    appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!

    image




  • I'm so very sorry for your loss...
    Love: 08/04/2006
    Marriage: 10/02/2010
      Computer Hope
    Baby Carriage: 
    BFP#1 : 03.2012........MMC + D&C : 05.2012
    BFP#2 : 11.12.2012..........Born 07.17.2013
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    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers
    The Buggy List blog
  • I'm so very sorry.

    BFP #1 4/10/12 D&C 6/5/12@ 12.5wks EDD 12/17/12
    BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
    BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
    BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


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  • Oh Sammer, I don't even know what to say. Just know I'm so sorry and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. It's just not fair. ((((HUGS)))

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • edgiaedgia member
    Oh Sammer, I am so very, very sorry. Sending big hugs your way,
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sending you and your family my continued thoughts and prayers.

    m/c 2002 7w2d
    bfp 9.6.12 | edd 5.17.13 | m/c 9.19.12 5w5d

    bfp 10.18.12 | edd 6/28/13

    beta#1 10.18.12 - 96 / progestrone 32 || beta#2 10.22.12 - 711 || beta#3 10.25.12 - 2608 DD born 6/27/13

    bfp 7.16.14 | edd 3/27/15

    beta#1 7.18.14 - 149 || beta#2 7.21.14 - ??


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