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October 2011 Moms
Fianschneid
member
S/O Dinner Table Rules
Fianschneid
member
DH and I were talking about dinner table rules once and I mentioned the "no singing at the table" rule, which I thought was a pretty common rule in most houses. He asked me what I was talking about and I explained, "You know, when you're at the dinner table, you're not supposed to sing. It's rude."
He then had to explain to me that most parents don't have this rule because most parents don't have two spazzy daughters bouncing around and singing when they're supposed to be eating. My poor, single mom deserves a medal.
What rules did you think were normal growing up that, as an adult, you found out were special for your family?
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Re: S/O Dinner Table Rules
My mom was pretty strict with table manners (mostly so we could eat with my grandparents without getting scolded). I think they were pretty standard:
chew with your mouth closed
no elbows on the table
napkin on the lap
asking to be excused when you're done eating
holding your silverware properly
cutting your meat properly
She used to threaten that we'd have to eat in the kitchen with the dog if we couldn't display good manners at the table. That said, I occasionally got a slab of roast beef thrown in my face by my brother when she wasn't looking. She relaxed as we got older, but I'm thankful she established good manners early because they are habit for me.
You need to wear clothes.
You need to take small bites.
I'm certain there's a story, here.
Burned by the Bear
My kids are always "naked" they run around in their underwear, or bathrobes. I gues clothes are just to restricting.
If they want supper they have to have actual clothes on. I have such low standards, yet we fight over this at least 3X a week.
I think because we were two obnoxious kids who weren't singing with inside voices and our mom was trying to find some peace after working three jobs all day. We listened to the radio during dinner and would sing along (loudly) or make up our own songs.
Burned by the Bear
We were pretty lax about rules.
My parents were very lax. I was a very picky eater (then and now), so I was a repeat violator of the "no spitting food out" rule. Once it goes in your mouth, it stays in your mouth.
ETA: I still hate this rule. If you get a piece of meat tendon or fat or something equally disgusting in your mouth by accident, there should be a social exception that allows you to spit it out. Alas, there is not
This was our main rule growing up, except that my mom would always say we would have to take the same amount of bites as our age. So if I was 7, she'd make me take 7 bites (pieces) of broccoli, etc.
Ugh. Fat or tendon pieces make me GAG. I cannot and will not swallow them. Socially appropriate or not.
I always spit them out -- though I try to be discreet. Though my attempts to be discreet tend to draw more attention than anticipated.
We had to dress for meals - meaning you had to be wearing a top and bottom (more for my brother than me) no shirtless dining, and more than boxer shorts.
And no reading at the table (this was more for me than my brother)
We also had a rule that anything the adults said at the dinner table was not to be repeated outside of that room. (My parents had lots of dinner parties, and it was a privilege to sit with the adults. If the grownups gossiped then we weren't supposed to do any gossiping ourselves)
We did not have a no singing at the dinner table rule. There was usually a lot of singing, laughing, and completely inappropriate conversation at our family dinners.