I heard this story on NPR this morning that discusses in part meal time rules for kids and what works or doesn't work...for example, saying "No dessert until you eat your veggies".
Are you implementing any eating guidelines or rules on your LOs already? If so, what are they?
Re: S/O Meals
DH and I have a goal to never make food a punishment or a reward. I also believe that the clean plate club leads to weight problems.
Luckily, for now, DD is a pretty good eater. When she's done, though, she's done and I don't force her to eat more. We didn't have dessert every night growing up and I don't think it's necessary now, either.
I try not to make a big deal about eating because I think it will cause battles of will later. The one rule I'm trying to work on is that all eating should be done at the table - no eating on the run. I think that makes eating a commitment. No two puffs and run away eating. If you want puffs, pull up to the table and strap in. I think (for now) that helps her understand she only needs to eat when she's actually hungry.
Burned by the Bear
I don't specifically say no dessert but what they eat later on in the day and the next day is definitely influenced by what they have already eaten. For instance things like Pop Tarts and cereal aren't usually breakfast foods in our house but if E ate great the night before at dinner I will sometimes let him eat something I normally wouldn't for breakfast. If he doesn't eat dinner then when he asks for something later I only give him options of what I consider real food. I never deny my kids food when they ask for it. I do the same thing with myself, I try to balance my nutrition over a few days instead of worrying about eating x everyday.
ETA: E is generally expected to clean his plate or eat most of what I give him but I only give him small amounts that I know he can eat. Lo doesn't get her full meal at once so I just stop offering food when she seems done.
I just keep reintroducing foods that he doesn't like and hope his tastes change.
One rule that I would like to adventually establish is no throwing food on the ground lol! And that he has to sit nice at the table until we are all done eating!
Mostly, for me, meal times largely are spent begging and pleading with DD to eat one bite of everything on her plate. If I can get her to do that, she usually will end up at least eating all of something on her plate. We have no rules about dessert because we rarely eat it.
DS eats practically everything, we don't really have rules for him because he scarfs down everything.
DH and I were raised similar; some of it was good and some of it was bad. Given this we agree on the same eating rules for DS with some of the rules from our childhood being kept while other are being tossed.
1.) Food is to be eaten at the dining room table only.
2.) There is very little junk food and no soda in our house. A sugary treat is an occasional small treat.
3.) DS gets 2-3 snacks and 3 meals per day. Aside from occasional crackers his snacks are healthy (cheese, fruit, and/or yogurt are his normal snacks). The caveat is daycare snacks but they have been instructed to give him at least 1 fruit or veggie per day.
4.) He needs to eat at the designated meal/snack times. If he chooses not to eat then he doesn't eat again until the next snack or meal.
5.) He doesn't need to clear his plate but he does need to understand rule #4.
6.) We eat dinner as a family, at the table, unless that is absolutely not possible.
7.) He needs to try at least one bite of everything.
I do admit that I will add some ranch to his veggies if he won't eat them. IMO it is the lesser of the 2 evils. We usually have pretty well balanced meals.
AmyC...I agree with you that I liked the "lead by example" in the story. Most of our rules are ones that DH and I do anyway so it isn't new just for DS.
Jwls and Woodsie...I agree about throwing food (heehee)! We are still working on that one. Our mean faces and "NOOOOOOO" are not always doing the trick. Let me know if you find a "cure" for this one as we could use some advice!
I forgot about no TV, cell phones, or other electronics during dinner. If someone calls while we are eating then I won't answer the phone.
Something I will try to do when he is older and will be dishing up his own meals is what my mom did with us. If you take something, you have to eat it. It helped teach us to be in control of our own portions. Taking second or third helpings is great, but if you weren't sure if you would like something, you took a little and tried it and then went from there.
Healthy eating habits are so important to me. I feel like we generally eat very healthy, with only healthy snack options in our house (I do have an incredible sweet tooth but I don't much on candy around A...I'm a closet candy eater). Here are my rules:
1.) I control what she eats, she controls how much. A is an extremely picky eater. She will not eat meat at all. We offer it at nearly every meal, but no dice. I pretty much have a little vegetarian on my hands...she loves the crap out of soy dogs!
2.) She gets 2 snack times. One between breakfast & lunch and one in-between lunch and dinner. These range from a graham cracker or two to a fruit pouch. Nothing too big.
3.) I don't follow up meals with dessert (unless it's a special occasion).
4.) She eats at the table with us, but MH schedule is whack, so it's usually just A and I for most meals.
5.) She drinks water or milk only. No exceptions.
I was an incredibly unhealthy eater until my mid-twenties. I always snacked on sugary beverages, snacks and fast food. I have seen how much better my life is now that I eat healthy and have regular exercise. Seriously one of my main goals as a mom is to raise my children to understand how to make the correct choices regarding food.
They say dark chocolate is very healthy so go with it sister!
Ha ha no cure for the throwing yet! I really wish I did. If he throws his food we tell him no, that's not nice. If he throws again, we tell him that throwing is bad and at this point it is obvious he is done with dinner so we just take him out. It's frustrating because I never get to finish a meal any more.
This is pretty much our philosophy at home. We don't use food as a reward (not sure how you'd use it as a punishment, so that hasn't come into play), we don't do dessert, and when he's done I don't fight him about it.
I think food issues cause a lot of stress for both parents and kids, so I try to make it as stress free for all of us. If he doesn't eat something I serve for dinner, he doesn't eat it, there's usually something else I'm serving he'll eat. When he goes through phases I keep serving what he doesn't like, but make sure it's not an every night occurrence. (Like including vegetarian options in our meal plan when he wasn't eating meat, or continuing to serve spinach/chard/kale during his anti-leafy greens phase)
He has one "regulated" snack (he gets a snack when he gets up from his nap), but he can have food whenever he wants it. I make sure we have lots of fruits and vegetables on hand and ready for if he's hungry, but if he wants a graham cracker instead, that's not the end of the world.
That is a good point Blu. If DS wanted some fruit or veggies outside of snack time then I definitely wouldn't tell him no. My nephew and especially my niece snack on stuff all day and then they don't want to eat dinner. Unfortunately, most of the stuff they snack on is pure garbage. DH and I are adamant that we won't let DS eat like his cousins!