SO fears for my vagine... Silly man
happywife2b
member
My 1st LO was almost 10lbs and I needed an emergency C-sec after 24 hours of hard natural labor. This time OB suggested I schedule a C-sec because he believes #2 will be even larger and he doesn't want me or LO in a dangerous situation. I am fine with that. Better safe than sorry. However, recently LO has started to measure normal (he was measuring very large before) and it occured to me that if he is normal sized by due date (6-8 lbs.) I might be able to have a VBAC. I talked it over with my SO and he is dead set against it. He says he is worried about my vag getting "ruined", and that he wants it to stay intact and untouched by birth... Huh? If he had said he is worried for mine and baby's safety I would have thought, "how sweet..." But his response was so silly I just had to hold my breath for a moment and then change the subject.I guess he never took sex ed.
Not sure what my point is. I just needed to share.
Re: SO fears for my vagine... Silly man
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I had a third degree tear with my first, and it all goes back to normal.
[My husband saw the tear - said I looked like I had a collar from a polo shirt hanging off me down there]
Two weeks after I gave birth my OB said, "It doesn't even look like you had a baby."
Also, that's why we have kegels.
Yikes!! I'm glad I don't know what I looked like! haha I purposely never looked at my stitches because I'm the type that imagines pain when I see something that LOOKS painful.
Not to be the downer but I had an 8lbs 13oz baby and my vag is busted. It works sort of fine but its hella ugly now and levels haven't helped at all. I have vaginal prolapses from the bladder and rectum that make it look like two giant pink easter eggs are trying to escape.
I'm not the norm and its not common to end up breaking your vagina, but nobody told me it was possible when I was pregnant and I feel responsible to not let other women be as shocked as I was. I mourned my vagina for months and its still a huge point of sadness for me, obviously DH is a sweetheart and actually can't feel any difference during sex, but we avoid lights on when getting an up close look and I've lost a lot of my sexual confidence.
Your DH shouldn't care but he does and talk it through with him, let him know his fears are heard and explain your desires. I'm sad my vagina broke but I would never change how my son was born in order to save my body. It was amazing and the most intensely profound moment in my life, thankfully my husband agrees that the experience was worth the price.
Wow, I am appalled by this. What an immature, unsupportive series of statements. I wouldn't coddle my man if he had these fears. I would tell him to get with the program-he helped make a baby and GASP!!!! Babies often come out of VAGINAS!
Also, and I don't mean this as a brag-only as a representation of the support we women deserve during and after birth, my man told me that any changes my body goes through as a result of growing, birthing and feeding our child will be beautiful to him because it shows what I did to make our child possible. Stretch marks, uneven boobs and a possible changed vagina are all signs of the tremendously beautiful battle you, the warrior mama, just fought to bring his child into the world. You deserve respect. If your vagina turns out to be a little different, he oughta be down there kissing it and telling it how grateful he is for it's sacrifice.
All. Of. This.
I agree with all of this.
I also agree with all of this.
I agree! Your H sounds like he is extremely inconsiderate and immature. You are carrying his child and are giving him the gift of fatherhood and he is worried about your vagina? Honestly, he needs to grow up.
ETA: My vag is just as good as it was before and I had a second degree tear.
He sounds lovely.
My second was 10 lbs 10 oz and I didn't tear at all...and my husband has no complaints.
I hope he was kidding and is supportive of you through your pregnancies. Either way, he should appreciate that infant and maternal death risk decreases significantly when vaginal births for normal low risk pregnancies are attempted. Our bodies work in such a way that unless you were to prolapse or suffer another type of injury during labor/delivery, your vagina will relax and change slightly anyway. Just like breasts, even if not used by baby, they were designed to do certain things and won't necessarily look the same.
Good luck with your VBAC!