Hi There! — The Bump
Adoption

Hi There!

Back in the day, I was on the GP board. After a year of TTC (and a miscarriage along the way), we conceived our daughter who was born in 2009. Because I'm no spring chicken, we didn't wait long to start TTC again, but we weren't quite as fortunate this time around. IF treatments don't offer much hope unless we were willing to use donor eggs, which we aren't comfortable with, so here I am. Turns out DD was more of a miracle that we ever realized! 

So we are exploring adoption now and hope to start a process sometime this summer. I've been lurking here for awhile and have learned a lot, but still have plenty more to learn. Right now, for a few reasons, we're leaning toward DIA. We're actually open to slightly older children, but I'm not sure we're up for the foster/adopt process. 

 I've gotten bogged down a bit lately in reading about adoption ethics and all the issues and problems in all sorts of adoption and I need to stop because it makes me so scared to step into something and get caught up in the whirlwind. Obviously there is a difference between being informed and proactive and being paranoid and I may be teetering over into the paranoid. I appreciate reading all of your personal experiences - good and bad - and look forward to learning lots more as we dip our toes into this new rollercoaster. 

***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.

Re: Hi There!

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  • Welcome! You sound a lot like me. The negative stuff is easy to get bogged down in, but since we've started this journey we have met so many adoptive families who have proven what I always knew: adoption is a beautiful thing. Good luck!
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  • I also was nervous reading about the negativity surrounding adoption, frankly, it shocked me! I actually had long talks with adoptee friends and I have seen way too many good things about adoption to feel like that. Just make sure you go through a ethical agency. We chose our agency because of their good reputation with birth mothers. 
    Domestic Adoption-Activated January 29th, 2013. Trying to be patient. The journey: http://perpetuallyupsidedown.tumblr.com/
  • Welcome! I agree, too much research online can definitely lead to worry. Welcome to the group!

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

  • Welcome!
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
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  • Hi,

     

    I've done tons of reading as well--- and some of the ethical issues are really quite disturbing--- have you looked an Somebody's Children---it's all about the ethics behind transracial and transnational adoption. 

     

    I think that part of completing an adoption ethically is choosing the right people to work with. I know that many folks chose independent adoption with the aid of an attorney. I've not met an attorney that made me comfortable enough to chose that route. We're working with an agency, I feel that they have sustained a number of award that speak to their ethics of working with both birth families and adoptive families and so I feel that even if the whole adoption process is scary and challenging that at least the ethical issues around it solidly dealt with.

     

     

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    TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
  • Hi!  My husband and I are currently in the process of a domestic newborn adoption. I would highly recommend using well established and respected agency, especially if you are concerned about the ethics.  I am not saying that adoption lawyers and necessarily unethical but I do believe agencies are able to provide much more support to both birthparents and adoptive families than a lawyer can.  I see you are in North Carolina?  So are we.  Please PM me if you would like any information about which agency we chose and why or anything else about the domestic newborn adoption process.

  • Thank you all so much for the support, information, and advice. I'm quite a researcher, so I know I will have a lot of homework. Our lives are such that we aren't going to be able to make any decisions for a couple of months, which gives me plenty of time to worry and find scary stories : I don't think I will be able to go through the process without an agency unless a situation landed in my lap, but there are nine in our area, so some travel will be involved which has its own considerations. Basically, it's all just overwhelming and I'm trying not to let it make me too crazy yet!
    ***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.
  • rssullivan, I sent you a PM. 

    I'd love agency feedback from anyone in NC 

    ***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.
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